by Megg Jensen
“I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.”
“How?”
“I don’t know.” Chase slammed the side of his fist against the stone wall. “Why do there have to be more mysteries? You and I have enough to deal with right now. We have to stop the Malborn army, untangle the Fithian mess, and work out the meaning of Wren’s prediction and your role in it.”
I messed with a red thread hanging from the bottom of my leather vest. “At least we don’t have to do it alone.”
Chase didn’t respond right away, but when he did, his voice was deeper than I’d ever heard before. “You will never be alone again, Lianne. Never.”
For a moment I thought about asking for that kiss. My skin tingled with a cold rush of anticipation. I could. I glanced up at Chase.
If I approached him, it would mean something. It would mean far more to him than it would to me. I had feelings for him, but without sorting them out, without understanding, I knew that any physical connection now wouldn’t be equal between us.
I took a deep breath, not just to calm myself, but also to let him know I was moving past the moment. His tensed shoulders relaxed and he sat back down in the chair. “There’s something else I haven’t told you. After Elessia passed yesterday, I had a vision of Eloh,” I said.
Chase’s eyebrows lifted, but he didn’t utter even one question. Of course not. His mother was known for communing with the goddess. He wouldn’t think it was strange.
“She told me to look for the one whose mind is clear.” I paused, hoping he’d chime in with a solution. Instead, he shook his head, clearly as confused as I’d been. “I think it might be my mother.”
Chase stood up, shoving the chair backward. He strode across the room and took my shoulders in his hands. “You will not go near her again under any circumstances. I don’t care what Eloh told you, Lianne. It has to be someone else.”
I pulled back from his tight grasp. “Who? Do you have an idea, then?” My shoulders tingled. I rubbed my shoulder, slowly bringing back the feeling to it.
“Did I hurt you? I am so, so sorry Lianne.” He stepped backward, his hands in the air. “When you said you thought Eloh wanted you to seek out your mother, I couldn’t even fathom letting you go anywhere near her. After everything she did to you…” His voice trailed off. He buried his hands in his pockets.
It was a clear move of acquiescence. Chase knew how well I’d been trained in combat. Keeping his hands behind him like that left him wide open to attack. It was his subtle way of telling me he was sorry and wouldn’t blame me if I attacked. Lucky for him, I was trying not to react physically these days. A few months ago, I probably would have punched him or swept his leg, dropping him to the ground. Today I took a gentler approach.
“Thank you for trying to protect me.”
Chase’s eyes popped wide open. “I thought you were going to hit me.”
“I’m trying to change.”
He laughed, his chest heaving up and down with each deep breath.
“What?” The magic inside me started to boil. Why was it so funny?
“You?” He pointed at me, still laughing as if I’d told the funniest joke ever. “I can’t imagine a Lianne who didn’t strike back when someone pissed her off.”
My right hand crunched into a fist. My arm shook. I wouldn’t do it.
The corners of Chase’s mouth turned upward. He winked at me, and then beckoned with his finger. I shook my head, holding my ground. “Not taking the bait.”
“C’mon, Lianne. You haven’t sparred in ages.” He tapped his chin with a finger. “That must be it. You’re out of practice and scared I’ll rebuff every attack. I bet you’re afraid you’ve lost your skills.”
He was right. I had gotten soft since Bryden’s death. First my grief locked me in an impenetrable cocoon. I stopped meditating, even though it might have been the one thing that brought me peace. As time went on, there was no regular routine anymore.
I snapped my fist toward his face, but he easily moved to the side. I spun, kicking my foot straight at his gut. Instead of landing a solid blow, he grabbed my booted ankle, my heel inches from his shirt. All he had to do was twist to the side and I’d be the one on the floor. Instead he held on. I balanced easily on one foot, glad that I’d retained some control.
I twisted to the side, releasing my ankle from his grasp. I spun around, dropping both feet on the floor.
“Impressive,” he said, his eyes glinting.
My knees bent, I crouched in a ready position. Both of my fists hovered in front of my face. I felt the familiar feeling of strength flow through my limbs.
Chase held up both hands, motioning toward him with his fingers.
I smiled, and then attacked.
He blocked my roundhouse kick, but my fist backhanded him on the face. Chase wiped the back of his hand under his nose, a small amount of blood trailed across his skin. His eyes looked over my shoulder, popping open in surprise.
I twisted around, wondering who’d wandered into our room to cause that kind of reaction from Chase. Before I knew what was happening, he wrapped his arms around my upper body, locking me against him. “Try getting out of this one,” he whispered in my ear.
“There wasn’t anyone over there,” I snarled back.
“The world isn’t fair. Deal with it.”
Without an ounce of hesitation, I stomped on his toes with my heel. His grasp loosened. I took advantage of his surprise to backhand him on his already injured nose. Out of instinct, my fist fell lower and I rammed it into his crotch.
“Ooof!” He yelled, and then he collapsed to the floor.
I dropped down next to him. “I’m so sorry, Chase. Are you okay?” I stroked his hair, cupping his cheek with my other hand. “It was an instinct, I swear. I didn’t mean to hurt you so bad.”
He let out a long breath, squeezing his eyes together. “It’s okay. I was hoping your instincts would take over, but I didn’t quite expect that.”
Chase sat up, slowly, grabbed the arm of the nearest chair and hoisted himself to standing. I stood up, taking his arm in my hands. “Can I help you walk? Do you want to sit down?”
He shook his arm free. “That’s not the hardest I’ve ever been hit there. I’ll be alright.” Chase walked carefully toward the door.
“Where are you going?”
He turned and beckoned me closer. I obliged. What else could I do? I’d just walloped his private parts. I owed him at least that.
“I’m going to find a way to get past that gifted barrier. You’ll see your mother and find out if she’s the one Eloh was talking about.”
My eyes widened. “Are you sure?” A few minutes ago, he’d wanted to protect me from her. Now he was willing to get me access.
Chase nodded. “I think you’ve proved that you’re just as strong, and quick, as ever. It’s time to let the lioness loose.”
Then he smacked me on the butt and ran out the door before I could protest.
Chapter Fifteen
Chase waited for me in the upper west tower, clad in a brown leather vest, cape, and riding breeches, his hair pulled back into a short ponytail. A sword hung at his waist. I hadn’t seen him in two days and I’d begun to worry he’d changed his mind about helping me get back to the hidden village.
Instead of sitting around waiting for him, I’d ridden Aphotica both days, hoping she’d lead me back. Instead of taking me into the forest, she trotted around the grass knolls outside the castle. There was no galloping, despite my constant nudging with my heels. Aphotica wouldn’t have any of it. It was as if someone had spoken to her, explaining that I was to stay safe at the castle.
“Why did we meet up here?” I gazed out the windows toward the land below. The forest stretched for miles. I tried to spy one of the secret communities, but I couldn’t see any gaps in the trees. They’d chosen wisely. Unless someone learned to fly, they’d never find them from here.
“This is the Suicide Tower.”
I di
d a double take. “The what?”
“You heard me,” Chase said. “I wanted to bring you here before we left. There’s something you need to know about my mother. I know she and I don’t get along, but I have never doubted her conviction. This tower is an example of that.”
Stone walls, windows, and a door below us, there was nothing interesting giving me hints about Reychel’s character. I waited, quietly, for Chase to explain.
“Her childhood best friend tried to have my parents killed. She was in love with my father, and wildly jealous of his feelings for my mother. My mother forgave Ivy, even tried to help her, but Ivy couldn’t handle it. She threw herself out the window.”
The dizzying heights felt more dangerous now. Not long ago, I’d suffered an irrational fear of heights, but Johna had cured me of that. I couldn’t even imagine the state that Ivy must have been in to commit suicide.
“I don’t get along with my mother, but I don’t believe she would ever approve of Mags being severed without her permission.” He placed a hand on my arm. “I know Mags was your best friend. I also know you had a falling out. What I’m trying to say is that you can’t blame yourself for the choices she’s made since then.”
I nodded, unsure how I felt. Mags was the strongest woman I knew. Why would she ever give up like that?
“I’ve found a way past the barrier. It’s ridiculously simple.” Chase rolled his eyes. “All you need to do is open a portal into the village.”
“But won’t that set off the alarms?”
“That’s what I thought too, but I spoke with my mother and a couple of other people. Apparently the person who brings them supplies gets in and out the same way. It doesn’t trigger Johna’s alarms.”
“But if it’s that simple, why aren’t people in and out all the time? How do they know their perimeter is working?” I looked out the window toward the forest again.
Chase shrugged. “They cleared out land and never told anyone where it was. Remember, to open a portal, you must have visited the place before. They were hoping no one would randomly try to port there.”
“Seems risky,” I said.
“I agree.” Chase took my hand. “You’ve been there, so open the portal.”
“But what about you? Are you just going to walk through with me? What if they tell someone they saw you? Your parents will get really mad.”
Chase dropped my hand and pulled the hood of his cape over his head.
“I can still see you,” I retorted.
Chase’s laugh rang out. “That’s because other gifted friends can see through the cape’s magic. Remember?”
He was right. I’d forgotten. I’d worn one the last night I’d made love to Bryden. Chase gave it to me so I could sneak into the castle and see Bryden. My heart ached, pounding out Bryden’s name with every beat. I nodded, unable to answer for fear a crack in my voice might give away my sorrow.
“Anyway, I’ll come with you, but no one in the community is gifted, so they can’t see me. While you’re talking to your mother, I’ll scope out the rest of the place. See if there isn’t anything else hidden there we don’t know about.”
I nodded and flicked my fingers. A portal opened in front of us, shimmering in the golden sunlight. Chase reached out, taking my hand again. With Bryden’s memory fresh in my mind, I couldn’t let myself touch him for more than a second. I slipped my hand out of his and stepped through the portal, hoping I’d leave the memories behind in the castle. I needed to focus on my mother. I needed to know if hers was the clear mind I was seeking.
We walked through the portal. I quickly flicked it closed before anyone saw it. The cottages stood silent in the cleared grove. Chase pointed away from them, indicating he was going to explore the perimeter of the community first.
“Don’t venture too far out,” I whispered. “If you trigger Johna’s security, we’re both going to have a lot of explaining to do.”
“I won’t,” Chase whispered back. His lips were close to my ear, too close. Our relationship was changing fast, but every time I thought of Bryden I found myself drifting away from Chase. I knew in my heart that mingling with the living was healthier than obsessing about the dead, but it didn’t make it easier to put my memories of Bryden to rest so soon.
Chase sauntered away. His back muscles rippled, even through the cape. I could see every inch of his strong body. A year ago, I would have found him irresistible. Now, well, now things were too complicated.
I spun on my heel, facing the opposite direction. Before I could take even one step toward the first cottage, a door opened. My mother walked out. Just like the last time, she was the first.
“Hello, Mary.” I stumbled a bit over her new name. I had never called her by her real name, but Mary seemed even stranger.
Her eyes narrowed. It was the same look she’d given me as I left a few days ago. She was suspicious of me.
“Hello.” She folded her arms in front of her chest. “We had a delivery yesterday. We were questioned about a visitor. I told them nothing. No one did. We want to know why you’re here.”
I was left speechless. I hadn’t expected her to be so blunt. In my mind, I’d pictured many visits before I trusted her enough to ask her questions. But now she thrust it all in front of me.
“We want to know how to get out of here too.” She grabbed my wrist. Her nails dug into my skin, leaving marks that wouldn’t fade quickly.
I winced as I twisted my wrist and yanked my arm to the side. Her grasp broken, I rubbed my tender skin, flashing her a dirty look. “If you want to get away so bad, why don’t you just walk into the forest and see what’s on the other side?”
Her arms hung slack at her sides. “We can’t. We’ve tried. But the closer we get to the edge of the clearing, our heads hurt. It’s like a hammering that won’t stop. One woman nearly died, but we pulled her back to the center. She fell into a coma and the messenger came and took her away. We never saw her again.”
I was incredulous. I knew their reasons for keeping these people here. It all made a lot of sense. But in some ways, it was worse than a dungeon because they had no idea what they’d done wrong. Being punished for something you couldn’t remember seemed beyond cruel.
If Eloh wanted me to seek out my mother, the person whose mind is clear, then maybe she didn’t agree with what had been done here. If Johna told the truth, and Reychel was the only one who communed with Eloh, then maybe Reychel knew more than she was willing to let on. Maybe she was taking her anger at her own situation out on these people.
I glanced to the edge of the clearing. Chase’s cape billowed in the breeze as he searched for any clues that would help us understand this place better. My mother’s eyes followed mine, but there wasn’t even a spark of recognition when they passed over Chase. She couldn’t see him and she probably thought I was only looking out toward the edge she’d just told me about.
“Who are you?” she asked. Her eyes bored into mine.
I said the first thing that came to my mind.
“I’m your daughter.”
Chapter Sixteen
My mother reached out, placing her hand on my shoulder. She pulled me into her embrace, giving me a hug. In the small time I’d known her, she hadn’t shown me one bit of affection, not even when she was still pretending she cared about me. Up until the moment she kidnapped me, I believed she held herself at a distance for the same reason I did – it was too soon.
The woman before me couldn’t wait to embrace her daughter, even though she didn’t know me. Against my better judgment, my heart swelled. So few people had ever cared about me. I’d always wondered what it would have been like to have a mother who loved me instead of an adoptive mother who wanted me to disappear.
“Will you come inside with me? We can talk more. I’d really like that.” She smiled. It seemed uncharacteristic, given everything I knew about her. Maybe severing did change her root personality. Or maybe she’d turned to evil because of a bad upbringing. With her memories go
ne, I’d never know. I could only judge what I saw in front of me now.
I glanced toward Chase. He had stopped walking the perimeter and was now staring at me. With my mother’s arm around my shoulder, I motioned with my head toward the cottage. It was subtle, but enough so Chase understood. He raised a hand in the air, palm facing me. I nodded slightly as I looked back at my mother.
He knew where I was going. He could help me if I needed it. But looking in her eyes, so wide and innocent, I couldn’t believe for one moment that she meant me any harm. It wasn’t like before when I’d been suspicious of her from the start.
She seemed different now. I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what it was, but I knew she wasn’t the same woman.
My mother removed her arm, guiding me with her hand on my back to the door of the cottage she’d emerged from. “Let’s sit down in here. We can talk.”
I walked in first. I would have been disappointed if I’d expected much. Two tiny beds, a crib, and a table and chairs were the only major pieces of furniture. A short three-shelf bookcase stood in the corner, a few books scattered across the shelves. A small jug and pitcher sat on the table, next to a stack of two plates.
Mags, who now went by Anne, sat on one of the beds, Trevin on her lap. Charles. I was never going to get used to these new names. I wasn’t sure I wanted to. But if the severing had been successful, none of them would know their old names. I had to keep up the ruse, no matter how much I was beginning to detest it.
“Please, sit.” My mother pointed to one of the chairs at the table. I sat, scooting the chair over so I could see both my mother and Mags. “You remember, Anne, yes?”
I nodded. “Yes, and her son, Charles.” It felt so strange to call them names that didn’t belong to them.
Mags nodded and Trevin cooed, holding his arms out to me.
“Do you mind if I hold him?” I asked.
Mags nodded. “Of course. It’s fine. He seems to have taken a liking to you.”
I reached out, scooping up Trevin under his armpits, and snuggling him close to my chest. Resting my nose on his head, I took in a deep breath. The scent of baby powder mingled with the sharp pine of the forest. It was at once familiar and disconcerting. He reached up and smacked me on the lips with his palm.
