by Bijou Hunter
My sweet firstborn endures my endless cuddles and cooing. I can’t get enough of little Ben, carrying him with me everywhere and refusing to let others hold him. Glitch literally has to steal the baby when I’m in the bathroom, just to enjoy our baby’s company.
“He looks so much like you,” I say, sitting next to Glitch while he feeds our son.
“I think he looks like you.”
Cuddling closer, I caress my baby’s cheek and then do the same to Glitch’s. My heart is so full of love for my boys that I worry I won’t have room for another child. In fact, I panic a little when I get pregnant again less than a year after Ben’s born.
“What if I can’t love this baby as much as I do Ben?” I ask Ginger while our baby boys rest on their backs and reach for their separate activity gyms.
“You’ve never failed to step up when necessary. Not even when things were painful. Loving your baby will be easy. You can’t help yourself when it comes to anything related to Glitch.”
I snort when she mocks my obsession with Glitch. After all, she’s freakishly whipped by Oz.
Ginger is right, of course, that I’ll adore my second child as much as my first. Dalisay Luiza is just as perfect as her brother, but she also has the additional power of wrapping Glitch around her itty-bitty finger.
“You’re a good daddy,” I coo when he holds her little body in his large, protective arms.
There are times I’m stung by longing when I see how easily Glitch loves his children. My father never wanted to be close to me. He didn’t care about my interests, crave my hugs, or just want to know me. Our relationship was broken from the very beginning. Glitch is the complete opposite, loving his children even before they’re born.
There are times when I’m certain that loving so deeply will tear me apart. Every time I’m overwhelmed, Glitch saves me with a smile, kiss, or kind word. He always knows when I struggle. Always understands how to make everything better.
We make plans to one day travel to the Philippines to meet my extended family. I’m nowhere ready for that step yet, and not only because flying with kids sounds horrifying. I’ve just gotten the hang of loving my man and kids. Adding a group of strangers to the mix is more than I can handle, though Cayenne gives me plenty of homework to prepare. While I’m pregnant with our third child, Glitch starts saving money and sets a travel goal for when our youngest is six-years-old. Since we’re not done with three babies, I have plenty of time to prepare for the next big step in learning to love easily.
Before Glitch, I only knew how to be a warrior. His love and patience finally made me whole, giving me the confidence to be a woman without a war to fight. No longer restless and searching, I’ve finally found my home.
➸ Glitch ★
Oz claims Clove and I will never stop having kids. His prediction comes after our fourth, and last, child is born. Alon Luis is the spitting image of his brother, Ben. His sisters, Dalisay and Jaslene Lulita, somehow manage to look completely different yet exactly like their mother.
Fatherhood suits me as perfectly as marriage. Clove willingly hands over control of much of the decision-making, instead enjoying her role as the family’s cuddle queen. It’s my idea—well, I stole it from Oz but whatever—for Clove and I to go away alone every few months for the weekend. I never want to forget how sexy and interesting my wife is, and I certainly hope she’ll never to lose sight of my many great qualities. We don’t travel far when the kids are little. Up to Little Memphis or down to Little Rock mostly, but the time away gives us a chance to breathe and renew our enthusiasm for everything waiting for us back at home.
After Jas is born, we can no longer deny the townhome is too small for three kids. Clove doesn’t want to live too far from the crew, so we take months to find a suitable house. The cottage-style one-story needs a remodel but has good bones and is within walking distance of the townhome complex.
“It reminds me of the home I grew up in,” Clove says as we walk through the place.
Ben runs out the back door and points at a swing set. Dalisay totters after him and points too. She thinks her brother is cooler than anyone in the world, so I pray Ben doesn’t grow up to be a jackass. No doubt his sister will either be a jackass too or fall in love with one.
“Will living here bring up bad memories?” I ask after taking Jas from Clove.
“Yes, but we’ll replace them with happy memories,” she says, smiling. “I think it’ll be good for me.” Clove’s grin widens when I wipe slobber from our teething daughter’s mouth. “Is there anything sexier than a big strong man whipped by a tiny child?”
Leaning forward, I whisper, “You on all fours tonight in bed.”
Clove gives me a wink before yawning so big that I wonder if she’ll manage to stay awake through sex later. I can’t really complain since I fell asleep during our make-out session the night before. Clove left to use the bathroom and came back to find me crashed on the couch.
This is our life now—messy, exhausting, chaotic, sexy, and downright fucking perfect.
About Bijou
Living in Indiana with my three sweet sons, three wacky cats, one super mom (and her ugly dog), I love cats, 1970s rock, Bubble Witch Saga, Red Letter Media, and sitcoms canceled before their time.
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