Lily wanted to run after her to hold her back, but she couldn’t run and if she were able to catch up with her, Dixon would swat her off like a fly, the way she had done all those years ago in the nursery before Dr Finn had to come to her rescue. If only Sid were here to stand by her and support her.
“Charlotte expects me to remove my curse,” Dixon had said before she left, “but she’ll find she’s going to cop a lot more than she bargained for, and leaving the curse where it is will be the least of it, as you now know. No doubt she’ll come running back to you after I’ve finished with her, so that you can kiss her and make it all better. That should test your motherly skills, kissing away murder and making it better.”
Poor Charlotte, Lily grieved, pitted against this heartless adversary, with memories of her mother’s accident and Mandrake’s death making her credulous.
Not for one second did she believe that Charlotte had deliberately pushed Victoria into the river. Dixon was making assumptions. The little one must have slipped and poor Charlotte must have witnessed the drowning, then lost her voice with the fright of it all and then been too afraid of Dixon and Lady Blackshaw to allude to it then or ever. If only the terrified child had come to her. She would have enveloped her in sympathetic understanding rather than bringing the wrath of vengeance down upon her innocent little head.
“I’ll take the train back to Dublin in the morning after I’ve given my report at the police barracks to that Inspector Declan Doyle, who I remember had a soft spot for me,” Dixon had continued. “I’ll call to Lady Blackshaw tomorrow afternoon. I was going to post my letter to her on the way up here but I decided I’d rather shove it in front of Charlotte’s face first – together with the one I’m posting to her husband – to show her I mean business. It gives me goose bumps to think of meeting Her Ladyship and telling her in person.” She smoothed down her dress and adjusted her hat. “I think this is going to be a satisfying week. Pity old Dr Finn isn’t still around to see it. He always had a soft spot for me despite your efforts to turn him against me. Just make sure,” she threatened, wagging her finger, “that you don’t come over sticking your nose in or you’ll make it all the worse for Charlotte.”
As she left, she looked back over her shoulder to fully enjoy the old woman’s powerlessness.
Things couldn’t be worse for Charlotte, Lily grieved, checking the time on the kitchen clock, but if that evil woman thinks I’m going to sit here and leave my darling to her mercy, she’s got another think coming. I’ll wait until she’s out of sight and then I’ll go and find Manus.
Despite being cocky about knowing all the secrets of the Park, Dixon won’t be able to tell Charlotte everything because there was much she wasn’t aware of at the time, Lily thought with satisfaction while she waited.
Every adult on the estate except Nurse Dixon and Lord Waldron had known about the liaison between Lady Blackshaw and Manus. Many had seen the telling signs of attraction between the two, despite Lady Blackshaw’s conviction that she was being discreet. By commanding the servants to use the most desirable part of the demesne, the walled garden, for the purpose of limiting the range of their prying eyes, and by giving the three stable lads every Friday afternoon off so they would take their prying eyes off to a shebeen in the village, she thought her movements had passed unobserved.
Lily would gladly sacrifice the remaining years of her life to save Charlotte from knowing why Victoria had been the favoured one and why Lady Blackshaw had spent so long in Dublin for her last two confinements, a necessary subterfuge to falsify the actual dates of birth of Victoria and Harcourt.
Most explosive secret of all was that Harcourt was conceived, not in London as Lady Blackshaw was at pains to assert, but earlier, in Manus’s office, perhaps sometime in the forty-minute interval during which Victoria disappeared. The sums added up for someone who didn’t believe everything Lady Blackshaw said and who, as head housekeeper, didn’t go to the walled garden on Friday afternoons with all the other servants but, from the cover of the trees in the arboretum, a favoured sanctuary of hers, was often able to observe Lady Blackshaw’s movements. She did ask Les later on that terrible day how the filly with the gashed leg was and he had looked at her blankly and said there was nothing wrong with any of the fillies. Tending to an animal must have been the first excuse Lady Blackshaw could think of when she gave her account to the police, and who would dare question the word of the Lady of the Park?
All these convictions and suspicions she had confided in no one, not even Sid, in the full expectation of taking them with her to her grave.
It was time to go.
She made her way to the stables as quickly as her old bones would allow her and pushed open the double gates to find Manus and to tell him that Nurse Dixon was about to do harm to Charlotte and would he please come quickly.
Manus thought for a moment his old friend had suddenly flipped into senility, talking about two people who hadn’t been near the Park for years. He doubted he would recognise a grown-up Charlotte or a middle-aged Dixon, it was so long since he’d seen them, and he found it difficult to believe first of all that he hadn’t heard of their imminent return – that kind of news would spread like wildfire on the estate – and secondly, that one would threaten the other, rather than falling into each other’s arms with the joy of reunion.
“You have to trust me,” said Lily. “I don’t have time to tell you about the bad blood between them.”
She had never said a bad word about Dixon to him.
Manus told her of course he trusted her and to go on ahead. He would follow as soon as he wrestled into a stall the new wild import that was intent on inflicting injury on the foals.
He hoped there would be no awkwardness between himself and Nurse Dixon over their last embarrassing encounter. He would act as if it had never taken place and he presumed she would do the same.
To this day he could cringe at the thought of it.
83
Charlotte heard footsteps ascending the stairs. The sound from the lowest flight reverberated in the cavernous stairwell. Her eight-year-old heart began to leap around inside her chest, ignoring the directive to be brave.
What had she to be afraid of? she chided herself. Nurse Dixon couldn’t be the ten-foot high Amazonian figure that had infested her nightmares for years, but try as she might to talk sense to herself, Charlotte couldn’t shrink her former nanny’s image to a realistic size.
By the time the footsteps had gained the top floor and the handle of the door turned, Charlotte’s heart threatened to somersault into her neck and choke her.
The figure that appeared in the doorway looked old, diminished and ridiculously overdressed for a country visit.
Charlotte repressed an urge to laugh with relief. To think such an insignificant creature had terrorised her childhood.
Elizabeth Dixon’s smile faltered when she saw the amused, slim, tall, simply dressed woman standing in front of her.
“It’s good to see you again, Charlotte, or should I call you Mrs Carmody?”
Charlotte, noting the hesitancy, answered, “Mrs Carmody would be appropriate.”
“You’ve grown into the striking young woman I knew you would,” Dixon continued as smooth as silk, ignoring the snub and recovering her poise. “I’m so glad you were amenable to this meeting.”
I’ve nothing to fear, Charlotte realised. Her heartbeat slowed. I’m glad I came.
As Dixon approached, Charlotte stepped behind the low table to avoid the possibility of any social physical contact, the thought of which made her feel sick. The change of accent was noted, as was the use of the word “amenable”. Very different from the grunts and barks that had punctuated Dixon’s speech when she reigned over the nursery and Charlotte’s early years.
“It’s strange seeing the old place again,” said Dixon, correctly interpreting Charlotte’s movement and staying out of handshake range to make it look as if it were her decision. “Nothing’s changed except the add
ition of dust and cobwebs. We might as well make ourselves comfortable.”
You’d think the Park belonged to her family, not mine, the way she’s orchestrating this meeting, thought Charlotte.
Dixon used a handkerchief to remove the dust from her old rocking chair and sat on the edge, her back straight, her knees and ankles together and her hands resting on her lap. She took off her gloves, one finger at a time, then reached up to take out the hatpins before removing her hat in a most affected manner.
Quite a performance, thought Charlotte.
“Before I free you from the curse I have two startling pieces of information to give you. Won’t you take a seat?” In her impatience to tell her story, hints of her old hectoring tone broke through, making the question sound like an order.
“I’d prefer to stand,” said Charlotte.
“Suit yourself.” Dixon switched back with an effort to a milder tone. “Though I’m sure you’ll change your mind when you hear what I’ve come to say. But before I get started, I’d like to tell you about my successful life after I had the good fortune to leave the Park. You’ll hardly credit that I was manageress of an ho–”
“I’m sure I won’t credit it at all so you may as well save your breath. Even if you managed to tell the truth for a change I’m not in the slightest bit interested.”
Dixon flushed crimson all over her face and neck and blinked four times before she responded. “If that’s your attitude, I might think twice about removing the curse even though I’ve come twelve thousand miles to oblige you.”
“I hope you don’t expect me to believe you came back to do me a good turn. I don’t believe you would travel one mile, let alone twelve thousand, to give a helping hand to anyone, let alone me, and I couldn’t care less about your curse, but if it would make you feel better, don’t let me stop you from chanting ‘Abracadabra’ and dancing around the room waving a stick.”
Dixon’s face changed to chalk white. “You’ll live to regret saying that.”
“I have a lot of regrets in my life, but I doubt if saying that will ever be one of them.”
“I wouldn’t mock if I were you. You’ll be smiling on the other side of your face by the time I’m finished with you. I know for a fact my curses work.”
“They may do, but not for the reason you think.”
Dixon didn’t understand the insinuation in the remark, but presumed it was an insult. “Why did you come here, then?”
“To tell you how much I hate you. That’s the only reason.” And to keep you at a distance from Mary Anne. “I couldn’t pass up the opportunity.”
“Hate me? What do you have to hate me for? I only ever did what was best for you.”
“Who are you trying to fool? You call the way you treated me the best?”
“Most definitely. Life is hard for the likes of me and even for rich folk like you. Look at your poor mother crippled for life. I was doing you a favour, being hard on you to prepare you for it. And all I got for my troubles was ingratitude.”
“Now I’ve heard everything. So that’s how you justified yourself? You expect me to be grateful for being a victim of your cruelty and laziness.”
“Laziness? On duty twenty-four hours a day and you call that laziness? That’s laughable coming from the likes of you who never had to do a hand’s turn in your life.”
Charlotte clutched her bag containing the doll close to her side and made as if to move off. “I’m sorry that’s how you see things but I for one don’t have the time to stay around listening to your self-pity or your mumbo jumbo.”
“You haven’t heard yet the main reason I came.”
It is definitely money she’s after, Charlotte thought. She has developed expensive tastes by the look of those clothes she is wearing. How could anyone afford them on an ordinary wage?
“I don’t want to hear it, so you can save your breath. I’m going over to Sid’s cottage to talk about old times with Miss East now that I’ve said what I came to say.” She walked around the perimeter of the room to stay as far away from Dixon as was possible and made her way to the door. “I’ll let you see yourself out.”
“Don’t you dare turn your back on me when I’m talking to you!” Dixon screeched, standing up and making a forward movement.
Charlotte stopped at the sound of that well-remembered tone and turned around. “I can’t believe you said that. You seem to have forgotten you have no authority over me any more. And you have forgotten your place. I’m the daughter of the Lord of the Park, and you are an unwelcome and uninvited presence. Seeing as that’s the way you choose to speak to me, I command you to leave the demesne immediately, and forbid you ever to return. I will consider it trespassing and will have you removed by force.”
“You won’t be talking to me in that superior tone after I’ve said what I came to say.”
“I’ve already told you I don’t want to hear anything that comes out of your mouth. And I haven’t said half of what I could say about my hatred of you. All that put-on sweetness in front of my mother and Manus and Teresa Kelly would make anyone’s stomach turn. And the way you treated little Victoria was unforgivable. She was only an infant.” Charlotte was forced to pause, as she couldn’t control the trembling in her voice.
“You told about that, didn’t you, and had me thrown out by that old witch?”
“I never said a word to Miss East.”
“I don’t believe you. You were quick enough to go running to your mother telling tales.”
“That was years earlier and they weren’t tales. They were the truth. But because of that angelic act you put on in front of her she didn’t believe me, and I knew there was no point in telling her anything else, so you won in the end. She never knew you mistreated Victoria. But I knew and I’ve never forgotten and I’ve certainly never forgiven you.”
“It would make a sick cat laugh to hear you telling me how Victoria was treated. At least I didn’t murder her, which is more than can be said for you, you high and mighty hypocrite!”
Charlotte put her hand to her heart as if she’d been stabbed.
“You thought your secret was safe, didn’t you? No one would think a child of eight could be guilty of such a crime unless they saw it with their own eyes, and Teresa Kelly did, and she told me personally, and I was the only one who knew as she didn’t know herself what she saw. The only one who knew apart from you, of course, and Lily Cooper who only found out twenty minutes ago.”
“Miss East?” Charlotte stumbled her way to the low table, feeling behind her like a blind person to guide herself into a sitting position. “You told Miss East?”
“Didn’t I say you would need to sit down before I was finished? Yes, Miss East to you and Lily Cooper to me was the first to be told. You won’t be surprised to hear she didn’t believe me. Oh no. Her angelic little Charlotte wouldn’t do a thing like that. It will be interesting to see if the others will believe me.” Dixon opened her handbag, took out a letter, and waved it in front of Charlotte’s face. “It’s all here. All written down in detail. This one’s for . . . couldn’t remember his name for a minute . . . Dr Lochlann Carmody. Yes, that’s it. Dr Lochlann Carmody. I was hoping to get his address from you.”
Charlotte reached across and snatched the letter from Dixon’s hand.
“Go on, keep it if you want to. I can write a new one without any bother. You already know what’s in it, anyway.”
Charlotte tore open the envelope and read the first few lines that described her as a child murderer who was a threat to the safety of her own offspring.
“And I’ve one here for your mother. I’ll be delivering it by hand.”
Each word on the page activated the blade of the dagger slashing around inside Charlotte’s chest. Imagine Lochlann reading those words and turning to ask her if they were true. She thrust the letter into her bag.
Fireworks were combusting inside her head and creating red sparks behind her eyes.
Imagine Mary Anne growing up and h
earing of her mother’s wicked act.
She turned towards Dixon. “What did you say just then?” Her vision was now pulsing in and out of focus.
“I said I’ve written a letter to your mother as well. I’ll deliver it by hand tomorrow.”
Letter to her mother?
Delivering it by hand tomorrow?
If only it had been money she wanted.
“Then there’s Manus. It was because of you I didn’t marry him and have his children.” Dixon’s face showed a look of hatred. “It was because of you I ended up with nobody to call my own when I was already an orphan without a family. Here am I now with no husband and no children. I’ll really enjoy telling Manus about you. Unless . . .”
“Unless?”
“I’m prepared to make a deal with you. I am prepared to destroy these letters and never tell anyone what happened to Victoria.”
“But you’ve already told Miss East.”
“Yes, pity about that. I couldn’t resist wiping that smug, superior look off her face. But you don’t have to worry about her. She didn’t believe me. And even if she did you could trust her never to utter a bad word against you. Your secret is safe with her. As I was saying, I will destroy these letters and keep my mouth shut from now on if you pay me twenty thousand pounds. No one will give me a job at my age and I find myself a little short. After all my hard-earned success I lost my life savings on a bad investment. You have to admit twenty thousand pounds is little to ask to prevent Mary Anne being taken away from you. Cheap at the price if you ask me.”
Charlotte let out a primeval howl and launched herself at the unprepared Dixon, pushing her out onto the landing. “How dare you speak her name! How dare you mention her name and money in the same breath? Hand over those letters, you vile woman!”
Dixon twisted her body to keep the bag containing the letters out of Charlotte’s reach while trying to shoulder her way back into the nursery.
Charlotte blocked Dixon’s movement and shoved harder, slamming her against the banister. It was the eight-year-old inside the raging thirty-four-year-old Charlotte who grabbed Dixon’s neck with both hands and squeezed hard and bent her over the banister before Dixon had time to register what was happening. Dixon tried to struggle but after Charlotte applied more pressure, cutting off her air supply for too many seconds, she remained still, angled so far over the handrail that her head hung upside down. She couldn’t lash out with her feet for fear of changing the distribution of her weight and toppling backwards. The hand holding her bag was flailing around in the void, while with the other she tried without success to grasp the rail. Charlotte had no hope of retrieving the bag without removing her hands from Dixon’s throat.
Tyringham Park Page 38
