by Nicole Dykes
Copyright © 2021 by nicole dykes
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
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Contents
Playlist
1. Everly
2. Cooper
3. Everly
4. Cooper
5. Everly
6. Cooper
7. Everly
8. Cooper
9. Everly
10. Cooper
11. Everly
12. Cooper
13. Everly
14. Cooper
15. Everly
16. Cooper
17. Everly
18. Cooper
19. Everly
20. Cooper
21. Everly
22. Cooper
23. Everly
24. Cooper
25. Everly
26. Cooper
27. Everly
28. Cooper
29. Everly
30. Cooper
31. Everly
32. Cooper
33. Everly
34. Cooper
35. Everly
36. Cooper
37. Everly
38. Cooper
39. Everly
40. Cooper
41. Cooper
42. Everly
43. Cooper
44. Everly
45. Everly
46. Cooper
Note from the Author
Peek at Regrets
Other Works
Collision
Hayden Calnin
Put It On Me
Matt Maeson
Walked Through Hell
Anson Seabra
WITHOUT YOU
The Kid LAROI
Sea of Love
Langhorne Slim & Jill Andrews
Wish You Were Here
Incubus
What About Us
P!nk
Flames
Mod Sun (feat. Avril Lavigne)
Strong Enough
Sheryl Crow
You Could Be Happy
Snow Patrol
The Sharp Hint Of New Tears
Dashboard Confessional
Nothing Left to Lose
Mat Kearney
Dare You to Move
Switchfoot
It Ends Tonight
The All-American Rejects
Never Say Never
The Fray
All I Want
Kodaline
The Kill
Thirty Seconds To Mars
Broken
lovelytheband
Some Nights
fun.
Rhythm Of Love
Plain White T’s
Come To Me
Goo Goo Dolls
Run
Snow Patrol
“I don’t know about this, Aria.”
My little sister pouts, huffing and taking a seat on the bed in my apartment. I live off campus, but she’s a freshman and stuck in the dorms. So naturally, she spends most of her time here.
“Ev, we have to go. It’s going to be so much fun.”
“Fun?” I toss a pair of boots into a suitcase next to her on the bed. “With Cooper?”
She rolls her pretty blue eyes at me. She has mom’s eyes. I have a strange combination of both my mom and dad’s eyes that are a weird mixture of gray, green, and blue. Everyone jokes that they change color with my moods.
“Yes, with Cooper and Liam. You know, that guy you’ve been dating for almost three years.”
I smile, thinking about my boyfriend, Liam. Tall, smart, sweet, all-American Liam. We met our freshman year of college and haven’t spent much time apart since. He and his best friend, Cooper, are from here and have known each other since they were in diapers. Unfortunately, that means they’re a package deal.
I haven’t spent much time without that asshole either. He’s a smug, arrogant prick who made it clear from day one he didn’t want me dating his best friend. And now . . . now he’s dating my little sister.
“I’m excited about spending Christmas break with Liam and you. But Cooper,” I groan and toss more clothes into the suitcase because it’s already been decided. We’re leaving today, but I’m still pouting.
“I happen to like Cooper.”
I shake my head and curse myself for bringing Aria to the barbecue at Liam and Cooper’s house a couple of months ago. She’s shy and hadn’t been making friends at school as easily as I’d hoped, so my dumb ass dragged her to their party.
Big. Mistake.
Of course, Cooper Kingston had to go after my sister like he does with every other girl, but my sister isn’t easy. She made him work for it, and now, they’ve been dating for over a month.
“I don’t get it, Aria. How can you like him? He’s a pig.” A gorgeous, confident pig, but still.
She laughs easily, sweeping her blond hair out of her eyes. “He’s not a pig. He’s really sweet with me.”
“Really?” I take a seat next to her. “You’re beautiful, Aria. You can find a nice hot guy who doesn’t fuck everything that moves.”
“He hasn’t. I don’t think he’s been with anyone else since we met.”
“You don’t think?” My sister is naïve. Three years younger than me, but it seems like more. I love her, but she looks at the world with wide eyes and sees good in everything.
“He said he hasn’t.”
“And you believe him?”
She doesn’t hesitate, not even for a second. “I do. You have to have faith in something, Ev.”
“Yeah, I’m not ever going to put my faith in Coop.”
She laughs. “Will you hurry up? I’m ready to get on the road.”
A four-and-a-half-hour road trip to the middle of nowhere, Kansas, where Cooper’s family has a cabin during the winter. This is a very bad idea. “Don’t worry, Aria. The whole lot of nothingness will wait for us.”
She grins and lays back on my bed. “I think it’s going to be romantic. A cabin out in the middle of nowhere. It doesn’t even have Wi-Fi or cell service.”
I groan, “It sounds like hell.”
She giggles, grabbing one of my pillows and sitting up, crossing her legs and looking up at me. “It sounds great. He said there’s a hot tub and a fireplace. We can have hot cocoa and sit around the fire. Can you imagine? It’s going to be so much fun. I packed cards and all kinds of snacks. Just us for a whole month. No pressure from Mom and Dad. No pressure from school.”
I stare at her, knowing how hard our parents are on us. Four kids. The children of hardcore, driven surgeons. And Aria is the youngest. They baby her, but they still expect her to be great. Just like them.
“I still think we should tell them where we’re going.”
She shakes her head. “And you say I’m the good one.”
She is. By far. “What if something happens?” We’re driving out to the boonies where there isn’t a town for miles. Where there’s no cell service and only wheat fields for as far as you can see.
And our parents will think we’re here on campus.
“Nothing is going to happen. And it’s not like Mom and Dad care about the holidays. I can’t even remember the last Christmas we all spent together.”
It’s true. Our parents were always on call. Holidays were not a big deal in our household, and in fact, I remember waking up on Christmas morning to a pile of cash on my dresser and a note saying they’d be back in a few days.
They care. They just don’t know how to show it very well.
When we told them we were ta
king winter classes and staying on campus, neither parent batted an eye. They barely check in with us, and when they do, it’s usually a quick email or text.
I sigh and zip up my suitcase. “Okay, but a month is a really long time. And I mean, you haven’t even had sex with Cooper yet.”
She bites her bottom lip, and my stomach drops. Ugh, no.
I don’t want to know, not really, but I still have to ask. Morbid curiosity gets the best of me. “Right?”
She giggles, her cheeks pinking up slightly. “No. Not yet.”
“Not yet . . .” I sit next to her, feeling that “yet.” “So, this trip?”
She nods, looking innocent and sweet as she blushes. “Yeah. I think it’s time. I really like him, and oh my God, Ev, he’s the best kisser.”
“Gross,” I groan and lean back on my bed. “I do not want to listen to Cooper defiling my little sister.”
She laughs as I cover my eyes, and she jerks my hands away, looking down at me. “I’m not that little. I’m so tired of being treated like a baby. And he doesn’t treat me that way.”
“That’s because he wants to fuck you.”
“Nice.” She grabs a pillow and hits me with it. We laugh as I toss it back at her.
“You don’t have to, you know. If he’s pressuring you—”
“He’s not,” she quickly interrupts me. “I’m not a little kid anymore, and it’s like he actually sees me. He pushes me to get out there and have fun, but he doesn’t pressure me to do anything I don’t want to.”
“Anyone else.” I sit up as she climbs off the bed. “You could have dated anyone else.”
She laughs at me, her laugh as sweet as she is. “I know. I’m sorry, but have you seen him?”
I fake gag, and she laughs, grabbing my hand and pulling me up. “Come on. They’re waiting, and I don’t want to get there too late.”
“Can’t have that.”
She chuckles, and I grab my bag, lugging it down to my car.
I can’t stop the nagging feeling inside. I’m excited to spend a month with my boyfriend, locked away from the rest of the world, but something just doesn’t feel right.
Still, I never could tell my little sister no.
“Yeah, Mom. I know. We’ll be safe.”
I smile as I listen to Liam on the phone with his mom. Mrs. Anderson is the epitome of a mom. She cooks pancakes on the weekends. She sewed homemade costumes for Liam and me every Halloween. She’s the best.
“Yeah, but don’t forget there’s no service at the cabin. So it’ll be a month before you hear from me. Don’t send a search party.”
He laughs easily at something she says, and it makes me laugh. Liam is also the epitome of the perfect kid. He always was. He didn’t get into trouble. He had straight A’s and played football and basketball. He’s good at everything. The fucker even has dimples that drive the girls wild.
But he’s only interested in one girl and has been since freshmen year.
Everly.
Opinionated, strong, beautiful, ballbusting Everly.
She hates my guts and has since the day we met when I tried to get Liam to be my wingman with a set of twins at the same party where they met. How was I supposed to know the girl he was hanging out with would be the one he spent every waking moment with for the next three years?
“Okay, Mom. I know. I’ll miss you too, but we’ll celebrate Christmas when we get back.”
He hangs up and tosses his phone onto my bed as I finish packing for the trip. “You couldn’t do it, huh?”
He laughs with that easy booming laugh he’s always had. “Hell, no. I’m not lying to my mom. And you know her, if she thought I was on campus and ignoring her, her ass would have been pounding on our door. She’d have a statewide search going.”
I chuckle and toss a pack of condoms into my bag. “That’s probably true.”
His parents care, really care. They’re the kind of parents who check in and send leftovers home every time we visit.
He picks up the condoms, raising his eyebrow. “Really?”
I shrug. “What?”
“You’re going to fuck my girlfriend’s sister in the cabin we’re staying in. Ev is going to cut off your balls.”
I cross my arms, thinking about his girlfriend. “I’m not staying a month at a cabin in the middle of nowhere without the possibility of sex. As long as Aria’s up for it, it’s going to happen.”
He tosses the condoms back into the bag, shaking his head with that wide, toothy grin. “She’s going to kill you.”
“Aria’s eighteen. She’s gorgeous and smart. She’s capable of making that decision herself, and don’t fucking tell me that you won’t be keeping Everly busy anyway.”
He looks almost pained for a moment and then tries to wipe it away, but I don’t miss it. “Right.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
He starts to leave, but I grab his arm. “I’ve known you since you were still pissing your pants. What the fuck is wrong?”
He sighs heavily and doesn’t look like my best friend. “I fucked up.”
That’s definitely not him. “What do you mean?”
He looks pained, like he might throw up and leans against my dresser. “I . . .” He shakes his head. “I fucked up. Bad.”
How bad?”
The doorbell to our house rings, and he looks frantic before starting toward the door.
“Liam.” I follow after him. “What happened? Tell me.”
We stop in front of the front door, and he looks sick. “I cheated on her.”
My jaw drops. He has to be messing with me. He wouldn’t do that to her. He’s the most faithful motherfucker there ever was. “With who?”
He shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. It was just once, but it’ll kill her. Everly. I can’t believe I did it.”
“We’re about to ride in the car with her and her sister for four hours. Are you going to tell her?”
His shoulders droop. “I don’t know.”
The doorbell dings again, and I hear Aria’s warm giggle on the other side of the solid door. “Was it just once?”
He nods. “Yeah. I told her it couldn’t happen again. It was just a stupid fuckup.”
Jesus. I never saw this coming. I know how much he cares about Everly, and I trust my best friend. If he says it was just once, then it was. I grab his shoulders and look into his tortured eyes. “Your secret’s safe with me.”
His lips try to pull up in a smile but don’t quite make it. “I can’t believe it. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”
I hate how tormented he is by this and grasp his shoulders tighter. “Then it didn’t. It didn’t happen. You used a rubber?”
He nods, his eyes wide. “Of course.”
“Then it didn’t happen.”
He swallows thickly, his eyes showing his guilt. “I don’t know if I can keep this secret from her.”
“What good can come from telling her? Huh? It’ll just hurt you both. You aren’t going to be with this mystery girl. You’ll want Ev. And if you tell her, there’s no way you can have her. What’s the point? You’ll both just be miserable.” No way Everly will forgive him. She’ll write him off forever if she doesn’t kill him.
He nods, patting my shoulder and moves away from me to pull the door open. I try to regain my composure as Aria bounces in, wrapping her arms around my neck. “Hey, Cooper! I’m so excited I can barely stand it. Took you guys long enough to answer.”
Liam looks guilty as he grabs the back of his neck, not looking at his girlfriend or her sister and instead, looking down at the floor. “Uh yeah, sorry. We were finishing up packing.”
Everly is studying him, her eyes a stormy cloud of gray as she looks him over. There’s no denying she’s gorgeous. Beyond gorgeous. Her long black hair is straight, and her red lips are in a pout. They usually are. She’s wearing a hat, gloves, and a puffy coat, and not looking at all pleased to be here. She kisses his lips, still sea
rching. “You okay?”
He finally pulls his gaze from the floor and gives her a nod, snapping out of it and kissing her nose. “I am. Are you guys ready for this?”
She shakes her head as Aria nods exuberantly and nudges her sister. “Ev will get excited soon.”
I wrap an arm around her waist, pulling her small body to mine. She’s the light to Everly’s dark. Blond and perky. Not usually my type, but there was something about this sweet girl that grabbed my attention and held on. I don’t remember ever working so hard for a first kiss, and then that was all I got for two weeks.
She’s started giving in to desire more and more, though, and exploring what she likes. She’s told me she’s ready. Still, even if I have condoms in my bag and I talk a big game, I’m not so sure she is.
“I need to pack the booze,” I say, closing the door behind the girls and not letting the blistering wind in any longer.
Everly crosses her arms. “By all means, let’s get you plastered for a month straight.”
I ignore her tone and flash a bright, over-the-top smile at her. “Hell, yeah. Maybe we can get you to loosen up. Maybe even remove that stick from your ass.”
She glares at me, and Liam tugs her close to him, whispering something in her ear that seems to calm her.
Oh yeah, this is going to be a great trip. My best friend, my brand-new girlfriend, and a chick who hates my guts.
Yup, this is my definition of hell. My little sister is curled up in the front seat with Cooper, giggling and holding his hand as he drives us through a fucking blizzard.
And I mean a blizzard. We drove for two hours with no weather issues, but now the snowfall is so heavy, we can barely see. Cooper says he’s driven through worse and his obnoxious SUV can handle the snow just fine, but the sick feeling in my gut has only increased.
