Brody: Do u have to tell him I'm here?
I wish I didn't. I wish I could do the irresponsible thing and have a fun afternoon with Brody before letting his dad know where he is, but I can't. Levi already doesn't trust me with Brody. I've already made a mistake with him. If I let him stay here for hours without Levi knowing, it will just be proving to him I'm not trustworthy with his son. I don't want to give him any more ammunition. He can't have another reason to build his case on why we can't be together.
Even though I plan on texting Levi I don't say any of this to Brody.
Me: I'll make us a snack and we can play a game.
Brody: Really?
Me: Of course. What do you want to play?
Brody: Jenga
Me: I'm great at Jenga. There is a closet in my hallway with games. Grab Jenga while I make us something to eat. I'll be back in a minute.
I head into my kitchen and grab a soda out of the fridge for Brody. I peek out into the living room to make sure Brody isn't coming and then send out a quick text to Levi, letting him know his son snuck over here to see me.
Me: Brody is here. He stole my apartment key from you and somehow talked Laura into dropping him off here. Just thought you'd want to know. I'll keep him entertained until you get here.
I send the text and then rummage through my cupboards to see what I can find for him to eat. Since I've been moping at home all week and eating all the food in my house, my kitchen is bare. The little food I do find is either expired or a food no kid would ever like. Then I remember I still have the bakery goodies Skye dropped off in the living room.
I grab our drinks and then my phone goes off. I glance at my phone on the counter and I've received a response from Levi.
Levi: I'll be there in an hour to pick him up.
My heart skips a beat as I read the text and instead of being filled with excitement and anticipation, a somber feeling takes over my body. I'm dreading seeing him for the first time. I don't know how I'll be able to handle it but I can't let the thought of him coming over consume my mind.
I have a strategic game of Jenga to win.
Chapter Twenty-nine
Levi
Kendall: Brody is here. He stole my apartment key from you and some how talked Laura into dropping him off here. Just thought you'd want to know. I'll keep him entertained until you get here.
I read her text over and over again. When her name came up on my screen I thought I was imagining things. I've heard nothing from her since I broke things off last week. I have no clue how she's doing. Every evening I come to work I plan on speaking with her. I want to explain myself. I want to beg for her forgiveness. Simply, I want her back.
But every night I come to work she's not here, and I hurt even more. I hurt because I miss her. I hurt because I can't take another day not seeing her. I hurt because I caused her pain and it was a dick move. I'm the reason I'm miserable and since she hasn't been able to come into work since the break-up, she must be miserable, too.
I send her a quick text back letting her know I'll be there in an hour. Then I go into Noah's office and let him know I can't work tonight's shift.
"You're kidding me, man. Not you, too. This is exactly why I don't allow employees to date each other. I know things aren't going well with Kendall right now but you two will work it out."
"I know and that's why I need to leave right now. I have to go over to her apartment. Brody is there. He snuck over there without me knowing and I have to get him home. Then I have to talk to Kendall."
He leans back in his chair and puts his feet up on his desk. He twirls the hair of his beard between his fingers and then asks, "What do you need to talk to her about?"
"That's kind of between me and Kendall."
"I can understand why you think that, but you're wrong. Kendall has missed an entire week of work because of you. My wife is exhausted from covering Kendall's shifts after long hours in class and she's worried about her best friend. So, while I can respect things being between you and Kendall, I'm not going to let you leave here if you're just going to go over to her apartment and break her heart more.
"Kendall looks tough. Hell, she is tough but she opened a side of herself up to you that she's never allowed to be open before. My wife will never forgive me if I allow you to leave work and say something to her that will close off that side of her for good."
He's right, and I'm glad Kendall has friends looking out for her. So many people love her. Noah and Skye are her family, and as her family Noah has a right to know I'm not going to crush what's remaining of her spirit.
"I fucked up."
"No shit."
"I want her back."
He takes his feet off his desk and stands up, crossing his arms across his chest. It's an intimidating move. He's an intimidating guy. I may be bigger and taller, but I also have common sense. You don't mess with a guy like Noah. "If you get her back then what? I can't have her upset and missing work again if you pull this same shit in six months."
"This has been the worst week of my life, and that's including the week I lost my best friend and my professional baseball career. I never want to feel this way again. If I'm lucky enough to get Kendall back, I'm never going to let her go."
He nods his head slowly before answering. I know he can see the desperation in my eyes and hear it in my voice. "Well then, why are you standing around here? Get out of here and go win your woman back."
I duck out of there, not giving Noah a chance to change his mind. We're short staffed tonight and with the club’s popularity he can't afford to be down another member of his security team. I don't give a shit about that, though. Not tonight. Tonight, I have only one goal set in my mind and that's getting another chance with Kendall. If she's willing to take me back, I'll never do anything to screw it up.
Chapter Thirty
Kendall
The kid has won three games of Jenga and four games of Connect Four. The sad thing is I'm not even letting him win. I'm off my game.
He signs, "I love playing games together."
I laugh and sign, "Yes, because you win."
He smiles and I love that he's having fun over here, even if our time together is about to end. I'm glad we're getting this moment. His last memory with me will be a good one instead of the day I couldn't find him at the zoo.
"Want to watch a movie?"
He signs back, "Yes."
I set the TV up on Netflix and hand him the remote. He signs, "Awesome." Then he's changing the settings so the captions appear. He manages to find a documentary on baseball and his eyes are glued to the screen. Meanwhile, I'm bored to tears at the commentator’s monotone voice.
The doorbell rings and I look to Brody, nervous he'll think I betrayed him. Then I realize he doesn’t know the doorbell rang because my home doesn't have the technology his does. I'll have to look into getting some things before the next time he comes over.
Now I'm just being silly because there won't be a next time. This is it.
I watch him for a few more seconds, trying to cherish the last few moments I have with him and then the doorbell rings again and I know I have to get it before Levi starts to worry.
I stand on my side of the door and take a deep breath before opening it. Levi is on the other side, looking better than my memory allowed me to remember. He's in the clothes he wears at the club and I do my best not to focus on his incredible body. Instead I focus on the dark bags under his eyes and the stubbly beard on his usually clean-shaven face.
Okay, maybe he doesn't look as good as I first thought but I'm no ten either. I have no make-up on, my hair is damp and pulled back, and my eyes are so puffy from the continuous crying this past week that no amount of sleep could fix it.
We both stare at each other for several seconds. I don't know what is running through his mind but I know what I'm thinking. I won't be the one to speak first.
His mouth opens as if he's about to say something, but then Laura is next to him and ap
ologizing before he can get out the words. "I am so sorry, Kendall. Brody begged me to let him come see you. He looked so upset and you know I have a hard time saying no to him. Plus, it's one of the only days he doesn't have a test at school so I didn't know when there would be another chance to bring him to see you."
"Stop apologizing. I'm glad you let him come over." Out of the corner of my eye I see Levi's face soften and a small smile appears, but I refuse to let him consume me in this moment so I continue to talk with Laura. "I love Brody and we've had a nice time. I think this was good for the both of us. It gave us time to say goodbye. It gave us closure. Thank you for dropping him off here."
"Oh, I'm so glad–" she starts to respond but Levi interrupts. Gone is the man who was standing here just moments ago and in his place is the angry Levi I saw last week. I don't know if I can handle this Levi again.
"That's enough!" he practically shouts. I don't know if Brody could sense that his dad was here or if he just happened to turn around at that exact moment, but almost instantly he's standing at my side and signing frantically to his father. Levi signs back while speaking his response.
"We can talk about it when I get home. Go with Laura. I need to speak with Kendall."
Brody signs again and this time Levi only signs his response. I can feel the tension in the room escalate each time the other signs and I'm amazed that at eight years old Brody is standing up to his father and defending his decision to see me. At least that's what I think he's doing. I only understand some of what he's signing. His animated expressions help tell some of the story, too. I love that he uses his facial expressions more than the average person. It helps me grasp the importance of his words.
As much as I love that Brody came here to see me, Levi is still his father and he needs to listen to him, respect him, and do what he asks. Even if it's not something he agrees with.
I tap Brody on the shoulder and attempt to sign and speak simultaneously for the first time. "You need to listen to your father. Go home with Laura. I will text you tonight." I know I didn't sign everything right, but it is enough for Brody to understand me.
Brody's little chest moves up and down, and he looks defeated. He nods his head and signs, "I love you."
I choke up. Tears form in the corners of my eyes, but I hold them back. He hugs me and I squeeze him tight, knowing this is most likely the last time I'll see him. This is our final goodbye. Even though I'm not ready to–I'll never be ready to–I let him go and sign back, "I love you."
He waves goodbye and then steps out of my apartment. I watch as he disappears down the hall with Laura and then I make eye contact with Levi. I'm ready to hear what he has to say to me, so that when he walks down that hallway I'll hopefully be strong enough not to watch as he disappears out of my life, too.
Chapter Thirty-one
Levi
She signed with him. Granted, her ASL skills need a lot of work but she signed with him. It was beautiful.
When did she learn to sign? It took everything I had inside of me not to cry the moment her hands started to move and she was communicating with my boy the only way he knows how. She'll never know how much that means to me. She'll never know how much that means to him. When a hearing person learns sign language to communicate it's a form of respect and acknowledgement. She's acknowledging an important aspect of Brody's life. She's saying ASL is just as important of a language as English is. The time and effort she put into learning those few words shows me just how much she loves Brody. I guess it shows just how much she loves me.
"I didn't know he was coming over." She interrupts my train of thought with her beautiful sultry voice. A voice I've missed hearing for nine whole days. She's defensive. I understand that. I made her that way. There's so much I want to say to her and I wish I could get it all out at once.
Instead I simply say, "I know."
"He just let himself into my apartment."
"I figured." She doesn't say anything else so I ask her, "When did you learn ASL?"
Her face flushes and she shrugs her shoulders. "I've been watching videos on YouTube and taking some online courses. Brody and Laura have helped me, too."
"For how long?"
"Months. Ever since you let me into Brody's life."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"It was a surprise. I planned on telling you once I was more comfortable with the language."
I study her. She looks worn out and tired. Her face is bare and her hair is pulled back. This might be the first time I've seen her without her hair styled, yet somehow she's more beautiful every time I see her. She's stunning.
"I had no idea you were learning ASL."
"And I had no idea he was coming over here. I wouldn't do that to you."
"Kendall, the kid is determined. I know that better than anyone."
"Okay, well, you made it pretty clear that you don't trust me with him so I didn't want you to think I was ignoring your wishes."
"That's not...I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I was wrong. I do trust you with him. There is no one I trust more."
She looks at me with disbelief. "Really? Because last week–"
"I miss you," I blurt out, interrupting whatever she was about to say. I can't hold it in anymore. She needs to know.
"You do?" she asks and those two words are laced with hope. I can hear it in her voice.
"The last week has been horrible."
"For me, too."
I step inside her apartment and she doesn't move. Good. I don't want her to. It only takes two more steps and I'm right in front of her. Our bodies are only inches apart yet it seems like miles. My fingers crave to touch her. My mouth begs me to connect my lips with hers. "I'm sorry," I whisper. My voice cracks as I try to express the sorrow and pain I feel in just those two small words.
"You hurt me." Her light eyes look right into mine as she says the words. I love how she's not afraid to say exactly how she feels. How she's not the type of woman to just fall at my knees the moment I apologize. She wants me to know what I did to her–wants me to feel it and I'm glad she does. It's uncomfortable. It would be so much easier to not hash this out right now, but if I want any chance of a future with this amazing woman I have to stand here and fight for her.
So that's what I'm going to do.
"I know, and it's inexcusable. I never wanted to hurt you. I love you too much to want that."
"So why did you?"
"I got scared. In those few minutes when I didn't know where Brody was all of the choices I've made since I let you into my life came flashing back to me. I couldn't help but think if I hadn't met you Brody would be safe right now. Once I saw him. Once I knew he was safe, I thought I had to let you go. I thought it was the only way to save us all from any more pain.
"You have to know it destroyed me. I missed you so damn much. It may have felt like I was punishing you, but that wasn't my intention. I was trying to punish myself and it worked. My life didn't feel worth it without you in it. I knew I'd spend the rest of my life regretting the decision to let you walk out my door."
"I'm sorry, too."
"What do you have to be sorry for?"
"I let Brody walk away. I took my eyes off him."
"That. That right there is what I'm sorry for the most. I'm sorry I made you doubt yourself. You have nothing to apologize for. Every parent takes their eyes off their kids at some point. It's impossible to watch them all the time. I know this and I made you feel like shit anyway. There's no excuse for my actions and you shouldn't forgive the things I've said to you. Even though you shouldn't forgive me I want you to. I want you to forgive me. I want you to love me again."
She places her hands on my chest and my body warms under her touch. It's the first real thing I've felt in days.
"I hoped one day you'd want me back. I never thought it would be today."
"Do you forgive me?"
"I do."
"Do you love me?"
"I never stopped loving you."
"It can't be this easy. You must hate me for what I've put you through."
Her forehead falls to my chest and she breathes me in. "Forgiveness is easy when you love someone. Holding on to anger is what's hard."
"Can we give us another shot? I promise if you give me another chance I won't fuck this up. I can't promise we won't argue and I can't promise we won't disagree, but I promise to talk it out with you. I never want to know what it feels like to not have you in my life. One week was long enough. I want to make us work."
She grips my shirt in her fists and pulls me to her. Standing on her tiptoes she leans in and presses her lips to mine...and I'm home. Her soft lips mold to mine and I kiss her like a dying man–a man that hasn't gotten a glimpse of heaven in nine days. When our lips are swollen and I'm finding it hard to catch my breath, she pulls her lips away from mine and moves her mouth to my ear. "I want to make us work, too."
She pulls away and winks before grabbing my hand and dragging me into her bedroom. We make up in that room. With every kiss, I apologize to her body and with every sigh and moan she forgives me. We say all the things we haven't said and with every minute that passes we heal a little more. By the end of the night she's asleep in my arms, exactly where she was always meant to be.
Epilogue
Three years later
Levi
The buzzing of our alarm breaks through my peaceful slumber, reminding me that it's time to enter the real world for a couple hours. The last thing I want to do is unwrap myself from Kendall's body and get ready, but Noah requested a meeting, so I need to be at the office in an hour.
The last ten days have been perfect. I can't remember the last time I felt so well rested and happy. That's probably because I've never had ten consecutive days off before. There was never a good reason to take time off from work. It wasn't something I could afford to do. Now I have a good reason. I have the perfect partner to share my life with and ten days to celebrate is exactly what we needed.
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