“Oh God, Elle,” he murmurs, pressing his body on top of mine. “Is this really happening?” I smile and nod my head. There are no stop signs or red lights for me. I’m not worried about jeopardizing our friendship with what is happening now. We’ve been through so much together over the years. This won’t change anything. Or will it? Stop. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Is this what you want? Revenge! Stop! I do want this. We want this.
The voices are dueling in my head. I kiss him back with all I have.
I want Tyler. You don’t know what you want. I need Tyler.
I close my eyes to kill the voices in my head. I kiss Tyler harder, pressing my body closer to him and feeling him grind against me. This chases away the voices. Gone.
His lips hover over mine for a few seconds, and then he teases my bottom lip with his tongue. I let out a soft moan. When he kisses me again, it becomes fuller and more passionate. Pushing my breasts toward his chest, I tangle my fingers in his hair as I feel his gentle, attentive hands caress my body. He palms my breast, assaulting it by rolling my nipple between his thumb and forefinger. I shift beneath him to try to ease the intense ache that is building, but the cravings are so strong. His touch is smooth and tender like I’ve always imagined it to be.
He smells so good.
I feel the heat of his breath as he kisses my neck.
He feels so good.
I wrap my legs around his waist as he continues to grind against me. Our bodies are in perfect sync. I stop long enough to look directly into his desire-filled eyes. He smiles impishly, admiring me as he gently traces the curves of my body with his finger from my hip to my ribs and then lightly over my breasts.
“Cross the line, always mine,” he breathes, placing a gentle kiss onto the swell of my breast. His voice is smooth and reassuring, and his breath is warm on my skin.
I giggle and tug him down over me, placing my hands on his cheeks. “You didn’t just go there.”
“Yes. Yes, I think I did,” he murmurs over my lips. “Is that okay?”
“Crossing the line will not change anything. Will it?” I ask innocently.
“No, it won’t,” he replies and returns his lips to my neck.
You are my kryptonite.
Where did that come from?
Looking away, I place my focus on the blank wall and shake my head. Tyler pulls away and meets my eyes.
I can’t explain what you do to me, but now that there’s this distance between us, I know. You’re it for me.
Crap. He’s invading my thoughts. Is this how life is going to be for me now?
“What are you thinking about?” Tyler interrupts my wayward thoughts. “Are you still feeling sick?”
He’s so beautiful and good to me. I would be good to him. I saw Reed tonight with another girl. I don’t have to play his game; I can’t. My mind is a mess, and I need to calm down.
“Yes,” I say, trying to regain my train of thought. Tyler. I smile. He always makes me smile.
“Hey, we don’t have to do this. I mean...” he teases, grinning as his eyes caress my body. “You make it hard not to want to cross that line.”
I tighten my lips, trying to stifle a laugh. “The phrase?”
“Yes, Elle. The phrase,” he replies in mock amusement and lies next to me. He brushes away the hair from my face and kisses me. “You’re right. No matter how much I dream about crossing that line and how fucking amazing it would be, I don’t need to cross it to know that you are and will always be mine. No matter what.”
I can’t even put into fucking words what I felt when I saw her. Instantly, my whole pathetic world was worth living again. When I spun around and my eyes landed on her, she was the only person I saw. She was the light in the room. Fuck. The timing was all wrong. That’s the story of my fucking life. I wanted to talk to her, but I understand her pain. I do. Her words stung and blew a hole in my chest.
I couldn’t do a damn thing to comfort her. I was the last person she expected to see. The pain was so clear, vivid and intense in her eyes. I could only watch her walk out the door to Tyler. To fucking Tyler again. I’m so fucking confused. This shit is not making any sense. Is she with him or not? And what the hell happened between Sierra and her? There is definitely some shit that I don’t know about. One thing is for sure; they’re not friends. My head meets the back of the booth as Sierra slips into the seat across from me and smiles.
I needed to get out of there, so we headed to Lansdowne Pub so I could clear my mind. I could have hopped into my Hummer and followed them home to find out where she lives, but I know she needs time before she will listen to me. From the way she sounded, she doesn’t ever want to see me again.
I peek over at Sierra who’s digging through her purse and pulling out her phone.
“How do you know Elle?” To break the silence, I throw out the question that’s burning a hole in my brain.
“How do you know Elle?” She lifts her eyebrow, leans back and crosses her arms over her chest, answering my question with a question. I fucking hate that.
“Fuck, I don’t have time for games. Just tell me,” I say, leaning forward over the table. She frowns, lowering her hands to her sides and leans forward. Her intense brown eyes meet my gaze. She has some balls.
“What is it about her that guys like so much? I don’t get it.” She retorts, eyeing me curiously.
“What is with you and fucking avoiding my question?”
“Why do you like her? Did you date her or something?” She stops talking and throws me a pointed look. “Does she know about us?” she asks, leaning her elbows on the table and plumping up her breasts which threaten to spill out of her tiny top.
I impatiently rake my hands through my hair. I wish she would fucking answer my simple question. Why do some chicks have to make things so complicated?
“That was before I met her.” I lean back, scrubbing my hands over my face.
“You really want to know?” She tilts her head to the side and toys with her earring.
“Yeah,” I reply, trying to keep my frustration in check as I look up at her.
“I had a thing for her boyfriend.”
“Cane? You?” Blinking, I sit up straight and study her. “What the fuck?”
“Yes,” she replies. “Why do you sound surprised? Do you know Cane?”
“I worked with him.” I scratch my head in frustration, thinking how fucked up this is. “Is Cane the ex-boyfriend you couldn’t get over, and Elle is the other girl?”
“Yes, I loved Cane.” She sounds irritated, but her eyes are saying something else. She’s still hurting, and there’s nothing she can do to fix it. I know how that feels.
“So, Elle cheated with Cane?” I interrupt, intrigued by her story and trying to fill in the missing pieces as she tells me more.
“No, Cane and I were already broken up when they met. I wasn’t over him, so I broke them up.” She exhales loudly, waving her hand dismissively before leaning back and looking accomplished.
Taken aback by her revelation, I raise an eyebrow and respond, “Shit.” This can’t get any crazier. I need a fucking drink. I rise from the booth and head to the bar to order a beer and a shot. I fucking can’t imagine the shit that was running through Elle’s head when she saw me standing with Sierra. This looks bad for me no matter which fucking way I look at it. First, I disappear on her, and when she sees me after two months, I’m hanging out with the girl that ended her relationship with Cane.
I feel Sierra slide up next to me at the bar as the bartender places my beer and shot in front of me. The rage is blinding. I fucking slam my hand against the bar top, causing Sierra to flinch and take a step back from me.
“Why are you so fucking angry?” she snips, frustration written all over her face.
After grabbing the shot and throwing it down, I calmly set the empty glass onto the bar and glance at her. This chick is clueless. I don’t want to be an asshole to her, but I don’t want her getting in the fucking way of me fi
xing what I have with Elle. I can make other friends or maybe lose all the ones I’ve got since they seem to be linked to Elle in some way.
“Listen,” I say, containing the rage that is brewing inside. “This shit here,” I point my finger between her and me, “means nothing.” I blow out a harsh breath, and I wonder if it’s already too late.
I know it’s not her fault as I watch a pained expression pass her features. My previous lifestyle got me here, but I’ve changed. From what Elle saw tonight, she thinks otherwise.
“You have a thing for her?” She plays with the necklace around her neck and squints her eyes. “Elle’s the girl you fucked up with and can’t get over?”
“That doesn’t fucking matter.”
“You don’t have to confirm it. I know it,” she says as she waves down the bartender and turns her back to me. “It doesn’t matter to me either way. You want Elle like I want Cane, but we screwed up, and now they want nothing to do with us,” she says confidently while flipping her hair. She glances up at me with a withering stare.
“Speak for yourself,” I say, taking a pull of my beer. “I just know this friendship doesn’t go anywhere. Shit, it may have to end here,” I finally say as my gaze meets hers once more.
“Isn’t that a little drastic? Giving up friends to try to win someone back,” she retorts with a cynical smile.
“I’d fucking give up everything for her.”
She grabs the beer the bartender slides in front of her and takes a sip, examining me like I’m like some kind of experiment or project she wants to take on.
“Maybe we can work out something,” she suggests, twirling the beer on the bar top.
Fuck. I don’t like where this conversation is going. I don’t want any help if that’s what she’s offering. I’m a man and can fix my own problems. Although at this point in time, it looks like I just dug myself into a bigger fucking hole. Maybe I just need to hear her out.
“I’ll listen, but it doesn’t mean I’m down with whatever you propose,” I say, finishing off my beer. I could use another option just in case my plan fails, whatever that plan may be. I have to be smart about this. Fuck. What if nothing works out? The anger in Elle’s voice was evident. I could taste it and feel it. I fucking hurt her, and there is no taking it back.
“I can try to talk to Elle. Maybe it will soften her up.” She lifts an eyebrow and takes a step closer to me.
“How is that going to help me? You cheated with Cane,” I grumble, crossing my arms over my chest.
“That’s not the whole story.” She inhales, and her eyes glisten. “I understand what she’s going through. You have to trust me,” she declares, poking her finger in my chest. “Do you love her?”
I swallow painfully as my heart leaps into my throat. Turning to the bartender, I order another beer. “Yeah,” I reply. Fucking wonderful. Sierra finds out I love Elle before I even get the chance to speak the words to her.
“You’d do anything to get her back...right?” Her voice rises, and she smiles crookedly.
“Pretty much,” I reply. Now she knows my ultimate weakness, my Achilles heel.
“Then work with me, and we both can get what we want.” She jerks her chin boldly up at me.
I grimace, running my hand through my hair. Grabbing the beer, I ponder her offer for a minute and reluctantly respond. “Fine, but if there is any sign that shit is not going where I want it to go, we go our separate ways.”
“Fine,” she replies assuredly, grabbing the beer from my hand. “You’re gonna like being my friend.”
Sleepless nights equal fucking dreamless nights, and that’s fine with me because every damn waking moment is just as bad. Seeing her tonight is going to eat at me until I get to her. I get out of bed, grab my phone from the dresser and stare at her number. I can call her. I still have her number, but I know she won’t answer. I mean, that’s the worst thing she can do is not answer. Right? Then again, maybe she might, but not at one in the morning. I should just call her, but I won’t. I’m being a pussy. I trudge toward the kitchen to grab something to drink only to be surprised to see that Luke is up watching Sportscenter.
“Yo, bro. Can’t sleep?” Luke yawns from the couch, throwing his arm behind his head. “I saw that you and Sierra were getting a little cozy at the bar tonight.” He chuckles. “I thought you wanted nothing to do with that sweet piece of ass.”
“Stop giving me shit.” I’m not in the mood to hear his crap. “I don’t. If I did, she would be in my bedroom with me and I wouldn’t be talking to you,” I argue, leaning against the counter. “What happened to your sweet piece of ass?”
“Dude, I needed a night off from all my extracurricular activities.” He fights back another yawn. “Seriously, though, I’m thinking you may have to go with that ass considering the reaction you got from Elle tonight. Damn, she’s no joke!”
“Fuck, give me a break, Luke,” I growl. “Whose fucking side are you on anyway?”
“Yours all the way, man. After tonight and seeing her like that, you have a fucking major mountain to climb,” he confirms, stretching his arms over his head. Sometime I wish my life was as simple as his. It used to be.
“You know what you need?” he asks, unable to fight the grin ripping across his face.
Oh, fuck. I rub my face impatiently. What kind of shit does he have in mind now? I look up, raising an eyebrow at my crazy ass roommate. I never can guess what kind of shit he has in mind. There are no Dr. Phil moments here because it’s more like an episode of Jerry Springer ready to be played out on national television.
“I need to take you to a strip club.” He deadpans.
I don’t even flinch at his suggestion since I’ve become used to his well-thought-out plans to help me with my relationship with Elle.
“Yeah, that’s what I fucking need. To get busted slipping bills into some girl’s G-string after she gives me a lap dance.” I chuckle, shaking my head at him.
“Shit.” He laughs. “This chick, Elle... I can tell she would never step into a place like that. She’s not that kind of girl.” Rising from the couch, he heads into the kitchen and grabs a package of chocolate chip cookies from the cabinet.
“Knowing my fucking luck, someone would shoot a video of me doing something compromising and she’d see it on YouTube,” I counter.
“What are the chances of that shit happening?” he replies, shoving half a cookie into his mouth.
“I don’t know where you come up with this shit, man.” I pace back and forth in the living room while scratching my head.
“What happened to the fucking stud that moved into this apartment three months ago? You had chicks lining up at the door. You had a nice little thing going for a bit. I was kinda jealous for a minute.”
“Dude, you make me sound like a pimp.”
“Glass Slipper and Centerfolds.” Talking with his mouth full, he slaps me on the shoulder. “Done deal.”
“What the hell is that?” I snap my head up in his direction.
“The place we’re going to get you out of this slump,” he replies with a wink.
“Not now.” Why the fuck am I even entertaining this idea?
“Have I ever steered you wrong? Have you gotten busted?” He raises an eyebrow, waiting intolerantly for my reply. “Well?”
“No. Not yet.” I furrow my brow at my roommate who’s standing in the kitchen doing a number on the bag of cookies.
“Fuck, we need to change this attitude of yours. Are you fucking twenty-five or forty-five? You still need to live. This shit is normal. Married dudes get off on this shit.”
“Yeah, I can live...but...”
“But, nothing. End of conversation,” he says. Grabbing another cookie, he waves it in front of me. “You’re gonna thank me later, motherfucker.”
I frown and grab a bottled water from the fridge. I can’t help but laugh, thinking about the two people who’ve volunteered to help me. I’m just as crazy as they are for even agreeing with their pl
ans. I don’t know what Sierra has in mind, but whatever it is, having her on my side is all I’ve got. So, why do I get this uneasy feeling about the whole damn thing?
I turn off the damn television a few minutes after Luke called it a night. I don’t even know what the hell I was watching. Jimmy Kimmel, Conan, whatever. None of their shit makes me laugh anyway. I don’t find humor in shit these days. I toss the remote onto the sofa, lifting my tired body to go to bed when I hear knocking at the door. Who would be here at this time? Rubbing my eyes, I head to the door to see who it is. I wish we had a damn peephole for situations like this. I shouldn’t answer the door in my boxers. Oh, fuck it.
“Who is it?”
I get no response. Whoever it is just taps the door softly again. Scenarios run through my mind. Could Jerry be in town to give me a not-so-friendly reminder about our deal? Shit. I scratch my head, wondering what I should do. If it were Jerry, he wouldn’t tap on my door. He’d bang it down. I ask again.
“Who is it?”
This time I get an answer. I can’t open the door fast enough when I hear her voice. I’m fucking hard as a rock by the time I put my hand on the knob and throw open the door. I rub both my eyes to make sure that it’s her. It is. My dick and my heart ache for her. I’m a fucking mess. I don’t know what to do first.
“Can I come in?” she asks shyly. Fuck. She’s so damn sexy with her long, windswept hair framing her face. She lifts her eyes to mine as she winds a piece of hair around her finger.
“Yes.” I inhale, staring as I step aside to let her inside my apartment. She remains still as I move closer to her to shut the door. She smells like vanilla. My heart just blew up, and my dick just jumped. I want to get my hands on her so bad. When I look down at her, I notice she’s wearing black leggings and a black windbreaker. I wish she were naked in front of me.
“How are you?” I ask as my voice wavers. I’m shocked that she’s standing in front of me.
Wanting Reed (Break Me) BOOK 2 Page 13
