A few weeks ago, such ribald humor would have devastated him. Now laughing with her, he swatted her sheet-covered bottom, making her squirm. “You are scandalous, ma petite femme,” he scolded her in mock severity.
“You love it when I talk dirty to you.” She rolled a little and looked at him through the hair that was over her face, one visible green eye sparkling at him.
Perrin tried to look stern; he was an autocratic music teacher after all. Instead, he brushed the hair from her face. “I love it when you are open and honest. Do not shut me out, or try to get yourself killed.”
Perrin had come a long way, and she was proud of him. He was open with giving and receiving affection, had been coming to group therapy at the castle. Hell, he and Aleksei were positively tight now. Even Trocar was kind to him.
Once Trocar and Finian designed a suitable magic-dampening field, Perrin had been freer to compose his haunting, erotic, magical music; with or without the windows in the guesthouse open. His musically enhanced glamour was contained to the house itself with no spillage, thus preventing another orgy like the one weeks earlier. Since then things had progressed rather rapidly in his therapy.
He watched Gillian as she studied him back. As always, he was amazed by her ability to be so completely altruistic, so completely absorbed by what her patient, in this case himself, might need or want. It reminded him strangely of the night she’d taken on Jack the Ripper.
Perrin still had dreams about that night. How close she’d come to dying at the hands of that psychopathic monster, using herself as bait to find her friend. Since then, his level of respect for her had grown along with admiration for her skill and bravery.
He, like Aleksei, loved her for everything that she was. Only Aleksei was free to express that feeling for the little blonde; Perrin could not. To do so would be to risk being banished from her forever. When he was stable and could function, he would be discharged from her care. Then there would be no contact whatsoever after that for at least a year.
Perrin was secretly a little daunted by the prospect of being without her sheltering presence. At the same time, he was beginning to actually think of a life outside the safety of the compound as a possibility. Thinking like that scared him but it encouraged him too.
Right now, he didn’t have to think about being without her. Gillian was here, in his bed, in his arms, warm and alive. And squirming. “Perrin, don’t have a death grip on the woman, let her know you want her close, but don’t cut off the blood supply to her brain,” she instructed him crossly.
“I am sorry, ma bien-aimée. I wasn’t thinking,” Perrin said softly.
Gillian turned and looked into those wondrous gray green eyes. “That’s the problem, you were thinking. Is everything all right?”
Perrin met her gaze easily now. He loved to see the genuine compassion and concern in the emerald depths. Only now he had an inkling of the horrors those eyes had seen; it brought the instinct to keep her safe and sheltered roaring to life.
“Everything is fine, thank you,” he assured her, skimming the backs of his knuckles down her throat to lightly tease her coral nipple. He bent his dark head to taste her; tongue now expertly flicking it to pebbled hardness.
Gillian gasped as his hot mouth closed on her. Heat flooded her pelvis as he teased her breast with his teeth. Her hand moved between them to his semierect flesh and felt him spring to full hardness at her touch.
Perrin had been shy about initiating contact but even worse about her touching him. It brought a small flash of victory to her, to know that he wasn’t afraid anymore, that she could touch him at will and have him be comfortable enough to respond to it.
They’d been experimenting with all aspects of sex. Perrin had had an enormous problem with the thought of oral sex until recently. Once she convinced him to try it, both giving and receiving, he had been an enthusiastic pupil, adding another accomplishment to his growing repertoire of expertise.
At the moment, however, Perrin’s Gargoyle sex receptors snapped on line with the sensations of touch, taste and scent he was getting from her; diverting all his thought and a certain level of his blood supply to what Gillian referred to as the “battle bridge.”
Instincts honed from thousands of years of Gargoyle evolution and time immemorial in the Sidhe demanded that he mate with her immediately. Fully erect, his penis was enhanced by the equidistant ridges that were characteristic of a sexually mature Gargoyle male.
Though Gillian insisted on using a condom, Perrin longed to enter her freely, feel her actual flesh around him, carry her scent on him after she left. Gods above, she was wet already. A new surge of blood tidal waved into his penis, and he groaned.
“Condom!” Gillian gasped as his fingers stroked inside her and she moved restlessly against his hand.
Perrin had hardly turned over to retrieve the latex covering from its foil pouch before Gillian pushed his shoulders back, and straddled him. His glamour was filling the room, pouring into both of them, and they hurried to slide the condom on. Gill rose up, first taking his hand to show him, then letting Perrin position his body under her own. They hadn’t tried female superior yet and this was as good a time as any.
As he gripped her hips to lower her over him, Perrin locked eyes with her, loving the look she got whenever he filled her completely. Gillian’s head was back, exposing the line of her throat, her breasts tantalizingly before his eyes. The feeling of her tight and hot, opening slowly as he pressed inside, brought a fresh rush of blood to his now aching flesh. The bands of muscle in her canal gripped him like a fist, beginning the friction that would send them spinning into orgasm.
He was gentle, holding back on his instinct to thrust until he was sure she was fully stretched for him. He wasn’t quite sure what to expect from this new position and gritted his teeth to wait for her example. When Gillian began a slow, sexy ride on him, he was undone.
Over the weeks he had learned to read a woman’s body, to gauge her reaction and time her climax with his own. He found himself having to think of everything but what she was doing on him to keep from exploding right away.
“I never dreamed you could be more beautiful than I thought already.” The musical deep voice with its unique lilting French-Sidhe accent was strained as she leaned back, letting him see their bodies parting and joining.
Panting with restraint as she moved on him, he gritted his teeth, admitting to her, “Gillian, it is too intense, feeling you and watching you like this. I need . . . I need . . .”
Before she could answer or he could finish his sentence, a growl started deep in his throat. Then he was dragging her arms up over her head with one hand, rolling her under him, his other arm going under her bottom to lift her line higher and open her farther until he was pressed against her cervix. He held there, breathing heavily, tension obvious on his face.
“I need to mate, Gillian. I am trying to cooperate, but the Gargoyle in me demands something else today.”
“Tell me.” She was breathing heavily and shifting up against him, eyes dilated and lips parted.
Perrin’s voice was guttural, deep, full of sex. “I have yet to know what sex is like without a barrier. Let me mate with you, ma bien-aimée, truly mate. Allow me the experience of your true flesh. Permit me release with no impediment.”
The term he used: mating. He was the product of a rape between a Gargoyle and a half-blooded Music Sidhe. When he said mating, he meant it. She was a female; the male was dominant in the Gargoyle species. That meant sex to deposit seed. He’d been studying up on his blended physiology apparently.
She couldn’t get pregnant by him; she was on the pill. Perrin hadn’t been with anyone but her and was disease free, as was she. Aleksei couldn’t contract anything back from her; being a Vampire, he was immune to illness and disease. Maybe once wouldn’t hurt.
Stroking his hair, caressing his back, feeling him trembling with desire, and his instinctive, cell-deep need hammering at her empathy, she relented. He
needed this for some reason and she was all right with it.
“All right. Let’s do it.”
The perfect, sculpted face rose, and once again she felt the shock of the distraction of the mask against that beauty. His eyes held all of his anguish, all of his joy. They mirrored his soul and gave it to her in that moment.
“Are you sure?” He hardly dared breathe for fear he hadn’t heard her right.
“Take off the condom, then get back here.”
He eased out of her, practically tearing the condom off once he was withdrawn. Elegant fingers, artistic hands, which could command the most beautiful music from a violin, piano or pipe organ, softly caressed the inside of her thighs as he looked at her dark pink glistening folds. Dipping his head, he tasted her sweetness, reveled in her.
The sensation was powerful as he plied her with his lips and tongue, making her writhe as he held her hips down with one arm across her pelvis. Fresh blood surged to his groin as he became aware of her impending orgasm. Abruptly stopping before completing the act, he lifted his head and started to crawl up her body, gently probing at her opening with his unencumbered flesh for the first time.
“Perrin!” Gillian complained, moving her hips. “Don’t stop now!”
Taking her mouth, he kissed her deeply, relishing the sensation as his ridged erection found the perfect angle to slowly press inside her. It felt . . . incredible. The tight silken bands of her passage were slick with arousal, gripping his hardened flesh, welcoming him into her heat. Something wild and predatory reared its head within him, knowing that he was sheathed within her with no barrier between them.
Perrin wanted to make this perfect moment last, but the awareness of his unprotected state overrode his intentions. He groaned into her mouth. That was what he needed. What his body needed. He felt a brief emission of semen like a jolt through his groin as he pressed against her cervix. Instinctively he knew what it was for.
Gillian felt it too. The abrupt orgasm his semen caused overwhelmed her in a rippling, gasping rush. Perrin felt her come, the scent of her orgasm rocked him, driving his hips and tightening his hold on her.
“Like that, mon amour, yes,” he encouraged her, turning her face to his own and looking into her eyes, reveling in the pleasure he found there.
Perrin tensed, feeling another brief jolt of semen against her Human cervix. His body was impatient and demanded her cooperation.
“Ma passionnée, relax for me. The fluid will open your body to me. Trust me, I would never hurt you.” His voice shook, and his glamour flared, pouring into and over their bodies.
She felt him going deeper, then understood what he meant. Her cervix was softening and thinning, the result of his semen leaking into her. Her newly opening body was taking him in farther with each thrust.
Perrin pushed her hands back up, holding her in a submissive posture under him. His instincts took them into a turbulent Gargoyle mating frenzy. The waves of delight washed over them as his glamour intensified the experience.
Incredibly at that moment, her cervix acquiesced to the insistent probing and allowed him complete entrance to her womb. The imperative need to ejaculate slammed into him like a freight train as his ridged cock slipped through the widened opening. His body knew and responded. Instantly the hard ridges flattened out, extending his length by several inches and sliding him fully inside her womb.
He cried out, his now smooth erection skating over the cervical ridge to its final destination. The sensation brought the completion of their mating surging upward through his shaft hot and fast. Their bodies were welded together, his locked tightly within hers, his glamour enhancing every nuance of sensation.
Gillian crashed over the edge first, watching the tension in his face as he arched back, straining into her. His body expelled heavy jets in a torrid wave, the liquid heat and literal vibration from his climax triggering her again and again in a breathless rush as he poured into her.
Perrin could hardly breathe. The feeling for him was like sex and fellatio all rolled into one. A sensation so strong that he nearly blacked out. As the final shudders left his body, he gathered her tenderly in his arms, kissing her with gentle fulfillment and watching her eyes come slowly back into focus, the aftershocks shaking them both.
“Are you all right, ma chérie?”
“If I get any better, I’ll be dead,” Gillian said when she could breathe again and form a coherent sentence.
They were still welded together as Perrin rolled gently onto his back, still holding her pelvis pressed firmly to him, not wanting to relinquish the barest fraction of his place within her yet.
“Are you uncomfortable? Do you want me to withdraw?”
“If you do, I will kill you,” Gillian said, eyes closed. “At least I will when I get my energy back.”
Chuckling with deep male satisfaction, Perrin stroked her face, kissing her eyes, her mouth. “In a short time, you’ll be ready for me again. Your body will want more sex. A gargoyle’s semen is like an aphrodisiac. It triggers need within the female, opens her to the male and ensures pregnancy.”
“That’s not funny. I’m not going to be able to walk as it is with you nearly in the back of my throat.”
“Gillian, have I hurt you?”
She opened an eye to see if he was kidding; he wasn’t. “No, Perrin, you were wonderful; that was wonderful. I am not complaining, all right?”
Pleased, he gathered her to him. “I wanted to do something for you after all you’ve done for me. I read up on Gargoyle sexuality and wanted to know if it was possible to bring you that kind of delight.”
Returning his embrace, she kissed along his jaw. “You can bring a woman delight like that anytime. It will soon be time to turn you loose on the world of females, and I’m sure there will be no complaints.”
Perrin grew instantly quiet. She reminded him that his place was not with her. Intellectually he knew it; emotionally he dreaded it. He could never repay her for what she’d done for him. The money he’d spent for his time at the Institute was marginal. Perhaps she would allow him to take her out to dinner, or he might donate a substantial sum to the facility as a very meager thank-you.
Isolated for so many years, denied even the basest contact, he was almost obsessive in his observation of others. Now, he was acutely aware of the feeling of their joined bodies, the silk of her hair in his hands, the softness of her skin. Her unique scent, like snow on a clover meadow, blended with their combined fluids, which now stained his sheets. Listening to her breathing, he knew she slept, and he stroked her hair carefully with his characteristic delicate touch.
Gillian was exciting, intelligent, exasperating, obstinate, brave, hardheaded and kind. She triggered his protective and dominant side inadvertently, coaxed his tender and artistic talents purposely. She had managed to bring out the best in him.
Perrin smiled unconsciously, thinking of how he’d never known he had any “best” in him. Thanks to Gillian, now he did.
Things had been a little strained with Gillian following Jenna’s rescue, after Trocar had returned with the Ripper’s heart in a leather bag. He had initiated some arcane ritual at the great hall fireplace, culminating in dissipating the evil of the fallen Vampire. The heart was magically dried, ground up and burned. Then Trocar scattered the ashes to the winds. He also destroyed the scalpel Jack had used in his crimes and the knife he’d used to remove the heart, saying that the weapons were dishonored and could never be used again.
Gillian had solemnly helped Trocar every step of the ritual, but was noticeably withdrawn. Aleksei finally took her aside into the library, to give her a gentle but firm talking-to. Testing his mettle was becoming a regular occurrence, so he put on his best diplomatic hat and broached his concern.
She had listened to him. She could feel that Aleksei’s own heart was aching for her, and her empathy demanded that she respond. He had reminded her how much she’d taught him about trust and sharing, admonishing her gently for shutting them all o
ut.
Finally, she revealed to him that she was trying to come to terms with how Jack had really unnerved her. Being stalked by the legendary serial killer, having other women die because of his misplaced hatred and determination to finally have her, had shaken her more than any other threat she’d ever faced. It was the first time she’d ever felt like a victim and she didn’t like it.
Working on processing those unfamiliar feelings was unintentionally shutting them out. She was unhappy with how she’d handled the situation, unhappy with the fact that her friends had been hurt ultimately because of her. It was great that they had been successful but she felt she had caused the circumstance in the first place.
While she talked, her voice was level but tears welled in her eyes. Aleksei was shaken by her stoic resolve; she needed comfort, needed someone to look after her, but wouldn’t ask. She would never ask. She wasn’t fragile; she was the bravest person he’d ever known. But she still needed someone. She was handling it characteristically in her own way. Alone.
“Cara mia, you are not alone in this. I am here to help you, as are all of your friends. You do so much for others, Gillian, let me . . . let us, do something for you.” Aleksei’s eyes were warm with affection and his sincerity was completely evident in the way he felt.
The concept was alien to Gillian’s basic psyche. She could instruct it, teach it, but not live it. She’d had no one she could depend on emotionally when she was growing up. In her adult life, she honed her skills of keeping others just far enough away so she wouldn’t impose her needs on anyone. Being “the Helper” was her purpose. Being helped . . . that she fought tooth and nail.
“Aleksei, I am trying.” She managed a weak smile.
“I want to understand, il mio amore. Why is it so hard to trust me with your heart? You trust me with your body, with your thoughts, with your safety. Let me help.” There was no pity in Aleksei’s face. He wasn’t feeling sorry for her. Just honest compassion and a desire to have his girlfriend back up on her stabilized pins again.
“My family was rather distant from each other,” she said, taking a deep breath.
Key to Redemption Page 22
