I head out into the living room where Elle’s sifting through an enormous pile of junk mail wearing a red cami and red silk shorts. She’s killing me with the red. She pulls out a large envelope when I settle in next to her on the couch. After scanning the address, she places the envelope onto her lap, leans back against the couch and closes her eyes.
“What’s that?”
“It’s another interview for medical school.”
“Where?” I ask, picking up the envelope. My stomach instantly twists into a knot. This is what she was worried about earlier.
“Florida.”
“Haven’t you already decided on Texas?” I inquire, trying to sound calm, but I’m anything but. This will make matters worse for her, harder for her to decide or maybe not. Maybe she’s just having a moment of indecision, and she’s not changing her mind. It can go either way. I can’t say anything because it’s her decision to make.
“You know what I really want right now?” Her words come out barely above a whisper.
“Me?” I whisper back to her, kissing the nape of her neck.
“Tempting.” She smirks as I kiss up to her lips. “But, I could really go for some hot cocoa, and I’ve been dying to use the fireplace.”
“Sure,” I answer in agreement. I want to do what she wants, but I don’t want to leave the warmth of her lips and her skin as I reluctantly rise from the couch. I start the hot water on the stove and the fire in the fireplace while she reads the contents of the letter. Her expression is indecipherable, and there’s tension in her shoulders as she sets the papers down onto the coffee table. She continues staring at the pile of papers when I hand her the mug of hot cocoa. She doesn’t speak for a couple of minutes, taking a sip of her cocoa and scrunching her face before glancing over at me.
“You forgot the fluff.” She giggles.
“What the fuck is fluff?” I ask, scratching my head.
“Really?” she replies incredulously, jumping off the couch. I watch as she makes her way into the kitchen in those damn red silk shorts. She stretches over the counter, allowing me an amazing view of her body as she grabs a big white tub from the top shelf in the cabinet. She returns, pulling off the lid and throwing a spoonful on top of her cocoa.
“Fluff!” she exclaims. Picking up the mug, she takes a long sip, leaving a white stripe above her lip. “You don’t know what you’re missing,” she moans as I watch her lick it off her lip. She’s got my full attention.
I can’t take another minute watching her; my dick is twitching. I’m thinking I need some of that white fluff. Fuck. I want it. “Show me what I’m missing then,” I growl, pulling the hair at the nape of my neck impatiently.
“Okay,” she teases, handing me the tub.
“No.” I shake my head, putting down the tub. “You drink, and I’ll kiss it off you,” I demand. Reaching for her, I wrap my arms around her hips and pull her close to me and kiss her exposed stomach.
“Oh...” She bites her bottom lip flirtatiously. She’s onto my game. If it tastes as good as she is making it look, I’ll take that whole tub and spread it all over her body.
I roll over and notice that Elle’s already out of bed. I groan, throwing my hands behind my head. I needed and wanted breakfast in bed. Elle, specifically. I’m wondering if she has more to give. I’m greedy when it comes to her, and I think I’m hooked on that fluff, too.
I hear the TV in the living room. The morning news is talking about a possible nor’easter on the way. What the hell is that? Some kind of holiday? It doesn’t sound good either way. I hop out of bed and throw on my sweats and rub my hands over the stubble that has grown on my face. It’s Friday, and I have to work tonight at the Middle East. I’d rather not. I snatch my vibrating phone on the dresser and notice a text from Luke. I swallow back the bile when I read it. Test results today. Are you ready to be a daddy? The pressure in my chest is unbearable. I glance in the mirror, noticing the fear mingled with shame in my eyes.
Fuck. Not now. I throw the phone onto the bed, leaving my troubles behind for a moment. I find her sitting on the couch with her legs up on the coffee table, sipping cocoa without fluff. We ran out after last night. Pulling her hair off her neck, I kiss her behind her ear, noticing that she’s looking at the medical school papers from Florida. “Morning, doll,” I say, breathing her in as she lifts her lips for me to kiss.
“Morning.”
“I think we need to take a shower soon because there might be fluff in places there shouldn’t be,” I whisper. Her closeness clouds my thoughts and heightens my senses as I lean in pressing my lips to her neck.
“Maybe.” She sighs deeply. I think she’s going to say more, but instead she falls quiet.
“Your whole body tenses when you’re over thinking,” I explain, scratching my head and rounding the couch to take a seat next to her. “What’s wrong?”
“I can’t put all my eggs into one basket.”
“About medical school?” She nods her head in response. “What happened to going to Texas?”
“It’s one of my choices, but I can’t just assume they’re going to take me. I need to look at all my options.”
I don’t reply or challenge her. I’m not sure if I can respond without sounding upset. I don’t want to seem selfish. This is her dream, and I can’t put my wishes first. I need her in my life, but if this is what she wants, I will support her. I’ve got my own fucking problem to worry about now.
“Hey, man.” I thrust my free hand through my hair. “I haven’t heard anything yet? Have you?” I ask, throwing my keys onto the couch.
“Nope, today though, for sure. Maybe contestant number three is the big winner.” Luke chuckles, tossing himself onto the couch.
“I hope so.”
“Where’s Elle?”
“She had to go to the center. Something last minute came,” I reply, heading to the fridge for a beer. “I guess we have to wait a little bit more to see which one of us is going to be going to Lamaze classes with blondie.”
“So, what are you gonna do if you...ya know... if you’re the father?” Luke asks, fidgeting with the pillow.
“What are you gonna do?” I answer his question with a question. I don’t have a fucking clue; I don’t want to think about it. I want to get out of here, but this is not the kind of thing that can go away. It’s a damn baby. After a few moments of masking my emotions, I gather my thoughts. The fact that I’m here in this predicament is my own fault though. I have to be responsible. “I’ll man up. If the baby is mine, I am going to give it the best chance. I won’t walk away.”
“Yeah...” Luke grimaces, pulling a hand up to grip the back of his neck. Confusion and uncertainty are etched on his face. “I hear you, man,” he mumbles. “How do you think Elle is going to handle it?” He poses the question in which I have no answer. We are two guys in a complicated situation.
“We’ll figure it out,” I say, taking a pull of my beer. “What about Mindy? Have you heard anything? Is she doing okay?”
“Fuck, don’t get me started with that shit!” he bellows, jumping from the couch and heading into the kitchen. “That crazy chick is texting me. I don’t even know how she got my number,” he informs me. Grabbing a bag of chips, he rips it open and shoves a handful into his mouth.
“Well, one of us is gonna be on speed dial really soon, and I pray to God it’s not me,” I say. “I’m gonna need a few more of these today,” I grit out, lifting my beer to my lips. I empty it, slamming it onto the counter and go for another.
“I hear you, bro. I hear you.” He stares at me, struggling with some unseen emotion as his jaw clenches tightly. He closes his eyes for a minute before looking back at me. “Dude, I’m not ready for this kind of shit in my life. Fuck,” he utters. “I...got shit to prove.”
“What do you mean?” I ask. Seeing Luke like this is throwing me for a loop. “Dude, do you want to talk about it?”
“Nah...I’m good,” he mutters subtly, shaking his head and looki
ng as if he’s trying to wrap his head around all of this. “Can you get me a beer, man? I’m not sure if can get through this day without a few.”
I arrive at the center as the annual toy drive is winding down. It’s held every year around the holidays, and it looks to have been a huge success. I missed it this year due to the interview that I had in Texas. I mingle with members and greet my coworkers that I haven’t seen in over a month before I head to the lounge to meet Jace. What is it that he has to tell me that he can’t tell me back at the house? The only time he comes here is to play basketball with Cane or to swim laps in the pool. Curiosity nips at my nerves as I walk in the direction of the lounge. This whole meeting has shady written all over it.
Tons of changes and updates have been made to the center since I’ve been out of commission. Old equipment, furniture and the sign out front have been replaced. Even the lounge has been redecorated with the walls painted red and new couches, which my handsome brother is currently reclining on with his feet kicked up on the coffee table.
“What’s this about?” I probe, looking at him in mock bewilderment from across the room as he flashes me a mischievous grin.
“Sheesh, where’s the love?” Jace laughs deeply, rising from the couch and holding out his arms to me. “Where’s my hug?” I giggle, dropping my bag onto the couch. I eagerly walk into his arms, wrapping mine around his slim waist and inhaling his fresh, clean scent. “You know it wasn’t the same without you during Thanksgiving,” he mumbles into my hair.
“I know.” I pull away, lifting my chin to look into my brother’s sparkling hazel eyes.
“I even rooted for the damn Cowboys for you!” he interjects. “And, they won. Ain’t that some shit? I don’t think Romo had an interception either.”
“Whatever.” I push against his chest, rolling my eyes at him.
“Did you get my sub?” he asks, turning to sit at the round card table.
“You’re lucky I love you,” I say, pulling out the paper sack from my bag.
“I know, right?” he exclaims, taking the sack from me and settling down at the table. He rips it open, unwraps his sandwich and bites into it. “How was Texas?” He talks between chews.
“Different.”
“It’s so far away.” He swallows. His voice is quiet, and he never breaks eye contact with me. “I can’t believe you’re thinking of leaving me.”
As I try to find the words, tears pool in my eyes at the thought, despite the smile on my face. “It’ll be fine.” I shrug, taking a deep breath. “Plus, it’s not final yet.”
“What do you mean?”
“I got an invitation to visit UCF Medical School in Orlando, Florida.”
“Shit, Elle, that’s a little better, but you’re still not here,” he admits, putting down his sub. “What does lover boy think about this?” He leans back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest.
“We haven’t really talked about it.”
“The clock is ticking,” he muses.
“I know.”
“Hey, guys.”
Familiar chills rake over my body at the sound of his voice. I frown at my brother who smirks at me in return. Shady just like I predicted. I bite on my lip and peek over my shoulder back at Cane. He appears content, considering he is on the chopping block and could possibly be the father of Mindy’s baby. His calm demeanor makes me nervous.
“Hi, Elle.” He grins as he pulls a chair back and takes the seat next to me. His chocolate brown eyes soak me in. “I asked Jace to call you here.” He nods at Jace and pulls up the sleeves of his gray T-shirt.
“Oh.” I turn to Jace and then back at Cane. “What’s this about?”
“I’m gonna leave you two guys alone.” Jace starts to rise from his seat.
“No, you can stay,” I say, grabbing his arm and motioning for him to sit as Cane nods in agreement.
“Fine.” He smiles, taking a bite of his sub. “If it starts to get loud, I’m out.”
Cane shifts his legs and leans back in the chair, transfixing me with his gaze. “Well, you know the whole thing with Mindy?” he asks with his brow furrowing.
“Sure.” I swallow, unsure of what I’d feel if he were to tell me he’s the father. What am I to think when he called me over like this?
“First off, I want to apologize for what happened with Sierra and Mindy.”
“Cane...” I begin to speak, but he cuts me off.
“Let me finish.” He runs his hand over his chin in contemplation while holding his eyes steady with mine. “Listen, Elle. Just know that no matter what happens, you can always count on me to be a friend, which makes having to tell you this even harder because I know it’s going to hurt like hell.” He looks over at Jace and then down at his hands before he lifts his eyes to mine. “I called you over because I got the call earlier today that my paternity test came back negative.”
Breathing suddenly becomes difficult for me. It’s like the air was sucked out of the room. I sigh shakily and put my head into my hands for the moment before scrubbing them over my face. I feel Jace’s hand on my back as he tries to comfort me, knowing what this news means to me.
“I’m sorry this is hurting you.” He blinks several times as if he sought to clear his vision.
“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. I knew this was coming.” I inhale a pained breath. “I just thought maybe I would take it a little bit better.”
“Elle,” Cane whispers, leaning forward and taking my hand in his. I look up at him through my lashes, fighting back the tears. “Are you okay?”
I notice in my periphery that Jace falls motionless. My heart skips a beat and lodges in my throat. I have to control the rush of feelings that flood through me from his words before they get the best of me.
“I’m fine.” I rise from the chair, the sensation of floating and falling overwhelms me as I move to leave. But, where do I go?
“Elle, let me take you home. You’re upset,” Jace says, grabbing my elbow to steady me.
“I’ll be fine,” I whisper, raising my eyes to meet his.
“You’re not,” Cane counters, blowing out a loud breath.
“Yes, I am.” I snap my head back to meet Cane’s eyes. My hopes seem to be crashing all around me. He just told me he’s not the father, which means there’s now a fifty percent chance Reed is. How the hell did my week start off so good only to be destroyed in a matter of seconds? Cane stands as if to comfort me, but I throw my bag over my shoulder and push his hands away. “No, Cane, don’t! You can’t just come back and think we’re okay! Right now I need to think about me and my future!” I shout as I storm out. Tears well in my eyes as my entire future that I thought I had planned may suddenly be completely altered and without Reed Austin in it.
The sun is setting, and the chill in the air bites at my skin. Trudging up the sidewalk to my apartment, I breathe and exhale. That does the trick for me right before an exam. This can be considered a test, a rather fucked-up kind of test of my resolve, patience, and love for Reed. How much more can I take? I’m not sure if I’m passing. It sure doesn’t feel like it. I’ve learned that in order to build strength there has to be a struggle. It may seem simple, but for me, it hasn’t been easy. I make my way up the front steps of my apartment, coiling my hair around my fatigued index finger. If Cane had a difficult time breaking the news to me, then breaking the news to Reed is going to be unpleasant to say the least. Now how do I start this rather shitty conversation?
Cane’s technique worked pretty well. It was blunt and to the point. There really was no need to beat around the bush. I dig into my bag and fish for my key. Some things are just unavoidable. I unlock and cautiously open the door to my quiet apartment preparing myself. Maybe he’s not here, and I can bury myself under my sheets and fall asleep to avoid it for a little while. Stop making excuses. I’m not going to crumble but stand my ground. This is my life, my future we’re talking about.
The hall light is on when I enter the apartment. I
slip off my coat and hang it inside the closet and drop my bag near the door. I approach the living room and see Reed standing in the kitchen. His head is down, and his hands are pressed against the counter. I stand for a moment and watch him. I admire the lines of his body, the rise and fall of his shoulders and the muscles in his arm when they flex as he grabs the nape of his neck in frustration. He shifts, muttering “fuck” before taking a pull of his beer and setting the bottle down harshly as he turns. His step is indecisive when he sees me standing in the dimly lit living room.
“Doll,” he murmurs with sincerity in his eyes. I stand frozen with my arms at my sides, and without a word, he walks over and grabs me, pulling me to his chest. I don’t have the strength to hug him back. If Reed notices my discomfort, he does not mention it.
“Did you hear anything?” I ask, pulling away and walking to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator. Why? Why can’t things be simple with him? Being with him is testing every emotion in me. I love him, and I need him despite all of it.
“No.” He stares at me, subtly shaking his head.
I twist the cap and look up at him before I take a sip of water. I shrug, trying to prevent my voice from breaking. “Cane is not the father.”
“What the fuck? Why would he tell you?” he seethes. He steps toward me, and I hold up my hand to halt him. Frustration and fear sweep across his face.
“It doesn’t matter who told me what. We all knew this was unavoidable, and we would find ourselves here, right? Another bad call on your part?” I counter harshly, knowing that the words burn when I see the pain in his eyes.
“I thought...”
“That was before, Reed,” I interrupt him. “This is now, and it’s real. No what ifs, this could be your future.”
Wanting Reed (Break Me) BOOK 2 Page 40
