by Fynn Chen
Sighing at her own pity, Yexuan ambled across her quarter. With great effort, she reached out for the flower vase and cradled it with preciousness. When resoluteness had settled into her heart, Yexuan made her way slowly out of her quarters and into her backcourt. Images of Wanwan’s duelling form filled the desolated space of her courtyard. Shutting her eyes, Yexuan reopened them to find those conjured images dissipating like wisps of smoke in the harsh cold of the night. The spring gust blew by and there was no Wanwan to shield her from the chill. Pacing about for a little more, feeling her energy sapped from her body, Yexuan finally came to a stop at a random spot and crouched slowly.
Emptying the flower vase for what could be the last time, Yexuan watched impassionedly as the dark and pungent liquid was drained from the vase. Yexuan looked up to the night skies as she sighed once more, wishing for this pain to end soon. Her wishes were going to come true. Before Yexuan could replace the vase properly back on the shelf, her dizzy spell had struck her, and the little princess collapsed onto the floor.
Yexuan had woken up to see a small figure seated by her bedside and with her head rested on her bed. Both the person’s hands were holding hers and it took moments for Yexuan to confirm who that person really was before she began sobbing. She must be in a dream. Her sobs must not have been as noiseless as she thought it would be because the sleeping figure stirred.
Then, the figure woke up, alarmed, and threw her head about like an alert hawk before landing eyes on her.
“Y-You’re awake,” Princess Wanwan, the person by her bedside, breathed out.
“I must be dreaming,” Yexuan muttered to herself.
“Then it must be your most beautiful dream,” the wildling princess said with the wicked smirk on her face and Yexuan burst out into another whimpering sob.
The wildling princess seemed slightly stunned before she withdrew a silken handkerchief from her tunic and dabbed gently at Yexuan’s eyes. The wildling princess’s brows were slightly creased.
“I’m sorry, I returned so late,” the wildling princess said. “You must have missed me.”
Yexuan shook her head and she had wanted to get up, but strength had yet returned to her body.
“H-How long?”
As if stricken by the question, the wildling princess paused before her eyes reflected a glint that suggested she had conjured an interesting response.
“How long? If you were referring to how long has it been since you collapsed, then its seven days ago. If you were referring to how long has it been since I have returned to the palace, then it is six days ago. If you were referring to how many nights I have stayed by your bedside, then it is six nights,” Wanwan replied all in one breath.
This conversation reminded her so greatly of the one they had nine months ago, except this time round, it was Yexuan who was lying in bed and Wanwan who was tending after her. Like a fresh wound that remained unhealed, Yexuan was keenly aware of the pain in her chest.
“Why did you return?” Yexuan asked and was unable to keep the accusatory tone out of her voice.
The wildling princess bit her lower lip as she thought of an answer and a smile returned when she found one. “To make sure that you stop throwing your medicine away and to make sure that you live to see the end of Spring and beyond.”
Yexuan was about to say something, but the wildling princess had interjected.
“Don’t bother trying to deny it. I have asked the palace maids. They told me the only thing you bothered doing daily was to change the water in the vase. They assumed it was because of your love for the flowers, like how your… like how your mother once loved dandelions.”
A knot tightened in Yexuan’s stomach. Yexuan wondered just how much more this Wanwan had found out about her past and why had this wildling princess even bothered.
“Don’t worry, I didn’t tell them your secret. I am still the only one who knows you have not been taking your medicine at all.”
Yexuan nodded gratefully as tears came to her eyes again. The warmth that Wanwan exuded was enough to touch her.
“I still don’t know why you do that, but I shall not ask you right now. You will tell me when you want to but for now, I am making sure that you take every single bowl of medicine. I will force you if I have to.”
Yexuan smiled, for the first time in a long while. Finding herself staring at Wanwan more intently than she had anticipated, Yexuan finally came back to her senses and gave the wildling princess a proper welcome.
“Welcome back, Princess Bo’er’ji’ji’te Zhenwan.”
The wildling princess returned her intense stare. There was something in her eyes, something that resembled guilt. Yexuan almost had the urge to tell Wanwan that nothing else mattered as long as she had returned. Instead, Yexuan found herself saying something else.
“I-I have a birthday gift for you.”
A brief look of surprise passed over Wanwan’s face and Yexuan struggled to get up as she reached for something by her desk. Catching on what Yexuan was trying to do, Wanwan swiftly retrieved the box Yexuan was reaching out for and handed it over to her. Their gazes met each other again. With a shaky smile, Yexuan lifted the lid of the box and took out what was within with achingly slow moves.
Wanwan closed her warm hand over Yexuan’s and helped her lift the precious item up. Yexuan nearly gasped at that contact, she missed Wanwan’s touch so much, no matter how simple it was.
“Y-Your birthday gift,” Yexuan managed to say.
“Pillowcase?” Wanwan confirmed as she touched the embroidered design with care and there was marvel reflected in her eyes. “Eagles, wolves, dandelions. How did you manage to blend them so beautifully together? Yexuan, you are a genius.”
Yexuan shrugged and smiled shyly at that compliment before laying back down on the bed. Princess Wanwan’s hands guided her gently to rest before she returned the wooden box to the bedside desk. The two princesses looked at each other for a long time without exchanging words until Yexuan remembered.
“And one more thing.”
Wanwan’s mouth curved into an encouraging smile as if knowing what Yexuan was about to mention. The words were nearly stuck at the tip of Yexuan’s tongue as she admired the confident, all-knowing look on Wanwan’s face.
“T-The promise,” Yexuan continued.
Letting out a small chuckle, Wanwan nodded. “Yes, I remember the promise we made. What do you wish for, Princess Yexuan?”
Wanwan sounded so sincere that Yexuan was almost afraid to ask, fearing that it would be too much of a burden on the free-spirited princess who had just returned.
“Can you promise me to not disappear when I wake again?” Yexuan asked in a plea.
The smile on Wanwan’s face earlier was gone and her expression had stiffened as she worked her jaw. The words that came out next were the sweetest that Yexuan had heard in this lifetime
“I promise. I will be by your side when you wake again.”
Yexuan could not bear to sleep, especially not after learning that the wildling princess had tried to mend her mother’s flower vase which had smashed to pieces. It was a really crude attempt but Yexuan was so moved that she had no words.
When Yexuan had fallen back asleep after much coaxing, Wanwan looked at her companion with a dreamy gaze. A contented sigh escaped from her lips as Wanwan knew that she would never regret this decision to return. She was appalled when she first saw Princess Yexuan lying motionless on the bed. As Wanwan stuck her hand out, she felt as though she was about to touch a wilting flower that was Princess Yexuan. It pained her heart just how much the courtly princess’s condition had deteriorated, and it hurt Wanwan even more when she heard the simple request from Yexuan. Then Wanwan remembered, it had been nine months after all. Nine months of neglect from Wanwan for her companion. She promised not to disappear when Yexuan woke up and she would do beyond that. Wanwan would stay by Yexuan for a very long time.
Wanwan had lied earlier, she did not just stay by Yexuan’s side duri
ng the night but for large chunks of time during the day as well. Wanwan made sure she fed Yexuan her medicine personally. The Bo’er princess rubbed her eyes as she focused her vision on the sleeping courtly princess. A smile of satisfaction was on Wanwan’s face. At least now she was positive that Princess Yexuan could live to the end of Spring, and witness Summer, Autumn, and Winter for many years to come. Wanwan would make sure of that.
Princess Yexuan had slept fitfully that night and Wanwan thought she spotted tears from the corners of the courtly princess’s eyes. Sighing in pity, Wanwan leant forward with the same silk handkerchief in her hand and wiped Princess Yexuan’s tears away.
“Hey… I am here, sleep well…” Wanwan cooed as she stroked the sleeping princess’s hair.
**
Prince Zhongxiu could not help but smile as he looked out of his windowsill into the inky dark sky. The few stars that scattered in the night sky seemed to be glowing more brilliantly, as if they were twinkling at him and congratulating him. Princess Wanwan has returned. His heart finally felt full again. This time round, he would certainly entertain the princess better and make sure she would not feel like leaving again. The prince reckoned that the princess must not have wanted to return to the palace because they had not been good hosts to her and Zhongxiu felt apologetic about it.
Zhongxiu had missed the wildling princess so much so that he had kept count of the number of the days the princess was gone.
“Princess Wanwan has really returned right?” Zhongtai spoke and interrupted his thoughts.
Prince Zhongxiu nodded, smiling foolishly.
“Feels like she is still not back yet. It has been days and she still has not come to find us yet,” Prince Zhongtai said with disappointment.
“That is because she is looking after our royal sister,” Zhongxiu returned in a rather defensive manner.
Zhongtai’s mouth curled into a taunting smile. “Right, the wildling princess has duties to our sister.”
Zhongxiu wanted to say that it was not Princess Wanwan’s duty to take care of their royal sister but decided to hold his tongue. Nevertheless, Princess Wanwan’s return this time round must hinge greatly upon her friendship with Princess Yexuan and Zhongxiu admired her all the more for that.
“It is just good that Princess Wanwan has returned, let’s go find her when our royal sister is better,” Zhongxiu said shyly.
Zhongtai grinned in agreement. As if remembering something urgent, Prince Zhongtai summoned for several palace maids.
He was ordering them to fetch the gifts that they had prepared for Princess Wanwan’s twelfth birthday.
“It is late at night.” Feeling apologetic for troubling the palace maids so late at night, Zhongxiu reminded his brother.
Grinning, Zhongtai replied. “I know, but we are going to see Princess Wanwan tomorrow, aren’t we? We need to be prepared with gifts.”
A crease of worry formed between Zhongxiu’s brows as he contemplated for a moment before nodding his head. Zhongtai’s words made sense. Chided himself mentally for not being as proactive as his elder brother, Zhongxiu made sure that he would rest well that night to present the best of himself to Princess Wanwan the next morning.
**
Towards the end of Spring, Wanwan had finally decided to pay a visit to her elder sister’s quarters. Yanyan was given a quarter that was closer to the inner rungs of the palace where the architecture was much more elaborate and lavish. Unlike where Wanwan and Yexuan lived, there were not many hints of nature except for a small stream that cut across the exterior of Yanyan’s quarters. To Wanwan’s knowledge, despite the lack of greenery in Yanyan’s place, where her sister lived was a prime location. It was not only located within the inner rung of the palace, it was extremely near the inner court, where the libraries, studies, and imperial gardens were concentrated at. This was where the imperial security was the tightest.
Also, they had double the number of palace maids staffed in the quarters within this inner rung as compared to Yexuan and her quarters. Perhaps, this was not an attribute to be envious about since that would mean that Yanyan had a lot less privacy as compared to her. Whenever Wanwan came to visit in the past, she would always feel watchful eyes upon her. Wanwan did not doubt that these palace maids would report every rise of the wind and movements of the grass in Yanyan’s quarters to the Empress directly. It irritated Wanwan slightly to think of how heavily guarded her sister was. In this stifling environment, Yanyan must have suffered tenfold compared to her.
They were having morning tea and desserts in the open of Yanyan’s manicured courtyard, enjoying the flowers that had blossomed later in spring. It had been nearly ten months since Wanwan last saw Yanyan. Yanyan looked much more mature, and her body had obtained more prominent curves. Looking at the relieved smile on Yanyan, Wanwan was reminded of just how much she had missed her elder sister. Despite missing her sister, she had not yearned for her sister’s excessive consternations. Also, Wanwan had not relieved herself of the guilt of nearly abandoning her elder sister in this palace, all by herself.
“You did not visit your elder sister even though you have returned to the palace for two weeks,” Yanyan said as she took a sip out from her teacup gracefully, like a member of the Pei court with refined mannerisms.
Trying to not let her sister’s changed mannerisms bother her, Wanwan shrugged and reached out for a sticky rice cake. Yanyan slapped the back of her hand away from the snacks.
“You did not answer me,” Yanyan said in a disgruntled voice.
Wanwan rubbed the back of her hand with a pout and replied, “I did not know that was a question. I thought it was merely a statement.”
Yanyan appeared shocked at her younger sister’s crudeness. “Wanwan! The audacity of you!” Yanyan half-scolded before she peered around furtively, as if afraid that she had spoken too loudly and failed to abide by the poise of the Pei court.
Giving her sister a cheeky look as she reached out with impossible quickness for the rice cake again, Wanwan said, “I am sorry, sister. Princess Yexuan was really sick so I was accompanying her.”
Reclining back a little and sucking in a deep breath before releasing it slowly, her elder sister nodded with an understanding look on her face. “How is Princess Yexuan now?”
“On the road to recovery,” Wanwan munched on her rice cake as she replied, “she was even able to write some poems yesterday and forced me to write some with her as well.”
A wry smile appeared on Yanyan’s face as she listened.
“That is really good. Well… we thought she would not be able to make it…”
“Before Spring ends… I know… I have heard it multiple times and in various iterations,” Wanwan finished.
Yanyan narrowed her eyes a little. “Still a rough little child after all these times. Anyway, Wanwan, stand up and turn around, let me take a good look at you.”
Frowning in distaste, Wanwan did as she was told by her sister.
“It’s only been ten months since we last met, not a few years, Yanyan,” Wanwan whined.
Nodding, as if she were satisfied with what she had observed, Yanyan patted Wanwan’s cheeks, and guided her sister to sit back down onto the stone stool.
“You are a child in her growing phase, many changes can occur to you,” Yanyan spoke like a mother which made Wanwan feel even more guilty for not returning earlier.
Wanwan would have leapt into her elder sister’s embrace if they had not been in a courtyard, surrounded by palace maids and royal guards alike. Yanyan would also likely have lectured her for her uncourtly behaviour.
“Anyway, shall we go into my room for some… discussions?” Yanyan later suggested and Wanwan knew what those discussions were going to be about.
Yanyan had ordered the palace maids to not disturb them for the next quarter of day or so. Once they were afforded privacy, her sister had dropped the question.
“Did you really come back for Princess Yexuan?”
Meeting Yanyan�
��s serious gaze, Wanwan nodded with a sigh.
“Good. Then that’s good. Once Princess Yexuan is well again, you will return to our homeland, immediately,” Yanyan said in a hushed tone.
Wanwan regarded her sister with an equally severe stare that was beyond her age as she further explained.
“Sister, I came back mainly for Princess Yexuan, but I have still not forgotten my original intentions to stay in the palace. I am getting you out of here and bringing you back to our homeland. I cannot stand the thought of leaving you here alone.”
Yanyan inclined her head, narrowed her eyes, and spoke in a dangerously low tone.
“You are just a child. Don’t you dare do anything out of your abilities.”
Squaring her jaws and refusing to back down. Wanwan pressed on.
“I would not be a child in a few years’ time. Your marriage could wait that long or… even if you are married, there would still be ways to get you out of the palace. We must not give up, Yanyan. Do you want to stay in this cage forever? Do you not wish to unfurl your wings again and fly across the vast plains that is our homelands? Do you not miss Miying at all?”
Yanyan’s face had purpled. “You!” The elder princess seemed almost ready to let out a barrage of scolding but managed to recompose herself with a steadying of her breath.
“You know I almost fainted when the messages came from our royal brothers? About you returning and about you… defying our father’s wishes.”
“Glad news are still reaching you even though you are kept so close to the Empress,” Wanwan said acidly.
Princess Yanyan had lost her cool and slammed her fist down on her desk, rattling the tea set on it. Wanwan remained unflinching.
“Wanwan, this is not one of your hunting games. These are affairs between two countries with many lives at stakes. Not the lives of beasts but the lives of people. No matter what my wishes or wants are, they are only secondary, tertiary, or could not even be given thought to compared to our father Khan’s conquest.”
