Alice's Secret

by Lynne Francis

  Had some madness overtaken her? What folly was it that had made Williams seem like a saviour? Alice recognised that exhaustion meant that she wasn’t thinking straight after her deer-pool vigil, but she began to wonder whether she wasn’t, in fact, thinking more sensibly now than she had done for a while. Just because Williams wanted her didn’t mean he would be a good husband. True, he had a more secure job than the other mill workers but Alice didn’t see him being prepared to share this good fortune with her family. Quite the opposite, in fact. He’d shown worrying signs of intending to keep her from everyone after they were married, making it clear that he expected her to devote herself to the care of the house while he was at work, ‘not going gallivanting off to see that mother of yours at the drop of a hat’. He didn’t plan to involve her family in any celebration of their wedding, and told her he wanted her out of Sarah’s house straight away. The power balance had shifted the minute she’d agreed, nay, proposed to marry him. She could see that now. Even though they were not yet wed, his behaviour towards her had reverted to the way it had been in the mill days. He saw her as his possession. He hadn’t tried to force her, mainly because she took pains to keep him at arm’s length, but the change in his demeanour was marked.

  Somehow, she’d got through the long hours until the mill day was done. Then she’d left Elisabeth with Sarah with the briefest of explanations, although she’d felt sure her face had given far more away than she’d said. It hadn’t been difficult to find Williams: she knew his routes and his timings thoroughly by now.

  Even through the gathering dusk she’d seen his face lift when he’d seen her. She’d felt a pang then, a worry that she’d misjudged him, but she couldn’t let it affect her resolution. She’d told him, as bluntly as when she’d suggested that they should marry. She’d apologised for making a terrible mistake, and told him she was sorry.

  He hadn’t expected it, but was quick to counter: ‘So, you’ve heard that your Richard is back, have you? Think you can do better than me now? That you can go calling at the big house and take him away from his lovely new wife, do you?’

  He took a step forward and Alice backed away, heart beating fast. ‘There’s nowt there for the likes of you and your bastard. You’re lucky I’m even prepared to take her on. There’s many a man that wouldn’t.’

  Alice, stung, could hold her counsel no longer. ‘Richard’s a better man than you. At least he loves me. And his daughter.’ She hesitated, as Williams’s brows knitted and his expression became grim. She hadn’t intended to say a word about Richard.

  ‘Have it your own way, Alice Bancroft. You’ll live to regret it, see if you don’t.’

  And with that he turned on his heel and headed up the track towards home. The home that would have been his and Alice’s and Elisabeth’s in a few days’ time.

  Alice stood and watched him go, then turned slowly homewards herself. He hadn’t raged at her, or even struck her, both of which she’d half expected. His threat didn’t worry her. The words were those which people flung at each other in anger, to mask hurt pride. In fact, in many respects, she told herself, she’d got off lightly. It was done, and she tried hard to feel relieved.

  Chapter Five

  As Richard let himself out of the side gate, Lucy at his side, he reflected on how different his mood was to that of just a few weeks ago. He’d purposely not asked Caroline to accompany him, ignoring as best he could her hurt look when he said, ‘I’ll just take Lucy out. I won’t be gone long.’ Noticing his mother open her mouth to speak, he made a fuss of shooing Lucy from the room, to create a diversion, and slipped through the sitting-room door before anyone had prevailed upon his better nature. He desperately needed some time to himself, to try to work out how to manage the situation. He’d married someone he no longer loved – perhaps never had – to please his family, and in so doing he’d lost not only his one true love, but their daughter too. He’d waited as long as he dared for Alice at the deer pool, but she hadn’t come, which meant she wanted nothing more to do with him. She’d be married within the week and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He didn’t deserve her. He’d been spineless to give in to family and propriety and to marry Caroline. Spineless …

  Richard realised that he’d spoken aloud; Lucy, by his side, looked up at him, head cocked enquiringly. Richard groaned, and bent to fondle her ears. ‘Oh Lucy, what’s to be done? How am I to free myself from this situation?’ As he straightened up, a glow amongst the trees below caught his eye. Puzzled, he strained to see where it might be coming from. Had someone lit a fire down on the bank of the stream? It seemed unlikely. Poachers were the only ones likely to be out and about of an evening, and they would never risk drawing attention to themselves. Richard’s heart lurched as the increasing glow now identified itself as flickering, leaping flames. The light they cast offered the briefest glimpse of a tall chimney, throwing the brickwork into relief. The fire was at the mill.

  In desperation, Richard cast around for one of the tracks that he knew led downwards off this path; the steep trails that the mill workers used as shortcuts every day. The packhorse steps must be close by – he broke into a run, and at first Lucy bounded along beside him, made joyful by this new game. But she must have begun to sense something was amiss. When he reached the path that he sought and turned sharply to begin a headlong descent, she hesitated, barking a couple of times, torn between keeping him faithful company or turning back. She chose the former, but within the half-hour she was scrabbling back up the path, whimpering, tail and ears down as she headed for home, alone.

  Part Seven

  Chapter One

  Alys had been so excited when Hannah’s email arrived to say that she and Matt were back from their travels. They were thinking of heading back to Oz to work for a while, but first they were catching up with family and friends. Hannah was travelling up to see her parents in Durham, but she wanted to know if she could come back via Yorkshire and stay with Alys?

  She’d arrived at the end of September, looking tanned and fit and full of stories of amazing temples in Thailand and Cambodia, river trips and hangovers in Laos, volunteering at a Vietnamese school, guarding turtle hatchlings in Malaysia. The world had shrunk in Hannah’s hands, hundreds of thousands of miles reduced to an admittedly wonderful collection of photographs and clearly fantastic memories. Alys had listened intently, asked questions, determinedly tried to follow the route in her head, although painfully aware that her geographical knowledge was being tested to its limit. At the end of it all, it was clear that Hannah and Matt had had a fabulous time, but it was hard to experience something like that at a distance. The saying ‘you had to be there’ seemed to apply: it felt no more real to Alys than London currently did.

  Maybe it was because she was so busy setting up the new café? Her mind never seemed to be fully engaged with anything else, and she felt very guilty that she could give Hannah so little of her time when she’d been away so long and come especially to visit her.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ Hannah told her with a laugh. ‘I’m going to enjoy exploring the area. You’ve been pretty bad at keeping in touch since you’ve been here. I’m keen to see what’s kept you so busy.’

  Alys and Hannah were camping out in the flat above the new Nortonstall café. It had basic furniture in place, and Moira felt that it would give them more privacy to catch up in a relaxed way than if Hannah had stayed with them in Northwaite. So, while Alys dealt with builders, plumbers and decorators, Hannah took herself off on walks around Nortonstall. Her travels had made her curious and chatty and each day brought her back with tales of where she’d been and who she’d met. Perhaps because these adventures were happening in a landscape that Alys loved and could identify with, she found them far more fascinating than Hannah’s more exotic travels. And Hannah had brought an Indian summer with her.

  ‘You must have packed some sunshine in your rucksack when you left Thailand,’ Alys marvelled as day after glorious day unfolded. By the weeken
d, with the weather still holding good and Flo away on her own holiday, Moira was begging for extra help in the Northwaite café. ‘With all this amazing sunshine, I think we’re going to be much busier than usual,’ she said. ‘Is there any chance you could help out?’

  Alys had been looking forward to spending a full day with Hannah and had already made plans for what they might do. She tried hard to hide her disappointment. ‘I’d be glad to,’ she said, ‘but I feel bad about Hannah. I’ve only been able to spend evenings with her so far. I’d planned to do something with her on Saturday before she has to head back to London on Sunday.’

  ‘Leave it with me,’ Moira said. ‘I’ll see if I can sort something out.’

  Alys understood her to mean she’d find someone else to help out in the café, and thought no more about it. Until Saturday morning found Rob and the Land Rover waiting outside the Nortonstall café.

  ‘Rob!’ Alys was startled to find him there when she came down from the flat to check whether a delivery of tiles had arrived. She hadn’t seen him for the best part of a month. And, she realised with a shock, she’d been too busy to notice. With so many things to organise at the new premises, she’d hardly been back to Northwaite for the last few weeks.

  ‘Hello stranger,’ Rob said, beaming at her. He looked tanned and fit, Alys noticed. She experienced a sudden rush of feeling. Was it affection? Friendship? Or something a bit more than that?

  ‘I heard how busy you’d been here,’ Rob continued. ‘It will be nice to have you back in Northwaite again.’ He paused, registering Alys’s surprise.

  ‘Didn’t Moira tell you? She’s sent me to collect you. While you help out in the café I’m going to show Hannah the sights of Northwaite – well, a bit further afield, more like. Then we’ll all eat together this evening.’

  ‘Oh.’ Alys was nonplussed. ‘Oh. Okay, hold on, I need to talk to Hannah.’

  By the time Alys had climbed the stairs back up to the flat she was feeling decidedly grumpy. It seemed really unfair on Hannah – it was her last full day and they’d planned to spend time catching up, discussing Hannah’s plans for the future.

  Hannah, however, wasn’t at all put out. ‘It’s great that you’re busy and doing so well,’ she said. ‘And it’s really good of Moira to arrange a trip out for me.’ She pulled her T-shirt over her head then ran her fingers through her hair as she peered out of the window. ‘Ooh, is that my chauffeur, down there by the Land Rover? I think I’m going to enjoy my day!’

  Alys, shoving a few things into her rucksack to take to the café, snorted. ‘You’ll probably get a tour of the best farmland for miles around. But Rob’s done some travelling – spent some time in Oz. You’ll have some things in common.’

  Hannah registered the tone of Alys’s voice and paused as they were about to lock up and head down the stairs. ‘All work and no play and all that, Alys,’ she said, looking her friend squarely in the eye. ‘You’re taking life too seriously at the moment. I know you’re busy, but you need to organise some time off. It’s a shame you can’t come along today, too.’

  Alys sighed. ‘Let me get the café opening out of the way. Things are just a bit too manic at the moment to take a break. Come on, let’s get going or else it will be mayhem over in Northwaite.’

  Rob gave a start when both girls arrived beside him on the pavement. ‘Look at you, you could be sisters,’ he said.

  Hannah and Alys turned to stare at each other. Alys was pale, any vestige of a tan long since gone due to spending so much time inside, her reddish-blonde hair springing out wildly around her face as usual. Hannah’s tan was deep from months of travelling, and her hair, less wild than Alys’s but still curly, was dark brown. They both frowned, then burst out laughing. ‘It’s true, people have said it before but we can never see it,’ Alys said. ‘Rob, this is Hannah. Hannah – your guide for today – Rob.’

  Alys wedged herself into the back of the Land Rover so that Hannah could sit in the front. As she listened to Rob and Hannah chat on the short journey, she reflected that their conversation flowed much more easily than the first time that she’d met Rob. She felt a pang of envy. They were going to have a good day today.

  Chapter Two

  With a sigh of relief, Alys turned the sign on the café door to read ‘Closed’. Moira had finished wiping counters and was heading outside to fold up tables and chairs. Late afternoon sunshine still warmed a corner of the courtyard. ‘Let’s just enjoy the sun for a few minutes before we finish clearing up,’ Alys pleaded. ‘We’ve been stuck indoors all day.’

  ‘If I sit down, I’ll never get up again.’ Moira was poised, cloth in hand, ready to wipe over the outdoor tablecloths. Then she stopped. ‘Well, you’re right, we need to wait for Rob and Hannah. You make some tea. I’ll see what we’ve got left in the way of cake.’

  Half an hour later, when Rob and Hannah made their way through to the courtyard, they found Moira and Alys stretched out in their chairs, eyes closed and heads back against the wall, soaking up the sun’s rays in total silence. Empty teacups and plates of crumbs testified to time well spent. ‘Sorry we’re late,’ said Hannah, biting her lip. ‘We had such a great day out we lost track of time. It took longer to get back than we thought.’

  Moira stretched and yawned, then smiled up at Hannah. ‘Where did you go?’ she asked.

  ‘Some amazing reservoirs,’ said Hannah. ‘There were three of them, in a kind of chain along the valley, in the middle of this really unspoilt countryside. We barely saw a soul – it felt like we were the only people left alive on earth! We walked for miles.’

  Alys shaded her eyes from the dying rays of the sun. Once again, she experienced a sudden stab of envy. She’d been stuck in a hot café all day, dishing out smiles along with cups of tea and coffee and slices of cake, while Hannah had been out in the fresh air, striding across some of the most glorious countryside around. Which was what her friend had spent most of the past year doing, on her travels. And she was clearly getting on very well with Rob. She wondered what Matt would think.

  As if reading her mind, Hannah said, ‘I took some photos while we were up there and sent them to Matt. To prove you don’t have to travel half way around the world to see amazing landscapes.’

  Moira stood up and started to fold up the remaining chairs. ‘You’ve been so lucky with the weather, Hannah. It really is spectacular here when the sun shines. It’s a real bonus that it’s still so lovely this late in the year.’

  Alys became aware that Rob’s eyes were fixed on her. ‘You’re very quiet,’ he remarked.

  Hannah glanced sharply at Alys. ‘You’re looking tired. Are you okay?’ She turned to Rob, ‘I’ve been telling her she needs a holiday.’

  Moira joined in. ‘You’re right. We’re both tired. It’s been a busy day today, with this glorious weather. We’re not open tomorrow, though. It’s the start of our Sunday closing for the autumn – the walkers will have to manage without us for a change. We can both have a rest. And tonight, there’s a barbecue at the pub, so we don’t have to cook, either!’

  Alys tried hard to shake off the return of her grumpy mood. Hannah was her best friend, she hadn’t seen her in well over a year and this was their last evening together. She’d no idea where this sudden jealousy had sprung from but it was time she put it back firmly in its box, before it ruined the evening ahead.

  ‘You’re right, I do need a break,’ she said. She noticed her aunt’s worried glance. ‘But it’s not going to happen for a while – maybe once we’ve got the new place up and running. Now, tell me more about today.’ And she linked arms with Hannah as they all made their way out of the café and up the road to The Old Bell.

  It wasn’t until much later that evening, as Hannah and Alys headed back to Nortonstall, sleepy in the back of their minicab, that Alys acknowledged to herself that she wasn’t just feeling jealous of Hannah because of her travels and lifestyle. It was the evident fascination she had for Rob that she found so galling. During that evenin
g, she’d noticed the ease with which Hannah related to Rob, the way they laughed and joked as if they’d known each other for years. Alys had found herself growing more stiffly formal by the minute, contrasting herself unfavourably with Hannah, so-called sisters or not. The green-eyed monster had climbed back out of his box, but Alys really hoped she’d kept him on a leash so tight that no one there would have suspected. She’d had to move away and chat to another group, huddled under the warm arc of the patio heater as the temperature cooled rapidly under clear late-September skies. At one point, as her eyes strayed back to Rob and Hannah, now convulsed over some shared joke, she’d been aware of a pair of eyes on her, and had turned to catch Moira watching her with a quizzical expression on her face. Embarrassed, she’d felt her face flush and had moved away from the heater, suggesting to Hannah that it was time they made a move.

  ‘You dark horse, you,’ Hannah murmured sleepily in the back of the cab. ‘No wonder you kept Rob all to yourself. He’s gorgeous.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ Alys glanced nervously at their cab driver to see if he was listening. Locals loved a bit of juicy gossip.

  ‘Like I said, he’s lovely. And obviously smitten with you. He spent most of the time we were out asking me all about you. Lucky that I’m settled with Matt or I might have been rather put out that he wasn’t attracted by my overwhelming charm.’ She giggled. ‘Anyway, fight you for him if anything goes wrong between me and Matt.’