by Cindy Kirk
As they watched, a frantic mother hurried over and made the little girl sit on her bottom.
Poppy’s eyes took on a faraway look. “I wanted a child for so long. Now it’s actually going to happen.”
He took a gulp of soda. It was hard to believe that in a few short months, he was going to be someone’s dad.
Ben pulled his attention back to Poppy when she placed a hand on his arm.
“I know when you asked me out on Valentine’s Day, you weren’t planning on becoming a father by the end of the year.”
“Life often takes unexpected turns.” Ben’s gaze shifted back to the children. “But I like the idea of having a child. And, you certainly deserve to be a mother. You’ll be a good one.”
She swallowed the last bite of her sandwich. “I believe that’s one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.”
“It’s the truth,” Ben said matter-of-factly. “If I would have set out to choose a mother for my child, I couldn’t have found anyone better than you.”
Her eyes swam with sudden tears. “I couldn’t have picked a better father for my child than you.”
“Our child,” he said pointedly, covering her hand with his.
And then he kissed her.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, reveling in the closeness until his pager went off. Minutes later, he was headed to the hospital.
Because she still had time on her break, Poppy stayed on the park bench, feeling the warmth of the wooden slats through the thin cotton of her shirt. She popped the last bite of the apricot and date fruit bar into her mouth then washed it down with iced tea.
Laughter rang out as children played, free from the cares of the world.
Freedom was the word she’d chosen at the book club.
What did it mean to her?
The freedom to let go of the past and embrace the future?
The freedom to love Ben Campbell fully and build a family with him?
Though Ben hadn’t asked her to marry him, she’d sensed the words poised on his lips several times lately.
Perhaps when he did ask, she’d say yes.
With a suddenly light heart, Poppy strolled back to the office.
Chapter Twenty
Since Ben had a meeting, Poppy stayed at the office to finish up some paperwork. With music blasting in the background, she munched on apple wedges and stayed focused. When she finally glanced at the clock, she was stunned. It was nearly eight o’clock.
While her computer powered down, Poppy pulled on her jacket and called Ben. He answered on the third ring. “I’m sorry I forgot to call,” she said quickly. “I lost track of the time. I’m on my way now.”
“Actually, I’m not home, either.” He sounded distracted. “I should be there shortly.”
Was that music she heard in the background? “Where are you?”
“Just finishing up some business,” he said smoothly. “I won’t be long. Drive carefully.”
“Yeah,” she said, “You, too.”
Frowning, she clicked off, her trouble antennae quivering. Even as anxiety gripped her chest, she reminded herself that Ben wasn’t Bill. Tonight, while they relaxed in the living room with a cup of cocoa, she’d ask about his evening.
Ben would explain where he’d been and what he’d been doing. She’d do the same. He’d laugh when he heard how she’d gotten caught up in boring paperwork. She’d laugh when she realized she’d worried over nothing.
Since there was no need to hurry home, Poppy took a detour to Hill of Beans, intending to grab a decaf cappuccino. She was sitting at a stoplight when she saw Ben.
Poppy gripped the steering wheel so tightly her knuckles turned white. The man she loved was with his former lover...and they’d just left the Red Sands Hotel.
Her blood froze as Ben gave the stylish doctor a quick hug and whispered something in her ear. As she watched, Mitzi laughed and tossed her tousled mane of hair provocatively before sashaying down the street.
For a second Poppy feared Ben would turn and see her. Then she wished he would. But he was too focused on his pretty colleague.
The car behind Poppy honked and she realized the light had changed. She hit the accelerator, but had to pull over several blocks later because she had difficulty seeing the road. It was hard to see anything through the curtain of tears blurring her vision.
Poppy pounded her fist against the steering wheel and swallowed a scream. Ben had assured her it was over between him and Mitzi. He’d insisted there was nothing but work between them. Yet, he was still seeing her. Still having sex with her. What else explained the two of them together at a hotel?
As sobs rose in her throat, she pushed them down.
Poppy had listened to Bill’s lies, believed his excuses. She’d trusted him because that’s what you were supposed to do in a committed relationship.
She’d done the same with Ben. She’d given him her trust. She’d overlooked him having lunch with Mitzi at Hill of Beans. Even explained away the attention he’d paid to Mitzi at the baby celebration and now...
Now it ended.
Wiping away the tears, Poppy squared her shoulders. Her penchant for being a trusting fool stopped today.
* * *
Ben found himself smiling as he pulled the Mercedes into the garage. It had been an extremely productive evening. Since he couldn’t hold a surprise baby shower for Poppy at his place and Mitzi insisted her condo wasn’t large enough, she’d suggested the Red Sands Hotel. Apparently she’d attended a bridal shower there and found the food and atmosphere top-notch.
After seeing the place, Ben concurred. Tonight they’d gotten the ball rolling thanks to Andrea, the hotel’s event planner. Ben hadn’t considered Poppy might like her mother and sister to attend until Mitzi suggested it. He had both of their phone numbers so Mitzi offered to contact them to see what weekend would work best.
All Ben had to do was keep his mouth shut about the arrangements. He grinned, already envisioning Poppy’s reaction the day she walked into the hotel and found friends and family gathered there.
With the bouquet of wildflowers he’d picked up at the florist’s in hand, Ben opened the door. His smile disappeared at the sight of Poppy standing in the foyer, her eyes red-rimmed and puffy.
He saw the luggage at her feet and immediately thought of her parents. “Your mom and dad. Has something happened?”
“They’re fine.” Poppy closed her eyes, breathed deep. “They’re all fine.”
Relief flooded him, followed quickly by confusion. Clearly something had upset her. If not her family...
He was almost at her side when her eyes flashed open. Only then did he see it wasn’t sadness in her gaze, but anger. Not grief on her face, but restrained fury.
“Sweetheart.” Ben inched closer, tentative and cautious, as if crossing a lake of ice that had begun to crack. When he reached out to her, he realized he still held the bouquet. “I brought you flowers.”
“Bill used to bring me flowers.” Her voice was bleak, as empty and flat as her expression. “I didn’t figure it out until after we split.”
“Do we really need to discuss your ex—”
“He’d bring them to me after he’d been with another woman.” Poppy gave a humorless laugh. “I received lots of flowers from him. Now, I’m getting them from you. Ironic, huh?”
“Poppy—” He gentled his tone. “What’s going on here?”
“I’m moving out. Moving back to my apartment.” She trailed off and he watched her struggle for composure as her eyes went shiny with tears.
“Why would you do that?” Ben kept his voice calm, his tone conversational, even though his palms had begun to sweat. “Talk to me.”
“Where were you tonight?”
The question
came out of left field, taking Ben by surprise. He hesitated only a second, but it was long enough to unleash her fury.
“Let me answer.” Her voice now held a steely edge. “You spent the evening with your former lover.”
Ben stilled. She’d seen him and Mitzi together? At the hotel?
Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.
Should he tell her about the shower? Blow the surprise? He saw no other option.
“I can explain everything.” Keeping his gaze firmly locked on hers, Ben spread out his hands. “Just listen—”
“Listen to you lie?” Poppy’s lips lifted in what could only be called a sneer and her tone turned flippant. “Sorry. Not in the mood.”
“Why would you think I’d lie?” Ben asked, his own anger bubbling just below the surface. Then it hit him. She thought he’d cheated on her. With Mitzi. “I’m not your ex-husband, Poppy. And frankly, I resent the comparison.”
“He never loved me completely,” she murmured almost to herself. “If at all. Just like you.”
The pain in her voice softened some of his anger.
Still, none of this made any sense. What was she talking about? Hadn’t he told her, shown her that she meant everything to him? He opened his mouth to speak, then remembered the comment he’d made weeks ago about not loving any woman too much. A comment she seemed determined to shove in his face to hide her own lack of commitment.
Ben gestured toward the luggage. “You’ve been itching for a reason to walk out on me.”
Her face paled. “That’s not true.”
“Then let me explain why I was with Mitzi tonight.”
“It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that one out,” she muttered.
“You think you know so much.” He stunned them both by flinging the bouquet across the coffee table, scattering the pretty flowers.
He watched Poppy’s color drain, saw her take a step back.
Get it under control, he told himself.
“You’ve had your say.” Ben took a steadying breath. “Now grant me the same courtesy. If you’re determined to leave after I finish, I’ll load your suitcases in the car myself.”
Poppy rubbed the back of her neck and nodded, looking incredibly weary. “Okay.”
“We can go into the living room,” he began. “You can sit—”
“No.” She brushed the suggestion aside with a flick of her hand. “I’m fine here.”
Ben shifted from one foot to the other. How had things gotten so screwed up? He didn’t even like baby showers.
“I now realize withholding information from you was a mistake. I should have been up-front about what I was doing and where I was tonight.” Ben kept his gaze on her face. “I just wanted the baby shower to be a surprise.”
“Baby shower?” Her voice broke on the words.
His lips curved a little. “I approached Mitzi about hosting one for you when we were at Cole’s house.”
She drew in a shuddering breath. “Why her?”
“I wasn’t sure which of your friends to ask. Planning a shower seemed a big responsibility. So I decided to ask the one person I knew wouldn’t feel obligated to do it simply because I asked. Mitzi would only agree if it was something she wanted to do.”
“She’s doing it for you.”
Ben’s gray eyes softened. “She didn’t agree for my sake, but for yours. Mitzi genuinely likes you.”
Poppy felt the first tingle of relief loosen the fist around her heart. Surely his current lover wouldn’t want to throw his baby mama a party?
She wanted to believe Ben. Dear God, how she wanted to believe him. But she remembered her ex and his very plausible explanations. “I saw you and Mitzi coming out of a hotel.”
“I told her we could have the party here, but she insisted that wouldn’t be appropriate. And she thought her condo was too small.” His voice took on a clip of annoyance. “She’d attended a wedding shower at the hotel and was impressed. This evening we met with the hotel’s event manager. The woman gave me her card. You can call her if you feel the need to verify what I’ve told you is accurate.”
Poppy wished she could simply take what he said on faith, but she knew if she didn’t verify his story the doubts would fester. She held out a hand. “Thank you.”
With business card in hand, she dialed the cell number. By the time Poppy ended the call, her doubts had been erased, replaced by regret that she’d hurt him.
“I don’t know what to say, other than when you’ve been lied to so often, it’s difficult to trust. Even when you desperately want to trust.” She felt her cheeks warm. “I falsely accused you. I’m truly sorry.”
“I know you’ve been hurt, but I’m not Bill. And like I said before, I resent the comparisons.” She could see his jaw tighten and noticed the control it took for him to relax it again. “I would never cheat on you or hurt you like he did. In the future, if something comes up that worries you, I ask that you give me a chance to explain before jumping to conclusions and thinking the worst of me.”
The way he said the words, the look in his eyes, shredded her control. As tears slipped down her cheeks, all she could manage in response was a jerky nod.
Blowing out a harsh breath, he drew her to him and simply held her.
Poppy leaned into the embrace, let herself be absorbed and comforted by his warmth, his touch. She always felt safe and loved in his arms. “I love you,” she murmured.
“I love you,” he replied, now gently stroking her back.
It’s enough, Poppy told herself.
But even when his lips lowered to hers in an achingly tender kiss, Poppy found herself wondering just how much he loved her. With his whole heart? With every fiber of his being? She thought about asking him, but knew these kinds of questions couldn’t be answered with words.
And if she eventually concluded he didn’t love her totally, it would be for her to decide if only owning part of his heart would be enough.
* * *
As Ben held Poppy tight against him that night, he realized how close he’d come to losing it all. He’d been a fool to think he could put strict parameters on his feelings. The fear in his gut had made him realize that nothing was more important to him than her and their unborn baby.
He’d fallen in love. Totally. Completely.
There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for her, for their child. If she left him...
His heart stopped beating for several seconds before he was able to reassure himself that wouldn’t happen. He wouldn’t let it happen. For the rest of her life he’d make Poppy so happy she couldn’t imagine being anywhere but with him.
* * *
Several months later, with Jackson Hole firmly in the throes of an Indian summer, Ben arrived home on a Saturday afternoon to a strange car in the driveway and the sound of feminine laughter coming from the deck around back.
After stowing his workout gear, he grabbed a beer from the refrigerator then decided to see who Poppy was entertaining today. Through the kitchen window he saw Cassidy and Hailey sitting around the patio table with a very pregnant Poppy. Groucho slept at her feet. Large glasses of iced tea and a tray of assorted fresh fruits, artfully arranged by Angela, were on the table.
He paused, trying to remember if Poppy had mentioned the two would be visiting today. Not that it mattered. After all, this was her home, too. Or, he hoped she thought of it that way. The fact that she continued to pay rent on her apartment was troubling.
What bothered him even more was the couple of times she’d casually alluded to the possibility of moving back there after the baby was born. He’d made it clear that he wanted her to stay. That he wanted them to be a family.
He’d brought up marriage. Though she hadn’t said no, she hadn’t said yes. Actually, she’d acted like it was some sort o
f joke and quickly changed the subject.
Because Ben knew she’d been burned by marriage, he hadn’t pressed. But it chapped his thighs. He wasn’t Bill and she should darn well know that by now. Should know him.
After many sleepless nights, he concluded that she still believed he didn’t love her enough. That was the only possible explanation and it gibed with what she’d said to him the night she’d accused him of sleeping with Mitzi.
Ben tried telling her that she was his whole world, but words were, well, simply words. He wished he could figure out a way to convince her he was sincere.
“Did you hear the Jaycees are trying to recruit men for the Torch Singing competition next Valentine’s Day?” Cassidy spoke loudly, her words clearly audible through the partially opened window.
Ben took a long pull of beer and thanked God he wouldn’t be one of those men. He meant it when he’d told Poppy after her stellar Valentine’s Day performance that she’d never see him on a stage.
Hailey said something in a low tone that made the other women laugh.
The fact she and Hailey were now friends had made Poppy happy. She’d been determined to make things right with the perky blonde and Hailey had finally responded to her overtures. She’d even apologized to Poppy for being such a “brat.”
Smiling, Ben pulled a bag of chips from the cupboard. Jalapeño ranch, his favorite treat after a strenuous workout.
“Are you kidding?” Poppy laughed. “Ben would never get up on stage.”
Ben’s ears perked up at the sound of his name.
“You know me so well.” He grinned and dumped a mound of chips on a plate.
“I bet he would if you asked him.”
Cassidy again, Ben thought with a scowl. The woman should learn to keep her mouth shut.
“Don’t you think it’d be romantic?” Cassidy continued. “Having Ben on a stage, singing a love song to you?”
Hailey said something again, and through the window Ben saw Poppy nod.
“It would be very romantic,” Poppy agreed. “But I can’t think of anything that would cause him to put himself out there like that.”
