Emma turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, grabbing a nearby towel to dry off. The entire night with Arran left her confused. She was attracted to him for so many reasons, and yet part of her just didn’t jive with him. She just felt so detached from herself when she was with him. He was romantic, charming, and adventurous, so what the hell was her problem? She needed to talk to Luke about it. He would help her sort it all out. As usual, she was probably overthinking everything, she considered miserably.
She found her way into the bedroom and without an ounce of energy left, she dropped her towel and slipped under her covers, falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.
Chapter 27
Luke took a long pull from his beer then tipped the bottle toward Emma, “Ok, so you started making out, then what?”
They were out for dinner, her treat. Mimi had insisted on it and he couldn’t say no to her, so he cancelled his plans and met her at the restaurant. She sounded “off” when she called him that afternoon, completely out of sorts. He hoped that nothing awful happened with Arran, not after he suggested that she fuck him. The man had flown her to San Francisco for dinner on a private jet, a five-star restaurant, no less. It sounded like the stuff in fairy tales and he wondered what happened to shake her up.
“Honestly, I don’t know. Everything was going well. I was really into it...well I mean I really wanted to be into it but then I just felt myself disconnect, like a switch just flipped in me. It felt like I was on autopilot, just going through the motions. Jesus, Luke, I have been wanting this for a long time and on paper everything seemed so right, but for some reason, I just couldn’t engage. He’s such an interesting man too. How the fuck do you do it? You’re so adventurous and bold and can just jump in with both feet,” she sputtered quickly, as though she had been rehearsing her concerns over and over in her mind.
Luke smiled casually at her, hoping to reassure her. “I don’t know, Mimi. Sometimes I am on auto-pilot. I guess it just doesn’t affect me the way it affects you. You have higher expectations, understandably, but maybe you’re putting too much pressure on yourself,” he soothed, refilling her wine glass. “Cut yourself some slack, maybe you just weren’t that into him.”
She looked up at him thoughtfully, as though processing his observation, then slowly shook her head. “You think I have higher expectations?”
“Yeah, maybe. I think you were deprived of sex for a long time, maybe you thought it would be different, maybe you’re over-analyzing, maybe you got cold feet,” he offered cautiously, “or like I said, maybe you just weren’t into him. It is possible that you just didn’t have chemistry with Arran. It happens.”
“Hmm...” she frowned doubtfully, her eyes reading his, allowing his words to land on her. “I guess. We were having a good time, for the most part...”
“For the most part?” Luke shifted back into his seat, curious by the admission.
“Well, no, it was a good date. He’s a formidable man, confident, sexual, even a little tenacious, but not in a bad way. I get the sense that he’s used to getting what he wants, particularly in business. The thing is, I just couldn’t help but feel that while he has the romance all figured out, he might be unclear what intimacy is,” she explained quietly. “I don’t know, it just felt like something was missing.”
“Fair enough,” Luke agreed. He understood that well, having been in Arran’s shoes all too often.
“I know I said that I wanted adventure, Luke. Sex? Yes, please...but I guess there’s more to it for me. I’m complicated,” she pouted, taking a gulp of her wine.
“What more? Be specific?”
She sighed thoughtfully, hesitating before answering him, “I don’t know, I guess I just want to feel like I’m being included in the process, you know?”
Luke shook his head, unclear what she was getting at. “Explain what you mean. What happened?”
“Well, like I said, the mood was set, it couldn’t have been more romantic. I was undressed down to my underwear...”
Luke did his best to focus on her words while imagining her half naked. He hoped his face wouldn’t reveal his lewd thoughts. He smiled at her encouragingly as she shared her story, trying to understand her dilemma.
“Things were getting hot and heavy and he wanted to go down on me and honestly, part of me wanted to let him, in spite of my trepidation, but then we hit turbulence and the captain announced over the speaker that we needed to fasten our seat belts. We had a little chuckle over that and then I got re-dressed.”
“Fasten your seat belt, it’s going to be a bumpy ride?” he teased, drawing out her smile.
“Something like that,” she quipped back, pausing to let the waiter place their meals in front of them. She thanked him, continuing her story after he walked away.
“The thing is, he spent a lot of time telling me what was important to him. What he wanted, needed, but he didn’t really ask me. It seemed like he kind of had a routine, and not just while we were being physical. The whole date seemed that way...you know? ‘Insert woman here’,” she surmised, her problem suddenly making sense to him.
“Ah, I see now,” Luke took a bite of his burger and nodded, giving him a moment to ‘chew’ on his response. She smiled weakly and shrugged, popping a french fry into her mouth. “So you’re saying it all felt a little contrived?” he concluded.
“Yes! Contrived! Good word,” she agreed, grateful he understood. “I guess I’m just wondering if I’m being too sensitive. Maybe I just need to learn to relax.”
“Possibly, hard to say. I’ve always known you to ignore your intuition in the past though, Mimi, giving everyone the benefit of the doubt and then blaming yourself when things go south. Maybe you need to stop doing that,” he scolded, gently.
“I see your point. The thing is, we also shared some laughs and had a pretty good time. It wasn’t all bad. I don’t want to give you a totally negative impression. That’s why I feel so conflicted.”
“No, I hear you,” he encouraged, looking at her thoughtfully. He wished he felt as supportive as he sounded, but the truth was, there was also a small part of him that was happy that ‘Mr. Perfect’ had left her wanting more. He did his best to swallow down his smugness with a mouthful of beer.
“It was a combination of so many things that women love, but for some reason, the pieces didn’t come together for me,” she admitted, her eyes on her plate, “That’s why I felt like maybe it was me?”
“So what is it you’re looking for here, Mimi? What do you want me to say?”
“I don’t know.”
Luke inhaled slowly, frustrated that he didn’t have answers for her. His instincts the day before had been bang on, she needed more time to figure out what she really wanted. It was a simple as that.
“Well, it was just a date, a fun night out, no harm done, right? Stop beating yourself up. It didn’t end in fireworks but that doesn’t mean shit, Mimi. I’ve been out with plenty of women where the night ended with a whimper instead of a bang. Just keep moving forward, there’s lots of fun to be had,” he assured, taking her hand in his. She looked down at their entwined fingers and smiled, exhaling her breath slowly.
“You’re right. I need to stop overthinking this. Any suggestions?”
He squeezed her fingers gently and released her, “Well, I have an idea...” he teased, “a party on Friday night. It might be just what you need.”
“Oh? How so?” she purred, her wide eyes evidence of her intrigue.
“Well, it’s very naughty, and I promise you’ll get laid,” he grinned, taking another bite of his hamburger. Mimi looked at him curiously, a smile wavering on her lips. Luke chuckled, thoroughly enjoying pushing her boundaries. “The best part is that you won’t be in your head at all, it’s all about your body, your pleasure.”
“Hmm, sounds interesting. What’s the catch?” she asked, setting her fork in front of her.
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t play coy, tell me
what this party is all about?”
“What, and ruin the anticipation?” he grinned, deliberately toying with her.
“How do you know I’ll want to get laid?” she smirked, squinting her eyes suspiciously.
Luke pointed his fork at her and laughed, “because we both know, Rapunzel, it’s time to let your hair down!”
She shook her head, her teeth pulling at her bottom lip, assessing him.
“You have to trust me. I got your back. Besides, you’re the one who asked for this, remember?” he insisted lightly.
“Yes, I remember. Don’t make me regret it,” she joked, throwing a french fry at him. He shrugged nonchalantly, picking the fry off the table and impishly popping it into his mouth.
“Never.”
“Now, I have to tell you something and you have to promise not to laugh,” she said, pausing to take a bite of her own burger. Luke looked at her curiously, waiting for her to continue.
“Promise?” she insisted, wiping a dollop of runaway ketchup off her chin.
“Hmm, I’ll try...” he chuckled. He could never guarantee something like that.
“So last night, Arran pulled some condoms out of his pocket and asked me what my favorite flavor was. Apparently, I had a choice between blueberry and cherry! What the hell? I had no idea they had berry flavored condoms!” she clucked naively, her wide eyes staring at him in disbelief. Dangerously close to breaking his promise, he brought a fist to his mouth and stifled a laugh, snorting instead. She gave him a playful warning look.
“What, no strawberry? That’s your favorite!” he mused, wishing he could have seen the look on her face.
“I know, right? And when did it become a thing for guys to make their junk smell like fruit?” she laughed uninhibitedly, her green eyes sparkling with amusement.
“I must have missed the memo,” Luke chuckled, happy she saw the humor in it. “So which one did you choose?”
“I told him to surprise me,” she giggled, “but we never got that far...turbulence.”
Luke sniggered to himself, surprised by how thrilled he was that Arran had less game than he did. I mean, if he were ever to offer a lady a flavored condom, it would be something fucking cool, like chocolate martini or chunky monkey. Blueberry, he thought smugly, what a fucking tool.
“So enough about me, tell me what shenanigans you got up to last night?” Mimi purred, taking a sip of wine. She looked at him curiously and smiled. Luke shook his head and grinned back. He had stayed home watching the ball game, in truth thinking about her most of the night. Her and Arran, actually, and he’d been fucking miserable.
“Oh, you know me...” he winked, hoping it would be enough to appease her.
“Breaking hearts, no doubt,” she teased, flashing him a flirty grin.
“That’s how I roll, Babe,” he shrugged smugly, offering no apologies.
They sat comfortably in silence for several minutes, pounding down their burgers. Luke always appreciated how they could quietly enjoy each others’ company just as easily as anything else. Their years of friendship had afforded them that. He casually looked up at her and took a moment to study her face. He’d always thought that if Mimi knew how beautiful she was she would worship at her own feet. It never failed to surprise him how humble she was.
She glanced up and caught him staring, offering him a curious smile. It looked like she had something running through her mind, something she was considering.
“I almost forgot to tell you,” she began quietly, as though second guessing herself, “about last night. Something Arran said.” Mimi chuckled softly, playfully batting her eyelashes. Luke gave her a questioning look, trying to remain as objective as possible. He didn’t care for his name on her lips, but damned if he would show it.
“So get this, he thinks you’re in love with me,” she blurted, her smile beaming at him from across the table. Luke leaned back in his chair, tossing his napkin on top of his plate. He looked up slowly, unsure he heard her right.
“He thinks what?”
Mimi slowly wiped her hands clean, her eyes never leaving his, regarding him carefully. “You love me,” she sang with a silly grin. Luke raised an eyebrow and smirked as if to say ‘that dude is crazy’.
“What the hell? Why would he say that?” Luke clucked, shaking his head in disbelief. And why the fuck would Arran talk about him with Mimi anyway? That was a bitch move, as far as he was concerned.
“I don’t know, he said it was just an observation. He used the word ‘proprietary’ to describe you. Maybe because both times I met him you were watching out for me. Plus, you have to admit, you were a bit intimidating at the club,” she offered lightly, sensing his irritation. “He said you look at me like a man in love. Isn’t that hysterical?”
Luke snorted derisively, finishing the last swallow of his beer, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. “What did you tell him?”
“I told him we were friends, that you were harmless. I mean, can you imagine?”
Luke met her amused expression with a chuckle, shrugging his shoulders. He wanted to brush it off, let Arran’s observations roll off his back, but the truth was, against his better judgement, he could imagine it. He’d been trying to dodge his awkward feelings for Mimi for months and it shook him to the core that Arran tried to call them out. How the hell could Arran know what he was feeling when he didn’t even know himself.
“Yeah, that would be fucking weird, wouldn’t it?” Luke chortled, flagging down the waiter. When he looked back at Mimi she was observing him curiously, as though trying to read his thoughts. He made a face at her, lightening the mood, just as the waiter set down the bill.
“Well, it wouldn’t be that weird, would it?” she teased, reaching over to grab the slip. “I got this.”
Luke beat her to it, but not without brushing his hand over hers. He snatched the bill away quickly, avoiding her eyes.
“My treat,” he insisted, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket.
She shook her head in protest and held her hand out. “Give it to me,” she demanded playfully. Luke looked up at her puckishly and grinned.
“Give it to you? Well as long as you’re begging...” he flirted, his words thick with innuendo.
“You wish,” Mimi snorted, her pretty eyes rolling in mock disgust. “Come on, I invited you, let me pay.”
“Mimi, chill. It’s burgers and fries, not a French five star in San Francisco. I think I can manage,” he teased, a little harsher than he meant to. She sat back slowly, her smile fading ever so slightly, and he regretted the quip as soon as the words left his mouth. “Sorry,” he offered, hoping to recover himself.
She paused for a moment, casually looking him over, then nodded her assent. “Ok, thank you,” she said, graciously letting him off the hook.
After he paid the bill, he stood up and tucked his wallet away, then leaned over her, placing his hand on her shoulder. He gently kissed her cheek. “I’m going to bounce,” he offered warmly, “have a good week. See you Friday? Get your kink on, girl!”
Mimi nodded and smiled sweetly, reaching out to grab his hand. Her touch toured up his arm, causing a curious sensation. He quickly dismissed it, refusing to read too much into it.
“Ok, as long as you think I’m ready?” she agreed nervously.
Luke wasn’t sure if she was ready or not, but he sure as hell was. He hadn’t been laid in months and he was certain his lack of activity was fucking with his emotions. He just needed a distraction, anything to set him back on the right track. Maybe he would meet a hot little diversion.
He offered her a reassuring smile, casually pulling his hand free, “Only one way to find out...” he mused, “it might be time to fish or cut bait, my friend.”
Chapter 28
“Come out with me Friday night,” Arran pleaded, his tone light and playful. Emma was at work, sorting through some files, her phone tucked awkwardly behind her ear. She smiled warmly, pleased that he called her. After her conversation with L
uke a few nights earlier, she’d decided she was being too hard on herself, and it was holding her back. She did like Arran, and maybe they just needed a little more time. He had probably been just as nervous as she was.
“Another night, Arran? Luke invited me to go to a party on Friday,” she explained, shifting the phone to her other ear. Then she whispered, “it’s a naughty party.”
“Ah, another adventure for Emma?” he replied, his tone hard to place. It seemed to be light, but she definitely picked up subdued tension.
“Yes, something like that,” she laughed, hoping to set him at ease.
“I know the party. If it’s the one I’m thinking about, it’s a sensory deprivation party, very exclusive,” he offered, peaking her curiosity, “and yes, very naughty.”
“What is a sensory deprivation party?” she asked quietly, not wanting her voice to be overheard.
“Well, my dear, think of the olden days, when couples would throw their keys in a bowl....” he began, his accent flirtatiously thick, “and then add a little mystery...”
Emma giggled nervously, her free hand cupping her mouth to ensure privacy, “Mystery?”
“Didn’t Luke explain it to you?” Arran muttered, his tone once again questionable.
“No, no, he wanted me to be surprised, and why exactly did people throw their keys into a bowl?”
“To choose partners? Free love, and all that jazz?” he mused curiously. “Goodness, how do you not know these things?”
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