I snorted. “Well not with Josh, obviously.”
That’s amazing!” Val squealed. “You guys can get married and we’ll be sisters! Backyard barbecues, Christmas brunch...hey, we should try to get pregnant around the same time.”
“Woah, hold up there, sparky,” I said. “This is not amazing. It sucks. I already know Levi doesn’t feel the same for me, which is why I’ve been putting some distance between us for the past couple of days. I needed some space.”
Val was quiet for a minute.
“Maybe we’re not at tandem baby stage yet,” she said finally, “but I wouldn’t be so flippant about Levi’s feelings. You don’t know that he doesn’t have feelings for you too.”
“He has given me zero indication that he does. I’m just playing it safe.”
She chuckled. “You can’t play it safe in love. That’s not how it works.”
“Easy for you to say.”
“You don’t think Garrick and I had our struggles? I almost didn’t go on our first date because I was scared he was playing a practical joke on me. The first time I met his parents I nearly had a panic attack in the car outside the restaurant because I thought they were going to filet me.”
“Okay, fine,” I said with a sigh. “But Levi isn’t Garrick. He told me straight up he’s happier alone.”
“Stop listening to what Levi says and start looking at what he does,” she replied. “He’s gone through a transformation since you came into his life. When I first met Levi, he was a perennial grump, and now he’s a friendly giant.”
“He’s still a grump.”
She laughed. “He wouldn’t be Levi if he weren’t, but you know exactly what I mean. I wouldn’t be so sure that your feelings are unrequited.”
“I love what you’re trying to do, but I think it’ll be better for me in the long run not to cling onto foolish hope,” I said.
“What are you going to do? Just hope the feelings go away?”
“Exactly.”
Val sighed. “It doesn’t work that way.”
“Maybe not,” I conceded, “but I’ll try anything once.”
“You’ve both been hurt before—badly—but I think it would be a mistake to let that pain steer you wrong.”
I frowned. “I’m not.”
“Are you sure?”
Clearing my throat, I said, “We’re supposed to be relaxing.”
“Yes, you are,” chimed my masseuse.
“We’re going to talk about this again,” Val said in a singsong voice. “You won’t put me off that easy.”
“After the wedding.” I closed my eyes and began to slip back into warm, fuzzy relaxation mode. “For now, I am all about you.”
A year of work and here we were. The rehearsal dinner.
Our party took up the whole back wall of the restaurant, seated around one long table lit by flickering candle columns and decorated with white rose petals and pearls.
Val and Garrick were sandwiched together on one side of the table at their insistence, while Levi and I flanked them. Both sets of parents were there, across from each other so neither would feel like the other got a better spot at the table. Josh was near the end with another two of Val’s cousins, and a few Wheeler cousins who I hadn’t yet been introduced to shuffled in late to fill the extra spaces.
While it was traditional for the groom’s parents to host the rehearsal dinner (and Molly and Gerhart had certainly tried), Val and Garrick were anything but traditional. They hosted the dinner themselves.
I thought it was a brilliant idea. The Wheelers and the Fieldmans were already butting heads at every possible occasion, and I could see a rehearsal dinner hosted by Gerhart and Molly turning into a disaster if Justine and Victor started to feel outdone.
We placed our orders and Val tapped her champagne glass, bringing the party to silence.
“I want to make a toast,” she announced.
Everyone grabbed their glasses and Val rose. Garrick stared up at her adoringly, resting one of his hands over hers.
“I wanted to thank you all for coming,” Val said. “Nearly one year ago today, this man asked me to be his wife.” She squeezed Garrick’s hand and met his gaze. “Almost immediately afterward, I called an up and coming wedding planner named Francesca Aurelio in a frenzy.” Val looked to me, smiling. “Now I’m here today with all the people I love most in my life, including my best friend Frankie, who has worked her ass off to make this wedding a success. I couldn’t be happier. Thank you, Frankie.” She swept her gaze over the table. “And thank you all for coming to make our big day the best it could be. I hope you all have a wonderful time and drink lots at the open bar.” She lifted her glass. “Cheers.”
“Cheers,” the table echoed and we all clinked glasses.
My eye met Levi’s over the table and my stomach flipped. I looked away. Apparently, I had not yet taken enough time to settle my feelings. How crazy.
Val sat back down, and Garrick went to stand. To my surprise, Levi cleared his throat and shot to his feet before Garrick did. I looked up at him, frowning. I hadn’t expected Levi to make a speech tonight, not when he was already set to make one tomorrow. He eschewed the spotlight whenever possible.
“Hi everyone, I’m Levi,” he began, dangling a hand from his pocket. “I’m the best man, and tomorrow I’m going to treat you to a variety of hilarious and tear-jerking stories about this handsome man right here.”
Levi clasped Garrick’s shoulder and squeezed. Everyone chuckled.
“Tonight, however, I wanted to say this.” Levi looked down at Val and Garrick. “Garrick, Val, I’m not going to wish you the best. I’m not going to pray for a happy union or hope that everything goes well tomorrow. I don’t need to. You have the kind of love that doesn’t rely on luck or vague promises, and even though sometimes your constant affection is disgusting, you both inspire me every day because you create and maintain your own happiness. I’m delighted to share this journey with you.” He raised his glass. “To Val and Garrick.”
“To Val and Garrick!” the table sang.
As soon as they’d finished toasting, the guests broke out into applause.
Hell, I joined them. I didn’t realize Levi had that kind of sentiment in him.
Val gave me a discreet elbow in the side, and when I tossed her a questioning glance she raised her eyebrows, as if to say, See?
I looked away. Only problem was, if I wasn’t looking at Val, my next obvious choice was Levi. Luckily, Gerhart stood up to make a speech next and gave me a new focal point. I hoped these speeches went on forever so I could focus on them and not on my tumbling mess of emotions, the sticky yet fluffy sensation of hope in my gut.
Though Josh and a couple of the other cousins headed to the bar after dinner, the rest of us prepared for an early night. Val and Garrick went for a walk in the snow before bed, their last walk before they became husband and wife, and I took a detour on the way to my room to visit the plate glass window that had seemed to hold all the secrets of the universe the last time I was at the hotel.
It was just where I’d left it. I could barely make out the garden, though was able to spot the hedges from the strings of white fairy lights hanging off them. Even if I couldn’t see a thing I would still stand there and stare out. It was the perfect place to think, to process, and I hoped that my quiet window contemplation might help quell the anxiety pulsing in my throat.
I always felt nervous before a wedding, even when it ran as smoothly as this one was, but this time there was a little extra sprinkled on top. A little extra something called Levi.
A snowflake hit the window and skittered down. I thought I’d imagined it at first, but then another one swept past, and soon there were dozens of them. I thought of Garrick and Val on their walk, but I wasn’t worried. They were probably laughing and dancing in it, hopelessly in love.
I heard soft footsteps behind me. A guest on the way to their room, I supposed. I was surprised when a figure pulled up beside me.
My heart clenched. I didn’t turn to look at him, knowing I’d be a goner as soon as I did.
“I doubt it,” I said. “I’m going to head to bed. Goodnight.”
I turned on my heel to leave but Levi grasped my arm. “Frankie.”
Swallowing, I met his gaze. “What?”
Jeez, did he have to be so damn good looking? He towered over me, the lines of his face as sharply cut as the lines of his suit. His dark brown eyes searched mine, and then he leaned down and kissed me.
I froze. I wanted to give in. I ached to give in. One brush of his lips over mine and desire pooled thick and hot in my belly, demanding satisfaction.
But the sharp taste of wine danced over my tongue and I knew this wasn’t right.
Levi and I had barely spoken all night, save for the usual polite conversation and things like “pass the salt”. He wasn’t kissing me because he burned for me like I burned for him. He was kissing me because he was wine drunk, horny, and we were both here.
He was kissing me because it was convenient.
I pulled away. Confusion flashed in his eyes, but I turned and made a dash for my room.
“Frankie, wait!” he called after me.
I ignored him, though my feet begged me to stop and go back. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he did mean it.
I blinked back tears, wondering if there was some way I could expel this hope that was turning me inside out.
It was really starting to get on my nerves.
Chapter 33
Frankie
I pulled the shawl tighter around my shoulders, teeth chattering.
“Frankie, I need you to look a little bit less cold,” Dawn, the photographer, said. “Pretend that you’re on a sunny beach somewhere.”
“Got it,” I replied, forcing down a bout of shivers.
Problem was, we weren’t on a sunny beach. We were on the cold, snow covered patio of the restaurant. It served as a stunning backdrop for photos, but left a little to be desired in terms of climate.
Beside me, Val snickered. “Somebody’s in trouble.”
“I’m freezing my tits off,” I muttered. “Why is she taking so long?”
“You were the one who hired her.”
“Because she takes the best photos in Portland,” I replied. “I never realized her secret was torture.”
“Drama queen,” Levi said under his breath. I nearly missed it, since he was on Garrick’s far side, but Levi’s smirk was all I needed to know he’d uttered the words.
“Okay, smile people,” Dawn called.
I amped the wattage of my smile to a near blinding level. Ignoring the cold was one thing, but ignoring Levi’s cavalier attitude all day was another. Either he was doing a superb job of pretending that last night’s kiss debacle never happened, or he was more drunk than I thought and didn’t remember it. All day he’d been smiling, laughing, goofing off with his family, and treating me like it was business as usual.
I knew he couldn’t have been that drunk. That meant he remembered me rejecting him and for some reason it didn’t bother him, which only made me happier that I did reject him.
I was right.
Levi didn’t have any feelings deeper than lust for me and it hurt like hell. But today was not the day for moping, so I’d been doing my best to act as though nothing was wrong and make sure Val and Garrick had the best day possible.
The ceremony went off without a hitch, and we had all the ingredients for a successful reception as well. If my one issue was the invasion of goosebumps on my skin, I could handle that. Photos would be over soon, and then I could go back inside where it was warm and there was alcohol.
“Okay, you’re all set,” Dawn announced a few minutes later. “I’ll see you inside.”
I all but sprinted inside, leaving Garrick and Val in the dust. They still had to make their grand entrance as man and wife, so they couldn’t be seen in the reception hall yet, but I was free and clear to get in there and start drinking. I wasn’t going to get wasted, but a steady buzz would do me just fine.
I slipped in the doors and set the bar in my sights. There was a long line, but a group of Val’s cousins—Josh not included—were milling at the back of it so I didn’t mind. I made a point of getting to know the guests of any wedding I attended, but over the past couple of days I’d cranked my socialization into overdrive since it made it easier to avoid Levi. There were a few people here that I might even consider friends now.
Just as I started walking to the bar, Levi’s deep baritone stopped me in my tracks. “Frankie.”
I winced. So close.
Turning, I offered up a neutral smile. “Hey, what’s up?”
Oh yeah, that sounded casual.
Levi approached me, looking more serious than he had all day. “Can I talk to you?”
Here it was. I didn’t know what he was going to say but I doubted I would enjoy it. Was it too much to ask for just a few hours of peace from him so I didn’t screw up Val’s wedding?
I scrambled for an excuse. “Actually, I was just going to check on the catering. Sorry.”
I zoomed off in the direction of the kitchen and Levi didn’t stop me. They’d probably have some wine in there I could steal a glass of.
The kitchen was a hive of activity. The queen bee, catering manager Claudia Hines, stood at the far end of the room observing the chaos calmly, calling out directions as she saw fit.
“Hey, Claudia,” I greeted.
“Frankie.”
She was a no-nonsense kind of woman, which made her excellent at her job. Didn’t make her a great conversationalist.
“I came to check and see that everything was going well.”
She nodded. “It is.”
I paused a second, trying to decide if avoiding Levi was worth drawing out the conversation. In the end, I decided it wasn’t.
“Great. I’ll see you out there.”
I left the kitchen by the back door, which led me to the hallway outside of the reception hall. I had about fifteen minutes before Garrick and Val made their entrance, so I leaned against the wall and took a minute to breathe.
Xavier turned the corner with a case of wine on his way to the kitchen. He stopped when he saw me, smiling.
“You look absolutely stunning, Frankie,” he said. “Save a dance for me later?” With a wink, he added, “Or will Levi get upset?”
“Levi?” I said with a bark of a laugh. “I think you’re good in that department.”
“You sure?” He hoisted the case up further. “That man is smitten with you, darling.”
I cocked a quizzical brow. “That sounds like something you couldn’t possibly know.”
Xavier, though obviously struggling under the weight of the wine, appeared unruffled as he spoke. “I’ve seen it a million times. He’s a goner.”
“Oh yeah? Seen it a million times with your sage bartender wisdom?”
He snorted. “I’ve seen it a million times just from being a human and interacting with other humans. Being a bartender doesn’t make you a shrink.” He adjusted the box one more time and nodded at me before going to walk away. “I was wise as hell before I ever touched a tap.”
I watched Xavier go, disappearing into the kitchen, wondering if there was any truth in what he said. There couldn’t be. Xavier was a nice guy and a great listener, but I doubted he could pick up on anything more from Levi than I had.
I shook off these thoughts and refocused on the task at hand. The wedding. Val’s wedding. I needed my head in the game since I wasn’t off the clock yet. I still had my speech to make, and I still had to make sure everything went smoothly for the rest of the evening, though I had all the faith in the world in the hotel staff and the people I’d brought in.
I took a breath and walked down to the reception entrance, slipping around the doorframe and scanning the room for signs of Levi. Nothing. Now that he wasn’t here, I started to wonder wha
t he wanted to talk to me about. Realizing this wasn’t a productive use of my brain power, I went to the DJ and double checked that he had everything he needed for the bride and groom’s entrance.
Afterward, I finally grabbed a glass of wine from the bar and loitered near the head table. One minute before the scheduled entrance, Levi appeared at the other side of the table with a glass of whiskey. He didn’t look at me. Was he mad at me now? Had he been about to say something sweet and I screwed everything up?
Gah! This wasn’t the time or the place for me to stress about this!
Thirty seconds.
I took a sip of my wine that turned into more of a chug. I glanced at Levi. Still nothing.
No. Stop looking.
Ten seconds.
I had just enough time to...what? I didn’t have any time at all. This was Val’s wedding.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” the DJ announced.
And my time was up.
I kept stealing glances at Levi throughout dinner. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop wondering what he’d been about to say to me. Xavier had officially ruined me. I’d had a great line of defense before he came along with his stupid observations, and now all the hard work that I’d put into being calm and not thinking about Levi had gone down the drain.
I decided to try my best to worry about it later. I had all night to get through, and I could at least put it off until after Val and Garrick’s first dance.
“Ladies and gentlemen, can I get everyone’s attention to the dance floor.”
Speaking of which.
I followed the flow of the crowd, which formed a circle around where Val and Garrick stood holding each other on the lacquered floor. There were hundreds of guests here, but they only had eyes for each other as the music began to play.
I’d never seen either of them smile with so much unfiltered joy and my eyes stung. If I made it through the night without bawling my eyes out, I would be extremely surprised.
Something caught my eye near the DJ booth and I looked over. Levi stood next to the speakers, leaning over to say something into the DJ’s ear. What was he up to? If he wanted to surprise Val and Garrick with something he should have run it past me. The DJ nodded and gave a thumbs up, and Levi stepped down from the platform.
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