by Rose, Bella
But deep down, she knew that it would never be enough. What was worse? Wanting the man who would never have her? Or having the man who would never be hers?
“Pull yourself together,” she muttered sternly. Applying one more squirt of soap to the sponge, she scrubbed at her skin until it was red. The water grew cold, and it was enough to snap her back into reality.
She already had too much on her plate. There was no need to complicate her life any further with feelings and desires that she could barely understand.
When Veronika was younger, just a teenager, sometimes he would look at her with that intensity that made her whole body burn for him. He’d been in his early twenties, and she lusted after him like no other. But after that one night, everything changed. Her feelings changed. But as she grappled with something more than just lust, he pulled away.
And when he looked at her then, he simply looked right through her.
All it had taken was one kiss. One kiss for her to fall in love. And one kiss for him to forget her.
“Dinner’s ready!”
His bellow brought her back into the present, and she blew out her breath. She wasn’t a child any more. She had control over her emotions, and she wouldn’t let Kazimir hurt her.
Again.
“Be right there,” she yelled back. Facing herself in the mirror, she gave herself a critical look. Her father had fallen for a beauty, and based on the pictures, Veronika knew she was the spitting image of her mother. Long blonde hair, big dark eyes, clear and pale skin, and all the right curves in all the right places. She turned heads almost everywhere she went, but until college, no one had dared ask Veronika out. Everyone was too terrified of her father.
But it was different at school. She dated. She lost her virginity. But she never really felt a connection. She never fell in love. This year, things would be different. She didn’t have time for men anyway, so that was a relief.
Shrugging at her reflection, she ran a brush through her hair and threw on her pajamas. Flannel. Loose. Covering. She told herself it was to be more comfortable, but she knew she just wanted to hide from Kaz. She didn’t think she could bear getting all dolled up for him only to have him look right through her like she was invisible.
Grabbing her planner, she stomped down the stairs. Kaz was standing over the sink and digging into his soup. She gave him a quick smile. “Thanks. I’m starving. And it smells great.”
He ignored the comment. “You’ve done well this week. No deviating from your schedule. That’s good.”
“Can we talk about something other than your job?” she muttered. “You’re like a broken record. It’s the same message in the morning. Don’t deviate from the schedule. And the same message every night. Good job. It’s getting tiresome, and we’re not even a month in.”
He dropped the bowl in the sink and crossed his arms. “I’m not here to entertain you or to socialize with you.”
“Right. Of course you aren’t. You’re like a damn robot.” With a snarl, she grabbed her bowl and her planner. “Thank you for dinner.”
She tried to get up, but he moved so fast that she nearly gasped when his fists wrapped around her wrist. “What are you doing?” she snapped.
Surprised, he let go and stepped back. For a moment, he just stared at her. “I don’t want this to be a burden on you,” he finally said.
“It’s not a burden. It’s just an annoyance.”
“I tried to get your father to pick someone else. I almost told him…” He looked at her, and then shook his head.
“Told him what? That you kissed his teenage daughter just days after she lost her brother?” she taunted. “Maybe you should have. He certainly wouldn’t have let you step within a hundred feet of me.”
“Is that what you think happened?” he snapped. “You think I took advantage of you?” Leaning in until he was only inches away from her, he tipped her chin with his finger and gave her a chilly look. “I could have kept you all night if I wanted to. You would have let me. You almost begged me.”
“How dare you?” she said angrily as she pulled away. “I was a kid.”
“Yes. You were. Seventeen. You had no idea what you were asking of me, and that’s why I stopped. I should never have kissed you, and I think about that moment every time I look at you. But that’s why I walked away that night,” he said tightly.
He wasn’t wrong. She had begged him to stay, and he had walked away. “And I think about that moment every time I look at you,” she said coldly as she pushed him away.
“What do you want?” he asked as he ran his hands through his hair. “You’re mad that I kissed you? You’re mad that I didn’t do more?”
“I’m mad that you’re here,” she hissed. “My father trusts you like family. If you really didn’t want this gig, you could have said something. You could have done something. But you didn’t, and now we both have to suffer through this together.”
On the verge of tears, she gathered her bowl and things and slipped quietly out of the kitchen. Part of her knew that it was childish. He’d done something nice for her, but instead of acting like an adult, she’d lashed out. They couldn’t even have a conversation without arguing.
As much as she wanted to slam her door shut, she didn’t. Instead, she quietly closed it and took a few deep breaths. Tomorrow morning, she would apologize. And they would try again. Because she knew that Kaz would never abandon his post. And neither one of them would ever tell her father the truth.
Chapter Four
The days dragged by. Veronika didn’t even say goodnight. Normally she did it in a sickeningly sweet voice, but he saw the exhaustion in her eyes. She’d dragged herself up the stairs without a word, and he didn’t hear anything else after that. No shower. No dinner. He was genuinely starting to worry that she would kill herself at this pace.
Charley came in shortly after. He glanced at the clock and frowned. “Five minutes late,” he muttered.
She rolled her eyes. “Sorry, Dad. I should have called. Anyway, I can’t talk. I’ve got a date.”
“A date?” But she was already bouncing up the stairs. With a sigh, he followed after her.
The lamp was on in Veronika’s room. He paused for a moment outside her door and looked at her. Books were strewn all around her, and she was sprawled out on the bed, sleeping on top of them. He watched as her eyelids fluttered. Dreaming. As a teenager, she used to talk about her dreams. Her dreams of leaving Russia and never returning.
Maybe that’s what she was planning.
“If you stand there too much longer, it’s going to be creepy.”
Kaz turned and stared. In the span of a few minutes, Charley had changed from a weary student to a knockout dressed in a black sequined tank-top and a tight-fitting jeans. It was all Kaz could do not to whistle. “Your date is a lucky man.”
Charley wrinkled her nose. “He’s not a forever kind of guy. I just need to blow off some steam. You should convince her to do the same.”
“Date? No,” Kaz said immediately.
Charley chuckled. “Because it’s not safe or because you don’t want to see her with another man?”
Both. The words were nearly out of his mouth before he swallowed them back. “It’s not safe. And she needs to focus. If she’s ever going to get away from her father, this is how she’s going to do it.”
“Does she need to get away from her father?” Charley turned serious, and her voice softened. Kaz hesitated to answer her, and Charley pressed on. “I’m not stupid. She doesn’t talk about him. You don’t talk about him. He’s far more than just a businessman, and you’re doing more than protecting her from corporate espionage. What’s going on?”
“The less you know, the better.”
“This is my house. I’ve let a complete stranger live here because I need the money, and she seems to be towing a lot of baggage. You’re protecting her, but I have to protect myself. And I can’t do that if I don’t know what’s coming.”
Kaz smiled
. “You’re a good friend to her. She appreciates that. And hopefully, Charley, no one is coming. Her father is more than a businessman. But even the most vicious will think twice before getting to him through his daughter. Go on your date. Enjoy your night. Keep an eye out for anything strange. And text me every half an hour.”
“Every half hour?” she balked. “You really are like my dad.”
“Locations. Names. And let me know that you’re okay.” Kaz almost smiled as she scrunched her face up before grabbing her purse and jogging down the stairs. Turning, he softly moved across Veronika’s room and turned out her lamp. She might be pissed in the morning, but she needed sleep. Giving her one last look, he closed her door and went back to his couch.
Pulling away from her, he looked down at her. He had tousled her hair and smudged her lipstick, and there was nothing but pure lust in her eyes. He was aching for her, but he could still see the tear streaks down her makeup. Vulnerable. She was so vulnerable.
“Stay with me,” she whispered. “Please.”
She was begging him to stay. She was old enough to know what she was asking him, and he wanted her like he’d wanted no other woman. She was old enough. It felt like he’d waited centuries for this moment.
But there was a pain in her eyes that had nothing to do with him. Softly, he reached down and pressed his lips to hers again. One last taste. Sweet. Soft. His. Forever his.
“Sorry, sweetheart. You’re not really my type,” he said with a crooked smile as he backed away. “I like them a little bit more experienced.”
And just like that, he’d broken her heart. It could never be. And now she would never try again.
He’d taken a risk. She could have run to her father and let him know where his hands had been. Where his lips had been. But she didn’t. She chose to hate him instead, and that was exactly what he’d wanted.
He just didn’t expect her to still hate him all these years later. He didn’t expect to even see her all these years later.
As he stretched out on the couch, his phone vibrated in his pocket.
“Dmitri,” he muttered quietly.
“How’s the babysitting gig?” Dmitri asked easily. He was obviously alone. He wouldn’t dare speak about this in the presence of Fedor or his closest security detail.
“Fuck you. What do you have for me?”
“Right down to business. Tell me, Kaz, do you ever have any fun?” Dmitri muttered.
Kaz didn’t respond. He could hear some shuffling of papers in the background. “Where are you?”
“My place. Your plan might have worked better than you think. Boss doesn’t trust me yet, so I have menial work. Which means I get to come and go as I please since I’m not around sensitive material.”
“And that’s helpful to me because?” Kaz muttered.
“Because I stole the sensitive material. Right from under their noses. Seriously, how do they protect that man? They’re not all that smart.”
Kaz rolled his eyes. “They’re plenty smart. You’re just a devious bastard. Now have you found the proof?”
“This proof of yours is starting to annoy me. You know without a doubt what he’s done, but you still need to see the proof. You know this would be so much easier if you’d just let me shoot him now.”
He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t kill Veronika’s father in cold blood without absolute proof. He couldn’t do that to her no matter what her father had done. “What do the papers say?”
“Bunch of financial crap. Will take me some time to go through it.”
“Not just the most recent death. I want another investigated as well. And I need proof of both, Dmitri.”
The shuffling of papers in the background stopped. “And what other death might that be?”
Kaz paused. He barely knew Dmitri. By telling him the truth, he was possibly putting his life in the hands of one of the most dangerous men in Russia. The other most dangerous man in Russia.
“Pavel Saiko.”
For a moment, he didn’t even hear Dmitri breathing. “Still there?” he asked casually.
“I’m not sure my life was worth this, Kazimir,” Dmitri said finally. “You’d better be right about this.”
Kaz hung up and knocked his head back on the cushion. He wanted nothing more than to sleep, but he’d have to stay up until Charley was home. Shaking his head to ward off the exhaustion, he opened his laptop and flipped through the documents that Dmitri had sent a few days ago. They were financial records. But Dmitri said the papers that he’d just stolen were financial records.
So what was different from the records that he had free access to and the ones he had to steal?
***
Veronika was sitting on the quad, soaking up the sunshine and trying to focus on the words on the page. Fifteenth-century art. She was supposed to be focusing on fifteenth-century art, but her mind wasn’t anywhere near it.
“Seriously. People are going to start talking.” Veronika looked up as Charley sat down next to her. She was staring at Kaz as he leaned against a nearby tree. He was hiding behind a pair of sunglasses, but she knew that his eyes were on her.
“He’s actually doing well. In my undergraduate school, my classmates, complete strangers, wanted to call the cops because they feared I had stalkers after me. Kaz is good. He’s always been good,” she muttered. “How was your date last night?”
Charley smiled. “Delicious. I wanted to bring him home, but I thought the hunk on the couch might break the mood. But the club was fantastic. I’m going back tonight. Come with me. You need a night off.”
Veronika groaned. “If I take a night off, it’s going to be to sleep. Not to get all hot and sweaty with a bunch of strangers. Besides, Kaz would never let me go.”
Charley nudged her. “I talked to Kaz last night. He told me that the threat against you was minimum. He said that even your father’s enemies would think twice before attacking you. So have some fun.”
“Even if he said that, he would never let me go.”
“Well.” Charley smiled. “He never actually has to know. We’ll just slip out. Two hours. Give me two hours, and I promise that you’ll feel so much better. And let me tell you, there were plenty of good-looking men there last night. And more than one promised they’d be back tonight.”
“You’re so devious.” Veronika glanced quickly at Kaz. It would be nice to have a night out. And if nothing more, it would be nice to prove to Kaz that she was capable of running her own life. “All right. Two hours. I get off work at eight.”
“Great. Plenty of time to shower, eat, and pretend to have an early night.” Charley gave Veronika a wink before sliding off the bench and bouncing away.
Veronika laughed and shook her head. She barely knew Charley, but the woman lifted her heart like no other. The thought of an evening with drinks and laughs was enough to energize her. She peeked once more at Kaz before focusing on her textbook again.
If nothing else, getting away from him would be fun.
She couldn’t get the thought out of her mind, and the day crawled by as she waited. Finally, she was home, showered, and in her pajamas. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes. “Good night, Kaz,” she mocked. Was it just her or did her voice go up a pitch?
“Ten o’clock? No studying tonight?” he asked from the bottom of the stairs.
God. He knew. No, he didn’t know. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m not feeling well. And I can’t afford to get sick. So I’m tucking in early. Take the night off, Kaz. Have a drink. Relax a little,” she muttered.
He moved back to the couch, and she closed the door and turned off her light. Charley bounded down the stairs and said goodnight to him. While she distracted him, Veronika slipped off her pajamas, revealing her outfit beneath. Black skirt. A red tank-top. Definitely something she wouldn’t normally wear. Her face was painted, her hair was done, and her heart was racing.
She felt more energized than she had in weeks. While she heard Charley and Kaz talking,
she opened the window, closed her eyes, and jumped.
Just as she planned, she hit the ground quietly and rolled. Brushing herself off, she looked toward the building to see if there was any movement. Kaz didn’t sound the alarm. Keeping low, she snuck toward the car and waited.
Charley came out with a cheeky smile and a wink. And soon they were off. Safely down the road, Veronika let out a huge whoop and laughed. “My God. I did it. I escaped Kazimir. You know, I’m not sure that anyone has ever done this. I’m going to lord this over him for all of time.”
“Easy now.” Charley smiled. “The idea is that he never finds out. Get that ego in check and let out your wild side. Tonight, we’re going to have some fun!”
The club was hopping when they got there. Ten o’clock on a Friday night, and the line circled around the block. But Charley blew the bouncer a kiss, and he let them in with a smile. “Girl. How do you get the men wrapped around your fingers?”
“Oh that’s easy. Men here, men like this, they prowl for a woman like me. Someone who doesn’t want strings. But getting one man with strings? That’s eluding me,” Charley said with a sigh.
“Do you want strings?”
“I want a man to look at me like Kaz looks at you. Drink?”
Veronika snorted. “Yes. And don’t use that as an example. Kaz looks right through me. Like I’m invisible.”
“So brilliant, and yet so stupid. I’m getting us drinks. And don’t look so sad. Tonight, every man is going to look at you the way you want Kaz to look at you.” She moved through the crowd and shook her head.
Veronika blew out her breath and waited. She felt a little jittery as she looked around. Jittery and exposed.
When she was a child, there was an incident. She was in the park with her dog, playing and laughing. She had a nanny, and her brother was close by, but her father was away on a business trip. There were five men guarding them. Five. And still someone wrapped their hands around her wrists and tried to tug her away. They had nearly succeeded.
And here she was, exposed. No men guarding her.
As the memory came more into focus, she briefly wondered what had happened to those men. She doubted they were still alive. It made her nauseas to think about.
