I stuck my hands in my pockets and meandered down the sidewalk, breathing in the cold air of New York as I strolled. There were plenty of cabs out on the strip, so I decided to go for a little walk before retiring for the night. There was something amazing about love and the smell of the city around you. I hadn’t ever been in that situation before, and it was almost intoxicating. I now was starting to see New York City’s obsession with love and dating. It was almost like a drug. I walked along the sidewalk watching other couples, whether they were together forever or just met each other, stumble out of bars and clubs. Some held hands, some made out every three steps, while others argued in the shadows, the troubles at home seeping out into their public lives.
Tiffany was an amazing girl, someone I now could not even think about not having in my life. It was no longer a question of whether we were going to miss her at my parents or not. It was now a question of when the right time would be to bring her out to the family. I needed to talk to her, knowing this was a joint decision. After seeing her face when Jordan walked off, I knew she wasn’t thinking about anyone other than me. I couldn’t be happier about that.
Chapter 14
Tiffany
The birds chirped incessantly outside my window, but I didn’t want to open my eyes, knowing I had drunk way too much the night before and was destined for a hangover. Slowly, I cracked one eye open, quickly shutting it at the pounding it let into my head. I pulled the blankets over my head and laid inside my cocoon, feeling the warmth of my own body heat seeping through me. I laid there for several minutes with my head on the pillow, thinking about Jason and how he had acted at the bar. He was warm, loving, and I could tell he wanted to be able to show just how attracted he was to me. Hell, I’m not a fan of PDA, but last night, all I’d wanted to do was feel his arms around me and kiss him in public. I guess you always want what you can’t have, and with Jordan across the room for most of the night, there had been nothing I could really do. I was still shocked at how much I did not care about Jordan. Nothing he did was affecting me at all, even the fact that he had been hitting on the redheaded slut in the corner and ended up leaving with her. Anyone else in my position would have run out crying, but it seriously did not bother me at all, especially with Jason sitting right there, his hand secretly on my thigh. There were definitely a few times there that I thought about taking him in the bathroom and having him fuck me in a stall.
However, I wasn’t really the bathroom type of gal, and I was trying to keep things under wraps, so I kept my fantasy to myself, knowing if I told him, it would have just been false hopes for him. It was one thing to bang on an empty floor under renovation. It was another thing altogether to screw someone in the bathroom of a dirty New York City bar. I had to draw the line somewhere, and last night, it was with that. At the end of the night, after getting Mona safely in the cab, I couldn’t help but be completely smitten when he grabbed my face and planted one on me. It felt so good to be kissed like that, by him, in the middle of the city. I knew we would still need to hide things for a little while, but allowing ourselves that one moment really made me even more excited for what our future had in store. I wanted to make things official with Jason, but I also wanted to keep things moving slower than they seemed to be going. The biggest problem was that we couldn’t keep our hands off each other, which kind of defeated the purpose of taking things slowly.
I listened carefully, hearing Mona in the kitchen. She had stayed the night at my place since I lived close to the bar. Every time she stayed over, she would wake up in the morning and make breakfast, no matter how hungover she was. She always said it was because she was hungry, but I knew part of it was because she really did care about me and wanted to say thank you. Most of the time, even when I was wasted, I had to look out for Mona. I guess it was a fair trade-off since she was the best giver of advice that I had ever met. I could tell her anything, and she would tell it to me straight. That was how I knew she loved me. She didn’t just agree with everything I had to say because I was her friend. She agreed with some things, but others, she didn’t cut me any slack on.
I pulled myself from the bed and wrapped a knit sweater around my shoulders, feeling the chill in the air. It was about time to start using the heat in the apartment to keep it warm. I shuffled out to the kitchen, feeling like complete hell, and sat down at the breakfast bar. Mona’s hair was a mess, and she turned around, poured me a glass of orange juice, put a cup of coffee in front of me, and slapped two aspirin down on the bar. She cracked a pained smile and nodded her head, telling me she felt just as bad, if not worse than I did. I guess when we’d been at the bar, she’d been drinking faster than I had, my mind constantly being torn from my drink to wherever Jason’s hands were secretly touching me. Come to think of it, I was pretty sure she was drinking two for my every one, and I hadn’t really noticed since I constantly had the straw in my mouth. It was a way to control the butterflies floating around in my chest. I’d had to do something to distract myself, or I might have jumped him right there in the middle of the bar.
I sipped my coffee and closed my eyes, letting the aroma float up through my nose and into my brain. I seriously wondered what I ever did without coffee. Mona put down a plate of eggs and bacon in front of me, and I winced at the thought of eating anything.
“Eat,” she warned. “Promise it will make you feel better.”
I sighed like a child and brought the fork to my mouth. Once they were in my mouth, I instantly realized just how damn hungry I was in the first place. I smiled and shook my head, thinking about how, again, every piece of advice Mona gave me was helpful. I wanted to tell her the rest of the story with Jason since she already knew I had seen him out and about several times. She’d been the one to convince me to call him and ask him to lunch, but I was nervous at what her reaction would be.
“So,” she said sitting down next to me. “What’s up with you and brother number two?”
“Ha,” I chuckled at the thought of that as Jason’s title. “I don’t know. I guess I really like the guy. A lot.”
“I knew it.” She smiled. “But . . .”
“But what?” I rolled my eyes. “There is always a but with you.”
“Well, life isn’t black and white, sweetie,” she said with sass. “I just know this is a very tricky situation, and you have to remember that sometimes blood is thicker than water. I just want you to be careful.”
“I know,” I said with a sigh. “It just feels so good to look at Jordan and feel nothing. I mean it did not bother me one bit to see him walk off with that redhead. It was like I was watching someone I didn't even know.”
“And I am so glad.” She smiled. “That should tell you something about your real feelings toward him. I just want you to be careful. We’ve all heard about the rebound. I know you care about Jason, but when we get out of serious relationships, we can be blind to the things we normally wouldn’t be blind to. I’m not saying Jason is a bad guy. I’m just saying it's very complicated, and you need to take your time going into it. You might find out a lot of people are hurt by this relationship.”
“I understand,” I said, really taking what she said to heart.
“Good,” she said. “Now, eat your eggs and relax. We had one hell of a night last night. It was fun, but I feel like I was hit by a truck.”
“Me, too,” I said, biting into a strip of bacon. “At least you didn’t go home with that creepy guy at the bar last night.”
“Oh, my God.” She laughed. “Mr. Plaid-Shirt-and-Matching-Socks? My drunk goggles were on high alert last night. I am positive I would have come out of his apartment this morning as a brand new lampshade. That dude was crazy weird. I wouldn’t have cared if you lived in New Jersey, I was determined to get to your house and not to his.”
“I do have to say he was persistent.” I laughed.
“Yeah,” she scoffed. “Looking for his next victim to show his comic book figurine collection to.”
“You could have been
the next cosplay girl at the Star Trek convention,” I replied.
“God, could you imagine me in that scenario?” She laughed loudly. “I would totally have been wasted, stumbling across the stage in purple body makeup and fake ears.”
“It would have been amazing.” I giggled.
“Ahh, yes, so much for lost chances,” she said sarcastically.
We talked at length about the evening, the crazy dude at the bar, and the kiss that she apparently didn’t miss, even though she had been completely wasted. We touched a little more on Jason before we both made our way back to the beds in my room and the spare room and collapsed. She fell asleep almost instantly, but I laid there awake thinking about Jason and what Mona had said to me. I knew she was right, but it was so hard to admit since it felt so good to have him wrapped up in my life. At first, I’d thought it was just the familiarity of the family, having him around just like I did when I’d been married to Jordan. As things progressed, I knew that wasn’t true. I knew it was more than that, and life seemed totally different when he and I were with each other. When we were alone, I didn’t even think of him as a Banks. I thought of him as Jason, the incredibly sweet man who I couldn’t keep my hands off of. After the initial attraction had been satiated with hot sex, then had come the rush of emotions I hadn’t expected at all. I hadn’t even imagined I could fall for him in any way, shape, or form.
I turned over and looked at my phone as it began to ring, smiling at Jason’s number popping up on the screen. I cleared my throat and pressed the button, excited to hear from him. I tried to keep Mona’s words present in my mind as I answered.
“Hey, beautiful,” he said, obviously wide awake.
“Hey there,” I said sleepily.
“I won’t keep you long,” he said. “I know you guys are probably hung over, but I wanted to see if you wanted to go to dinner at my parent's house tomorrow evening.”
“Oh,” I said, Mona’s words echoing through my head. “I think that may be too much too soon.”
“Okay,” he said with hesitation. “No problem. I’ll talk to you later.”
“All right,” I replied, getting the impression he might be upset with me turning him down.
We got off the phone, and I laid there, thinking about my choice. I tried texting him a couple of times, feeling bad about possibly hurting his feelings, but he didn’t answer me back. As soon as Mona had gotten up, I raced out to talk to her. She listened carefully as I explained what happened, telling her I thought she was right about everything, and I was trying to take it slowly. She smiled at me and rubbed my back, trying to make me feel better.
“All I have to say, sweetie, like I said before, is you just need to be careful,” she whispered.
She was right. I had gotten so wrapped up in the romance of it all that I couldn’t help but want to jump headfirst into everything. I needed to slow down and take my time, even if it affected us. Still, knowing that I had possibly hurt his feelings left me feeling slightly off. Being careful was proving to be much harder than it seemed.
Chapter 15
Jason
It was Monday, and I was sitting at my desk staring at my computer screen. Work was the last place I wanted to be that day, but I really didn’t have any choice. I needed to be functioning and awake, ready to take on the challenges of the day. Instead, I was sitting there thinking about Friday night, Saturday morning, and Tiffany. Everything had seemed so perfect, and after that kiss, I’d thought for sure she would be ready to come out to the family that we were together. After she told me it was all too much too soon, I had sunk down into my thoughts and hadn’t even texted her back yet. There were several times I picked up my phone and stared at the messages, knowing I didn’t want to leave her hanging, but my pride was hurt, and I couldn’t seem to gather my thoughts well enough to get the words out. I probably wrote out ten different messages over the course of two days and never sent any of them. I was hurt and worried at the same time, something that was more than a bit confusing.
I knew it was probably hurtful to her that I had bailed like that. I had worked so hard to protect her from getting hurt that I felt terrible about blowing her off, but I needed time to think about everything. I guess I had gotten ahead of myself in my thoughts with us and my family. I ended up not even going to dinner, telling everyone that I wasn’t feeling well. When Tiffany said she didn’t want to go with me, I couldn’t help feeling rejected, having tried so hard to make her feel comfortable and loved. It crossed my mind that it could have something to do with Jordan and how he’d picked up a girl at the bar that night. She hadn’t responded in any way and had even told me about her revelation about their relationship, but I couldn’t help thinking maybe her lack of reaction had been my wishful thinking. I never thought I would be in a relationship with a girl where I was worried she could be thinking about my brother. I was starting to understand how tricky something like this could be. It wasn’t just about how other people viewed our relationship. It was also about how we viewed each other in the situation. As much as I didn’t want to find out she was thinking about Jordan, she probably, equally, didn’t want me to worry about it. I hadn’t really given a lot of thought about how all of this could affect us on the inside. Not everything was peaches and roses in this situation, and eventually, we would have to face that head-on.
However, even if she had denied my invitation because of Jordan, I couldn’t really be mad about it. It was really wishful thinking, hoping that I could stepped into the picture and, all of a sudden, she no longer cared that she had just been brutally dumped. I guess it was hard for me to understand how any of that felt. After all, I was coming in with a fresh viewpoint, a fresh heart, and no hard feelings toward anyone. Well, at least not the kind of feelings that would hinder me from being in a relationship with someone. The last thing I wanted to do was push her further than she was ready to go or end up the rebound guy. If she did have leftover feelings for Jordan, which was completely possible because she’d thought she was in love and had been married to the guy, even if it was only for a short time, then we would handle those feelings as we went. I had to be open to the understanding that, as much as her revelation sounded great, it may have been a combination of her wanting to move on and the excitement of our relationship just getting started. I would need to understand that part of our lives and be able to handle it without taking it personally or assuming it was in any way showing of her lack of feelings for me. It was such a tricky situation, and I also didn’t think about how I needed to put Jordan’s feelings into the mix either. After seeing his lonely face at the bar, I had felt my first real tinge of guilt. Yes, it was quickly extinguished when Tiffany walked into the room, but that didn’t take away from the fact it was there for at least a moment. He had to be feeling something, and as much as I wanted to paint him as the evil guy, I knew my brother wasn’t a complete asshole. He put up a façade to make people think he didn’t care at all, but beneath the surface, I knew there was more going on in his head than any of really understood.
I sighed and got up from my desk to grab a cup of coffee. Luckily, the office was quiet since my father had investor meetings all day and almost everyone was on call for him. I was left to man my station and get some work done. Work, however, was the last thing on my mind, and I had paced the hallways at least five times since everyone had gone to the meetings. My brother would be back soon to take a break. He hated those meetings even more than my father and would use any excuse to nab a few minutes away. As I fixed my coffee, I glanced over at Tiffany’s dark office, wondering if she would ever actually come back to work. It was going to get interesting once she did. How the hell would that dynamic actually work? I guess either we would be faking it while at work, or everyone would know and hopefully all the kinks would be worked out. Either way, I hoped she came back soon, for both personal and professional reasons. She really did keep the office on its toes, and without her here, things were lagging behind. I knew my father saw it, especi
ally with the temp having a hard time filling her shoes and taking three times as long to get the files together. Tiffany had spoiled the company with her determination and dedication, and that would be a really hard thing to find a replacement for.
When I got back to my desk, I saw that I had received a new email from HR talking about the upcoming cocktail party the company was putting on. It was on Thursday, scheduled in celebration of the quarter ending, an impressively successful quarter. It was going to be a formal event in one of the large hotels in the city. Everyone from the office, the investors, and several of our biggest clients would be invited. There would be booze, food, dancing, and a lot of friendly conversation. I really wasn’t looking forward to it because I often spent most of the years past events explaining why I hadn’t brought a date. I was getting tired of the jokes made about it being past time for me to get on the marriage train. Obviously, marriage wasn’t a foolproof plan to happiness, and even Jordan, who had gotten married, wouldn’t make it to the cocktail party with a wife on his arm. No doubt that he would at least come with a date, though. He was smart enough to know that taking some girl with him was less of a headache than listening to the clients joke about your lack of matrimonial support.
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