Restless On A Road Trip
A Lesbian Romance
Nicolette Dane
Contents
Copyright
About the Author
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1. One
2. Two
3. Three
There’s More!
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Full Bodied In The Vineyard
Hotel Hollywood
Freestyle Flirting
Chef Cutegirl
Sweetheart Starlet
Salacious Stand Up
Dormitory Dearest
An Excerpt From: Full Bodied In The Vineyard
An Excerpt From: Hotel Hollywood
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Copyright © 2016 Nicolette Dane
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. All rights reserved.
About the Author
Nicolette Dane landed in Chicago after studying writing in New York City. Flitting in and out of various jobs without finding her place, Nico decided to choose herself and commit to writing full-time. Her stories are contemporary scenarios of blossoming lesbian romance and voyeuristic tales meant to give you a peep show into the lives of sensual and complicated women. If you're a fan of uplifting and steamy lesbian passion, you've found your new favorite author.
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One
What a year. I think it was about a year ago this month, July, that I had told my husband I wanted a divorce. I say that with a bit of ease but it was a very difficult decision to come to and even more difficult to actually speak out loud. Paul was flabbergasted. To him it must have come from nowhere. But to me it was something that had been brewing for a long time. Probably before I had even met Paul.
There’s a time in your life where it seems everybody you know is getting married. It happens quickly over the course of a couple of years and if you’re not careful you might get swept up in that madness. I think that’s what happened to me. I mean, I take responsibility for it all but I sort of fell in line when I really shouldn’t have. It was Paul who got the marriage bug, as we had just gone through wedding season — he had been in his buddy’s wedding — and I think he was just ready to shuck the uncertainty of what our future would hold.
He proposed to me and for some unknown reason I said yes.
But I didn’t feel it in my heart. I guess I just felt a weird obligation. We had been dating for 4 years, living together for 2 of those years, and Paul was kind of an old school type of guy who was interested in building a big family. I never thought about having kids. I saw some of my girlfriends go through it, the toll it took on their bodies, the stress and the difficulty, and I just felt, “you know, that’s not for me.”
And look, between us, the sex was never good. I don’t blame Paul for that, I blame myself. It was always odd for me, it never quite felt right. And I could say that same thing for all the guys I’d been with, which was a low number of 3, including Paul. It just didn’t seem to give me the kind of fun and enjoyment I had been told it should. It was really confusing. I mean, really. Friends would talk about sex, gush about how much they loved it with their guys. “Oh, I love that moment when he pushes into me.” It just made me queasy. It made me panic.
I felt broken. I felt like a failure. And after I was married, I felt like a fraud. I could really only stand a year of it before it started giving me anxiety, more intense anxiety than I’d ever felt, and I knew then that I had to get out. Paul was trying to convince me to have a baby and meanwhile I just felt supremely trapped. I couldn’t explain it to myself. Every time I tried to analyze it, it just worried me and stressed me out and made me feel like an idiot.
But the one thing I was sure of, the one thing I knew to be true, was that this marriage was not for me.
Partner to that time in your life where all your friends are getting married is that time when they begin getting divorces. What’s the statistic? Around 50% of marriages end in divorce? I think that number is so high because of people like me who get married not because they really want to, but because they feel they’re supposed to. That’s definitely a recipe for unrest and subsequently divorce. I take the blame, though. I accept it. This was totally on me.
Paul was obviously upset when I told him I wanted to split. He wanted to reconcile, to figure it out, but I knew deep down, in my soul, some sort of intrinsic motivation submersed within me, that this was not right. And I told him that. I told him I had made a mistake, that it was me, that I was sorry and I knew I had ruined things. He was as understanding as someone put through that would be. Since we’d only been married a year and we didn’t have any joint property or any money, we decided for a clean break. A couple of friends hinted at me trying to get alimony, as Paul had the better job, but that made me feel even grosser than I already felt. I just wanted out.
It was all so hard. I never want to go through that again. But at the same time, once the divorce was finalized — so, just a few weeks ago — I felt this crazy weight lifted off me. No longer did I feel claustrophobic. I felt free and unencumbered. I felt like I could breathe again, like I could be me. And even though I was now 35 and single and not sure what was going to happen next in my life, I was certain that I was beginning to walk down the right path to discover who I was and who I really wanted to be.
When I told her that the divorce had been finalized, my very good friend Maggie invited me out to a hip restaurant in her neighborhood to celebrate. Maggie lived on the northside of Chicago, in Andersonville, while I had been living in Logan Square and crashing with another friend while I got my life figured out. Ever since I began dating Paul, Maggie and I didn’t really see each other as often as we had in the past. That seems to happen when you shack up and start orchestrating a life with someone else. Your friends seem to fade away.
But Maggie always brought a smile to my face. She was firecracker. A pretty little blonde chick with fun energy. I say little because Maggie was 5’1” and barely cracked 100 pounds. She was hip and cool, a professor at Columbia College teaching fashion design and drawing. We had met in college and roomed together our sophomore year. Maggie was one of my oldest friends and I loved her dearly. Every time I thought of her, it brought a smile to my face.
Sitting across from me in the booth, a light fashioned into a mason jar hanging down between us to provide a bit of illumination in the darkened restaurant, Maggie pushed her black browline glasses up her nose and took a sip of her wine glass. She grinned over at me with a happiness bubbling within her. Even though she knew I was sad, she also knew that her energy could help coax some happiness back into me.
“So that’s how it went down,” I admitted, fingering my own wine glass between my two hands, resting on the table. “It’s done.”
“Dana,” said Maggie, like she was leveling with me. “I think this was the right decision.”
“I know,” I admitted. “I feel so much better. But I also feel so freaking guilty.”
“Look,” she said. “I was at your wedding. I knew then that something wasn’t right. But, c’mon, who stands up at a wedding and pro
tests it?” Maggie chuckled to herself. “I’m not that person.”
“Well, maybe you could have said something before the wedding.”
“That’s crazy,” said Maggie. “How does anybody really know what’s going on inside anyone else’s head? You just gotta let people be themselves.” She took another long sip from her glass and her beautiful blonde ringlets bounced effortlessly. I always admired her hair. She was a natural blonde, through I think her stylist gave her a bit of help with some lowlights, and she had such a pretty face. I admit, I thought about how attractive Maggie was a lot.
“It’s all over now,” I sighed. “I know I seem sad, but I really am happy about it. I’m happy that I’m out of that thing. It just didn’t feel right for me. But I am sad because I kind of feel like I ruined Paul’s life.”
“You didn’t,” said Maggie with empathy. “I’m sure it’s hard but he’ll move on.”
“Yeah,” I sighed.
“So what are you going to do now?” she asked. Maggie reached out and picked a kalamata olive from the small plate between us.
“I really have no idea,” I said.
“Work okay?”
“Work’s okay,” I said. “It’s summer, so we’re a little slow but it’s fine.”
“I’m free for the summer,” said Maggie with a grin. “I love teaching at a college. I mean, sure, I could teach summer classes for more money but I much prefer to have the time off to do whatever I want.”
“And what are you doing with this free time?” I asked, letting a smile wash over me. I was tired of talking about myself. I wanted to talk about Maggie.
“Didn’t I tell you?” she said with heightened enthusiasm. “I’m doing a road trip out to Boulder to see my friend Piper.”
“I love that name,” I said. “Piper. Wasn’t she more than a friend at one point?”
“Yeah,” said Maggie, lightly blushing and trying to stifle a laugh. “She was my girlfriend first, that didn’t work out, so now we’re just friends. It’s much better this way.”
“So you’re driving out to Colorado alone to see Piper?” I surmised. “That sounds fun. How long?”
“About three weeks,” she said. “I may continue on out west because I haven’t really seen that part of the country. Maybe Salt Lake City,” Maggie mused. “Have you ever been there?”
“No,” I said.
“I hear there’s a lot of good hiking out there,” she said. “There’s this hot spring I read about that I’d really love to visit.”
“I can’t believe you’re doing this all alone,” I said. “Is Piper tagging along?”
“Sadly, no,” said Maggie. “She’s only taking a few days off work. So I’ll only get to spend a little time with her.”
“That sounds like a lot of fun,” I said. “That’s going to be an excellent trip.”
After a pause, Maggie’s eyes lit up, brow raised, a smile growing on her face. I looked over at her and knew exactly what she was thinking.
“No,” I said, holding up a finger before she could speak. “There’s no way I could do that right now.”
“You have to,” said Maggie. “Dana, this is the perfect time for you to do something like this.”
“I don’t even know if I can get the time of work,” I lamented. “I don’t have much money.”
“You said it’s slow right now,” countered Maggie. “Do you have the PTO?”
“I do,” I said slowly. “Maybe not 3 weeks worth.”
“Didn’t you tell me a few years back that your boss went through a messy divorce?” asked Maggie cagily.
“I did,” I said. I could follow Maggie’s every thought. We’d known each other so long and been so close that she was easy for me to read.
“Well,” she said. “Maybe you could, you know, test the waters with her and maybe negotiate yourself a little time off to deal with your own divorce.”
“You are just incorrigible,” I said. This really gave Maggie a tickle. Her smile was infectious. Her full pink lips peeling back and exposing her teeth.
“I don’t even think we’re having a discussion about this anymore,” said Maggie. “This is serendipity. The stars are aligned perfectly for you, my dear, and this is going to be the summer of Dana. You need to have some fun.”
“It really does sound like fun,” I admitted cautiously.
“I love it!” beamed Maggie, swiftly reaching across the table and grabbing my hand. She squeezed lovingly. “Dana, we’re doing this. I’m leaving in 10 days and you’re coming with me.”
“I don’t know…” I hummed. Deep down, I really wanted to do this. I would love to spend some extended time with Maggie. We hadn’t been as close in the recent past than we were throughout our history and it would be a great opportunity to reconnect. And as I considered this possibility, I suddenly felt something really strange come over me. It was a fire within me, some kind of weird desire to be with Maggie. Like, I wanted to spend every waking hour with her. It was a feeling I’d definitely felt before, it was memorable, but it was also something suppressed and hidden.
“It’s decided,” said Maggie, waving me off. “We’re doing this,” she repeated, even firmer this time.
“Okay,” I said, coming around, letting my smile show. “All right, Maggie. We’re doing this.”
“Hell yeah!” said Maggie, maybe a little too loud for the quiet restaurant we were in. She looked around suddenly and laughed at herself. “You’re not going to regret this. Road trips are the best.”
“Yeah,” I said, really beginning to feel happy about it. It was a palpable happiness and welcomed. Maggie was right. This was something I needed. The stars had aligned and I was going to just let it happen. I smiled across the table at her adoringly and Maggie smiled back. That fair visage of hers, her pretty little features, they soothed me.
Before I knew it, Maggie and I were packing up her SUV with our things. It was early, 6AM, and I had that amazing feeling of adventure that you always get on the morning of a road trip. You feel absolutely free. You feel like you have no responsibilities. You feel like you’re open to anything and everything. It’s almost as though you’re not the person you usually were. You were a way more open-minded person, someone who was just ready to accept whatever the world happened to throw at you.
Maggie had the driver’s side door open and she was reaching inside, just her backside and legs sticking out. She was dressed in short black running shorts, her legs slim and bare, all the way down to some small red canvas slip-ons. Once she popped back out of the car, wearing a half-zip long sleeve athletic top, she grinned over at me and held up a small dangly cord.
“This connects my phone to the stereo,” she said. Her blonde hair was tied up in a thick pony, those geek chic glasses over her eyes. “I lost it between the seats the other day.”
I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about her butt, covered by the thin material of her shorts. The image of her reaching deep into the car was etched into my mind. But I got a hold of myself and pushed the thoughts down.
“Is that it?” I said. “Are we ready to go?”
“Get excited!” said Maggie. “We’re hittin’ the road!”
Maggie had a nice, spacious SUV with a black leather interior. The car was a handful of years old, but it still looked new and fancy. It was the perfect road tripping machine. The cargo cab in the back had plenty of room for our bags. The comfort and ease of it all brought a smile to my face. We were really doing this. We were driving out west.
It had been a long time since my last road trip, and I wouldn’t even call that a proper road trip like Maggie and I were embarking on. The last time I’d been in a car for an extended period was when Paul and I drove from Chicago to northern Michigan to spend a week with some friends at a lakehouse. That was about an 8 hour trip. This trip, however, side by side with Maggie, was going to take a couple of days between stops. This was the kind of trip that you do in your own time. If you want to stop, you stop. If you feel like
pressing on, well, that’s just what you do. It was the open road and I was open to the experience.
“Will you reach into my purse and get my sunglasses?” asked Maggie, looking over at me quickly before returning her eyes to the road. “They’re in a hardshell case.”
“On it,” I said. I reached back and dug into her bag, as instructed, pulled out the case and removed her sunglasses from it. Maggie smiled at me as we made the exchange and she slipped the big plastic frames over her eyes.
“That’s better,” she said. “The sun is already pretty bright today.”
“Maggie, I’ve got to admit this to you,” I said. “I’m really happy you convinced me to do this. I’m feeling super excited about it.”
“That’s right, girl,” she grinned. “Don’t you just feel like a total load has been lifted off you?”
“Totally,” I affirmed. As we pulled onto the highway, albeit slow from the morning Chicago traffic, I felt like this trip was now becoming real. No turning back.
“So we’re going to power through today,” said Maggie. “Southern Illinois and Iowa are going to be boring. Farmlands. That’s what I’ve heard, anyway,” she said.
“That’s all right,” I said with a smile. “We can just catch up.”
“Right,” she said. “We should get into Omaha and hook up with our AirBnB host around dinner time.”
“You reserved an AirBnB?” I asked.
“I told you, Dana,” she said. “I got this.”
“You got this.”
“I’m gonna show you a fabulous time on this trip and take your mind off all that crap you’ve had going on,” said Maggie. “Just chill out and have fun.”
“I think I can handle that,” I said. It did feel nice to relinquish control and let Maggie handle the particulars. There had been so much on my mind lately that I could use the free headspace.
Restless On A Road Trip: A Lesbian Romance Page 1
