The next few days flew past. Media interest surrounding the explosions at the hotel gradually died down, although the incident had an unexpected repercussion when Chris was invited to appear on a daytime television programme to discuss the state of the NHS.
Eileen brought her portable television into work and they managed to snatch glimpses of the programme between dealing with patients. Everyone agreed that Chris had come over extremely well, sounding clear and confident as he had argued his point about the need for extra funding at grassroots level.
The other good news was that Roger Hopkins had been discharged from hospital and little Michael and his grandmother were making excellent progress. In fact, the only time that Beth could recall seeing Adam smile that week was when Diane Thomas and her husband came into the surgery to tell them the good news. Oh, he was as polite and courteous as ever with her as with everyone else, but the easy camaraderie they had shared had disappeared and she missed it dreadfully.
Benedict Cole started work the following Monday and soon settled in. By the middle of the week it felt as though he had been with them for ages. When Chris announced that he was going to take his long-overdue break, starting from that weekend, no one objected. Everything seemed to be working out surprisingly well, although Beth couldn’t help wishing wistfully that her private life would mirror her professional one.
Chris invited them round to his house on the Friday evening to celebrate his forthcoming holiday. He had splashed out on a round-the-world plane ticket and was very excited about it. Beth really didn’t want to go because it would mean spending time with Adam, but she simply couldn’t think of an excuse to avoid it.
Adam’s continued coolness towards her was a sure sign of how much he regretted having slept with her that night, and she found the thought unbearably painful. She tried to keep out of his way as much as possible, although inevitably she saw him at the hospital when they both visited Hannah. However, he didn’t arrive until she was ready to leave on the Friday night and she couldn’t help wondering if he had done it deliberately to avoid having to spend too much time with her.
‘I’m sorry I’m so late, poppet,’ he said, bending to kiss Hannah. The little girl had been moved back to the ward and she was looking a lot better than she had the previous week.
‘I thought you weren’t coming but Aunty Beth said that you would be here,’ Hannah told him at once.
‘I knew that you’d phone if you weren’t able to make it,’ Beth explained when he glanced at her.
‘Thanks. I appreciate that,’ he said softly, his voice sounding very deep.
She felt heat flow through her when he suddenly smiled, and turned away before he could see the effect it had had on her. She had to stop doing that, she told herself. She had to stop wishing for something that wasn’t going to happen! But it was harder than it should have been to stop her mind racing off along a ‘what if’ scenario so that tears welled to her eyes as she bent to kiss Hannah.
‘Your eyes have gone all sparkly, Aunty Beth,’ the child said innocently. ‘Are you sad?’
‘No, of course not, darling.’ She managed a wan smile for the child’s benefit but she knew that Adam was watching her. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow. OK?’
‘Uh-huh,’ Hannah said, picking up the comic Adam had brought for her.
Beth turned to leave, feeling her heart contract on a spasm of pure pain when she inadvertently found herself staring straight at him. There were lines etched on either side of his mouth and a dullness about his eyes that made her want to put her arms around him and hold him, promise him that she would take away his pain if he would let her, but how could she do that? Adam didn’t love her, he never would. It all came down to that one simple fact. The thought was unbearably painful.
‘Are you all right?’ He caught her hand and drew her to a halt when she hurried away from the bed.
‘I’m fine,’ she assured him in a voice that sounded as brittle as glass. She snatched her hand away and he didn’t try to detain her as she almost ran from the ward. She knew that he was watching her but she didn’t look back because she couldn’t bear to see him looking at her with concern. He might care about her but he most certainly didn’t love her!
There was a crowd of people waiting for the lift so she used the stairs instead, wanting to get away before she made a complete fool of herself. She made up her mind that there was no way that she could face going to the party at Chris’s and decided to phone him when she got home and make some excuse.
Her feet flew down the concrete steps and she was almost at the bottom when the doors leading to the coronary care unit opened and a man appeared. Her heart sank when she recognised Ian and realised that he had seen her.
‘Fancy running into you again. It must be fate.’ He smiled thinly at her, making no attempt to get out of her way as she tried to pass him on the tiny landing.
‘I doubt it,’ she replied testily. ‘Excuse me. I’m in a hurry.’
‘Things to do, people to see, places to go,’ he taunted. ‘What a busy life you lead, Beth, now that you’ve taken up with our local hero. I saw that article in the papers, by the way. Very impressive. It appears that your Dr Knight isn’t quite the low-life I took him to be. Mind you, I’m surprised that you’re his cup of tea. I wonder what he sees in a little home-body like you.’
‘Get out of my way, Ian,’ she said shortly, glaring at him, but he only laughed.
‘Oh, dear, does the truth hurt? Come on, Beth, you know you’re only kidding yourself if you think he fancies you.’ His face broke into a malevolent smile. ‘You’re just a convenience, someone to look after his kid when he goes off on his travels again, which he will. Knight isn’t going to hang around in the depths of leafy Cheshire once his duty is done.’
‘H-how do you know about Hannah being his daughter?’ she asked, white-faced with shock.
‘How do you think?’ Ian laughed contemptuously. ‘Oh, dear, was it meant to be a secret and I’ve gone and let the cat out of the bag? Mind you, Knight didn’t seem worried if anyone overheard what he was saying earlier. I think he was more concerned about how he could get you off his back, to be honest. Rather a silly thing to do, wasn’t it, sweetie, falling for a guy who wants nothing to do with you? No wonder he can’t wait to get out of the country again.’
Beth felt a wave of sickness rise up inside her. Had Adam really said that about her? She didn’t want to believe it but surely even Ian wouldn’t lie about a thing like that.
She lifted her head and stared at him. Her heart might be breaking but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that. ‘Maybe it was silly but it wasn’t half as foolish as thinking that I could ever love a man like you. Adam is worth ten of you, Ian. You’re not fit to lick his boots!’
She heard footsteps on the stairs behind her and pushed past him. She hurried out of the hospital and got into her car, aware that she was trembling. She made herself take several deep breaths before starting the engine, terrified that she would have an accident in her less-than-focused state of mind, and somehow made it safely back to the flat.
She walked up the steps to the door then sank down on the bench as her legs suddenly gave way. All she could think about was the fact that she had become an embarrassment to Adam, a burden he wanted rid of. She should have realised it sooner because he had been giving out hints by trying to avoid her.
She closed her eyes, too stricken with grief to cry. She would have to find another job because it would be impossible to remain at the surgery in the circumstances. Maybe she could apply for her old job? At least then she could remain in the area, which was vital if Hannah was to maintain contact with her father…for however long he decided to stay in Winton.
Her mind spun as she struggled to work out a plan that would cause the least distress to everyone concerned. The sun had slipped from the sky and dusk had settled in when she heard a car drawing up below. She peered down into the darkness and felt her heart come to a full stop when sh
e recognised the tall figure walking towards the surgery. Adam! What was he doing here?
She shot to her feet, fumbling her keys from her bag so that she could unlock the door and go inside rather than face him. She couldn’t bear to have to talk to him after what she had learned!
‘Beth.’
He said her name softly yet in a way that made her instantly grow still. Beth felt the blood drain from her head and had to clutch the doorframe as a wave of faintness washed over her. She knew that he was standing right behind her because she could feel his warmth, but she couldn’t turn to look at him, couldn’t bear to see the rejection in his eyes.
Was that why he had come? To make sure that she understood that he had no use for her except as a convenience, as Ian had put it?
‘Look at me, darling. Please. It’s really important that we get this whole stupid mess cleared up.’
There was anguish in his deep voice now but it wasn’t that which made her gasp. It was that one single word, a word she had never thought to hear him use when speaking to her.
Beth turned slowly, feeling the drumming beat of her heart shaking her whole body. His face was lit only by starlight and it looked eerily pale so that the lines on either side of his nose and mouth appeared deeper than ever. He looked as though he had been carved from stone as he stood there, staring at her, so that for a moment her heart quailed until she saw the fire that blazed in his eyes.
‘Adam…’
She wasn’t aware of saying his name so that the sound of it came as a shock. It seemed to hang in the air between them, redolent with so many emotions that she bit her lip. Could he tell from the way she had said his name how she felt? Could he hear the love that was contained in that single word?
She closed her eyes because she couldn’t bear to look at him. It came as an even bigger shock, therefore, when she felt his hands fastening on her shoulders. Her eyes flew open again and she felt her pulse leap when he smiled at her with a wealth of tenderness in his eyes.
‘We need to sort this mess out, don’t we?’ he said, his voice sounding gravely deep in the silence. ‘But maybe this will help make sense of everything.’
He kissed her then and his mouth was warm and sweet and everything she had dreamed about. Her initial murmur of protest didn’t get past her lips because they were suddenly too busy returning the kiss. The sound only emerged when he raised his head and that was because she didn’t want the kiss to end.
‘I have a question to ask you,’ he said softly. ‘However, before I do so, I want to tell you what I just told Patterson.’
She flinched at the mention of the name. ‘I don’t want to hear—’ she began, but he stopped her in the most effective way possible. Frankly, she couldn’t have recited the alphabet after he had finished kissing her, let alone strung two sensible words together!
‘So that’s what it takes to keep you quiet, is it? I must make a note of it.’ His smile was teasing and she shivered when she saw the warmth it held. ‘I said that I was going to tell you what I told him, not what he told you. They are two entirely different things.’
‘Are they?’ she whispered.
‘Yes. I told him that I was crazy about you, that I was head over heels in love with you, in fact. And that, if my suspicions were correct after what I’d overheard you saying to him, the feeling might not be completely one-sided.’
She saw the uncertainty that shimmered in his eyes all of a sudden as he stared down at her stunned face. ‘Is it, Beth? Am I completely out of my mind to think that you might care for me?’
CHAPTER TWELVE
‘I…YOU…Oh, yes!’
‘Yes? You mean that you don’t feel the same about me?’ Adam sounded as though he was in shock and she hastened to reassure him.
‘No! I mean that I do feel the same. I love you, Adam—’
She didn’t get any further as he swept her back into his arms and kissed her with a hungry urgency that left her breathless and trembling. The only consolation was that he seemed just as affected by it as she did.
He sank onto the bench and pulled her down onto his knees with a groan of mingled relief and joy. ‘Thank heavens for that! I had a horrible feeling for a moment that I might have made a complete fool of myself.’
He pretended to glare at her. ‘Next time anyone asks if you’re in love with them, make sure you get your yeses and nos in the right places!’
‘There isn’t going to be a next time,’ she said softly, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. ‘This is a one-off, never-to-be-repeated occasion. I have no intention of falling in love with anyone else, Adam Knight.’
‘Promise?’ The seriousness of his expression belied the lightness of his tone and she smiled at him with her heart in her eyes.
‘Promise.’
He kissed her tenderly, holding her close so that she could feel the shudder of relief that rippled through him. ‘You can’t believe how good it is to hear that after the past couple of weeks. I had got it into my head that you were still in love with your ex-fiancé, you see,’ he explained when she frowned.
‘Why on earth did you think that?’
He smiled when he heard her bewilderment. ‘Because I’m rotten at maths and adding two plus two gave me the wrong answer.’ He brushed a kiss over her temple as he nestled her head onto his shoulder. ‘I just added up what you said the morning after we spent that night together and it all seemed to fit.’
‘What did I say?’ she asked, letting her lips skim along his jaw because it was impossible to be that close to him and not kiss him.
‘About him being the only man you had ever slept with.’ He sighed but she heard the pain in his voice which he couldn’t quite hide. ‘He had to have been very special to you, Beth. You’d not been tempted to sleep with anyone until you met him and—’
‘And nothing.’ She silenced him with a kiss then drew back and framed his face between her hands so that she could look deep into his eyes. ‘I thought I was in love with Ian but I was wrong. I had promised myself that I wouldn’t sleep with anyone unless he was the right man, but I made a mistake. Whatever I felt for Ian wasn’t love. I know that now because I know how I feel about you, and there’s no comparison.’
‘But that day when you were talking to Rose in the office, you said something about you might have been Mrs Ian Patterson by now if circumstances had been different.’
‘And I was going to add something about what a lucky escape I’d had, only I didn’t get the chance.’
He groaned as he hugged her to him. ‘And I’ve been going through agonies, thinking that I had messed up your life and that you must hate me for it!’
‘Hate you?’ she exploded.
‘Uh-huh. I mean, I did seduce you that night after the explosion. My only excuse is that I couldn’t help myself…What? Why are you laughing?’
She wrapped her arms around his neck and grinned at him, her green eyes full of teasing laughter. ‘You seduced me? I thought it was the other way round. I mean, you were just quietly having a shower and—’
‘And, indeed!’
He kissed her again, long and hungrily, smiling with a very masculine triumph when he saw the effect he’d had. ‘Don’t get above yourself, young lady. If there’s any seducing to be done around here, I’ll do it!’
‘Chauvinist! That attitude went out with the Ark,’ she declared, deliberately trailing her fingers down his throat and inside the neck of his shirt. Her hand encountered thick, crisp hair and she hid her smile when she heard him groan under his breath.
‘All right, I give in. We’ll seduce each other. How does that sound?’
‘Fair enough, although we could do with working out a rota,’ she declared with a perfectly straight face as she let her hand drift on over the hard, warm muscles, loving the way they flickered and bunched beneath her touch.
‘Whatever you want,’ he said thickly, nuzzling her neck. ‘Do we really have to dot all the t’s and cross all the i’s right now?’
‘Who said you can’t?’ He swept her into his arms, ignoring her gasp as he shouldered the door open then kicked it shut behind him. He kissed her long and lingeringly then looked into her passion-drugged eyes.
‘You can do anything you want when you’re in love—dot a t…’
‘Or cross an i,’ she finished for him.
‘Exactly,’ he murmured as he carried her into the bedroom and laid her down gently on the bed. ‘I love you, Beth.’
‘Do you? Are you sure, Adam?’ She wasn’t aware of the faint uncertainty that had crept into her voice but he obviously heard it.
‘Yes, I’m sure.’ He sat on the edge of the mattress. ‘But if you have any doubts, I want you to tell me what they are so that we can clear them up.’
‘You are certain that it’s…well, it’s me you love?’ she said softly, knowing that she had to ask him.
‘Of course!’
She sighed when she heard his surprise. ‘I know that I look a lot like Claire,’ she began, but he didn’t let her finish.
There was sudden comprehension in his eyes as he bent and kissed her. ‘And you’re afraid that I was attracted to you because of the resemblance?’
He pulled her up into his arms when she nodded and he looked deep into her eyes. ‘You’re wrong, darling. I was very fond of Claire but I was never in love with her nor she with me. Surely she told you that?’
‘She did,’ Beth muttered, laying her head against his chest because she didn’t want him to see that she still wasn’t completely convinced. It wasn’t that she thought he was lying to her but she had to be one hundred per cent certain that he understood his own feelings.
‘But? Come on, I want you to tell me everything that’s worrying you, Beth.’
He set her away from him so that she was forced to look at him, and she sighed. ‘I just thought that perhaps she’d made a mistake and that you had been in love with her. It would explain why you have never married and why you’d given up your dream of having a family, and—’
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