‘But Quinn was working for Nemesis,’ I said, shocked into trying to make sense of it all. ‘If Murdoch wanted to hide you, why would he give you up to them?’
Ten shook her head. ‘He didn’t always work for them. That came later. While his own wife was still alive, everything was OK – at least, as far as I can remember. I have tried to find out what I can, but despite my advanced rate of development I was still very young when these things happened.’
It seemed that Thomas Murdoch couldn’t trust his buddy, after all. He’d eventually given Ten to the Nemesis Project.
‘For a long time, I couldn’t understand why he would do it,’ she said. ‘He genuinely didn’t care about money. And I believe that he and Murdoch were friends at one time. That wasn’t all a lie.’
‘Then why?’ I couldn’t understand it, either. I wondered if Ten was deluding herself.
‘I discovered that an Elder vampire from New York had ties to Nemesis.’
Oh, of course, I thought. I knew this part. ‘Nicole,’ I said.
Ten took a deep breath, almost as though steeling herself. ‘Her full name was Nicoletta Bertonelli, and she compelled Quinn to give me up. She let him live, because what sort of a threat could he be? Confined to a wheelchair. Wifeless. Childless. It was shortly after that he began working for Nemesis.’
My head was spinning. It was just revelation after revelation from this girl. ‘Nicole was responsible for Nemesis getting hold of you?’
‘Yes.’ Her lip curled. ‘I did what I had to do.’
She meant by ending the Elder vampire’s long existence. I wasn’t convinced that it was something she ‘had’ to do, but I could understand the desire for revenge.
‘So, she was Nicoletta Bertonelli,’ I said, half to myself. I hadn’t thought to ask Theo for more information on her background, but it wasn’t like he’d been in a good way since her death. Perhaps I should feel more angry with Ten for her actions, because of their effect on my own life – and the life of my Maker. But I was tired of anger.
‘Yes,’ Ten said, thinking I’d been asking her a question. ‘Nicoletta Bertonelli, known simply as Nicole, was born in Naples in the early part of the sixteenth century.’
I blinked, processing that. I’d known that she was old, of course, but . . . wow. She’d been five hundred years old.
‘Was Quinn under Nicole’s influence the whole time? I mean, maybe he wasn’t cooperating with the Project of his own free will.’
‘I’m not clear on that, either.’ Ten’s eyes were hard. ‘I don’t think I care, one way or the other.’
I would have felt the same. I didn’t say that because I doubted it would make any difference to Ten. Instead, I asked another question, trying to get as much information as I could before I was taken away again. I couldn’t imagine that Stark and her merry band were anywhere near finished with me.
‘What I don’t get,’ I said, ‘is what Quinn could have done for Nemesis. He had been injured by that time, right?’
Ten looked away from me. ‘From what I understand, he targeted known vampires – investigated them, collected intel, and then handed it all over so that the Project could organize their extermination or capture.’
I thought about that file I’d found on Quinn’s computer, the one with my name listed. Targets. ‘Did you do any of that? The exterminating part, I mean?’
‘No, I was still too young. That was, of course, my intended function once I grew up. It was what they were training me for.’
‘I bet they were thrilled that you grew at twice the expected rate.’
‘Yes,’ she agreed, with a gleam in her eye. ‘I am quite certain that they were very pleased once they made that discovery. Also, I proved useful onsite if captured vampires got . . . difficult. Even as a child I was strong and fast. A dhampir can kill a vampire with almost any weapon.’
‘And what was she doing with these vampires she collected? Stark, I mean.’ I could guess, but somehow I needed to hear Ten say it.
‘Dr Stark’s work was very secretive, potentially groundbreaking and highly illegal. It involved finding out how vampires . . . work. Every single thing about them. They had to be taken apart, then put back together. Over and over again.’
Her monotone didn’t make it any less horrifying.
My throat contracted and I swallowed bile. ‘You mean, she was experimenting on those captured vampires?
‘Yes. To her, you see, the creatures she worked with were no longer entirely human. That is what she taught me, anyway. The same goes for me, but in a different way.’
I still couldn’t see her face clearly, but I didn’t doubt her word. Not for a second.
Not long after those revelations, they took me to a very different kind of prison.
I felt like I was in a weird sort of reality TV show. Only, I wasn’t looking for love or learning to dance, or trying to win a million dollars by surviving on a desert island with a bunch of losers. The Facility staff – no doubt following Dr Stark’s twisted agenda – were moving me from location to location, and then taking notes on what happened. That’s how I imagined it, anyway. One test after another.
It was pitch black in this new place. I waited for my eyes to adjust to my surroundings, getting ready for whatever these people would throw at me next. Dr Stark had clearly given up on the softly-softly approach and dumped me in the Nemesis Project’s version of a dungeon. Oh, joy . . .
No silver in the walls, but everything was solid stone. I was surrounded by God only knows how many meters of rock. Were these the building’s foundations? The walls felt cool, but I didn’t know if that was a clue of some kind. Perhaps the whole building was underground. The only illumination seemed to be coming from the cameras that were unsubtly placed in each of the top four corners of the ‘room’. I could probably jump high enough to break them, but not while I was so weak. I didn’t want to waste my energy trying.
I turned a slow circle, trying to get my bearings. I needed to escape; that’s what Theo had taught me. Survival. I laughed to myself, a little hysterically. Escape? I was further away from that possibility than ever. I’d reached rock bottom. (No pun intended.) But I had to find a way out. Surely there was a door here somewhere.
That was when I realized, once again, that I wasn’t alone.
I could hear breathing.
And I could smell blood.
The cameras flashed their little green lights and tracked my movement as I followed the fresh scent. I was almost certain there was something familiar beneath that iron-rich aroma, but I didn’t want to allow myself to think that far ahead. I didn’t want to think about someone I cared about being so badly hurt.
‘That you, Moth?’ Jace Murdoch’s voice came from a shadowy corner. ‘I can’t see a thing.’
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so I settled for kneeling beside him.
‘How did you know it was me?’ I asked.
‘I could hear you cursing when they brought you in,’ he said. I think he wanted to smile, but it turned into a wince as he moved into a sitting position. The lingering smell of blood told me that he was injured, but I couldn’t tell quite where.
‘What did they do to you?’ I tried to check him for wounds, but he brushed my hands away.
‘Stop fussing, I’m OK.’
‘You’re not. You’re bleeding.’
He rolled his eyes. ‘I forgot that you’re a human-sized bloodhound. Don’t worry about me. Why don’t we just concentrate on getting out of here?’
I resisted the temptation to check him for wounds again, forcing myself to sit back on my heels and give him space. ‘I don’t think there is a way out. Not an easy one, at least.’ Of course, my gut chose that moment to clench with pain. And need. I growled as Jace reached toward me. ‘No,’ I said. ‘Don’t touch me.’
‘Hey, just because I wouldn’t let you touch me . . .’
‘Seriously, Jace,’ I said. ‘Don’t. Remember what happened last time.’
&n
bsp; Last time, last year, we’d been at Theo’s house and I was injured and hurting, in need of blood. Jace had tried to tempt me with the bagged stuff, but my inner-monster had decided she’d far rather take a piece out of him. Luckily, he’d been able to fight me off for long enough until Theo arrived to rescue my would-be prey.
I shuddered, remembering the pounding of Jace’s heart and the feel of his body pinned beneath mine. Helpless. I gritted my teeth and tried to picture cute things, like fluffy bunnies, but that didn’t work, because in my imagination I sank my fangs into their furry flesh and drank my fill.
‘Oh, gross,’ I muttered, burying my face in my hands.
This was only a struggle because of the constant abuse my body and mind had taken since I’d been brought here. You’re stronger than this, I reminded myself sternly. Don’t forget it.
Jace, meanwhile, had done the sensible thing and put some distance between us. The cameras whirred and followed him. Two on him, two still pointing at me.
I breathed slowly through my mouth, forcing myself to calm down. It seemed to be working, at least for a moment – and at least while Jason Murdoch was on the other side of our not-so-cozy little dungeon.
I could think straight again, but I didn’t like the direction my thoughts were taking.
‘Jace,’ I began, staying where I was on the ground and trying not to stare at him like I wanted to eat him. ‘How did you get injured? That’s not from Subject Ten, is it? The wound’s too fresh – I wouldn’t be able to smell the blood so clearly.’
He slumped against the far wall, looking pale. It could simply be from blood loss, or because he was effectively trapped in a small space with a predator.
‘I was going to fight her, but we’d only just gotten started when some of Stark’s goons showed up. I tried to take them all on, but there were too many. I got beat up for my trouble, but nobody used a blade on me back then.’ He rubbed a hand across his eyes, smearing traces of blood. ‘That happened here.’
‘When?’ I pressed. ‘Exactly, I mean. When they first brought you in? Or more recently . . .’
‘Does it matter?’
‘It matters,’ I said, ignoring the sudden desire to spring from my position on the ground. I gripped my hands into fists. I could fight this hunger. I was better than this.
He shifted nervously, as though sensing my mood. ‘One of the guards cut my arm before dumping me in here. It can’t have been more than half an hour ago.’
‘On Stark’s orders?’ I asked. I just needed confirmation of my theory. Then I could allow myself to get really mad.
‘Yeah, she told him to do it. I thought it was weird, but I figured it was some kind of screwed-up punishment.’
I nodded slowly. ‘And then they brought me in here. Hungry. Injured. Half-drugged.’
‘Right,’ he said. His eyes opened wider. ‘Right!’ He got it. The boy had finally figured it out.
I hated this. I wanted to lash out at something – at someone, make them pay – but there was nobody around except Jace. Bizarre at it was, he was my ally now. I mustn’t hurt him. We’d need each other to get out.
But he smelled so good.
‘Jace,’ I said, ‘I’m sorry.’
‘For what?’ He sounded calm, but he took another step back. He was going to run out of room very soon.
‘For what I think I’m about to do.’ I stopped breathing all together. Just switched it off. I hated doing it – really, truly hated it with all my being – but I had to do whatever it took not to smell the blood: the delicious scent of Jace that was filling our little slice of hell down here beneath the Nemesis Project.
I shuddered, went completely still, and tried to find the humanity within me. Marie was in there somewhere. No matter how many times I told myself I was a monster now, I hadn’t lost that hopeful girl I’d once been. I’d done it before – resisted my new nature, I mean – so that meant I could do it again. I tried desperately to find Marie in the growing darkness, but this time it was a losing battle.
It wasn’t like fighting an addiction, a craving. I’m a vampire. That’s what I am now, and vampires must drink blood to survive. I needed blood; that’s all there was to it. My existence depended on it. And there was a living, breathing source of it approximately four meters away. I punched the wall and felt little satisfaction when a tiny chip of rock flew away. My knuckles bled and stung, and I watched with a sort of mesmerized fascination as the flesh slowly began to knit itself back together over bone.
I squeezed my fist, open, shut. Open. Shut. I gritted my teeth together, clenched my jaw, tried to pretend that my fangs weren’t fully extended and that my gums weren’t throbbing in time to the rhythm of Jace’s heart.
‘They want to film it,’ he said, his voice trembling with barely repressed rage. ‘They want to film you feeding.’
I just sat there, carefully and deliberately not breathing.
His voice got louder. ‘But that doesn’t even make sense. You won’t show up on camera, right?’
I watched my hands clenching, open . . . closed. Tried to focus on what he was saying. Tried to form human words. ‘I might, a little. Like . . . a blur. Or a shadow, maybe. Because I’m so new. It probably doesn’t matter to them, anyway. Maybe they only want to see the effects of an attack.’
‘They’ve got you in the worst state they could,’ Jace said, his tone thoughtful now. ‘Starving. Exhausted and scared. It’d be clever, if it wasn’t so utterly sick.’
That was exactly what they’d done, these so-called scientists who ran the Nemesis Project. They actually had a vampire to study – a real vampire, and a young one at that: the perfect opportunity to see how the monster would react under a variety of conditions. That really was why they kept moving me around, keeping me disoriented.
Jace was just unlucky enough to be the disposable human.
He stopped pacing. ‘What if . . .?’ He took a shaky breath. ‘What if I just let you feed from me . . . a little? I’m bleeding anyway. You wouldn’t even need to bite me. Much.’
I looked up at him from my ball of misery on the ground. ‘Have you lost your freaking mind? I’m so hungry, Jace. I might not be able to stop.’
‘But what if you could stop?’ he said, actually taking a step toward me and beginning to roll up the sleeve of his shirt. The same black shirt that I’d thought he looked so cute in when we met before Stark’s talk.
Jace kept talking, never taking his eyes off me. ‘What if you just took enough. Enough to get you calm – maybe even enough to give you the strength to get us both out of here. That would be worth it, right?’
‘There is no way out, Jace.’ I gestured wildly around us. ‘Do you see a way out? All I see are cameras. There aren’t any doors!’
‘They got us in here,’ he said, all super-reasonable. ‘That means there’s a door somewhere. If you’re at full strength – even half strength, I know you’ll find it and get us both out of here.’
My head snapped up. ‘You have more faith in me than I do, right now.’
‘Moth, we don’t have time to argue.’ His lips twisted into that familiar half-smile. ‘I can’t believe I have to talk you into this . . .’
A wave of sadness hit me. ‘You told me once that I’d never get to taste your blood.’
His half-smile turned into something mocking, but I don’t think it was me that he was laughing at. ‘Yeah, well, that’ll teach me to be such an absolutist. Never say never and all that.’
I shook my head, trying to dislodge the smell of fresh blood as though it were nothing but troublesome cobwebs. I forced myself to focus on what Jace was saying.
‘Go on,’ he said. ‘Maybe I’ll even like it.’
And that was enough for me. It was enough for her. For Moth: the other me beneath the skin. I was so tired and hungry. I wanted out of here. And, truth be told, I wanted Jace.
My eyes were glowing so brightly I could see every detail of Jace’s expression in the near-dark of the room. He didn�
�t look scared, but there was a sort of tension in his jaw that made me think of someone waiting for bad news. His eyes glittered a little crazily, but I didn’t care about that anymore. All I cared about was that I could hear his heart, taste his pulse, and I could see the blood dripping from a deep cut in his forearm.
‘Stop fighting it,’ Jace said. ‘Stop fighting her. Let go.’
So I did. I let her out. The monster burst out of its cage and she howled her release. Marie O’Neal disappeared. Even Moth, with all her quirky, self-deprecation, faded in the wake of that crimson tide of hunger and hurt.
I didn’t know who I was anymore, but that didn’t matter in the face of this. Nothing mattered, only slaking a thirst that would never end – that could never end as long as I endured as a vampire beyond death. Life, death . . . the question of whether or not I even possessed a soul . . . everything went away as I pushed Jace to the ground and grabbed his arm in both my hands, pressing my lips almost reverently to it.
I’d only fed from Theo before, and only three times in the space of a year. This was different in ways I couldn’t even begin to express.
Jase Murdoch’s blood slid down my throat and it felt like coming home.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Drink Deep
This was what being a vampire was about. It was the thing I hated most, but it was also the thing I secretly, guiltily craved: drinking the life-force of another being. A living, human being. And not just any human, but someone to whom I felt attached. Not in a Maker-and-fledgling kind of relationship, which was a blood bond of a different kind. But in a way that was about choice.
I’d chosen Jace, on some level, even though he was about as far away from the ideal ‘partner’ as it was possible to get. He was everything I should be afraid of. Everything my nature should automatically distrust.
And yet, I couldn’t help it. He was bitter and funny and warm, damaged and in pain; he was brave and strong, yet also vulnerable. He was utterly human, and I was drawn to him. I needed to drink him, and I wanted to drink deep.
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