by Mandy Harbin
"Good, good. I know you harbor a lot of bad feelings toward your father, but you should learn from his mistakes."
My teeth snapped shut. Bringing up my father in this context was more than just unnerving. Was he trying to compare me to that asshole? There were few things that set me off, and implying the apple hadn't fallen far from the tree was right up there with insulting my pride. "Don't shoot my girlfriend. Check."
"Killian," he admonished. "I'm not saying you'd do that. In fact I know you wouldn't—"
"Just like my father wouldn't have hurt my mother? Or did you see that coming?" I was being an ass, but I couldn't help it. My father would always be a sensitive subject for me, and mixing it with Liv proved to be explosive.
"Don't take that tone with me, boy. Your father was a very sick man. He did a lot of bad things. He hurt you, his mistress, and her son, and killed your mom. I wish I could say he once had a kind heart, but he was hardheaded on good days. On bad days...well, he was a force to be reckoned with."
I jumped up, rage building from so many angles. I pointed my finger at him. "First, he did more than hurt me. Second, I don't give a damn about the whore he used or Gabe!" I stalked out of the kitchen and to my bedroom. Jesus, I was so mad, I was shaking. How could my morning have gone from wonderful to shit inside of ten minutes? I shoved my hands in my hair and paced by my bed. Emotions were choking me on so many levels. Despair for my mother's untimely demise. Loathing for my father for taking her away from me when he had mixed with the subtle fear that bubbled up when I thought about my past with him. And I felt a combination of both anger and betrayal when I thought of Gabe. I didn't want to think about any of those people right now. I wanted my firecracker. I needed her to center me because right now I felt as if I were hovering on the edge and was willing to take the jump rather than wait for the fall.
God, she wasn't supposed to be free until lunch, but I needed to talk to her. Maybe just hearing her voice would calm me, tide me over until she was available. I grabbed my cell from my nightstand, but froze when I saw I'd missed a text from her earlier. Then I read it. I looked at it a second time, more slowly just to be sure I hadn't misread it. The rage from earlier doubled, and I wanted to chunk my phone across my room and watch it smash against the wall. I squeezed my fist around it to keep from doing just that, but I couldn't stop my mind from screaming. What in the hell was she doing with Gabe? "Fuck!"
"Killian!" Granddad yelled and grabbed my shirt collar. "What has gotten into you?"
"Not now, Granddad." I gently pulled his hand off me so I wouldn't hurt him and fired off a text back to her. "WTF, Liv? I f'n TOLD u to stay away frm him!"
It didn't take long for her to reply back, "Don't be a dick! I'm with Jewel."
My laughter at that was maniacal. Un-fucking-believable! She thought I was being a dick? She did not know Gabe like I did. That weasel was playing an angle, and I was not going to let her get caught up in his lies. "Where r u? I'm coming to get u."
"Screw u!"
What? "U did already," I replied, knowing I'd regret it as soon as I calmed down.
"Killian," Granddad said and my gaze shot to him. "What's going on? You're walking around like a caged animal."
I looked at my phone, but she hadn't replied. "Are u ignoring me now?" I sent back, and then I looked at the frail man in front of me. I took a deep breath. I did not want to lash out at him. This was misplaced anger. I'd seen enough doctors to know when it happened, but I also knew medication only went so far. Calming down would now only come when I was good and ready, which meant when I got Liv away from Gabe. "It's my girlfriend. I'm worried about her."
He frowned. "Is she in trouble?"
"Yes." I went to my recent calls on my phone and hit her name. If she wouldn't text me, she could talk to me. Each time it rang, I felt my blood getting hotter. When her voicemail picked up, I had to keep from growling at her. "Liv. I know I pissed you off. I'm sorry. But you know how I fucking feel about Gabe. I asked you to avoid him, and now you're out having coffee with him? I have my reasons for staying away from him, and you know this. God, woman. Can't you see I'm not acting like a jerk just for the hell of it. Gabe is dangerous. I want you to get away from him now. As soon as you listen to this message, stop what you're doing, leave him, and call me back. I'll come get you. You can kick my ass later for being a dick. I just need you safe." I threw the phone on my bed and then sat, trying not to roar out my frustration. When I felt the bed move beside me, I looked up and into Granddad's eyes.
"Gabriel Lowery?"
I sighed and nodded. "I can't seem to get away from him." I'd considered transferring schools freshmen year when I saw him on campus, but that had felt too much like running. And my grandparents had needed me. I couldn't desert them when they'd put their lives on hold to take me in. No, I hadn't run from the school...just from him. I had avoided him at every possibility. Four years of seeing him and remembering the pain. I had locked it down and avoided that, too, but right now, it was hard to ignore the man who my former best friend had become. He was tangled in my life, and I wanted him out of it so I could go back to ignoring the past and focusing on the future.
"That boy has always been searching for his way. He was jealous of your happiness when you were little. You had the home life he wanted."
"Yeah." I didn't need reminding though. I rubbed my face roughly and stared into the open space of my bedroom. I was fully aware of just what Gabe had wanted—us to be brothers. A childhood fantasy that I had shared. Where mine had been innocent—wishing he was my parents' son, too—his had been wrought with twisted lies.
"Maybe he never grew out of that."
My head whipped around to look at him. "We're not little kids anymore. Hell, I wanted to be a firefighting astronaut stationed on Mercury when I grew up. I grew out of that, too."
He shrugged, though it didn't seem like a casual gesture. "An obsession like that might not be easy to overcome. He was a little boy, influenced by his mother." He half-smiled at me. "You can't tell me that you didn't take every word your mother said as truth. It's the same thing."
I glared at him. Why was he telling me this? Did he want me to feel sorry for Gabe? "It's not the same thing. My mom didn't feed me lies."
"No, but who are we to say what his mom ever told him. Are they lies if she herself believed them?" He sighed. "He must have a reason for inserting himself into your life again, Killian. If he couldn't have what he wanted then, maybe he wants to have it now. Be friends again."
"No way. We grew our separate ways a long time ago, and that's exactly how I want to keep it."
"I—" He frowned and shook his head. "Maybe he wants what you have now," he said slowly, eyes glazing over.
My heart raced. "What do you mean?"
"Your girlfriend."
I shook my head before he even finished responding. "No, he has one. He likes Jewel, Liv's roommate."
He looked away, his body rigid, belying the casual tone of his words. "How long has he been seeing her?"
"I-I don't know. I try not to think about him." That was true, so why was I feeling sick all of a sudden, and why was Granddad acting weird? He looked at the wall, the floor. It felt as if he were purposely avoiding my gaze.
"Maybe this infatuation with your girlfriend's roommate is a ruse to take what you want." His gaze found mine, but he wasn't looking at me. He seemed lost in his thoughts. "I'm not saying that's what has happened, Killian, but Gabriel had issues when he was younger. If he never dealt with them, he might not understand why he's doing what he's doing. Of course, this is a big assumption." He frowned and looked away from me again. Now he seemed to be grappling for words. A cold chill crept down my back at the meaning behind his behavior. "I just like to be cautious. After all, you still have your problems with him, which means you haven't worked out everything either, but I know you've been in a loving environment since your mother's death. How was he raised after that day?" He'd been raised by a bitter woman; that went without
saying.
Gabe was unstable. I knew that, but that my granddad suspected it made the situation more real. I could handle whatever Gabe tossed at me. But now he'd brought Liv into the mix, my greatest weakness. His family had been partly to blame for one woman being taken from me. I would not allow their evil to touch another. I had to find her, make sure she was okay, and teach that son of a bitch a lesson for hitting below the belt. I jumped up. "I've gotta go."
When I turned to grab my phone from the bed, I saw the pale look on his face. "Granddad?"
"We never told you everything about that night." He looked up at me, and the weight of his words almost knocked me to the floor. "Your grandma and I felt it was better if you didn't know all the details. Seeing Eddie kill your mother was hard enough. But I never thought you'd see Gabriel again, be thrown into your past like this." He swallowed, focusing on me again. "There are some things you should know."
He seemed so serious, and I looked at my watch. Liv had like thirty minutes on me. I wanted to eat up those minutes with my truck speeding down the highway. "Can this wait?" I wasn't really asking. I grabbed my wallet and shoved it into my back pocket. Whatever he'd kept from me all these years could wait a few more hours.
"No. What I have to tell you will change how you think about your father."
"My father was a monster," I spat.
"More than you could possibly know, Killian. More than you could possibly know."
18
I opened my eyes, but I couldn't see anything. Why was it so dark? Normally Jewel left a nightlight on in the room so we could find our way to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I rolled over, my back hitting something hard, cold. Memories assaulted me and I bolted up. My head hit something hard and I fell back onto my side. I rubbed it as I looked around, willing my eyes to adjust to the darkness. I needed to find out where I was because I knew I wasn't in my bed. The hard surface I was on and the images racing through my brain told me so.
Gabe had taken me.
Had taken me and Jewel. I gasped in the silence. Where was she? Was she okay?
"Someone's awake," Gabe said from somewhere, his voice coming from everywhere and nowhere. I sat up slower this time and used my hands to feel around and make sure I didn't hit anything again. I eased my feet over the edge and searched for purchase. "I wouldn't do that. Unless you want to fall. You're pretty high up there."
I yanked my foot back, and whatever I was on shook a little. I grasped it, willing it to stop. I couldn't place his voice earlier because he wasn't at my level. He was below me. "Why am I up here? Where's Jewel?"
He tsked. "I don't think you're in the position to be asking questions, Olivia."
The way he said my name made my skin scrawl. "What's wrong with you?" I whispered.
"Oh, I think you know."
I shook my head furiously, though he couldn't see it. I didn't want to think about what this meant.
"C'mon, Olivia. Don't tell me you don't remember," he sneered. Then lights blinded me. I covered my eyelids and rubbed them before trying to focus on the room. Bile rose in my throat.
"No," I breathed. The outside of the house had been enough. The wine cellar was too much to take.
"Yes." He laughed. "I knew seeing the room would jog your memory."
I looked down from the flimsy wine shelving and gawked at him. "Why did you bring me here?" Better yet, why was this house still standing? My parents told me it had burned. It had been the only reason I hadn't driven by and screamed at it when the mood had struck. As far as I had known it had ended up a pile of ashes in the middle of the suburbs.
"A better question you should ask...why did Jewel lure you here?"
I shook my head and squeaked when the platform moved. "What are you talking about?"
He spread his arms and turned in a circle. "Look around. Do you see her anywhere?"
My gaze darted, but my body stayed still. "No. What have you done to her?"
He laughed. "I like Jewel. Why would I hurt her? She hasn't done anything to me. I wouldn't harm her. You, on the other hand, can't say that, can you?"
What the hell? I frowned. My head started pounding as frustration grew. "Jewel?" I yelled. No response. I called out for her again.
"She's not here. My little love bug wouldn't get caught getting her hands dirty. That's what she has me for."
Tears welled in my eyes. "You're not making any sense."
He sighed theatrically. "It's your fault Jewel didn't get to spend her teen years being the governor's—or better yet, president's—daughter. Her father covered up for you when your sister was killed."
"And?" I swiped away a tear before it landed.
"Jesus, and it was an election year. His opponent found out about it and used it against him to win."
"How?"
"Why the fuck does that matter?" he roared, and I flinched. Then he took a deep breath. "How he did it doesn't matter. Instead of living the posh life she should have," he said eerily calm, "she gets normal. Instead of the White House, she gets a brick house. Instead of a top sorority at Princeton, she gets the dorms at LSU."
No. I couldn't wrap my head around what he'd said. This didn't sound like Jewel. Not the Jewel I knew. My shoulders fell. Maybe the Jewel I knew had been fake, fabricated for revenge. "She didn't really like me?" I mumbled. We hadn't been friends at all?
He laughed. "Now you're getting it.
Only I wasn't. I wasn't getting it at all. Jewel had seemed so sincere, so honest. Sure, she'd been flighty at times, but she wasn't a devious person. No way could I believe that. She seemed so shocked when I shared the news of my past and was even offended for me. That was the Jewel I knew. That was the Jewel I had to believe in. "No! You're lying."
The smile faded into a sneer. "Am I, darlin'?"
My body convulsed, and I squeezed my eyes shut as that word dug its talons into me. I could smell the alcohol. Wine. It was wine I smelled. A sweaty guy holding me down, crooning words into my ear I didn't want to acknowledge. "Stop it," I begged. I took a deep breath. I couldn't afford a panic attack now. If I wanted to freak out, I had a more pressing reason than images from my past. "Stop."
He laughed. "I have you to thank for that little tidbit. Imagine my surprise when you flipped out at the bar that night. I knew right away I'd have to file that information away and use it again." He shrugged. "Saved me from having to drug you."
I rubbed my pounding head and wanted to disagree with him. How could he have gotten me up here without medicating me?
"I called you the d-word. You went cuckoo. I knocked you out and carried you in. I didn't say you'd skipped in here and climbed up on your own."
Now that I believed. "And Jewel?"
"What part of she's in on this don't you understand? She didn't like me hitting you, but it wasn't because she had a change of heart." He leaned in and whispered, "She doesn't have the stomach for doing the dirty work herself." He leaned back and shrugged. "So she pounded pavement."
Oh god, my chest ached at the thought of her betrayal. I couldn't fathom the why. It seemed so juvenile. But I had to accept the possibility. "Why are you helping her then?" I couldn't stop the tears from flowing now.
"Killian," he said matter-of-factly.
"B-because of your past?" I asked when he didn't elaborate.
"You don't know shit about our past, you little cunt," he yelled. He grabbed the rails and shook the shelving, rattling me and it. He reached for my hair, but I scooted away from his grasp. "You think you know everything, huh? Do you? Well let me tell you something. Killian deserves to pay for the shit he put my mother through, for destroying her dream. In the last four years he's been banging broads, not giving a fuck. Not until you crashed into his life. Finally, he has someone he actually cares about. Someone he cherishes more than himself. Someone I can rip from him and torture him with just like he did my life. My. Life!"
Tears streamed down my face as he continued to scream at me, his face red, spittle flying from his
mouth.
"Oh, you think your tears will save you?" he spat. "Answer me!"
"No." I sobbed.
"At least you're smart," he said in a normal tone. Then his face fell into an agonized expression. "We were going to do everything together. Go to the same high school. Lose our virginity at the same time. Fight over the same girl." He glared at me. "I guess we get to do that last one."
Gabe was beyond sick. He was obsessed to the point of being delusional. Even in my frantic mind, I could see I was getting a glimpse of the real person and not the facade he'd allowed everyone else to see. "You need help," I whimpered.
"No. What I needed was a father. My father. Killian's father. Our father. He promised my mom he would provide for us, and she hoped every day, prayed every night he'd leave that bitch he was married to. But did he? No. He didn't have a chance to." He roared. "You know what? Fuck this." He stomped over to a chair and picked up something. I trembled as I inched back into the corner. I wasn't very high off the ground. He could reach me by stepping on the bottom shelf, but I had to do my best to stay away from him. God, Killian's words rang in my ear. He'd wanted me to stay away from Gabe, and I hadn't. I'd been silly igniting a fight with the one person I could trust more than anyone.
I leaned up to watch him. I wanted to be ready when he struck. But he stood still, looking down at something. I squinted and saw a cell phone in his hand. He was typing on it.
"What are you doing?"
"Sending lover boy a text. The sooner he gets here, the sooner I get this over with."
"What are you going to do?" Did he think Killian would just come here blindly, not expecting anything from him? I might've been ignorant when it came to trusting people, but Killian wasn't, especially not when it came to Gabe.
He seemed to ponder that and smiled. "Kill you, of course. I'd planned on killing that traitor one day, but this is so much sweeter. Now he'll know what it's like to live with pain."
