“Just pretend you’re wearing your bathing suit,” he says from the bedroom.
“Easy for you to say.” I laugh as I slip on a pair of black Victoria’s Secret cheekies and matching black lace bra. It’s a bathing suit. You’re taking pictures and helping him out. I try to shove my breasts back into my demi bra, but that’s futile since the bra’s job is to make your breasts runneth over.
“I’ve seen it all before.”
“Is that why you took up photography? To get women in the bedroom?” I say mockingly from the bathroom.
“I keep business separate from pleasure, and I don’t need my photography to get anyone in my bedroom,” he teases, lifting his pristine blue eyes from behind the lens of the camera. “Sometimes...” He swallows as he watches me shyly walk out of the bathroom towards the bed.
“Is this bathing suit good enough?” I ask.
“I would...say so,” he stammers, trying to adjust the focus on his camera and failing miserably.
“So, what do you want me to do?” I laugh nervously and twist my hair as I stand over the bed.
He steps away from the camera and makes his way toward me confidently. It makes me less nervous knowing that he’s done this a million times. I try to picture myself as a Victoria’s Secret model and laugh out loud.
“What’s so funny?”
“I’m just trying to get into character.”
“You’ll do just fine,” he says as he pushes my hair behind my neck and his eyes connect with mine. “I want you to lie across the bed. Face me with your hand behind your head and play with your hair. I will focus on the waist up for the first couple of shots, and the other shots will be your full body and then we should be done.” He drops his eyes. “Unfortunately.”
“Perv.” I laugh as I gently poke a finger in his chest. He grabs my wrist and steps closer to me. His shirt gently brushes against my skin.
“These pictures are going to be stunning. My best work to date, and it’s all because of you,” he murmurs. His breath and hand touching my skin make the blood in my veins run warmer, and my body tenses with want. I can’t want. I can’t be greedy.
“What do I get in return?” I tease, feeling at ease with him.
“Well...” He pauses. “I had a few things in mind, but I’m going to keep it clean.”
“Hey!” I slap him on the shoulder.
“Yeah, I know.” He shakes his head and rubs his face with his hand in mock frustration. “I’m trying hard not to let my mind stray, but I kind of knew this would happen.”
“Great.”
“Music helps. Do you have a radio?” He quirks an eyebrow while glancing around the room.
“Yes, right behind you on my dresser,” I tell him.
“Okay,” he says as he turns on the radio. “Let’s roll,” he exclaims, positioning himself behind the camera.
I lie across the bed with Chad’s eyes focused on me as I maneuver around and position myself just like he suggested. At one point, he stops to pose me on the bed as I hear the door slam and the sound of Tyler’s voice calling my name over the music. Chad looks over at me, unable to rise fast enough from the edge of the bed where his hand is resting on my calf.
This just looks bad all the way around. As I lift my eyes toward the door, I notice Tyler standing in the entryway looking pissed. I sit up and throw a pillow in front of my body as Chad rises from his crouching position and slips his hand from my leg. Sign of guilt? Maybe? No. Just a knee-jerk reaction?
“What the fuck is going on?” He stalks toward Chad and that’s when I jump from the bed and come between them.
“I’m helping him.”
“Helping him get a hard-on?” Tyler fumes. Grabbing my hand, he yanks me up from the bed. I pull away from his grasp and look up at him. His eyes burrow into Chad’s face.
“Chad is a photographer. I’m helping him with an assignment.”
“Sorry. I didn’t know,” Chad replies, scratching his forehead in confusion. His shiny, blonde hair falls across his forehead.
“Know what?” I ask, peeking at Chad.
“That you had a boyfriend.”
“I don’t,” I reply. I hate hearing those words come out of my mouth. Something in Tyler’s face and body language changes. I feel awful, like I’ve betrayed him.
“Shit, yeah, I’m not. That’s right,” he huffs. “Why don’t you continue what you were doing here?” He’s livid. As he turns to leave, I grab his arm and tug him back.
“Tyler, stop,” I whisper harshly. His breathing slows considerably, and his body gradually relaxes as he glances down at me, but I still sense his tension
“I’m done. I have enough pictures,” Chad says as he picks up his backdrops and camera. “Thanks, Elle.” He glances between Tyler and me as he places the camera around his neck.
“You’re welcome.”
“I’ll let you know when the pictures are ready.” He smiles meekly.
Grabbing the sheet off the bed to cover myself, I follow Chad out of my bedroom and turn to Tyler, pointing for him to stay put. He creases his brow and looks away in frustration, his perfect mouth a tight straight line. Five minutes after Chad leaves, I compose myself and return to the bedroom. Tyler is now sitting on the edge of the bed with his head down, raking his hands through his thick, brown hair.
“Okay,” I reply as I fold the sheet and put it on the dresser. Tyler lifts his head, and his eyes soak each inch of me before he connects with my eyes. “Little jealous, are we?”
“What are you doing wearing that in front of another guy?” he replies incredulously, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.
“Why, you don’t like it?”
“Here we go with the stupid questions,” he replies, trying to fight back a smile. “Lately something has been different about you, Elle.”
“Yeah...” I smile flirtatiously, stepping closer so that I’m standing in front of him. “Is that a bad thing?”
He lifts his chin, biting the inside of his mouth as he reaches for my waist. “You’re beautiful,” he whispers, pulling me down onto his lap.
“And you’re still sappy and overprotective,” I giggle, running my fingers through his hair.
“Sappy? That doesn’t sound attractive.”
“Sexy?” I whisper, tilting my head to the side.
“Better,” he replies, leaning closer to me. His hands slips down my waist to my hip.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I glance down at his hand and place mine on top of his.
“I get carried away when I’m around you already, but when you’re dressed like this...”
“What?” I reply innocently.
“Lots of inappropriate thoughts,” he whispers, grazing his nose across my cheek.
“Was this why you stopped over?” I breathe, smelling his cologne and his crisp, minty breath.
“No...yes...I forgot.” He inhales deeply, and his lips hover over mine. I pull in closer as his hand slides down to my thigh. “I wanted to take you for a ride on my bike, but we can stay here if you want.”
I revel in the look in his eyes. Rising from his lap, I playfully push him onto the bed and stand between his legs with my hands on my hips.
“You know how I feel about your bike.”
“Hey. Hey, I’m good either way,” he answers. Grabbing my hand, he pulls me on top of him. “I think I like you better on top of me rather than sitting behind me.”
I giggle as Tyler wraps his arms around me. I need my friend right now. Is that what we are? I don’t know exactly what we are anymore. There are brief moments when I question what I’m doing with him. Am I looking for a temporary escape from my pain, or do I truly want more with Tyler?
I tried to make an attempt to reach out to Reed, but he disappointed me. I put myself out there again only to be disillusioned. In the back of my mind, I still believe everything he told me. The last thing I want to do is use or hurt Tyler because I am still heartbroken over Reed. The feelings for Ty
ler are there, but I’m unsure if they are for all the right reasons. I squeeze Tyler back, resting my head against his chest and feeling his heart thrumming against my cheek. I don’t want to break his heart as I’m trying to mend mine.
“Ya know what?” I say.
“What?” He looks down at me and brushes the hair away from my face.
“Let’s go out.”
“Aww...” He frowns. “I was really enjoying this.”
“I’m sure you were,” I reply, rolling over and leaning on my elbow. “Let’s take the bike for a spin and go have a beer.”
“Are you sure about that? I mean, you said you didn’t like my bike before.” He smiles mischievously, throwing his hand behind his head.
“You’re relentless,” I say, jabbing him lightly in the chest before I rise from the bed. “You can’t make up your mind about anything, can you?”
“Well... just one thing,” he answers with a wink.
I wake up starving the next morning. I could go for anything. I just hope we have something. I check the cupboards and find a box of Bisquick and Lucky Charms. I’m not in the mood for either one, but a man has to eat. I laugh as soon as I open the door to the fridge. I have none of the ingredients to make pancakes or even milk for a bowl of those damn Lucky Charms. There’s nothing but a couple of beers, a stick of butter and a loaf of moldy bread. I haven’t had to buy groceries since I’ve been back. I’ve survived until now on take-out and the basics, but I think it’s a good time to restock.
The last memory of me cooking anything was when I tried to make French toast for Elle. She wanted me for breakfast instead, and I gave her what she wanted. I get a hard-on thinking about how I had her ass up on the counter and her legs wrapped around my waist. I adjust myself and head to the bathroom. Time for a shower, and then I’ll head out for groceries.
Elle has not returned my phone call. Something backfires every time I try to reach out to her, and this one incident could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Of all the fucking nights to turn off my phone, it just happens to be the one time she reaches out to me, and I don’t have my fucking phone on me. I’ve learned my lesson now. My phone is always fully juiced on vibrate with the ringer volume set on loud. There’s no way in hell I’m missing another one of her calls.
I drive down Beacon Street and stop at a small grocery store. I hate large grocery stores that are stocked with too many items. I already have a hard time trying to figure out what I want. With fewer choices to make, the quicker I can get out of here. I head straight to the bakery and pick up a couple of loaves of bread, cookies and muffins and throw them into my basket and walk over to the meat counter to grab a couple of steaks. I don’t know how to cook anything fancy, but I sure know how to cook a good steak. I grab a few other things to throw on the grill and make my way to the toiletry section to pick up a new razor and some shaving cream. My hair is longer, and my scruff has gotten out of hand. I know Elle loves it, but I’m no closer to her. If shit continues at this pace, I’m gonna look like one of the players on the Boston Red Sox bench. I just need a little trim.
If someone had told me my luck was going to change soon, I wouldn’t fucking believe them. My life lately has been nothing more than a shitload of missteps. Today is no different. I’m always running right smack into my shady beginnings in Boston. My past trysts are coming to haunt me. Shit. I try to turn around unnoticed but it’s too late. She’s already spotted me in the aisle as she turns from the pharmacy counter.
Mindy.
“Hey, stranger,” she says flirtatiously, putting away her bag. She tosses her purse over her shoulder and sways her hips as she walks toward me. I wonder if she practices her walk or she was just born this way. “I haven’t seen you in a few. Where have you been?” She smiles, flipping the hair off her shoulder.
“Hey,” I say, grabbing a razor and a can of shaving cream and dropping them into my basket. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her during the day. It’s always been in dark places. I guess it’s good in a way. She still looks decent but different to me, and I can’t quite place what it is. Maybe it’s the fact that she is wearing more clothes. She’s just another memory I have to shove back into the deepest part of my brain. I hate how things creep up on me like this, but she was before I fell for Elle. Looking back and getting glimpses of my old life like this make me cringe. We always learn from our mistakes. Well, most people anyway. Me? I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.
“Someone hungry?” she giggles, glancing at my basket full of groceries.
“Yeah, I’m restocking and trying to brush up on my culinary skills while I’m at it,” I utter, thinking of Elle and the damn French toast again. Fuck.
“A guy who can cook is always a plus.” She smiles, looking up from my groceries. “I haven’t seen you out lately. The girls are going out next week. I hope you’re okay with Elle going with us. Things can get kind of crazy.” She lifts her eyebrows.
I tense and avert my gaze. Now the conversation is going in a direction I don’t want it to. I knit my brow and grab some toothpaste and mouthwash, even though I don’t need any, to stall and devise a halfway believable response. “Yeah,” I answer, keeping my expression smooth. “I’m running late.” I glance at my watch, trying to avoid answering a question that I can’t, but want to if Elle were mine. She’s not. “I’ve got to get up to the other side of town and get this stuff back to the apartment.” My eyes dart to the check out. “It was nice catching up with you.”
“Same here, Reed,” she coos, letting out a small laugh.
I can feel her eyes on my back while I walk away, like there’s more she wanted to tell me. I don’t want to stay to find out. If it’s something about Elle and some other fucking guy, I’d rather not know.
On my way to my apartment, I order some take-out, a burger with the works from Tasty Burger. After seeing Mindy, I lost my desire and motivation to cook. I grab a beer from the fridge and crash on the sofa and surf through the channels, trying not to think too much as I unwrap my burger and take a few bites. I really need someone to talk to. It’s been a bit since I’ve talked to Tommy, so I grab my cell and dial his number. He picks up on the second ring with Cooper barking in the background and the sound of his feet hitting the pavement. I suddenly miss home.
“Hey, bro. Your timing couldn’t be more fucked up. I’m taking Coop for a little walk, and I’m in the middle of picking up his shit,” he jokes. “Your dog is worse than a damn baby, man.”
“What the hell do you know about babies?” I kid, popping a fry into my mouth.
“Nothing, I just heard it through the grapevine that babies can really stink shit up.” He chuckles.
“This is good practice for when you have one of your own.”
“Uh... huh, man,” he replies without hesitation. “Not anytime soon.”
“Why not? I’m itching to be an uncle,” I confirm. Since it looks like I’m not gonna have any of my own anytime soon.
“Dude, we’re going off on a tangent here. We made a deal about taking care of your pup and nothing else,” he stutters, clearly nervous about having kids and being a daddy, and it makes me smile picturing him and my sister having a baby.
“That’s right, so stop complaining. If you want those season tickets, you’ve got to pay your dues.” I laugh, leaning back on the couch. I’m more than psyched about my chances of getting to the NFL. Practicing with the BC Eagles has been a major help in getting me back into physical shape. My arm is good, and there’s no issue with my knee anymore, so I registered for tryouts in Baltimore in March. Things are really starting to fall into place for me on that end.
“You don’t have to tell me twice. If all I have to do is pick up dog shit to sit on the sidelines every Sunday, then bring me a shovel and pail.” He snorts. “So, what do I owe this surprise? It took you long enough to call.”
“Yeah, I’m just getting settled in. With my job and classes, I don’t spend too much time at home.”
“I hear that. Hold that thought.” He breaks, covering the phone.
“Sure,” I utter.
I listen as he yells for Cooper to get out of someone’s bushes, taking me back to an early memory of Elle and how she told me that she likes Jack Russell Terriers. I can’t forget a damn thing when it comes to her.
“What’s up?” he asks, returning to the phone.
I groan, rubbing my hands over my face. “This shit is eating me.”
“The thing with Elle?” he instantly answers.
“I’m trying to fix it, but it seems like everything I do just blows up.”
“If it were meant to be, it’ll happen. I’m not a marriage counselor or anything like that, but if you love her like you say you do, then do whatever you have to do to win her back.”
“I want what you and Juju have. That’s what I could have had with Elle if I hadn’t fucked it up.” I drop my head and stare at the floor.
“Then fix it, man. If she means that much to you, fix it.”
I grab my beer and take a long pull and stare across the room, trying to think of another way to reach out to her without pushing her further away but nothing comes to mind. “It’s easier said than done.”
“You’re quitting before you even started, man. Do I have to come out there and slap some sense into you?”
“Maybe.” I laugh. “I need some family up here. I don’t have too many friends right now. I could use some moral support.”
“Shit, your sister has been nagging me to fly out there. Maybe we should. I can take some time off from the job, and I know Juju’s got some time coming.”
“Then do it. I’m not going anywhere.” I begin to feel a little more at ease knowing I can count on Tommy.
“Done deal. I’ll let you know the dates after I talk to your sis.”
Wanting Reed (Break Me) BOOK 2 Page 18
