“You can tell a lot about a man in the first five minutes of talking to him,” she said. “What you don’t know is that Sean and I had a conversation yesterday. I wanted to check on you before our next connecting flight, but you were asleep.”
“You talked to Sean about me?”
“Yes, I did. Besides, I know how stubborn you are, so I knew that something must be going on between you two or you probably wouldn’t have agreed to stay at his house.”
She was right. At any time, I could have asked that he take me to Tasha’s house. I was by no means shackled to his bed, but not once had I thought about wanting to leave Sean’s side since he picked me up from the hospital that day.
“Okay, we were dating for a little while before my accident. We had an argument and I broke it off with him. I’m not sure that we’ll ever be together again like you’re suggesting.”
“Are you sure?” My mother was looking at me with one eyebrow arched. “He spoke as if he adored you.”
“It’s a little bit more complicated than you think.” I wasn’t about to tell my mother about Jonathan. I didn’t need anyone else scolding me for dating a married man.
“Well, baby, you’ve got my approval with Sean. That’s if you want it.”
I sighed. It felt so good to hear my mother say those words. But the approval, thanks to my actions, may be a little too late.
After chatting, I used my crutches to get back to the master bedroom. I must have lain in the bed wide-awake for at least an hour before I worried myself to sleep.
* * *
My parents left Sunday afternoon to go back home. They were pretty content that I would be okay with Sean for a few weeks until I could get back on my feet and out looking for a new condo. I don’t know what my father and Sean had talked about late last night when they were out, but he and my father couldn’t stop laughing and joking around. If people didn’t know them, they would think that Sean and my dad were long-time buddies.
I felt helpless as I lay on the couch in Sean’s living room watching Lifetime and eating cheerios. Sean hadn’t been lying when he’d said he didn’t have any groceries or anything to cook with.
If he wanted to keep me here, he was gonna have to get some food. I had offered him a couple hundred dollars for some groceries, but he looked at me as if I were crazy and walked away.
Sean had left me alone in the house because he had to make a visit to one of his rental duplexes. He promised that he would be back in less than two hours, and he’d even called to check on me a couple times. As I sat alone in the oversized bed, my mind wondered to Sean and the relationship we had before. Would I be in this predicament now if we’d never split up? Had I used Jonathan as a distraction? As an attempt to get over the fact that I trusted Sean and still loved him despite how hurt I was by what he’d been hiding? I had been wrong about Sean. I knew that now, but why did it take me so long to figure it out? Was I afraid of commitment more than he was?
26
When I’d gotten up that morning, I’d half expected him to be gone to work. It was Monday. For the past few nights, he had slept in the guest bedroom next to me. When I’d gotten downstairs to the kitchen, I was surprised to see him at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper. Breakfast was on the stove. When I questioned him, he admitted that he’d taken the day off, but would go back to work starting tomorrow morning. In my eyes, he had been working since the moment I’d gotten downstairs when the phone rang and he started talking about basements, plumbing, and whatnot.
He was a hard worker, and he deserved everything he had. I didn’t want to take that away from him. He deserved someone who was going to compliment him.
“NO!” Suddenly, Sean was shouting on the phone. “No, that’s not what I told him to do…tell him I need the leak fixed by tomorrow morning, ASAP…I have inspectors coming out and I don’t need any delays…well, if he had listened…look, call him and tell him what I said and I’ll hit you back this evening. I’ve got to go!” Sean hung up the phone and groaned as if he was fed up.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just some things that need to get done and my guys are slacking off like we have all the time in the world.”
“Don’t worry. Everything will be all right.”
He smiled.
After breakfast, Sean drove me to the tow company to check out my car and grab my belongings. When we pulled up in the lot, my stomach immediately turned sour as I spotted my white BMW amongst other wrecked cars. My Beemer was so smashed up on the left driver side and front bumper that I almost had a heart attack just looking at it. I could have died out there on that highway.
“Oh…” I started breathing heavily as Sean pulled up closer.
“I had no idea…maybe we should have waited a little longer before coming out here.” He looked as devastated as I felt.
“That is terrible, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. But I’m so glad that you’re okay.”
We got out of the SUV and walked into the office so that they could assist me in getting my belongings out of the car. After confirming with my insurance company where the vehicle was located and retrieving my cell phone and other belongings from the glove compartment and trunk, I took one last look at my car and we drove away.
* * *
I got ready for bed early that night and spent the extra time on my laptop checking my emails. Jeffrey had sent Sandra over here after lunchtime to bring me work. After she had filled me in on what was going on at the office, she complimented me on the house. Before I could correct her, she turned on her heels and left. Sean had left to run some errands and wasn’t here at the time, so she probably wouldn’t learn about whose home this really was until later. I was seated on the bed in boy-cut pajama shorts and a tank top when Sean knocked at the door.
“You know, you don’t have to knock on your own bedroom door. Besides, I don’t know why you sleep in the room next to me like I’m diseased or something,” I said as he sat over on the bed beside me.
“You know that’s not what I think, Karlina. I just want you to feel comfortable, and I don’t want to give you a reason to leave.”
“Well, I feel like you don’t want anything to do with me or something,” I said, smoothing a jasmine smelling lotion over my arms and legs.
“I want everything to do with you and you know that. Sleeping in the bed with you would only make me think about you as we were before…you know…sexually intimate.”
“And you don’t want that?”
“I do want that, but…”
I crossed my legs and gave him my undivided attention.
“I don’t want to be too forceful. I know that you and what’s-his-name may still have feelings for one another.”
So, that was it? He thought that I was still holding out for Jonathan. If that was what he thought, then why would he allow me to stay at his home for so long?
When I didn’t say anything, he continued, “I mean, I’m a little confused myself and I want to beat myself up for wanting to keep you here if you want to be with someone else. I know I can’t win your love by keeping you here all to myself and using your lack of mobility as an excuse.”
“Sean, I want to be here.” I grabbed his hand and squeezed it, wishing I could tell him more, wishing that I could tell him that Jonathan had played me for a fool and that I’d made a mistake, that I’d wanted to be with him since day one and that had never changed, despite my posturing.
“I have always loved you. I never stopped loving you. Not even when you refused me. Not even when you moved on and flaunted the proof in my face. I will always love you.”
As he said those words again, they were like music to my ears. The only thing was, I still wasn’t ready to say it back.
He pulled his hands away from mine as if he were disappointed that I didn’t say anything, and then he said, “I have two brothers from my crew coming to play some pool and maybe some cards. They should be here any moment if you want to co
me down to meet them. We’ll be down in the basement most of the night.”
He got up.
“I’ll be down in a minute,” I said as he disappeared.
When he’d left, I realized that I had left my duffel bag with more clothing from my apartment and some other belongings downstairs. If I wanted to change into something decent before those guys came over, I would need to go and get my bag, now.
When I walked downstairs and turned the corner into the kitchen, Sean was leaned over the counter with his head in his hands.
“Sean?” I startled him, and he stood up straight. He didn’t look so well. “What’s wrong?”
“Karlina, obviously I misunderstood you.”
“W—what are you talking about?” I searched his face for answers.
“What am I talking about? I’ll show you what I’m talking about.” He walked over to the other side of the kitchen and picked up my cell phone that was sitting on the wet bar. He slid his fingers across the screen and began reading.
“I miss you. I can’t stop thinking about you…that one was sent three days ago…Karlina, please call me. I filed for divorce this morning. She’s not pregnant. She lied because she knew I would leave her.…” Sean was laughing. He was laughing, but he looked angry as hell. “Wait, here goes another…I keep thinking about how bad I want to fuck you right now. We never got to do that. Give me a chance. It’s Monday again and I miss seeing your sexy ass at my gym…”
I walked over to Sean and snatched the cell phone out of his hands in disbelief. Embarrassed and humiliated, I searched the phone and confirmed that Jonathan had been sending me text messages since Friday afternoon while my cell phone was in my glove compartment. I hadn’t bothered looking at the phone when I’d retrieved it from my car earlier, and it must have been on the kitchen counter since we got back today. I covered my mouth with my hands and gasped as I looked at the over twenty messages that Jonathan had sent me, most of them intimate, with explicit details about us.
Sean was looking at me in disbelief and his breath had quickened.
“Sean, this is…this is not what you think.”
“Not what I think? You’re right, it’s not what I think. The evidence is right there, I don’t have to think about anything. You still want him, don’t you?”
“No!”
“Well, if you don’t want me…you must want him. But a married man?”
“No, I don’t want him.”
“You actually made him leave his wife?” he gawked. “I’ve got to agree with this bastard, your pussy is amazing, but you made him divorce his wife? Oh, you’re good.”
“No, look, Sean. If you calm down, I can explain everything that happened. I didn’t know he was married. He lied, and—”
“Do you think that I’m an idiot? Do you honestly think for one second that I’m going to be your sucker? I made a fool of myself and all you could think about was going to fuck him?”
“I don’t—”
“Is sex so goddamn important in your life that you have to sleep with that bastard?”
I was getting just as fed up as Sean, as we both stood there in the kitchen infuriated with each other. He was talking nonsense and wouldn’t shut up so that I could explain, so that I could tell him that I was the fool for believing Jonathan and that he was right.
“Let me finish, I—”
He interrupted me again. “—I love you to death, Karlina, and all you can do is think about the next time you want to lay on your back and open your legs so he can play there!”
His words were like a knife in my stomach. I reached up and slapped Sean across the face before I could stop myself. “Don’t ever talk to me that way!”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” He lowered his head then looked up and reached out to me.
I pushed his hands back down and half ran, half hopped back to the stairs.
“Karlina!”
He was behind me, trying to bring me closer to him. I snatched away from him and covered my face, trying to hide the tears that were streaming down my cheeks.
“I’m sorry! I snapped,” he called after me. “Let’s talk, please…I’m sorry!” It was too late. I slammed the door in his face and locked it.
27
I must have cried myself to sleep last night because when I woke up, it was morning and my pillowcase was dampened with tears. I walked over to the door and it was still locked, which told me that he hadn’t been in the room at all. I looked at my cell and confirmed that it was past seven in the morning. Shit! I had promised Jeffrey that I would call him this morning at seven thirty. I threw on a pair of jeans, grabbed my briefcase with the laptop, and went downstairs. Hopefully, Sean wasn’t down there. I had plans to call a cab so that I could get the hell up out of his house. I was greeted by a bundle of long-stem white roses tied with white ribbon on the kitchen counter. There was a note posted beside it. I picked it up and began to read.
Karlina,
I’m an idiot. I am so sorry that I’ll apologize to you for the rest of my life if you want me to. I was very selfish last night and didn’t allow you time to tell me your side of the story. Now I understand how it feels to have a bombshell dropped on you out of nowhere.
I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me for my actions and insults from last night. I never wanted to hurt you. From day one, I knew that you were something special and you’ll always be that something special in my life. No matter what you do, I will always love you.
Love, Sean.
P.S. I will be home later this afternoon. Please don’t leave.
The letter was articulately written. It was the perfect “I’m sorry” letter. Whether I would believe it or not, I didn’t know. Besides, how the fuck could I leave with no car?
One thing was certain: there was food. Sean must have done some major grocery shopping after my request because every shelf on the refrigerator was filled. Even the pantry had been fully stocked. I knew more than anything else that the deciding factor for me staying in his home would never be because of the endless supply of free food. I wanted to be here with Sean.
After grabbing a bagel and cream cheese from the fridge, I set up my workstation in Sean’s kitchen and made the phone call to my boss, Jeffrey.
* * *
Early that afternoon, I was in Sean’s kitchen mixing the final ingredients for the salad that I was preparing for lunch. I had worked diligently this morning, catching up on email and returning clients’ phone calls that I had missed from last week. I decided that I would take the rest of the day off to search for new condo listings. I had made plans with movers to help me box the rest of my belongings so that as soon as I found a condo I would be ready to move.
As I waited for the chicken breast to grill perfectly on each side, I walked over to Sean’s pantry and began organizing his canned goods by category, without thinking. The one thing that Sean was right about was that I was bored. I was ready to go back to work and get on with my busy life. I also discovered his stash of Twizzlers. Who in the world had almost every flavor of Twizzlers imaginable?
When I was content that all the canned goods and other grocery items were organized in the pantry based on category and use-by date, I went back to preparing my salad. I was getting ready to chop the chicken when I heard keys turn in the side door. It was Sean. I thought he wasn’t supposed to be home for another two hours. His note had said late afternoon, not lunchtime.
He walked in with several shopping mall bags in his arms and his keys between his teeth. He kicked the door shut with his feet and looked at me. He slid the bags on the counter in front of him and took the keys from his mouth. “Hi.”
“Hi,” I mumbled, mixing the salad. “I thought you weren’t scheduled to be here until after lunch.”
“I called you a couple hours ago to check with you about lunch and it said something about the number no longer being in service. Do you need to pay your phone bill? I’ll call in the payment on my credit card i
f you need me to.”
“I called my cell company and changed my phone number this morning.” I took two salad bowls from the cabinets above me. “Would you like some salad?”
“Yes, please,” he said and then pulled up two bar stools to the counter and sat on one so that he was sitting opposite of me.
He watched me as I dished the salad, added the salad dressing, and handed him the bowl. “Did you get some work done?” He began stuffing forkfuls of salad into his mouth.
“Yes, I was just getting ready to do a search for rental condos before you came,” I said, taking a seat in the empty bar stool next to him.
“I talked to your dad today,” he said, nonchalantly, leaning back in his bar stool as he observed me as I finished my salad.
“About what?” What was he doing calling my parents?
“About you.”
I looked at him, dubiously. “About last night?”
“No, of course not. I was a complete idiot last night and I apologize again.”
“That’s okay. I deserved it.”
I had been doing some thinking, and I realized that if I had told Sean from the beginning what had gone down with Jonathan and me, then he never would have come to his own conclusions. I realized that it was unintentional payback for what had happened when I’d discovered that he and Jessica had been intimate before he met me and he’d never told me about it. However, I had not intentionally meant to duplicate the situation and throw it up in his face.
“You didn’t deserve any of that. I was so mad that I wasn’t thinking straight. I was thinking last night and then I put two and two together and it all made sense.”
“Does it really make sense to you?”
“Well, I kind of figured that you aren’t the type to have a relationship with a married man. Did you know about him being married?”
“Absolutely not. I never would have dated him. The only reason I found out when I did was because of the accident. Eva said his wife was there with him at the hospital, and he confirmed it. Now that I think about it, I just wanted company and a friend. I also think he was just confused and needed someone to talk to.” I couldn’t believe that I was defending Jonathan.
Seduced by Sin: Sean (Rugged Riders #3) Page 16
