Liana busted out laughing. “This is the craziest shit I’ve ever heard in my life. You want me to call you by his name, too?”
Rasheem only responded by tapping the bed again. Liana would’ve kicked him out a long time ago, but her not wanting to be alone convinced her into seeing if Rasheem’s arms would deaden her obsession with Wayne. She kicked off her shoes and lay next to him.
She turned on her side and rested her head on his chest as she felt his arm come down across her back.
“This is corny,” she said, tensing up.
“Shh, relax.” Rasheem started caressing her back.
Liana shook her head. Fuck it. If I didn’t want to see if this bullshit could work, I wouldn’t have laid down in the first place. She closed her eyes and inhaled. The scent of Fahrenheit intoxicated her more than the liquor did. She could feel the steady beat of Rasheem’s heart. The warmth of his body began melting the tenseness out from her shoulders. Her eyes popped open as flashbacks of her lying in Wayne’s arms raced through her mind. She smiled, not believing how real the flashbacks felt. She closed her eyes and pressed herself closer to Rasheem, determined to feed her need for love without having to have intercourse.
“Feeling better?” Rasheem asked, as he swept her hair from her neck.
Liana didn’t respond, but for Rasheem, that’s all he needed to hear.
Liana could feel his eyes staring down at her. She knew if she looked up, her eyes would tell him to forget everything she said about being friends, and handle your business. A question came to her mind that she had to know the answer to. She casually raised her knee and brushed it across his crotch. He was rock hard. What the hell am I doing? Fuck you Wayne. You moved on with your life. I’m tired of torturing myself. I got a man in my bed that’s ready to do whatever, and I’m saving myself for you?
Liana could feel her breaths getting shorter as she worked her knee in tiny circles on his hardness. Once you do this, there’s no turning back, girl. I’m about moving forward, anyway, fuck turning back. Liana lifted her head and stared into Rasheem’s eyes. Only, his eyes were covered with his eyelids.
“Rasheem.” She nudged him. “Rasheem.” She nudged him again.
“Umm Hmm, yeah, a couple more minutes, and I’m gonna take y’all to school,” He rolled over, giving Liana his back to stare at.
Liana shook her head. So much for the dry season being over.
***
Rasheem moaned as he rolled over onto his back. His head felt like it was under a church bell, and two construction workers with sledgehammers were swinging for broke. He sat up and looked down at his bare legs. Where’s my pants. He whipped his head around and immediately regretted it. His head stopped spinning but the room didn’t. When the room finally stopped, he pulled his briefs open and checked himself. He sighed a breath of relief when he didn’t see any vaginal juices on his shaft. He would’ve cried if they had gotten it on, because he couldn’t remember a damn thing after kicking off his shoes and telling her to lie next to him.
He grabbed his pants that was draped over the chair and pulled them on. Once he got his bearings, he shuffled out into the living room.
Liana was sitting with her legs tucked under her thighs, wearing pajama pants and a white tank top. Her hair was pinned up with a wisp of hair hanging down the side of her face. She had her glasses on, pad in hand, and pen cap in her mouth.
“You look like a sexy ass school teacher,” Rasheem said, noticing for the first time that his chin was throbbing.
Liana looked up at him, and then dropped her head back to her letter.
“If you were my teacher, I would’ve failed your class on purpose just so I could take it over and over again.”
When Liana still didn’t respond, he looked at his watch. It was one o’clock. “Damn! I can’t believe I slept so hard and for so long. That liquor really put me out. I’m so embarrassed. Speaking of which, I didn’t do anything embarrassing last night, did I?”
“Aside from you scaring the shit out of me when you tried to jump in the shower with me? No, you didn’t do anything embarrassing. How’s your chin by the way?”
Rasheem held his head down in shame. “I can’t believe I played myself like that. You can’t hold that against me. You know if I was in my right state of mind—”
“You wouldn’t have slipped and banged your chin on the bathroom sink when I screamed and pulled the shower curtain closed?”
“That’s why my jaw’s sore?”
“Nah, your jaw’s sore, because when I was dragging your heavy ass to the bed, you pulled my towel off, and I popped you.”
Rasheem desperately searched his mind for the naked moment. Of all the times to black out. “I’m never drinking like that again.”
“There’s some orange juice in the fridge.” Liana pointed with her pen, as she focused back on her letter.
Rasheem walked to the fridge and poured himself a glass. He gulped it down and placed the glass in the sink. “I’m out. I know JD’s cursing me out for having to hold the store down until I get there.” Rasheem read the numerous text messages on his cell. Yeah, JD was cursing him out.
Liana nodded, as she seemed to be doing well with her letter. Rasheem looked down at her, dying to know that sliver of history that she refused to share with him.
“See you Monday,” he said, as he headed for the door.
“Definitely.”
“And Liana?”
She turned and looked at him.
“Please don’t tell JD about this.”
“About what?” she smiled.
“Exactly,” Rasheem said, closing the door behind himself.
Liana looked at the pad, and was disgusted with her handwriting. That’s why she always typed her letters. She thought back to the first letter she had submitted to the Parole Board. Mrs. Watkins said it was good, but asked if she could write it rather than type it. “A typed letter,” she said, “is too impersonal.” Liana sucked her teeth when she misspelled devastated. Oh how she needed the spell check on her computer right now. She tried to change the i to an a, but it only made things worst. She flung the pad across the room and pulled her glasses off.
Why am I even writing this fucking letter? They should have a copy of the last three I wrote. What are the chances of the Board letting him out, anyway? She thought back to Nana’s words. Every time she wrote a letter to the Board, it was like convicting her father all over again, because she knew her letter was a guaranteed twenty-four month hit at the Board for him. Liana thought back to all the mistakes she made in life and how Nana had forgiven her. She thought of all the times she had broken Wayne’s heart, and he had forgiven her and had taken her back. Where would I be if the ones I loved didn’t forgive me?
“It’s not even about him,” Nana’s words echoed in her head. “It’s about you moving on.” Moving on. Those two words reverberated in her head until something clicked. She finally understood what her grandmother meant by moving on.
She picked up the phone and dialed a number from memory.
“Hello?”
“It’s me.” She could hear the lawnmower rattling in the background.
“Hold on a minute,” Wayne said, as he cut off the lawnmower. “I’m surprised to hear from you.”
“I don’t want to take up too much of your time, but we really need to talk.”
“Okay… talk.”
“Face to face.” Liana could hear Wayne sigh.
“I don’t know, Liana—”
“It’s about my father… and Ron and what happened at Sneaky Petes.”
“Liana, don’t do this to me.”
“Please, Wayne. If it wasn’t important, I wouldn’t be calling you.” Liana noticed she was holding her breath, waiting for Wayne to respond.
“When’s the next time you coming up to Albany?”
“Well… I was kind of hoping you would come down here.”
CHAPTER 14
Wayne took the Hillside Avenue exit like L
iana told him, and turned onto Francis Lewis Boulevard. He checked out the landscaping of the properties he drove past, cringing at the sight of uncut lawns, untrimmed hedges, and houses that were yelling “paint me.” I could make a killing out here. He was so engrossed in the scenery that he almost missed Liana waving from the other side of the street. He pulled over and let her hop in.
“I thought you were going to keep going for a second,” she said, breathing a little hard from the brisk walk to the Land Rover.
“I was checking out the neighborhood.”
“Yeah, right, you were probably looking at all the un-kept lawns, and thinking about maybe coming down here on the weekends to make some extra money.”
“I was not,” Wayne said unconvincingly. “There’s plenty of work in Albany for me to tend to.”
Liana turned around in her seat and looked in the back.
“What are you looking for?” Wayne asked.
“Just making sure you didn’t bring your lawnmower.”
Wayne busted out laughing. On his way to her place, he decided he was going to keep it as frosty as possible because he knew how fast things could heat up between them, but she always had a way of melting him quicker than a snowflake.
“I’m not always about work, you know? Even though that’s what Tammy thinks I’m doing now. If she knew I was down here in the city meeting with you, she would kick my ass, literally.” Wayne eased his foot off the brake pedal. “So, where do I go from here?”
“Turn down here,” Liana said, pointing.
When they pulled up, Wayne stared at her lawn.
“The owner usually comes by on the weekends to mow it,” Liana said, reading his mind.
“Looks like he missed the last three.”
“I didn’t call you down here for your lawn expertise, Mr. Wayne ‘the Lawn Lord’ Dupree.”
“What did you call me all the way down here for, Liana?”
“Can we at least get inside?”
Wayne looked up at her place, and then back to her. Without saying a word, he turned off the ignition and stepped out. He followed her up the steps and inside. He noticed how clean her apartment was. “You must really have something important to talk about, ‘cause you straightened up.”
“My place is always this clean.”
Wayne gave her the remember-who-you-talking-to-look.
“It’s almost always this clean,” she said, walking toward the fridge. “You want soda or juice?”
“Juice is fine.” Wayne sat on the living room couch. He noticed the typed letter to the Parole Board. He lifted his eyes from it when Liana brought the drinks and sat next to him on the couch, at arm’s distance.
“Thanks.” He grabbed the glass from her. “I see you decided to type it this time,” he said looking toward the letter.
“Yeah, fuck Watkins and her handwritten theory bullshit.”
Wayne responded to the silence by taking another sip of his juice.
“Wayne…” Liana looked away from him so he wouldn’t see the pain accumulating in her eyes. “I know I don’t have to, but I just want to thank you for what you did at the club that night.”
Wayne waved his hand dismissively. “That’s history. Don’t put yourself through the pain of bringing it back up.”
“I should’ve told the police what happened.”
“And what would they have done? Trust me, his days are numbered.”
The look on Wayne’s face stopped Liana’s next question in her throat. But she had to know the truth in order to move on.
“Wayne,” she said, starting to fidget. “I really don’t know how to ask you this.”
“Just come out and ask it.”
“Remember the night when we had that argument?”
“Which night?”
“The night I was at your house and Ron called?”
“What about it?” He turned his glass up to finish his juice.
“Did Ron show up that night looking for me?”
Wayne stopped drinking. Liana stopped breathing.
“What made you want to ask me that?”
“Did he?” Her voice tensed.
“No,” he said, turning his gaze away from her. “He didn’t come looking for you.”
Liana closed her eyes, not wanting to believe that Wayne had just lied to her.
Wayne put his glass down on the coffee table. “He came looking for me.”
Liana’s head shot back up.
“A half hour after you left, he came banging on my door shouting for me to come outside. When I opened the door, I could smell the liquor on his breath. We argued for a second, and then I slammed the door in his face. That’s when he yelled that I should look out the window.
Liana was listening so intently that she didn’t realize her mouth was hanging open.
“When I looked outside, he was keying my truck. I ran out and we started tussling.”
Liana could see the beads of sweat forming on his forehead as he re-told the story. She imagined them rolling on the ground in the driveway.
“He was too drunk to put up a fight. After I hit him a couple times, he stumbled off to his car and took off.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
Wayne’s shoulders slumped. “I wanted to tell you about the scuffle we had, but you were already going through a lot. The last thing I wanted to do was add stress to your already stressful life. Then when I found out that Ron was killed that night…”
Liana put her hand on top of his. “I know you didn’t kill him. I’ve known you my whole life; I know you’re not a killer.”
“I should’ve been straight up with you.”
“What’s done is done. We need to move on.”
“We?” Wayne looked confused. “What do you mean by we?”
Liana picked up the letter from the coffee table and handed it to him to read. “This is the last letter I’m ever writing to the Parole Board.”
Wayne took it from her, and began reading it. Every now and then, he would look up at her puzzled. “With a letter like this, you won’t have to write another one.” Wayne put it down. “Why am I really here, Liana? What are you really trying to do here?”
Liana looked into his eyes, allowing him to look at her soul stripped of the hatred she had for him when she lost their baby, stripped of the seething wrath she had for her father. “Whenever we broke up and we met back up, I knew we were going to get back together.”
“And how would you know that?” Wayne asked, as he leaned back on the couch.
“I could tell when I looked into your eyes. You never hid how you felt about me. It’s obvious to anyone who knows you.”
“What do you see in my eyes, now?” He stared at her.
Liana stared right back. “I see a man who loves me even when I give him every reason to hate me.” She touched the side of his face. “I just wanted to say I’m so sorry for taking your love for granted.”
Wayne instinctively reached out and caught the first tear that rolled off her cheek. He then quickly backed away from her and stood up. “I have to go.”
She nodded, weakly. “Maybe I’ll see you around.”
Wayne left without saying a word. Tears streamed down his face before he made it to his truck. He bit his bottom lip as he pulled off, fighting his nature to turn around and comfort the only person he’d ever loved with all of his soul. The road was a blur through his waterfall of tears. Twice, he almost turned around, but remembered the promise he made to Tammy—He would never put Liana before her.
He finally understood why Liana wanted to see him face to face. She wanted permission to move on. She had to look into his soul and ask his permission, something she couldn’t do over the phone. He wiped his tears with the back of his hand and rummaged through the CDs Taz left in his truck. He popped in Trey Songs and found himself mumbling the words. “Look at what this girl done did to me. She done cut me off from a good, good love. She told me that those days were gone. Now I’m sitting here
going half crazy, ‘cause I know she still thinks about me too, and there ain’t no way in hell that I can be just friends with you…”
When Wayne left Liana’s, she picked up the letter to the Parole Board and ripped it in half. Wayne’s expression told her what she needed to know. She printed out the alternative letter she typed last night, and placed it in an eight by eleven envelope addressed to the Chairman of The Parole Board.
***
Liana worked the register all afternoon. The only time she left was when she ran across the street to the drug store. JD and his two assistants were working the floor, making sales left and right while Rasheem worked in his office taking inventory, and setting up a meeting with a guy in Buffalo. It seemed as if Rasheem and Indio were in the makings of opening up a store there, as well.
Liana peeked in his office every now and then to check on him. As she walked towards his office, this time, it was to tell him they were closing up. She stopped short, when she heard Rasheem yelling at whoever was on the other end of the phone. She decided to barge in anyway.
“JD and I are closing up.”
Rasheem covered the phone and nodded, “Good looking. I’ll be down in a minute. Let me just finish up this call with Indio.”
Rasheem talking to Indio like that?
“Oh, and don’t forget our date, tonight,” Rasheem said as an afterthought.
“Date? You’re doing my taxes. I hardly call that a date.”
“I just wanted to remind you.” Rasheem saluted her, and looked at the door.
Twenty minutes later, Rasheem came down, counted the money, and put it into the bank deposit bag.
“I’m out,” JD said, grabbing his knapsack. “It’s Saturday night, just got paid, and the club is jumping. See you in the p.m.”
“You mean the a.m.,” Rasheem said seriously.
“If the pussy is all that, you won’t ever see me again.”
“Get out of here,” Liana and Rasheem said at the same time.
JD pulled his fitted cap over his head, threw up the peace sign, and headed toward the bus stop.
“He’s so stupid,” Liana said, as she gathered her stuff.
Soul Dancing Page 16
