The boy slouched over and mumbled to himself.
“Do you need my help?”
“I think we can handle it.”
Maggie made a mental note that Ben was helping boost Eli’s self esteem. It was a man project and she didn’t need to interfere.
She pulled out some leftover roast beef for dinner and made sure there was enough in case Ben wanted to stay. She could thank her mother for the Italian cooking gene, she made more than was necessary for just her and Eli, and would continue to do so. Besides, Eli was always asking people to stay for dinner. She assumed he missed his father and tried to create his own family by having friends come for dinner.
He invited everybody, even kids from school who lived an hour away.
Five minutes later the garage door swung open and in came her little tyke with a red nose and zipped up coat that made him a bit clumsy. “This way,” he hollered. She rushed to the door and closed it behind them.
The tree farm had an extra large stand, for an additional twenty bucks, plus tip for whoever tied the monster pine onto her car. She was in for well over a hundred dollars by time they left. But the smile on Eli’s face was worth it.
The tree was up in no time, without much effort either. “Wow,” Maggie rounded the kitchen corner and stared at the massive pine.”
“I can’t believe it fits.” Of course given his height, Ben made the tree a bit smaller.
“I took another six inches off just to be sure. I figured you may have an angel or star that you want to fit at the top.”
“We do. Thank you.”
Maggie turned back to get some money for Ben.
“Hey mom, can he stay for dinner?”
She smiled, having been one step ahead of him. Ben held out his hand in protest. “That’s not necessary.”
“It’s no problem. I was already heating up dinner when you were outside.”
He straightened up. “I’m grateful for the offer but I have to get back.”
Eli’s shoulders caved yet again. He was either crushed or manipulating the situation. Maggie wasn’t sure.
“Buddy, Ben has a family too, he needs to get home.”
Her heart did a minor jilt when he didn’t correct her. In her experience a man will let you know if he is available. Either way she was not having a handsome rugged dinner guest and it was best to let the notion go.
“It was a pleasure meeting both of you. I hope to see you soon,”
Eli followed Ben to the garage door and watched as Maggie closed it behind him. His behavior reminded her that her son was growing up without a father figure; and that was her choice. Eli would never hear from his father again, would he? And she’d hold on to that secret until she died.
CHAPTER SIX
Maggie woke at 1:50 am, rubbing her neck. The fire was at a dull roar. She closed the flute and trailed off to bed. She had a glass or two of wine and perused through her favorite online catalog once Eli fell asleep. He had talked about Ben for nearly an hour once he left.
Maggie felt a twinge of guilt yet again for being a single mom, but she wasn’t about to date someone just to please her son. There’s no way she was ready— not even if Mr. Hall was available. Her stubbornness had become quite the defense. It served her well too.
She shut off the lights and peered into Eli’s room. The bright glow of his globe was still spinning; even she enjoyed the universe display as it moved along the ceiling. He wanted her to keep it on all night as a reward for finally moving into his own bedroom.
As she shut the door, she thought of Ben. It was a strange but comfortable feeling to have a man in their home. A man she found attractive, in a rugged sort of way. But what was attraction, other than a group of hormones and chemicals that led to stupid decisions?
What she needed, if she even needed man, was someone who was docile and trustworthy. Not someone who worked in Denver and did God knows what while he was gone. It was too easy these days to pop pills, have affairs, hide your true self. No, she was better off with Vala. Then Claire’s voice wandered through her mind. You can’t hide forever Maggie. One day you have to find a father for Eli.
As soon as she pushed away the thought, Ben popped up in her mind again. She felt the smile grace her face and blushed even though no one was looking.
Klaus was on the phone when Maggie arrived. The office looked even messier than when she left it on Friday. She fished through the mail, sorting bills, checks, advertisements and requests. Next she checked the fax machine. Klaus didn’t seem to care about finances; which is why he needed Maggie. He also hated email, so she spent a good half hour per day printing out incoming messages before sending a reply.
Business was booming, especially with all the fuss about handguns and personal protection. Maybe it was time for her to ask for a raise; it couldn’t hurt. He was a good boss. He never complained and he didn’t ask questions, unless it pertained to the canine industry. Even in the beginning, he only secured enough information about her history to pair her up with the right dog. Whether or not he understood her fear, she did not know. To him it was just like any other sale.
Perhaps, the less he knew the better. As far as Maggie was concerned, she felt more comfortable here than at any woman’s shelter she’d stayed in along the way.
Klaus hung up the phone and marked the wall calendar. “The Aurora K9 unit will be coming next month,” he said, void of any emotion.
“That’s great. They’ve been up in the air for weeks now.”
“Well, it’s official. And I even raised my price, since they gave me such trouble.”
Klaus had begun a new program for narcotics dogs. One of his DEA clients back East was scheduled for training three days this week. She had to hand it to him, Klaus did not travel, everyone came to him. He was one of the best. They didn’t advertise in Robb Report and high-end magazines. You only found Klaus through a referral. That’s how he knew you were serious, and that you had the finances to afford him.
Maggie read an article in a gun magazine that interviewed Klaus. The information was incredible and outlined the personal security a dog could add to security detail for millionaires. He believed you should take your dog with you when you travel, it would thwart off attackers. And when you own a billion dollar company, you make enemies. Some of them won’t wait for you at home— hence bringing the dog.
The cool air whipped in behind Eli. He climbed into the back of the car and buckled himself in his seat. His puffy coat made it difficult, so Maggie made him unzip it.
“Hey buddy, how was your day?”
“Good.” His cheeks were red from waiting outside. He held onto a green piece of paper even though the wind tugged it from his little hands.
“What do you have there?” She took the paper and read it as they crept forward out of the school pick up line. “You’re collecting pine cones for a Christmas craft. How cool is that?”
“It’s gonna be fun. Can we get some from our yard? There are huge ones in the back at the bottom of the hill.”
Maggie wasn’t a fan of the hill. It was fun for sledding but walking back up to the house, had its challenges.
“I tell you what, why don’t we go to the store and buy the other supplies this way we can support the school and then when it warms up, we will collect plenty of cones in our yard.”
Eli shook his head, already sipping away at the chocolate milk she brought for him.
The lights in town were far and few between. Maggie sailed up the busy route. The twenty mile trek between towns was filled with rocky canyons and sparse fir trees. Spacing out at the light, Maggie started to think about Ben. She knew he wanted to return to Denver, so why did he ask her out? He did come back and spent time with Eli. That doesn’t reflect the actions of a guy who’s ‘not’ interested. Still, what was she doing? Was this some sort of pep talk to get her ready for a date or worse, to prepare her in case there was no date.
Maggie checked the rear view mirror when they drove through town. She smi
led as they came to a red light. Eli was singing along to his favorite tune, when she looked back again she noticed a man in a dark hoody crossing the street. Her heart froze.
She couldn’t see the person’s face but the walk was familiar. She watched him reach the corner and head up a hill. There were no restaurants or gas stations in the area, and the light was a crossing only for cars that lived in Cascade.
“BEEEEEPPPPPPP.” The car behind her slammed on the horn. Her eyes were fixed on the man. She hesitated to move. The figure climbed up a rocky formation and kept going. Was it Jack?
“Go mommy,” Eli called.
The light turned orange and cars continued to pass. She pressed on the gas and sped through the signal. “Eli honey, Mommy has a great idea. Why don’t we go home and warm up by the fire. We can do the store on a warmer day.”
She kept driving and dug through her purse. Her throat closed. Was that Jack? Or was her mind playing tricks on her?
Vala was at the door and Maggie rushed Eli inside. He swerved a paper plane through the air like a fighter jet. “Mom, look it’s on fire,” he said eagerly as he ran around her.
Maggie never knew the right response when her entire body tensed up and Eli was just playing as little boys do. She wanted to stop him, protect him and sometimes even yell, but what good would that do.
At bedtime Maggie urged Eli to go to sleep. Her mind was in a quandary over Ben. She had been hoping to hear from him, but nothing. She began to wonder why.
Maggie stood still, the echo of footsteps came from behind her. She spun back, trying figure out which way she should go. The trees were vast and sprawling, neither direction seemed safe. She began to look around, and looked up. Where was she going to hide?
Just then the rifle fired.
Maggie opened her eyes and clenched her chest. She listened for the sound but realized it was the dream again. This time, Vala was staring at her from the side of the bed. She propped herself up on her shoulders, and looked around. The time was 5:35am.
“What is it girl?”
The dog backed up, signaling Maggie to follow her. It was not likely that the dog had to go outside, Vala had a schedule and she rarely deviated. Thankful that she slept a solid six hours, she pushed the covers back and walked toward the window. The sun had yet to rise in her back yard.
Maggie checked on her little guy, Vala stayed close to her. He would be up soon, ready for his Saturday morning cartoons.
She usually left his door ajar, as to not wake him. Thankfully the child was still asleep. She stared at her baby, wishing in her heart there had been more children. But she wouldn’t trade him for two others. He was her precious miracle and she needed to remember that.
Maggie tucked her hair behind her ears and pressed a kiss to his plump cheek. Then she pulled his blankets up to his waist. He was always kicking his covers off in the middle of the night. It was a constant struggle. He’d kick off the covers in a sweat and later cool off without them, hence the middle of the night bed wetting accidents.
She went to the kitchen, poured herself a cup of water and heated it up in the microwave. She didn’t consider herself an official tea drinker until she bought a tea pot! For now she was an ex-coffee drinker who just wanted something warm to sip and besides, hot chocolate was unkind to the hips.
Vala walked over to the door and lay on her bed. It was customary for her to sleep there when the night was settling in. Still Maggie wondered if her dreams were bothering the dog? Could she tell something was wrong with her master?
Maggie shuffled back to her bed and flipped on the TV. Why cooking shows put her sleep, she still hadn’t figured out, but they worked. She looked over at her journal on the nightstand. She had over two weeks until her next appointment, who knows what may happen before then. Maybe life would get better, maybe she would miraculously heal. Maybe.
CHAPTER 7
Claire called on the way to St. Bart’s. She wanted to meet up and give Maggie some clothes her daughters weren’t wearing. Maggie had been losing weight for over a year, she was down to a hundred pounds, another thing her therapist warned her against. Claire was the only one who didn’t pester her over the whole issue. Maggie was a single mom with a secret, and that made for stress, and stress caused her to skip meals, which led to weight loss.
She reluctantly agreed, hoping to stay in the same mood as last night. And she would not, she looked in the rear view mirror, under any circumstance, tell Claire about Ben. She’d never hear the end of it.
She pulled into the only space at the Green Café and brushed past two gentlemen who held the door open. Thank you she waved, happy to warm up inside the building. Most of the crowd got their morning latte and ran back out the door, she and Claire were the lucky ones, they were able to sit and chat.
“What’s with you?”
Claire burrowed her eyes into Maggie. “What?”
Maggie unwound her scarf and tried to hold hack her smile. “Yeah, see, you are smiling?” Why are you smiling?”
“Because it’s almost Christmas, that’s why.”
Claire wriggled her finger in the air. “I’m on to you. Something’s up.”
“Seriously, we drove up to a tree farm and got this monster size pine. Eli’s happy, so I’m happy.”
“Have you started Christmas shopping yet?”
“Can’t say that I have,” she answered guiltily.
“But you have ideas right?” Claire ate her muffin and wiped her fingers. “Do kids still write to Santa?”
“Of course they do. What fun would that be to send in an email?”
“Well, take a look at his list, pick something from there.”
“You are sneaky Claire Barker.”
The girls were smiling, as a dark figure caught Maggie’s eye. She saw the same hooded figure pass by the coffee shop. She froze.
Claire dropped her muffin. “What’s wrong?”
She swallowed hard, and looked at her friend, then back to the window.
“I thought I saw Jack.”
“Brush it off Maggie.”
She shook her head, her heart was racing.
“Maggie, look, it’s just your hyper vigilance. With everything you’ve been through, you are going to have days when this sneaks up on you.”
“I know.”
“There are a lot of creeps out there. It still scares me to think that this could happen again.”
Maggie reached for her hand. She was well aware that her mind could be playing tricks on her. Doctor Gibbons had explained this to her numerous times, particularly when she questioned herself. Jack’s psychosis had worn off on her. She was not the one with a mental illness. What was happening had to do with shifts in her thinking as Jack’s thoughts stopped being her own. It was Jack who trained her to fear, to see things that were not there, who instilled terror and the opportunity for horror.
Dr. Gibbons said it would take years for Maggie to think like a regular person, not that she knew what that was. She removed her coat, as her body heat rose. She sat back in her chair and rubbed her hands over her tired eyes.
“Are you all right?”
She exhaled and flattened her palms on the table.
“Maggie, you’re relapsing. Breathe honey.”
“He’s not dead. Jack’s not dead.”
Claire twisted in her chair. “What do you mean he’s not dead?”
She swallowed hard, “I mean, I led you to believe that he was, but I didn’t kill him. I only pretend he was, but it’s not true, though I wish it was.”
Maggie’s jaw dropped opened. “Oh my God Maggie, do you think he found you?”
She exhaled again. “I don’t know. I thought it was my imagination, and it could be.” Her mind raced to incident of Vala being sick and her staring out over the ridge yesterday.
“Maybe that’s what your nightmares are about. Maybe fate is trying to warn you.”
Maggie straightened up. “It’s not fate. It’s God.” She let that settle inside
her. “What do I do?”
“You call that lawyer, and then you go to the cops.”
“I have a restraining order back at home, but I need the state of Colorado to uphold that.”
“Maggie, that piece of paper is not going to save your life. You need to call that lawyer. You need a National Protective Order.”
She reached for her phone and reminded herself that Vala was her protection. As long as the dog stayed with her, Jack couldn’t touch her.
Maggie parked outside the Denver law building. Wearing the only feminine blouse she owned, she buttoned up her coat and strode into the expansive lobby. The security guard waved her through and she took the elevator to the fourteenth floor. She called on a whim and spoke with the secretary. Collin was noted as the areas only reputable attorney with a background in criminal law. The secretary seated her in the expansive, ornate waiting area. She watched as a few paralegals or assistants buzzed about. Then the door opened and Collin came out to greet her.
She walked past a few doors and finally into the conference room. Maggie tucked in her skirt before sitting down. “Ms. Burke, how are you?”
“Not well, otherwise I wouldn’t be here.”
“I understand.”
Maggie looked around the room. She could tell from the oversized chairs and wall of windows that the firm was doing well. Collin flipped open a pad of paper and began to write. “Can you tell me why you are seeking an injunction against your husband?”
Maggie understood that the secretary was probably ill informed on the reason for her visit. She removed the paperwork from her handbag and stated that she already had a protective order from her home state, but she wanted to ensure her safety here in Colorado.
She handed him the papers and sat back, not sure how he would react to her ordeal. So many other people just stared; it was beginning to make her feel ostracized.
She folded her legs and breathed in deeply while he thumbed through the documents. “You’ve certainly been through the ringer.”
Every Last Breath Page 4
