by Julia Bell
“I bet,” giggled Anna, putting her cup down on the table. “Where is he, by the way?”
“Oh, he’s gone to tie up the daffs. He’s the gardener and handyman too, you know, as well as the chauffeur.”
“And what about the fourth and fifth?” asked Anna.
Mrs Wilby thought for a moment. “The fourth rang up to say he had had a better offer and we’re still waiting for the fifth! So, you could be in with a chance after all, my dear.”
Before Anna could reply, Sharon appeared. “Could you come back to the office please,” she said.
Anna tried to read her expression but it was obvious she wasn’t going to give anything away. She followed her once more across the hall and into the office, where Jason was leaning back in his chair, tapping his pen on the desk. His expression was serious as he told her to take her seat.
Anna sat down, her body calm, her thoughts quiet. She knew what was coming and she was ready for it.
“Well, Mrs Stevens. The job is yours,” said Jason without any preamble.
Anna stared at him. “I’m sorry, did you say I’d got the job?” she stammered.
“Yes, I did and I’m hoping you can start within the next few weeks. Sharon has agreed to spend time with you, teaching you the ropes and getting everything sorted out.” Turning his head, he directed his next remark to Sharon. “Has your father given you a date for starting?”
She shook her head. “No, he’s leaving it up to me, but it would be helpful if I could have a good five days in the office with Mrs Stevens.” She looked across at Anna and a smile spread across her face as she realised Anna’s utter bewilderment. “I think you’ve taken Mrs Stevens by surprise, Jason.”
“You’re offering me the job?” repeated Anna.
Jason laughed. “If you want the job, it’s yours.”
“But...I never expected!” Her voice faded as she glanced from Jason to Sharon and then back to Jason.
He shook his head in amusement. “Are you accepting the job or have you come all this way just to turn it down?”
“I’m sorry. What I mean is…I’d like the work very much. It’s just that your offer has come as…actually, I’m gobsmacked.” Her voice shook as she scanned the expression of the man sitting opposite her.
He threw her that disarming smile of his, understanding her confusion. “Well, Mrs Stevens…Anna. May I call you Anna?” She nodded. “I’m always delighted when I catch people unawares. But I’m sure you’ll do very well as my PA. Your work as a school secretary has given you the right experience. Of course, Sharon will have to train you in the way I want the office to run and we’ll have to sort out your references.” He glanced down at her CV again. “I see you’ve put down your referees as the headmistress at the school and your boss in the Prison Service.” Anna nodded again and he added, “So, when can we say you’ll start?”
“I must give four weeks’ notice,” she answered slowly. “The headmistress will be surprised but understanding. She knows my boys are going off to university in the autumn.”
“Good. Then let us know,” said Jason, a bright smile lighting up his face.
Anna nodded and murmured a soft, “Thank you.”
Jason rubbed his hands together as if he had just completed a satisfactory business deal and stood, holding out his hand. She took it reluctantly. “Good! Welcome to the family, Anna. I hope you’ll be happy with us. Now then, Sharon, where’s my damned briefcase!” Sharon jumped up, collected a black leather bag from the chair by the wall and placed it on his desk. He opened it with a sharp snap of the catches and started flinging in papers. He closed the case and picking up his mobile phone, attached it to his trouser belt. “Will you tell Ben I’m ready to leave for the airport.” Sharon left the office en route to the kitchen. Jason straightened his tie, all the time his eyes fixed on Anna’s white, pinched face. “Are you all right, Anna? You look pale.”
She shivered. “Do I? I suppose I must be in shock.”
He gave a jolly laugh. “Don’t worry. I’m sure we’ll work very well together. I’m not usually wrong about people. I’m a fairly good judge of character; I have to be in my line of work. Goodbye until I see you again.” He strode towards the door, but then stopped on the threshold and after a moment of consideration asked, “I know this is going to sound a bit of a cliché, but have we met before?”
Anna shook her head. “I don’t think so. It’s the first time I’ve been to this part of England.”
He smiled and left the room.
The quietness seemed to suffocate her. What had she done! Of all the idiotic things to do, to go and accept a job that was out of the question. Sharon returning interrupted her confused thoughts.
“Now then, Anna. Would you like to look round the house first and then have some lunch with Mrs Wilby and me? Ben will be back in about an hour and then he can take you to the station.”
The barrage of questions made her head throb.
“I’ll do whatever suits you,” she smiled.
Sharon looked round the office, her eyes filling with tears. “We really are like a family,” she sighed. “There isn’t any ‘them’ and ‘us’ to speak about. We all kind of pull together to get the work done. I’m going to miss everyone to be honest, but I’m going to work for my dad in Dublin. My fiancé, Aengus, wants us to get married this year as he’s fed up of waiting.”
Anna’s heart softened at her sad expression and she reached out to squeeze her hand.
Ben arrived back from the airport when they were halfway through their meal.
“Well, that’s got him away to London. Tell you something, you wouldn’t catch me going up in a helicopter. Bloody dangerous, I say!” He shook Anna’s hand and added, “By the way, welcome aboard.”
Later that afternoon, Anna left with Ben to catch the train home, opting to sit in the front seat this time and keeping up a friendly banter all through the journey. At the station, they said their goodbyes.
As Anna watched him drive away, she felt her heart break in two. She would never see him again, she was sure of that, just as she would never see Sharon or Mrs Wilby or Jason ever again. How a group of people could gain her friendship in so short a time she would never know, but it had happened.
If the journey to Bristol had been full of excitement, then the journey home couldn’t have been more melancholy. Anna sat with her head leaning against the window, her mind dull, her feelings torn. She would ring tomorrow and make some excuse. She was getting good at lying. Tears stung the back of her eyes, her mind spinning at how easily she had got herself into such a mess.
At the station, she caught a taxi and was relieved to arrive home. Turning the key, she stepped into the hallway, only to be greeted by the blast of heavy metal from the rooms above. She flung her jacket over the banister and climbed the stairs. In Christopher’s bedroom she came upon a scene which made her smile, even if the din was ear-splitting.
The boys were dancing about in a wild jig, tins of lager in their hands. Anna stepped across to the stereo and turned it down and then stared at them, her expression demanding an explanation.
“Sorry, Mum. Were we making too much noise?” said Martyn, his eyebrows raised in innocence. Anna grunted in reply. “We were just celebrating.”
“Celebrating what? You haven’t started your exams never mind getting the results.”
Christopher pulled a face. “We’re celebrating the fact our school days are over and after our ‘A’ levels it’s goodbye Wakefield.”
Anna found it difficult to swallow at the thought her boys were leaving home. “Well, I don’t mind a little fun, but keep the noise down. They can hear you in Doncaster.”
Martyn grinned and crossed the room to place his arm round his mother’s shoulder. “You’re going to miss us, aren’t you?”
Anna’s expression was one of complete indifference. “I certainly will not! Can’t wait for you to leave. The sooner you go, the sooner I’ll get a bit of peace and quiet.”
; Downstairs she headed for the kitchen. Hands wrapped round a cup of tea, she contemplated this extraordinary day. Now she was home, the interview seemed unreal, like a dream…or a nightmare. The opportunity would have been wonderful though. New place, new people, new experience. Never mind, she sighed, it was only an experiment after all. She thought of her boys. How was she going to manage without their presence, the house filled with their noise, their mess? After their exams they were off to Romania for a month on a life experience expedition organised by their school. They were to help out on a farm and in an orphanage and although they were travelling with a group of eight boys and girls, Anna knew that it would be a worrying time for her. Sighing in resignation she decided to have a long soak in the bath.
Dave arrived home later that night, smelling slightly of alcohol. He spoke hardly a dozen words, before falling exhausted into bed. Anna turned her back on him, angry that he had stopped at the pub when he had promised to come straight home after work. The guilt that had plagued her throughout the day began to lessen and as her eyes closed in sleep she thought of the folk in Bishop Sutton, of Jason Harrington and the life she could have if she could only muster the courage.
CHAPTER TWO
It was the day after her job interview that Anna decided to visit Elaine.
“So where were you all yesterday?” The question from her sister startled her.
Anna licked her lips. “Do you remember Susie Kimble? I used to run the playgroup with her?”
Elaine frowned. “Can’t say I do remember,” she said.
Anna eased herself onto the barstool and helped herself to a biscuit.
“She…She invited me to an Ann Summers’ party, but she lives in Bradford now so I made a day of it.”
“Buy anything interesting?” asked Elaine, trying to suppress a cheeky grin and failing miserably.
Anna shook her head. “No, I didn’t.” She gave a wry smile.
“You should have told me. I’d have come with you.”
“Didn’t think.” She paused before adding. “Would you have gone?”
“Certainly! It would have been interesting. Might have found something for me and Terry.” She winked. “There’s one thing about my Terry, he certainly knows how to push all the right buttons.”
Her confession caused Anna to purse her lips despondently. Dave had always had a selfish attitude to sex, never considering her feelings or desires. It had been the same story since that foolish night in the back of his mini nearly nineteen years ago. Anna wrinkled her nose at the memory, one night of carelessness and she had lurched from virgin to motherhood.
It wasn’t as though it had been pleasurable for her, it had been uncomfortable and over in five minutes. As they had quickly straightened their clothing afterwards, Dave had laughed at her embarrassment. They had been going out together just six months and she had never let him go all the way in their petting sessions, since in her inimitable way, she had always dreamed of a white wedding in the true sense of the meaning.
Anna sighed, remembering how 1977 had turned out to be a terrible year. They had married quickly, at her mother’s insistence. Anna winced at the memory of her mother’s harsh comments about the shame, the disappointment at having a daughter ‘in trouble’. The worst aspect was the ache she felt as her friends left to go to university or start careers. How could a moment of carelessness have ruined her future?
“Are you going to see that counsellor I recommended?” said Elaine, breaking into Anna’s melancholy thoughts.
“I don’t think so. Doesn’t seem to be any point.”
“Look Anna, I know you and Dave are still having problems. Please go and see her!”
“No, I’m not going to wash my dirty linen in public! We’ll sort ourselves out,” said Anna adamantly.
Elaine gave a resigned sigh. She always knew when she was beaten and decided to change the subject for the rest of Anna’s visit.
Anna drove home, her mind filled with conflicting emotions. She needed to ring Sharon, but as yet had done nothing about it. It was as if she was still hanging onto the dream, the hope of a better life. There was no denying that working for Jason Harrington would have been terrific experience, but it had come at the wrong time. How could she leave the boys just as they were sitting such important exams? She should be there to see them off to Romania. And when they returned, she wanted to be around when they collected their exam results, before their departure for university.
For all that she distrusted Dave, her husband worked hard in his career as a structural engineer, often called to meetings until the late evening and his success had meant a move for the family to the more affluent area of Sandal and to a house that even her mother admired. But she hadn’t thought married life would turn out like this. When the twins were placed in her arms she had smiled at them and made her plans. There was no reason why she couldn’t have it all, motherhood and a career. She would care for her boys and when the time was right she would go to university and get her degree. But the years had flown by and by the time she reached her thirties she had started to panic.
Elaine was right, she and Dave had had problems from the start of their marriage and it was senseless to say that everything was OK. For a while she had ignored the difficulties, concentrating on her plan to study at college and mastering typing and office administration, getting excellent grades. The certificate she had earned for all her hard work had filled her with a certain amount of satisfaction. Her work in the Prison Service had been satisfactory and her four years at the local primary as school secretary had been rewarding. But all she achieved, couldn’t erase the fact that her husband had a roving eye.
Sighing rebelliously, she pulled into the drive and jumped out of the car. She took the shopping from the boot and carried it into the house, dropping it onto the kitchen table. Pulling her tongue out at the pile of ironing, she started sorting the shopping before thrusting yet another load of washing into the machine.
As she waited for the kettle to boil, she reached inside her bag and pulled out the newspaper cutting. She had seen the job advert when the boys had finished school for the Easter holidays. Even now, reading it again, made her smile. The advert had appealed to her immediately, although she realised it was a long way to go for a job interview. It was after the third reading that Anna had had the crazy idea of applying. It would be an experiment. Not for one moment did she think she would get an interview, but that didn’t seem to matter at the time. All she wanted was to give it a try. She would send them a CV and leave it at that.
She had used the computer in Martyn’s bedroom, trying to ignore her elder son’s domain that resembled a battle zone. Christopher was a lot tidier, for all he was just ten minutes younger than his brother. They were not identical twins and their personalities were very different, even though they were devoted to each other. And yet Anna hadn’t been surprised when they had chosen different universities. She knew they felt it was time to go their separate ways.
It was while sitting at the computer that everything went almost supernatural. When she reached the part about marital status, her mind had rebelled. She sat back in the chair, staring at the screen. She wanted more, she wanted it to be so different. Her dreams had vanished like sea mist at the age of eighteen and perhaps it was time to redress the balance. Give fate a hand. Quickly taking the cursor back to where she had typed ‘married’, she typed ‘widow’.
She remembered feeling appalled and sitting back in the chair, pushing her hands between the knees of her jeans and biting her lip. Why had she done that? It was such a terrible lie.
“But it’s only a little lie that won’t do any harm, nothing to worry about really,” she had whispered.
She had posted her CV and letter never expecting to hear anything, so when the reply arrived two weeks later inviting her for an interview, Anna had almost fallen off the kitchen chair.
Yes, she had had to tell a lie to gain one precious day of freedom but as she had boarded the tra
in bound for Bristol Temple Meads that Thursday morning, she had felt it was all worth while. It had been exhilarating, the wonderful sense of freedom and independence accompanying her all the way to Bristol.
But everything had come crashing round her when Mrs Wilby, the housekeeper, had asked such personal questions. She hadn’t realised that her lies would have to be qualified since she had naively believed that no one would be interested in her private life. Multiple sclerosis! Where had that come from?
Suddenly, Anna remembered Jason Harrington’s expression as he had shaken her hand, his wonderful smile and his friendly manner. A feeling of longing swept through her and she wandered over to the window. The next door neighbour was in the act of chasing a cat from his immaculate garden and she sighed sadly. She must make that phone call soon, it was only fair to Sharon and Jason. Looking down at the crumpled advert in her hand, Anna read it once more and then threw it in the kitchen bin.
“I’m not sure what to pack for Romania?” said Anna, folding yet another pair of jeans.
Martyn looked over her shoulder. “The weather is a bit like here, I think. Better to take warm stuff while we’re working on the farm.”
“Yes, but our oldest things,” added Christopher. “The place will be full of sh…manure.”
Anna chuckled and studied her two sons who were already taller than her.
“You’ll take care of each other, won’t you?” She slipped her arms round their waists. “Keep in touch and…Oh, God, I’m going to miss you both.” Tears stung her eyes.
They hugged her close. “You mustn’t worry about us and we’ll send you texts every day,” said Martyn.
“Yeah, and if anything goes wrong…,” Christopher started and received a warning glance from his brother. “But nothing’s going to go wrong, of course. We’ll be fine.”
“I expect you to take charge.” Anna turned to Martyn.
“Why must he take charge?” asked Christopher indignantly.
“Because your head’s always in the clouds,” scoffed Martyn, grinning.
