by L. L. Ash
I just nodded.
“And what the hell is the problem with that? Why are you sitting here sobbing on the ground when a super handsome hunk just said he loves you?”
I shook my head violently.
“Daddy said I can’t see him anymore!”
Her face turned to steel.
“Daddy says you can’t see him so you’re what? You’re going to break up with the best thing that’s happened to you since me and Josie?”
“What else do I do?” I demanded.
“You tell dear old dad to fuck off and you marry that beautiful man!”
I scoffed.
“Everything I have is dependent on my family! My home, my future...”
“Come live with me!” She gaped. “You seriously can’t be considering breaking up with him?”
I just cried again.
“Oh Fae… This fucking sucks...” Cambria mumbled into my hair as I fell apart all over again.
Roman’s called three times, texted eight times and he even knocked on my door.
I didn’t answer.
It’d been a week since the nightmare Sunday at my parents’ house, and I had finally made my decision.
The series of texts went something like this.
Italian: Please pick up the phone
Italian: Fae?
Italian: Please Fae
Italian: Pick up
Italian: Pixie?
Italian: Are you really going to ignore me?
Italian: I need you to answer the fucking phone, Fae.
Italian: I’m at your door. Please talk to me
It made me cry every time one of those messages come through, sometimes on their own and sometimes in pairs.
When my phone lit up again, I saw the word Italian glaring back at me.
Swallowing all my pride and every last ounce of happiness I could manage to bottle before shattering every last bit I had left, I answered.
“Fae?” He sounded surprised that I’d answered.
Hell, I was surprised I answered, too. I didn’t want to do this...I didn’t want to…
“Roman,” was all I said back.
Good. Names. We could start this awful conversation with our names.
“Why have you been ignoring me, Pix? What the hell is going on?” he asked breathlessly, the sound of a door closing behind him.
“I can’t see you anymore,” I blurted.
Great. Wonderful job, Fae.
“WHAT?” he roared, shock and anger flooding his voice.
“I’m not going to marry Justin, but I’m going to take the bar exam, and I’m going to do what my parents ask.”
“What the fucking HELL?” he started but I interrupted him.
“I’ve always done what they asked, Roman. And they’ve never led me wrong. They have so much more experience than I do, and I know they love me and only want the best for me. So for now, I’m going to do it their way.”
“Fae!” he shouted. “What about the bakery? What about your dreams, your happiness? What about ME?!”
“I...” My throat closed up so I couldn’t speak.
“I love you Fae! Doesn’t that mean anything to you?” he breathed, the fight suddenly out of his voice.
“It means everything...” I whispered, hoping he didn’t hear me.
“If it meant anything you wouldn’t do this.”
His voice cracked and I imagined his blue eyes flooding with tears. Tears falling down his handsome face and getting lost in his short beard.
Tears for me.
Salty drops fell down my face as I forced my eyes closed and breathed out, “I'm sorry, Roman,” before hanging up.
Chapter Fourteen
Roman
I stared at the phone in my hand, the little bastard blinked off the call, confirming that she had definitely hung up on me. She broke up with me, then hung up on me.
After I told her I loved her.
Anger boiled up from inside my guts and I roared. Legit roared in rage as I swiped every last thing off my desk.
Including my laptop and all the files stacked up from the last week that I still hadn’t gone through because I was so fucking distracted with Fae and what was happening between us.
Evidently I was wrong.
Evidently there was nothing between us.
Evidently the woman who I had just professed my love to for the second time, unrequited, not only did not share the sentiment, but she was hiding what she truly felt.
Which was absolutely nothing.
People rushed into the office, at the noise I was creating, my hands pulling down anything they could get ahold of and smashing it to the ground.
“Whoa!” Freddie called like I was a horse. “Ok, I don’t know what happened, but you need to take a chill pill man. Breathe.”
Rosie was next, having evidently left her client to come see what the ruckus was about.
Nothing could settle me.
Nothing could feel right again.
Then Cambria came in.
Tears were streaking down her cheek as she approached, her phone in her hand.
“She’s wrong,” was all she said before pulling me into her thin, fragile arms and holding me.
That was when I let loose and bawled like a baby.
The door closed a moment later and it was just me and Cambria, her stroking my hair, telling me how Fae was wrong, how Fae was stupid for breaking up with me.
And while I agreed, and while the arms around me felt nice, they weren’t the arms I wanted. They weren’t attached to the woman I loved.
So instead of sinking and drowning in the blood of my own shattered heart, I sat up, thrust my fingers through my hair and wiped off my cheeks where a couple rogue tears had fallen.
“Thanks, Cam,” I breathed, shoving every last bit of pain and sadness and anger into a little box so far down that I could bury it and never look back.
“I hate this,” she said, wiping at her own tears.
“She won’t affect your job here, don’t worry,” was all I said back before stooping to pick up the papers I’d scattered all over the floor.
Cambria helped me, not one more word said between us as we picked up my office, setting everything to right.
Except my laptop. That was broken to hell and I’d need to get a replacement.
Fae
Cambria and Josie refused to come.
It was my congratulations party for passing the bar exam, and neither of the two people in the world that really, truly loved me were there.
Make that three, but obviously Roman wouldn’t be there, seeing as how I stomped on his heart basically the moment he offered it to me.
My insides spun in nausea over the whole thing.
Daddy had given me a nod of approval when I’d told him I’d broken up with Roman and Mother smiled, then immediately started going on about the wedding she was still planning.
And no matter what I said, she wouldn’t stop. It was as if they honestly believed they could bully me into marrying that asshole Justin without my consent.
So I’d meandered around the room, staying on the opposite side of the room as both my parents and the Von family.
Daddy eventually raised his glass to everyone and made a toast to me, then to me and Justin in our ‘engagement’ before he and Mr. Von went off to his office to smoke and chat like gentlemen do.
“About time you came to your senses,” that familiar, slimy voice said from behind me.
A hand slipped around my waist, dipping too low onto my butt as he moved in closer.
I pushed at Justin’s chest and clenched my teeth.
“Just because everyone thinks we’re getting married doesn’t mean we are. I still have to say ‘I do’ for that to work, in case you forgot.”
“Oh, you will.” Justin smiled smoothly, looking around the room. “You know what’s best for you. Besides, you’re not getting that job at my firm until we’re married and that pussy is on lockdown. I hope you cleaned it al
l out down there really good. Somehow I’m going to have to tolerate that that fucker was inside you...”
He made a distasteful face.
My chest burned in indignation.
“I will not marry you. Don’t worry.” I growled at him, poking my fingernail into his chest through the tux shirt he was wearing. “So don’t worry yourself over the state of my pussy.”
He huffed, a bemused smile on his face.
“Besides, how could I ever marry you after having him? He was ten times the lay you ever were. I never realized you were so lazy and boring.”
Heat creeped up his neck, anger reddening his face as his hand clenched around my side, probably leaving bruises on my skin from his fingers.
But it was worth it to see him so mad.
That was only a fraction of the anger I’d felt when he’d cheated on me. It was nice for him to get a taste of his own medicine.
“Fae!” My mother came strolling up to us, a pleasant smile on her face. “Your father asked to speak with you in his office.”
What? Didn’t he just disappear with Mr. Von back there?
Taking any excuse to leave the party, I made my way to Daddy’s office, passing Mr. Von on the way, who looked… amused.
Daddy was behind his desk, puffing on a cigar like his life depended on it, staring at the screen of his computer.
“Fae,” he growled when I entered the room. “Did you know?”
“Did I know what?” I immediately snapped back.
Daddy smacked his fist on the desk and swung the laptop over to me while fairly shouting, “Did you know who he is?”
On the screen, I saw a young version of Roman, no tattoos, hair chopped close to his head with no earrings, but there was no mistaking that smile and those deep, lake blue eyes.
He stood beside his father and another man, older and grey. His grandpa, maybe.
“He’s the son of the most influential man in the state. One of the most influential in the country!”
Daddy was practically hyperventilating.
What?
I looked at the picture again, eyes dropping down to the article.
It was when his grandpa passed away, leaving a big chunk of his real estate empire in the hands of his grandson, the next in line. The heir.
He left him millions in both assets and cash.
Oh my God… he was a multi-millionaire. He’d given up his family legacy, an empire, to follow his dream.
Tears watered in my eyes as it sunk in; made sense.
No wonder he was so strong to encourage my dreams, for me to do something that I loved. He had made the ultimate sacrifice by loving himself, and he’d managed to save his relationship with his dad, too.
A grin spread across my face.
“I had no idea,” I told him. “But I’ve met his dad, and he was a nice guy. Guess you feel like a jerk now for saying Roman doesn’t deserve me.”
Daddy looked up at me with fury in his eyes.
“Forget the Vons. You do what it takes to get that boy back under your thumb. Do you know what having them can do for us? For you? You’d be the most powerful lawyer in the state!”
Fury burned so hot inside me, but I managed a laugh.
A cold, hateful laugh.
So now he approved. So now it was ok for me to love him. So now Daddy was ok with me dating someone with piercings and tattoos?
Well. Fuck. Him.
“No,” I said, a delirious grin on my face. “I’m not going to get back together with him so you can have access to his family money through me. I’m not going to give that to you, Daddy. You’ve disregarded everything I ever wanted for what you wanted. All this time I thought that you truly wanted what was best for me, that you really loved me so much that you did this, even though you knew it hurt me… But that has nothing to do with it, does it? You just wanted what was best for you, your career, your image... You made me give up the man I loved. Maybe the only man I ever will...”
He stared back at me with his mouth popped open in shock.
“And you know what?” I said absently as I headed toward the door. “I’m not going to be a lawyer. I’m going to be a baker and open my own shop.”
His mouth was flapping now, making wet, blubbery sounds as I closed the door behind me.
My rage burned out immediately as I made my way to the front door, letting myself out into the cool night air.
Getting into my car, I sat there and just cried.
Roman
It had been four months since I heard from her. Four months since I tasted her lips or said the words ‘I love you’.
Four months since the new addition that burned on my side every time I looked at it, the artistic interpretation of Fae emblazoned forever on my skin
I’d thought momentarily of getting it covered up with something else, but despite everything, I couldn’t lose that little piece of her.
Not that anyone knew about what it meant besides Cambria, anyway. It was my little secret and I found myself pressing my hand there when I was alone, remembering her and feeling lonely.
Dad was sympathetic, but he didn't know I loved her, nor did he know what was special about her besides the obvious looks and charm she carried around with her.
But it wasn't her looks I missed, or her charm. It was her warmth, her honesty and the almost naïve way she lived, almost like a child. Until she dumped me to obey daddy, anyway. But no, I missed her body curled up with mine at night or on the couch, and I missed the conversations we had, and the way she teased and sassed me over every little thing.
It’s what brought color into my life.
Interest.
Excitement.
Standing in my studio, I stared at the canvas I’d started months ago.
I’d mostly finished it, but there was something off that just didn’t look right.
I had the slopes of the eyes right, the subtle smirk on the mouth and the chameleon green blue eyes that stared back at me, but something was missing.
Fussing a little with the shade of the hair, streaking a little more burgundy through it, I stepped back again.
I was glad I’d gotten her likeness down when I still remembered what she looked like, because certain things had become a bit foggy over time. But there she was, in all her glory, my pixie.
My pixie that didn’t want me.
Setting down my palate, I dropped my brush in the cleaning bucket and left the room, unable to stare at her a second longer.
Maybe that’s why she didn’t look right on canvas. Maybe she was never happy with me and I just didn’t notice.
Possible.
I could have been deluding myself every time I looked into her eyes and saw more than just lust and attraction.
She took me on a wild ride, and I’d gotten thrown out of the seat by the end.
Not like that was new.
My mother did that, too. She abandoned me the moment things got too hard, the moment she decided she wanted something more than me. Delilah had tried to explain that she was just sick, that she needed help and that I shouldn’t hate her for it, but it was too late by then. I hated her, and I was starting to feel the same about Fae.
Blowing out a breath, I meandered to the fridge and got a beer, chugging the thing down fast.
It wasn’t strong enough.
Freddie was making me take a day off, so I would make the most of it and get really fucking drunk. Drunk enough to mercifully forget about Fae for the night and just relax.
I reached up and grabbed the whiskey off my liquor shelf and opened the bottle, chugging that down next.
Dropping onto the couch, I settled in for a long night.
Chapter Fifteen
Fae
The bell over the door dinged and I looked up, eager for another customer.
But my heart started pumping the moment I saw that pulled-back hair, his man bun a little longer and fuller now, but eyes still just as deep and clear and blue as ever.
“Hey,”
he said nonchalantly, coming into my new shop with two large, paper-wrapped packages under his arm.
I brushed at the flour all over my apron and stroked back the few hairs that’d frizzed out of my sloppy ponytail.
“Hi,” I breathed back, wondering why he was in my shop, and why he didn’t look mad.
“You did it.” He looked around at the pink and white place, accented with black and gold. Josie had helped me put it together, and Cambria had worked over the books with me from the plan Roman had written down.
“I couldn’t have done it without you.” I sighed, pressing my clasped hands to my heart.
“You did do it without me.” He lifted a brow, still not meeting my eyes. “You did it all without me.”
His words plunged sharp into my chest, the pain seeping into my blood.
“I couldn’t have...” I started but he interrupted me.
“I wanted to congratulate you. Cam said you put the place together, and I was impressed you did it in just a couple months. But here. An opening gift for you. Figured you would need something to fill the space.”
He handed over one of the packages.
I lifted the paper off, sliding the string from around the frame of a picture.
It was one really, really big cupcake, looking just like one of the ones I’d made for him ages ago when we’d taste tested a bunch of things.
Tears gathered in my eyes at the thoughtful gift.
“This is...”
He cut me off again.
“And I-uh… I couldn’t hold onto this any longer. Couldn’t look at it after, well, everything. But I finished it and figured you might want it.”
He put the other package against the counter before turning toward the glass case full of baked goods.
“Think I can get a dozen somethings to bring back to the shop?” he asked me.
“Oh, uh, yeah. What do you want?”
“Give me a dozen cookies and cupcakes.”
I put together two boxes, one with twelve cookies and one lined with my cupcakes before putting them on the counter.
“How much do I owe you?” he asked, pulling out his wallet.
“Oh, nothing.” I waved away his credit card. “We’re friends, right?”
