She had spent the rest of the morning packing and waiting for the buzzer to sound to let her know the car had arrived. It wasn’t how she’d wanted to spend her last day in New York. Before the fight she’d hoped that Nick and she would’ve spent the morning making love and then laughing as they packed. She’d even let herself imagine the both of them testing out the bed in the back of the plane on the trip home.
Pam should know not to let herself dream. Her dreams were always shattered and all she was left with were nightmares. One big nightmare was waiting for her when she got off the plane back in Perth. She still had no idea what she was going to do about her house. But she’d find the money somehow to lift the caveat, and then she’d sell it and be free of the burden of home ownership.
‘Can I get you something to drink or eat?’ The voice of the stewardess penetrated her thoughts. She didn’t want to eat but it was going to be a long flight so she couldn’t starve herself for over twenty-four hours.
‘Yes please, do you have any fruit?’
‘We sure do. I’ll organise a platter for you, and what about a drink?’
‘A soda will be fine, thank you.’
The other woman nodded and turned towards where Nick was sitting opposite her. He had papers spread out on the table in front of him. Pam didn’t think he’d been doing much with them. She hadn’t heard them being shuffled around.
‘Mr Rhodes, do you require anything?’
He gave a grunt and shook his head, pretty much like every other response anyone got from Nick today.
Once the stewardess had moved to the back of the plane, Pam unbuckled her seatbelt and crossed the aisle to where Nick was sitting. She took a seat facing him.
‘What do you want?’
In all the time they’d worked together she’d never put up with his surliness. She’d always answered him back with a snappy reply. From the way Nick reacted to her when she did, she knew he didn’t mind it. He’d opened his soul to her last night, and probably hated the fact. She wasn’t going to let him get away with it.
‘We’re going to be stuck together for over twenty-four hours. Do you think you could snap out of your surly mood?’
Pam bit her lip to stop a gasp from escaping. The man sitting in front of her looked nothing like the man she was used to seeing. He’d been on the plane when she’d arrived, his head averted and looking out the window. Sunglasses had hidden his eyes. She’d been hurt that he hadn’t acknowledged her so she’d done the same.
She wanted to go to where he sat and hold him. His eyes, normally sparkling with confidence and humour, were bloodshot and dull. His jaw was covered in a five o’clock shadow, and the full lips that had teased and tempted her until she screamed in ecstasy were thin straight lines. No hint of passion or the man she’d slept with.
‘Are you all right?’ she whispered.
‘Don’t tell me you care?’
‘Would you be in a better mood if I told you I didn’t care? That I don’t really give a damn what’s wrong with you? Because if that’s what it takes, that’s what I’ll do.’
A clearing of a throat let Pam know the stewardess had returned with the fruit she’d asked for, placing it on the table in front of them. Pam should’ve been embarrassed because she was pretty sure the other woman had heard her outburst, but she was beyond caring.
‘Thanks.’ She gave the other woman a small smile as she picked up the fork and placed a piece of melon into her mouth. When she heard the soft click of the door closing behind the stewardess, she carefully placed the fork down. ‘So is that what you want to hear, Nick? That you mean nothing to me and you can go right ahead and drown your sorrows for the rest of the flight.’
‘If it will make you go away, then yes, that’s what I want to hear.’
Pam sat back, defeat winding its way through her. She was sure that being rude and abrupt would snap Nick out of his depression. It had the opposite affect. She should’ve realised he would dig his heels in. She’d been in the boardroom when he’d been heading negotiations. He never backed down. He kept going after what he wanted until eventually they gave in to his demands.
He was expecting her to do that. To give in and walk away. And right now, she was going to give him the satisfaction of thinking he’d won this battle. He couldn’t be more wrong. She wasn’t going to give up on him. For once, someone was going to be in Nick’s corner. Someone was going to show him he didn’t have to go through life alone.
‘Fine,’ she picked up a plate of fruit and drink. ‘But I’ll be right over there if you change your mind.’
‘I don’t plan on changing my mind.’
Pam shrugged her shoulders and went back to sit where she was before. He may have thought he’d won the first round, but he hadn’t. She would let him stew a little bit longer and then she’d try again.
Nick stole a glance at Pam, curled up in her seat watching a movie. Disappointment at the way she’d walked away from him still ate at his soul. It was irrational for him to feel that way. His goal had been for her to walk away, it was what he really wanted. Or so he’d thought.
He turned back out to the window. Darkness had fallen. The flashing light on the end of the wing shone brightly, mesmerising him with the monotonous blinking.
Tiredness pervaded his bones. Sleep beckoned but he was too afraid to close his eyes. After baring his darkest secret to Pam, he was worried that the moment he shut his eyes it would all be there, behind his eyelids in all its technicolour glory. He didn’t need to close his eyes to have the scene in the kitchen, where he’d once laughed with his mother and father, when they’d been happier, come blazing to the forefront.
A soft, warm hand cupped his cheek. ‘Nick, you’re not alone anymore. I’m here. I care even though you think you don’t want me to. But I do. Let me in.’
He turned his face into the hand and kissed the fleshy part of Pam’s palm. He wanted to let her in. He really did. Would it be so hard to do that? Would it be so wrong to let Pam in and bring light into days he’d only just realised were dark?
No, it wouldn’t be wrong. It would be so very right.
Decision made, he flicked opened his seatbelt and stood, all the while keeping Pam’s hand close to his skin.
‘I’m sorry. I know I keep saying it. Please don’t give up on me.’ He whispered as he pulled her into his embrace. Holding her tight against his body, not wanting to let her go.
When she wrapped her arms around him, all the tension that had been filling him whooshed out. A calmness he’d never felt before replaced the acid-eating loss in his soul. And it was all because of this woman in his arms. The woman who was coming to mean the world to him.
‘Oh, honey, you have nothing to be sorry about. I’m glad you recognise you deserve someone who cares about you. And I do. I do care and I won’t give up on you.’
He couldn’t respond to her words. His ability to speak was lost. Never had anyone put him first. His father had always put his business first and then his mistress. His mother’s one and only priority had been her husband. Their son had fallen a distant last place in their priorities.
As if knowing words were impossible, Pam pulled his head towards hers. Millimetres from their lips meeting, she stopped and spoke. ‘Make me a member of the mile-high club.’
He would’ve laughed out loud at her request, but she’d closed the small gap between their lips and kissed him hungrily. Desire and want and caring evident in every second of the kiss. Desperation to feel again had Nick scooping her up into his arms and marching down the aisle, heading for the room at the back of the plane. He shouldered open the door, as Pam pulled her lips from his and nipped at his jaw.
‘I never thought stubble could be so sexy.’ She rasped her hand over his rough skin, the touch sending a million feelings of sexual need flying to his already hard erection. He didn’t think he was going to last very long. Somehow he didn’t think Pam would mind.
He slid her down his body until they were standing so
close nothing could separate them. ‘Everything about you is mind-blowingly sexy, and I’m about to worship you.’
With a gentle push, Pam fell onto the bed and he followed, losing himself in the one woman who’d touched his soul.
Chapter 16
As the plane descended into Perth, delight at seeing the familiar skyline vied for place alongside the sexual malaise Nick had created within her. She was now a fully-fledged member of the mile-high club. They’d spent most of the flight in bed, exploring each other’s bodies. Only moving from the bed to a seat when they’d had to stop and refuel. Once they were back at cruising altitude and the pilot had assured them it was safe to do so, they’d made their way back to the bedroom.
‘It’s so pretty. I didn’t realise how much I missed home until right now.’ She squeezed Nick’s hand, glad that he was sitting beside her and not on the other side of the plane.
‘I know. It’s always nice to come home after being away.’
‘You almost sound surprised saying that. Do you have an idea of where you’d like to settle down, Nick? Where you’d like to make your permanent home base? Like Luciano and Jasmine have decided Perth will be theirs.’
Pam wanted to look at him but she was also afraid of what she might see in the depths of his eyes. The look of terror at the thought of settling down in one place. She knew he liked to travel the world and make deals for the corporation. He’d as good as said that when he offered her the job. What if he didn’t want to have a permanent home base? Where did that leave her?
Stop it! She commanded herself. Stop thinking ahead. You need to take one day at a time with Nick. One day at a time.
‘To be honest, I haven’t thought about it.’
She nodded and squeezed his hand a little tighter as the trees seemed to grow larger and larger with every millisecond as the plane descended towards the runway. Only once the reassuring bump and the high whine of the brakes filled the cabin did she relax her hold on Nick’s hand.
Raising her hand, his lips brushed across the top of her hand. ‘We’re home.’
‘We sure are. I can’t wait to get ho — ’ She stopped when the realisation struck. She didn’t have a home to go to. Because her house was still in a place of limbo, her realtor had found someone who was looking for a month-long lease while they were working on a job. The money had been too good for Pam to turn down, considering her current situation, so she’d jumped at the offer.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing. Nothing’s wrong.’ She shook her head. Her lack of a place to go home to wasn’t Nick’s problem. It was hers. She’d have to find a cheap motel or something. Although it kind of defeated the purpose of having someone paying her to live in her home if she was forking out for a hotel.
‘Sweetheart, I thought we were past shutting each other out?’ Nick admonished gently.
Had they? They hadn’t really discussed much, except he’d apologised for being a cad and she’d accepted it. They hadn’t discussed anything about what he’d said to her about his parents. About what had happened to him afterwards. Whether he’d gone to family or friends of if he’d gone into the foster care system. So many things still left unsaid between them.
He didn’t know how her mother had died nor the financial struggles she was experiencing. She didn’t want to share that with him just yet. There was still so much they had to learn about each other.
However, surely she could share this one thing. Let him in on one of her burdens.
‘You’re right. I’m sorry, I’m just so used to doing everything on my own.’
The plane finally stopped moving and Pam reached to undo her seatbelt one-handed; she didn’t want to let go of Nick’s hand. Lose the contact they shared and the connection they’d made while the plane had flown thousands of miles.
‘Not so fast.’ Nick placed his free hand over hers. ‘You’re not leaving until you tell me what the problem is.’
Looking at him, the steely glint of determination in his eyes, it was a battle she was going to lose if she tried to fight him on it.
‘I forgot I have no home to go to. My house is being leased at present.’ She shrugged. ‘I kind of thought we were going to be overseas a little longer than we were. So I didn’t think to make alternative arrangements.’
‘Is that all?’ Nick laughed and, using the hand that was covering hers, released her seatbelt. ‘I can fix that, come stay with me.’
Her heart leapt at the thought of being able to spend more time with Nick, but it also scared her. Their relationship so far had been a game of one step forward, five steps back. Who knew what was going to greet them when they walked out of the plane. Disaster could’ve happened with a business deal while they’d been in the air and Nick would go all cold and distant on her again.
On the other hand, spending time with him, living with him, sleeping with him could only enhance their relationship. Without a shadow of a doubt Pam knew she loved Nick. Wanted to spend her life with him. Wanted to be the one to make him smile when things got tense. Wanted to ease the stress of work out of him when he came home. She wanted to carry his child and make him smile all the time.
The thoughts of a future with Nick pushed the cautionary voice to the back of her mind. The voice telling her to find her own place and not become too dependent on Nick because he could hurt her.
‘Fine, I’ll come with you. But Nick,’ she reached out and cupped his face. ‘We need to talk about what happened in New York. What you told me and what I told you. If this thing between us is going to develop into something more serious, then we need to talk.’
Pam held her breath, waiting to see what his reaction would be. She’d all but admitted out loud that she assumed they were in a relationship. How would he take it? What was he going to say?
He inclined his head briefly. ‘Okay.’
Satisfied that she’d had a small victory, she leaned over and placed a kiss on his lips. ‘Let’s get out of here.’
Pam woke up, disoriented for a moment, her heart beating a rapid tattoo. Something had woken her but she didn’t know what. The bed she lay in didn’t feel familiar. The pillows were soft, and warmth cocooned her body. She relaxed against the heat as it was so welcoming, and an arm snaked out, over her waist, pulling her against a hard chest.
‘Nick.’ The word sighed out of her and she closed her eyes as her heart slowed to a normal pace, the anxiety that she’d woken with disappearing with each lazy stroke of Nick’s hand across her belly.
‘You okay?’
‘Yes.’ Her heart melted at the concern in his voice. Opening her eyes, she rolled over so she was facing him. His eyes burning with desire, the early morning light filtering into the room. Pam didn’t want the sun to rise, even though it signified a new day. A new day meant going to work and all she wanted was to remain locked in Nick’s arms, forever.
After getting off the plane they’d headed straight to his apartment, high on the hill overlooking the city. The view she was sure would be magnificent, but the moment they’d got into his home, Nick had dragged her to the shower, undressing her on the way. They hadn’t moved from the bed after that.
Now, with the morning light, their little escape from the world was over and they’d be heading into the office. She could now contact the real estate agent and find out what the next move would be. If there was a way she could sell her house, even with a caveat over it. She needed to sell her house or find a way to get some money to lift the caveat and then she could sell.
Sometimes it sucked to be a grown-up. She wanted nothing more than to hand over all her problems to someone else to fix. As tempting as it was to unload everything to Nick and ask for some financial help, she wouldn’t do it. She didn’t want him to think she was seeing him purely because of his bank balance. He’d told her time and time again women had thrown themselves at his feet, all for the financial security marrying a man like Nick would give them. She wasn’t going to be one of them. She would sort out her fin
ancial issues by herself.
‘Why are you thinking so hard?’
‘It’s what I do. What I’ve always done.’
Nick rose up on his elbow and looked down at Pam. She was sexily rumpled and the desire to kiss her and make her troubles go away was strong. Like him, there were secrets in her past she didn’t want to share. She’d given a little background about her father walking out but nothing else. He suspected there was something deeper happening with her right at this moment. Something to do with her house but he couldn’t be sure, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know either. Knowing would give a permanence to what they were sharing and he wasn’t ready for that. Not yet anyway.
He would act on his initial impulse to kiss her. There would be plenty of time to talk later — much later.
‘Well, let me see if I can make you think of something else.’
He closed the distance between them and took possession of her lips. Her body opened up beneath him. Welcoming his hands as they trailed over her smooth curves. He couldn’t believe how openly she reacted to his touch. With every touch a sigh escaped her. Her body arching into his hands, encouraging him to take what he wanted, and she would give him what he wanted.
He fumbled with the protection and donned it with Pam’s help, her hands following his movements as he rolled the condom down. It took everything he had not to thrust into her hand. Her touch tentative but enticing. He slipped his hands under her hips, lifting her to meet his thrust. He honestly believed he could never get enough of her. His feelings and emotions were like none he’d ever experienced with anyone before. His body came alive with every thrust into her.
He couldn’t hold back, and when her body contracted around him he let go of his control and let his orgasm roll over him. He collapsed on top of her, spent and peaceful in a way he’d never felt.
Bound By His Desire Page 16
