by J. L. Beck
Love isn’t in my cards. It’s hard to love someone when every person you have ever cared about is ripped from you.
Sliding one arm under her knees and the other cradling her head, I hold her against my body. She is a tiny thing, light, but curvy.
“Let’s go to bed,” I whisper against her skin as I watch her eyes close. She falls into a blissful sleep before my feet even hit the top steps. She is the angel, and I am the devil. There is no saving us from the destruction I will cause.
Chapter Eight
Bree
It had been three days since I had the most mind-blowing sex of my life. Zerro is a dark man, but I am starting to crave him. He hasn’t fucked me since that night, and though I have given him blowjobs and allowed him to go down on me many times, we still haven’t connected again.
“Get out of bed,” he orders, his voice stern. He has started to grow angrier every day, and just the other night when I heard him conversing with Mack, a bottle of bourbon was smashed against the wall.
I roll my eyes at his command. He might have a hold on my body, but my mind is mine to keep. I can say whatever I want in my mind, and if I had the courage, I could say it all out loud.
“Out,” he orders again, coming to my side of the bed. I growl, my feet hitting the floor. We have gone over this. I told him there will be no ordering me around, and though he didn’t agree, I figured I had gotten my point across. Obviously not.
“I’m up. What the fuck crawled up your ass and died?” I stumble from the bed and toward the closet.
Grabbing a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, I walk away from him, leaving him to wallow in whatever it is that is making him mad. He is mad all the time, grateful for nothing I’m sure.
I slip through the bathroom door, fully intent on closing it and locking it when his body slides through, stopping me.
“What do you want?” I ask, distasted with the fact that he can’t… no, won’t leave me alone.
“Why did you accept the debt for your father?” His eyes hold this curiousness that bothers me. He isn’t curious. A man like him is never curious... He has a reason behind every question that he asks.
“If you think I did this because I thought that it would be fun, you have got to be fucking crazy…” I laugh. Not the normal hunky-dory kind, but the kind that makes me look like I am crazy.
Raising an eyebrow at me, he watches my facial features as if he is going to find me in a lie somewhere. “That’s not what I meant. I mean, why would you just step up to the plate?”
“Why would you take an innocent girl and bring her into your sick and twisted life? You should have to apologize for the monster that you have become,” I retort. Who does he think he is? Questioning me has been his plan all along. He has to know that most people who borrow money from him will never be able to pay him back. Which, in that case, means he does what he does knowing the outcome is almost always going to be death.
His face twists into an angry scowl. I don’t want to push him, but then again, I do. My blood sings for him to take me, to slam my back against the wall and push my panties to the side…
“Me, apologize for being a monster?” he growls, stepping more and more into the bathroom, forcing me to take steps back until my back hits the vanity.
“Why should I have to apologize for the very thing that these people have made me out to be? Why should I have to say sorry to anyone…” His face is in mine, anger is right on the surface of exploding within him.
Lifting my chin and staring him straight in the eyes I say, “Because, people who are innocent and just trying to get by, die because of you. You kill people because of a debt that is meant to be paid? Did you ever think that these people come to you as a last resort? Have you ever lost anything or anyone? Probably not… You don’t even know the pain….”
His fist raises and comes down though it never hits me. The mirror directly behind us shatters. Shards of glass go flying in every direction, and I push past him and out of the way as blood pours from his hand.
Hate, deep and ugly, radiates off him. “I know loss, pain, and heartache. You take my mercy for kindness, but I’m not kind. I’m not soft!” he screams at me.
They say you should never look death straight in the eye, but I guess you can say I’m a bit of a rebel. I can see the misery, anger, and insecurities within him swirling. He wants me to think that nothing can break him. That there isn’t anything on the face of the earth that can bring him out of his own personal hell.
“You are, or you wouldn’t have taken me instead of ending my father’s life.” I don’t let the way he’s looking at me scare me. I don’t let his beautifully dark face tarnish my mind.
“You know nothing…” he growls, his hands reaching into my hair. He tugs it hard, and my scalp burns while my walls clench. The pleasure and pain he can bring me has me wanting to set him off non-stop by looking him straight in the eyes, defying him, pushing him.
“I do…”
His eyes look into mine, all pieces of the human I have grown to know are gone. His mouth descends on mine, our teeth clash, and there’s so much power in that simple skin on skin contact. His hand is still in my hair, holding me in place, and I can’t help but feel all over his body.
He growls, gripping my ass and lifting me up onto the counter. The broken glass pricks against my skin, but I don’t care. Nothing can pull me away from this man. My hunger for him outweighs everything.
His lips devour mine while he bites at my skin. My legs spread all on their own as I ready for him. His hand reaches up, tearing my panties from me. The flimsy night shirt I’m wearing is no resistance to him.
I’m panting with need by the time he releases my hair and pushes me back so he can unbuckle himself. I watch as he slowly pulls his pants off, his cock comes to attention, and I feel my mouth watering. The thought of him taking me, with no intent of warning me, has me growing wetter by the second.
“Hold on. . . I’m going to fuck the defiance right out of you.” He whispers in my ear, his teeth graze it, and I let a sigh escape my lips. My ass is tugged to the edge of the counter, and suddenly he’s at my entrance, entering me with an intensity I have never felt in my life. Our grunts and slaps echo through the bathroom. Zerro’s fingers bite into my flesh as a flutter runs through me and straight to my toes. They curl, and a cry of pleasure leaves my lips as I open my eyes and catch him watching himself push in and out of me.
“Your pussy, your body… It is all made for me,” he growls, his teeth scrape my skin as his cock continues to push into me, hitting my G-spot. I have never felt so much pleasure in my life. Something in me comes to life, and I feel myself floating. My body tingles and zings with desire, pleasure, and pain.
He continues his destructive pace as if he is trying to break me into little pieces so he can put me back together as he sees fit. Reaching up, I grip his face, bringing him nose to nose with me. Desire pulls deep inside of his eyes, and suddenly we’re moving as he slams my back against one of the walls. The air leaves my lungs as he places deep kisses against my neck, and chest. Fabric tears, and I’m so far into a lust induced state that I don’t even care what is going on. My only want and need is Zerro.
“Tight pussy and your tits, they’re fucking gorgeous, just like every other aspect of you.” His words are a whisper to my soul but barely heard by my ears. His grip on my ass tightens as he moves us again, his back landing on the bed with me on top of him. His hands move from my hips and come to a still behind his head as he smirks up at me.
Looking down at him, I ask, “What are we doing?”
“Ride me. Show me what that tight pussy of yours can do. I’ve never had a pussy that can bring me to my knees like yours does. I want to know if you can make me beg, plead, and want more.”
Gyrating my hips slowly I smile, “Your wish is my command.” I move slowly at first, watching as the smile slowly slips from his face. His lips part and his tongue touches his lips, licking them in anticipation. I bounce on him until I fee
l myself on the verge, my walls clench, my mind slips from my body, and I feel as if I’m looking at everything from above. Is it possible to die from coming so many times?
In the next moment, I’m lying on my back as he parts my legs and then pushes them down into my chest so he can go deeper. His pace is evil as he slips in and out slowly, then all of a sudden it’s as if all hell has broken lose. It’s as if he has broken lose. He pushes into me with all his might, his dick hitting my back wall with a painfully pleasing feeling.
As soon as it starts its ending, I can feel him coming deep inside of me. I feel his spurts of hot semen and his dick swelling as my walls clench him once again. My body feels as if it’s floating, and I have never in my life felt such great pleasure from pain.
He pulls his cock from my body, leaving me feeling as if I have lost a part of myself just as I’m coming back down to earth, I think I hear the words, “She will be the death of me” slip from his lips. Any thought of getting up now is lost as I drift into a deep, dark, comatose sleep.
* * * * *
“Wake up,” he growls in my ear. I roll over, my naked body colliding with his dressed one. How long had he been lying next to me, watching me sleep?
“What time is it?” I ask sleepily. I look out the window and catch a glimpse of the sun setting. Have I slept the whole day? I guess I understand now how hard it is to remove yourself from someone’s bed after an intense round of sex.
“It’s time for you to get up. We’re going to meet someone very important to me. However, first we’re going to dinner.” The way the word dinner rolls off his tongue sends my body into overdrive. Is this a date? Or is it just a mafia king and his indebted eating dinner together?
Groaning, I stretch. My body is sore, in a deliciously well worked over way. My pussy aches, and as I stand, my legs feel like jelly. I grip the side of the bed, trying to get a grip on my footing. Come on, body, get it together. As I get my footing, I turn to see a very amused look on Zerro’s face. He is so cocky, he makes me want to punch him.
“Did I fuck the defiance out of you?” he asks, smirking. I roll my eyes as I walk back to the bathroom.
“No. Did I fuck the bad out of you?” I ask with a cheeky grin before closing the bathroom door. The mirror fragments have been picked up, and a whole new mirror sits before me. Was it all a dream? I touch the mirror as if my fingertips can bring this dream back.
The glass is cold under my fingers, and I pull my hand back, finally catching a glimpse of my face in the mirror. I look like a five dollar whore. Fingertip markings can be found on my legs, hips, and arms. My hair desperately needs brushing, and my lips are red and chapped as if I have been kissed for hours.
I run my fingers through my hair, hissing as my scalp is sensitive. The hours before swarm me. The way he had taken me, the way he had possessed my mind and body… It was all about him and me at that moment. The mafia, the money owed, debts, nothing mattered except in the areas that we were connected. Zerro may be a lost cause to most, dark and dangerous to others, but I have never felt closer to anyone like I have him.
Stopping myself from thinking of the way his cock tastes in my mouth, I head to the shower. My mind turning my blissful thoughts into shit immediately. Even if the sex is good, and he hasn’t killed me yet, it doesn’t mean it isn’t going to happen. Once I have served a purpose to him, it will happen. I know I need to pull myself from thinking that he can be saved, but I don’t think I can. I see that sliver of hope in his eyes. He still believes in himself somewhere deep inside the darkness that holds him.
I turn the water on, running my hand under it until I get it to the temperature I want. I slip into the shower, letting the hot water hit my skin. The bathroom smells just like him, and I find myself reaching for his body wash and smelling it. It’s not a complex smell, nothing that has a fancy name to it. It simply smells clean, manly if you will.
I put some onto my hands and wash my body with it. He doesn’t have any feminine bathroom products, and I’m not sure if this should make me happy or not. He doesn’t seem like the type to have a girlfriend, but he does seem the type to use and abuse. He hasn’t talked to me about his past, any ex’s he’s had, or what he does for work. All I know about him is that he is a Mafia King and he has money. That much is known.
I lather the shampoo into my hair, scrubbing it in frustration for the things going on around me. I know nothing about him or the darkness that cloaks him, cloaks everything he is. Mack being the only person I can possibly go to isn’t an option. Not after what he did, or almost did to me.
A sigh leaves my lips, as I slip back under the hot stream of water. I still hadn’t told him about what Mack almost did, or how he has treated me. Not that I thought it would do me any good. If Zerro can kill a whole room of people, I’m sure he can care less about a woman being raped.
I rinse the soap, wishing I could rinse away the feelings I am having inside. Even if there is a sliver of hope and light left in him, can I save him and walk away unscathed? Something tells me it won’t be that easy.
I shiver as I shut the water off and watch it go down the drain. I am stalling. I am not sure what will take place tonight, I don’t know if there will be anything that will occur between us.
“Five minutes,” he says, tapping against the wood door of the bathroom. I pull myself from my thoughts and force myself to dry off. I need to get out of my head. There is no point in trying to hide inside my own mind.
Once my hair and body are dry, I wrap the towel around my body and slip through the door. The room is empty as I tiptoe over to the bed. A glimpse of red catches my eyes as I take in the red dress that lays on the bed. I touch the edge of the dress. The material is soft, similar to the other dress I had been given.
Who is this man? He dresses me, fucks me like he owns me, and he is dark and full of secrets. I have a decision to make. I can wear the dress or defy him and wear something else. It is beautiful, though, and I know just by looking it will look good on me. However, won’t doing what he wants be giving myself over to him?
Then again, I have no idea as to where it is that we are going, and if I don’t wear the dress, he will just make me put it on anyway. Growling, I curse him and his explicit dress choice. I pull out a pair of black panties and a red strapless bra.
I slip the dress on, relishing in the softness that wraps around me. I feel as if I am wrapped in the softest blanket in the world. The dress is very similar to the other dress, except this one is tighter. My body is curved into it like a glove. My breasts are accentuated very well, and my waist line looks tiny.
“You look exceptional…” His dark voice says behind me. I hadn’t heard him slip into the room, probably because I can’t stop staring at how I look in the mirror.
“Compliments of you, of course…” I say smugly, unable to wipe the look off my face. I know if I start going soft, it will be a lost cause. I have to get out of this alive.
A smile peeks at his lips… “Who else knows your body like I do?” he questions. He is trying to make my mind drift back to the time we shared this afternoon. It had been intimate and passionate. It is something I will be thinking about for many days to come.
“You don’t have to buy me shit… I don’t need any more debt to be paid…” I trail off, my fingers fidgeting with the edge of the dress. A pair of kickass looking heels are next to my feet, but I am not sure I want to wear them. I can hardly walk in shoes, heels will kill me.
“Consider it a gift then.” His voice is cool, his face void of all emotions. He is dressed in black slacks with a red tie and a white shirt underneath. He dresses to please, just looking at him makes me want to run straight to the bed and forget about doing anything. He oozes so much sex and confidence, it consumes everything in his way.
“No, thank you,” I say as nicely as possible while gritting my teeth. I kind of hate that he has all this power. He controls people, and not only other people, but now me, too.
He smiles softly, w
hich is surprising because nothing on him is soft… “Put your shoes on, please. We need to get going.” Those are his last words to me before slipping his hands into his pockets and leaving the room. Those hands, the very things that cause pain and pleasure in so many ways.
He is a force to be reckoned with. I just don’t know if it will be me to bring him down or himself.
Chapter Nine
Alzerro
“Go get her,” I speak firmly to Mack. His eyes bore into mine for a moment longer than I would like before he goes upstairs to my room. Bree has found a way under my skin, and each day that she is here, I feel myself losing my grip on things. I am not soft, I can’t be. In this world, there is only strength or weakness. Being weak is certain death, and strength is power, something needed when you have men breathing down your throat and people shooting at you.
Speaking of which, I am going to kill Luccio tonight if he doesn’t give me the answers I need. Someone sent one of his men to my home for something. Something which is unknown to me, but I am going to find out. When he and I had last spoken, he seemed so intent on helping me find my mother’s killer, now it seems as if he is the enemy, just wanting to weasel his way further into my life, hoping I’ll expose any and all secrets.
My fists clench with anger, isn’t that what everyone wants? Bree, too? To weasel their way into what it is that makes me tick? To break me down? I hear the faint sound of heels on the floor and avert my eyes to the stairs. The second my eyes land on Bree, I swear I want to give all the anger and madness away.
Her dress fits her just as I envisioned it would, hugging all her beautiful curves and accenting her body for what it is. Her eyes hold a secret and I can see the fear in them. Her body is bound up tight with something, and the way she pulls away from Mack has me wondering if he’s tried something on her.
She takes the steps slowly, her heels clacking along the way. I had set this dinner up in an effort for us to get to know more about one another. I had known all there is to know about her father, and her, herself. She is a college student, she is undecided in academics, and her favorite color is green. She is deathly afraid of bees, and her favorite ice cream is double fudge. My men had found all this out via the internet, among other tools that weren’t known to the public.
