by Megg Jensen
I walked over the golden carpet, relishing the cushy give under my slippered toes. Everything in the Southern Kingdom was covered in tile or marble. It was too hot to cover anything with rich tapestries like we did in the Northern Kingdom. I felt at home immediately, my heart tugging me back to a land I loved.
I paused at the heavy door, my palm resting on the rough wood. I took a deep breath and pushed it open.
Krissin waved to me from the side, a smile on her face and her arm looped through Ace’s. I was so happy to see him back and in one piece. The door swung open to reveal Johna and Nemison, dressed in their finest robes. Krissin and Ace were both in their normal clothes, the gown of a princess and the rough jerkin of a rogue.
Then I saw him. Dark hair tousled, hanging over one eye. Mark. My fingers itched to reach out and push it back. I resisted as I took the rest of him in. White shirt, unbuttoned at the neck and tight leather pants covered to the knee by his black boots. My knees wavered, but I held firm, pretending I had full control of my emotions.
Tomorrow they’d be off to war, except for Johna who would guide me to a small town, and I’d be dead to everyone. I had to control myself, show them I’d go along with the plan without complaint. It was best for everyone even if it scared me.
I took a deep breath. “So, why are we all gathered here?”
Krissin untangled herself from Ace’s arm and floated over to me. “Mark asked us all to meet you here. I don’t really know either.”
From the wistful tone of her voice, I wondered if she was going to miss me, even just a little. I might miss her, but I’d never admit it either.
“I need everyone here to witness Reychel’s last night. A woman so great should never die without her friends and family around her.” Mark walked over to my side and took my hand in his. He gave Krissin a little shove. She shot him a dirty look and returned to Ace.
“I’m not really dying.” I glanced at my friends and then back at Mark. “I don’t have any family here. If even one of you counts as family, then all of you do.”
“What if someone here became your family?” Mark took my other hand, holding both of them in a solid grasp. He lowered to both knees and placed his forehead against my palms.
I gasped, holding still. I’d never seen this happen, but I’d heard stories. Slave girls whispered about this late at night with stars in their eyes, when they should be sleeping. I never imagined Mark doing it. I’d never had the leisure to.
“Will you have me?” he asked. “Will you allow me to be your everything? Your protector, your lover, your husband? I pledge my life to you and bind my body to yours.”
I stared down at the dark hair on his head caressing my hands. Tears welled up, but I held them back. I’d shed too many over the last year. Now wasn’t the time. I struggled to remember the proper ritual response to his question. I knew there was one. Ivy and I used to chant it in whispers some nights before sleeping, so that if the time ever came, we’d be ready.
“It pleases me to accept your offer.” Then I paused. I couldn’t remember the next line. He’d done his homework, giving me every line just as it should be, but my lines slipped from memory. I fidgeted and glanced up at Krissin. She gave the usual amount of help by rolling her eyes while stroking Ace’s arm with her free hand. I was sure she knew exactly what I needed to say, but of course, she couldn’t be bothered to help me.
I bent over, breaking all tradition and decorum, and wrapped my hands around his. Mark lifted his head and looked at me, his blue eyes twinkling. I tugged on his hands, and he stood in front of me. I couldn’t see the others, I didn’t want to.
“I’m dying tomorrow and you’re heading off to war,” I whispered.
He smiled. “I know.”
“Are you sure this is what you want? We won’t be together for months.”
Mark’s eyes narrowed and the corners of his mouth turned down. “You don’t want this?”
“Of course I do, I just need to be sure this is what you want.” I stomped my slippered foot. Krissin controlled herself and didn’t interrupt for once.
“Reychel, dead or alive. Together or not. You are all I ever want. You have to understand that as soon as this war is over, I will come for you and we can be together. Forever.”
“It will give me time to plan a wedding, I suppose...”
“Time to plan?” Mark asked. “But with everything I’ve done for you tonight, don’t you want to marry me now?”
“Now?” I squealed. “I thought we were just getting engaged!” Now I knew my heart would pound its way out of my chest. Someday, yes, I thought we’d be married. It hadn’t occurred to me Mark would want to do it so soon. He was only eighteen and I was nearly sixteen. I knew most noble girls were ready to be married by fifteen, but I just hadn’t considered it. Not yet.
“Well, if you would have said the next line in the traditional engagement text, I would have continued with my intention to marry you tonight.” His whispers turned into strained annoyance.
“Um, sorry, but I couldn’t remember the next line.”
Mark’s cheeks widened and he winked at me. “Thank Eloh. I thought you were hesitating because you were unsure of me. Besides, I thought all girls knew the traditional response.”
“I haven’t exactly lived the life of a traditional girl.”
Mark stared at me. I stared back. “Will you be my wife? My forever love?”
“Those aren’t the traditional lines.” I flicked his chin with my fingers.
He slid his arms around my neck. He pulled me close, our lips nearly touching. “You’re not a traditional girl.”
I leaned in and kissed him, taking everyone by surprise. Someone gasped, but I didn’t care. Mark was going to be my husband, I could kiss him whenever I wanted. “Yes.”
“Finally!” Krissin yelled. I tried to tune her out and nibbled on Mark’s lower lip. “Can we get on with this already? I have enough to do tomorrow without staying up any later than I have to. I have to pretend you’re dead, lead a funeral procession, and then ride off to battle. I don’t have time to watch you two suck face.”
“Take it easy, Krissin,” Ace said. “Let Reychel have this moment.”
“Do you have any traditional words you want to say to me?” Krissin yelled at Ace, her eyes narrow and intent on his face. Krissin folded her arms across her chest. She’d already broken our kiss, I couldn’t wait to see how Ace would react. Nemison finally took notice and lifted an eyebrow.
“No?” Ace backed away, one small footstep at a time.
“If you don’t, then keep your mouth shut!” Krissin stomped her tiny slippered feet like a spoiled child. “I am the princess! This is my castle and my war and I’m losing my beauty sleep!”
Nemison took two long strides to her side and placed one hand on her arm. “I can handle this, Krissin. And Ace is right, give Reychel this moment. It’s the only moment she’s had in a year that is truly hers.”
Nemison looked at Mark and me. “Would you like me to marry you?”
Mark’s eyes locked on mine. “Are you ready?”
“Absolutely.” Fireworks shot through my stomach. I’d never been so nervous and excited at the same moment. I pushed tomorrow out of my mind. My death. A funeral procession. Starting a new life. I could do it knowing we were bonded for life. It would give me even more resolve to make it through the war on my own.
“Do you know how two gifted people are bonded?” Nemison asked. “It’s a bit different than your normal marriage ceremony.”
Mark and I shook our heads in unison. No one had ever mentioned this to me before and I hadn’t read about it in Zelor’s journals. He hadn’t been married, so he probably didn’t have a good reason to mention it.
“Hold hands like this.” Nemison stretched Mark’s arm out and turned his hand palm up. Then he took my hand, resting my palm on Mark’s. Mark squeezed my hand, but Nemison slapped him. “Don’t. Just lay your hands together.”
“What’s going to h
appen?” I asked.
“I’m going to bind you together. Your gifts will be linked. This link can be broken in only two ways. First, death.”
“But I’m—”
Nemison patted me on the shoulder. “A real death, Reychel. Not a false one induced by our gifts and Johna’s herbs.”
“What’s the second way?” Mark asked. “Divorce?”
“No, a divorce is simply a civil matter. The two of you will be bound together through life, unless one of you should lose your gift. But I wouldn’t worry about that.”
“You mean if we’re severed?” I asked.
Nemison’s eyes narrowed and he glanced at me. “Yes, if you’re severed this bond will fail. It’s likely you would lose any feelings you had for Mark too. It’s not worth worrying about. It’s not something that happens accidentally. You have to have it done to you. Neither of you would ever choose that path.”
Mark’s grin pierced my heart. I had considered it. A life without the pain and torture caused by my gift would be welcome. But to lose myself and Mark in the process? I didn’t think I could handle it.
“Now, are you both sure this is what you want? A life of being bonded together, not just in the eyes of your people, but also under the watchful eye of Eloh?”
“I do,” Mark said.
I swallowed the nerves inside me, the questions, and the doubts. “I do.” Not for one moment did I doubt my love for Mark. He’d been the world to me, the only shelter in the violent storm I’d lived since turning fifteen.
Nemison wrapped his large, bony hands around ours and closed his eyes. I closed mine too. It seemed the right thing to do. Our hands melded together in a warm blush as Nemison’s gift bound us together. I felt a tugging in my mind and a sudden awareness of Mark there. I couldn’t see or feel him inside there, but I could sense him. Constant, bright, and steady, his presence occupied a part of me I’d never noticed before.
“You are now bound. Let only death come between you.” Nemison said.
I gazed in Mark’s wet eyes. I reached up and wiped away the remaining tears with my fingertips.
“We’ll leave you now,” Johna said. “I’ll be back for you in the morning.”
Johna flicked her fingers and a bright portal opened in the room. All four of them stepped through and the portal closed as quickly as it had formed. But I barely noticed. All I could see was Mark.
“I love you Reychel.” He grabbed my hand, still damp with his tears, and kissed my fingertips.
I swayed, my legs losing their balance. He wrapped his other arm around my waist and pulled me to him. I gasped, looking into his eyes. Passion and desire dripped from his gaze. My heart raced, thumping in my chest.
His lips fell to mine, made contact, and my world spun out of control. My fingers dragged through his hair, pulling him closer, deeper. A moan escaped my lips.
He pulled back and his lips found my earlobe. “Not here.” He grasped my waist harder. With his other hand, he flicked his fingers in the air, opening a portal. “Will you come with me?”
“Anywhere.”
We stepped through the portal and emerged in the forest. A chill permeated the air, sending a shiver through my body. A quick look around told me exactly where we were. We’d spent the night together in the woods before he turned me over to Kandek. That night I’d fallen deeply, irrevocably in love with Mark. If we had a special place, this was it. Only one thing nagged at me.
“Anyone could walk by us. This isn’t exactly private.” I glanced into the woods, not afraid of anything lurking nearby, but I wanted my first night with Mark to be unencumbered.
“It is.” He leaned in and brushed my lips with his. “I set up a force field for us. No one can walk by here or notice us.”
“No one?”
“No one,” he whispered. Mark’s hands rested on my shoulders and pushed the sleeves of my gown down to the middle of my arms. He kissed my shoulder, sending shivers through my whole body. He bent over and scooped me up into his arms, carrying me beyond the copse of trees to a small tent. He kicked open the flap with his foot.
I looked up as we entered the tent. The top opened to the bright starry sky above us, surrounding his head like a halo. He laid me down on a soft, warm mattress.
“Are you comfortable?” he asked, pushing my hair back behind my ears. His fingertips grazed the side of my head.
I bit my lip and nodded. Then I held my arms out to him as he swept me into an unending embrace.
* * *
I woke in the middle of the night, my arms and legs tangled with Mark’s. The soft, steady breathing told me he still slept. I fought the urge to run my fingers through his hair. His eyelids fluttered, still deep in a dream. I hoped it was good one.
Last night my dreams came true, but I would have to face reality soon enough. In the morning I would die and leave Mark’s side until the war ended. My heart pounded, faster than the wings of a hummingbird in flight.
Johna assured me I wouldn’t feel anything, that I would sleep under her careful watch. She’d used the herbs before and I had nothing to fear.
And yet...
The possibility of sleeping the time away, not being aware of anything. I’d never feared sleep before, but now, knowing I was willingly giving my life over to my friends, I feared sleep more than anything.
I snuggled into Mark’s chest, tracing the edges of his muscles with my fingertip. He stirred slightly and woke. I blushed and covered myself with a sheet.
“Can’t sleep?” he asked. I shook my head. Mark stretched out his arm and motioned for me to come closer. I laid my head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me. “I’m with you tonight. You don’t have anything to be afraid of.”
“I know,” I said. “I just don’t feel like sleeping. It’s not like I won’t have plenty of time to do that soon enough.”
I thought Mark would laugh, but he only pulled me closer. “I’m scared too, but I have to trust in Johna. She will pull you out if anything threatens you.”
“I know. It’s still scary.”
“Of course it is.” He kissed me on the head. “With that block, there’s nothing else we can do. The war won’t even have a chance if they know you’re alive.”
“Don’t remind me.”
“I’m the last person on the planet who wants this to happen, Reychel. You know that. I just don’t see another way out. Do you?”
I shook my head, trying to push away the thought that I was only hours from death.
Chapter Eight
As I sat down in the coffin, a chill rushed through my veins. I repeated the same words in my head. I’m not really dying. I’m not really dying. I’m not really dying.
Johna promised me it would feel just like going to sleep. No pain, no fear, no regret. I’d simply drink the tea and within a moment I’d be gone. Dead. No, asleep, but dead to the rest of the world. I twisted the ring around my finger. Before porting back to the castle, Mark presented it to me. He’d slipped it on my finger without a word. I felt bad I didn’t have one for him, but everything had moved so quickly. I had barely been able to breathe.
Now I wouldn’t be breathing. Johna told me I would only appear to be without breath, just that it would be shallow. The only way to know would be if the lightest linen was placed directly on my lips. Not even the proximity of human skin could detect my breath. But hopefully no one would get that close.
The plan was to have me in the coffin, open casket, and be shown to everyone in a parade. Krissin thought it would stoke the fires of rebellion, convincing even more men to join the war effort, even though I’d told them days ago that they could stay home if they wanted to. My words had mattered then, but now, as a martyr, Krissin could convince them to join us. I wasn’t happy about it, but I knew I couldn’t stop her. She’d go ahead with her plan whether I liked it or not.
I briefly considered faking drinking the tea and then popping up in my coffin and declaring my defeat against death as a miracle, but that w
ould undermine everything. I couldn’t hurt the war effort because I knew the freedom of every Serenian was at stake.
The gifted army Alia belonged to wouldn’t stop. They had to be defeated and Krissin’s army could do that. She was our only hope against the enemy. I didn’t want anyone to die, but if my death could help save lives, I was more than willing to drink Johna’s concoction.
Mark and Nemison stood in the corner of my chamber and whispered. I wanted to know what they were talking about, but if they wanted me to know, they would tell me. They obviously had no interest in including me. Mark glanced over his shoulder in my direction and smiled.
It was uncomfortable, not because of everything that had happened to us last night, but because of the coffin. Every time he met my gaze, his eyes flickered to the marble box. He couldn’t stand to see me in it, that much was clear, but, like me, he wasn’t going to argue. We’d finally proved how we felt about each other. Being bonded by Nemison had been no small feat. We’d be together now until death - real death, not the hoax we were about to pull.
Johna mixed up my death potion, tossing in herbs I didn’t recognize, then crushing them in the mortar with a pestle. The tiny crunching echoed in the mostly silent room. No one wanted to talk directly about what we were doing. We played our roles the way we were supposed to, without comment. Even Nemison, who always had an opinion about the way things should go, held his tongue against Krissin’s plan. He had taught his daughter well, recognizing the gravity of the deception we were about to undertake.
If this doesn’t work, Ace will have to keep me from killing Krissin, Johna, and Nemison.
I started and looked around. Mark’s eyes narrowed at my surprised glance.
“Did you say something?” I asked him.
