"If we're going to do this." His hand waves over the table. "You can't be around a guy like that."
I'm insulted, I haven't even finished my first glass of wine and he was setting ground rules. "We're just out having dinner."
"You know I want to sleep with you." Sex. Do men in this city do anything other than live, breathe and talk about sex?
"I was hoping we could get through our dinner first," I say it half-teasingly. "Why are you being so serious?"
"My last girlfriend fucked me over pretty good." He downs the rest of his wine. "I'm not going down that road again. I don't want a woman who isn't ready to be exclusive."
Shit. He's been hurt and now I'm going to pay the price for that when all I wanted was to use him to get over my last relationship.
"I don't want anything serious." I exhale. "I'm just looking for some fun."
"Fun?"
"Just fun," I offer. What am I supposed to say to him? I want to make you come inside of me so I can chase away each and every memory I have of Nathan's cock?
"I'm looking for more than fun. I don't share." He doesn't temper his intentions at all. I wouldn’t be surprised if he dropped to his knee and pulled an engagement ring out of his pocket right now.
"I'm sorry I didn't know," I wince when I say the words. How could I have known? He kissed me the other night like a man hungry for my body. I thought he wanted to fuck. I thought we'd jump into bed together, roll around a few times and I'd get over my Nathan hurdle.
"If you cut him off, I'll be waiting." He doesn't even glance in my direction.
"I'm not hungry anymore," I say in a breathless whisper.
He motions for the waiter. "I'll take you home."
***
"He wouldn't fuck you because you wouldn't be his girlfriend?" The words sound just as ludicrous coming out of Rebecca's mouth as they sounded in my mind.
"I guess." I shrug my shoulders. "It was humiliating."
"I'll be his girlfriend." She winks at me. "Hell, I'll marry him and have his babies if he goes down on me. Have you seen his lips? Christ, they make me weep every time I see them."
"Every time you see them?" I cock a brow. "How often do you see them?"
"Only twice." She taps one finger. "That first time at the club when he grinding on you and then two nights ago after he dropped you off."
"You took the time to study his lips?" I almost laugh out loud.
"Don't say you didn't notice them, Jess." She tips her head to the side. "Unless you were still thinking about Fingers."
"He was here." I point to the floor of the apartment. "Right before Drew showed up."
"No way." She doesn't even try and temper the shock in her voice. "What the hell? Why?"
I shrug slightly as I shake my head. "Trying to convince me that he's changed."
"He'll never change." She bolts out of her chair. "We need to change though. We're going clubbing tonight."
"No." I feel bone weary from my shift earlier today. It had taken every ounce of strength I had to avoid looking at Drew for the entire eight hours. He was so attractive and he wanted me, maybe I should just be what he needed so I could get what I needed from him. That wasn't fair though. I knew it logically, but my body had other ideas.
"Yes." She pulls my hand into hers. "Tonight is the night Fingers becomes a distant memory."
Chapter 9
"There was this moment, when you first walked into the club, and I swear I felt like I'd been holding my breath forever waiting for you."
I imagined that. I've had two drinks and my pulse is racing from the vodka in the spritzers. My hair is damp from dancing. My dress is so tight. I don't know why I chose this one. It's black, short, and cut way too low. My breasts are round, plump and practically spilling out of the top of it. I'm doing everything in my power to forget Nathan, yet I can hear his voice in my head, saying the things I longed to hear him say.
"Jessica. I was empty until then."
His voice sounds so soft, so close. Why can't I just forget him? Why can't I make it all stop so I can move on and pretend it never happened?
"I think about your body all the time. It was made to be fucked just by me."
I close my eyes and feel a hand curve around my waist. It's strong, big, and it's pressing on my stomach. I'm being pulled into a man. I can feel his chest. He's muscular, large, and much taller than me. He's aroused. I can feel his rigid cock pressing into me from behind. He's going to help me. He's going to make me forget.
I turn quickly and his lips are on mine. He's greedy. His kiss is soft, and sensual. His tongue is coursing over mine with a heated touch. I feel his hand on my thigh. I don't flinch. I want this. Even in the middle of this crowded club, I want these hands on me, taking me to the edge, showing me how much I'm wanted.
"Christ, I have to taste you." His voice is in my ear. "Now, Jessica."
My eyes fly open. I can't see his face. It's buried in my neck. "No, please," I say it without any meaning. I want this. I want to feel his body. I want to taste his skin, and his arousal. I don't care. I just want.
"This way." He pulls his hand around my waist. We weave through the crowd, the lights flashing, the music pumping, and my heart racing.
Suddenly we're in a corridor with so many doors. He opens one and we slip in. The music is tamed, the lighting is dim.
"Goddamn you." His words bite through me as his hands pull on my dress, inching it up my thighs. "Fuck you're so hot."
I'm against the wall and he's on his knees before I can react. I slam my head back and push my hips towards him. I have to tell him to stop. I need him to…
"Christ, you're incredible." His tongue runs hot over my folds and I feel a moan stretch through my throat. It's just sex, Jessica. Just take it. That's all it is.
"Lick it," I demand. "Lick me."
He dives in and pulls his tongue across my wetness, moaning into my flesh. "Ah, fuck, Jessica, fuck."
I tangle my hands in his hair, pulling on the locks, guiding his mouth over my core. "Make me come, Nathan." I pull his name across my lips, slowly, carefully, knowing that it will spur him on.
He nods just as one finger slides into me. "Take it," he whispers." Use me."
I buck at the words and the sensations. I pull harder on his hair, wanting him to consume me. I haven't come in so long. I've thought about his mouth for days. I can't stop thinking about it. I'll never stop.
"Like that," I purr. "Lick it like that."
He eagerly acquiesces and laps at my clit. He traces his tongue over it and I slam my head back. Nothing feels as good as this. Nothing will ever feel like this.
"You're so good." His voice is barely audible. "I'll never get enough of you. Your body is perfect. I can't wait to slide my cock into you and fuck you until you scream my name."
I come at the promise of his beautiful, wide cock inside of me. My orgasm is fast and violent. My body bucks against the wall and into him. He sucks, licks and pulls at me until I feel another slower climax roll through me.
Chapter 10
"You're a lightweight." He traces his hand across my forehead.
"The doctor says I weigh a little too much for my height." I shrug my shoulders. "I like cake though."
He laughs so hard that his head rolls back. "You're hilarious."
I blush at the compliment. "I'm not a lightweight."
"How many drinks did you have?" He adjusts the blanket around my body.
"Maybe two?" I swallow. "Maybe more?"
"Maybe a lot more." He smiles down at me. "You need to sleep it off."
I nod. I do need to. I'm already feeling a headache barreling down on me. "Can I ask you something?"
He moves the glass of water he got for me closer to the edge of the nightstand so I can reach it. "Sure. What is it?"
"It's about the club." I need to ask. The question has been almost dripping off my tongue ever since we got in the taxi to come back to the apartment. I waited until he got me into my bed befor
e I found the courage to ask.
"What about it?" He cocks his head.
"I think something happened." I felt it. I know I came when he was licking me. I know it was real. Why does it all seem so hazy now?
"Like what?" The grin on his face isn't helping.
"I think I did something." That's vague. God, that's way too vague. I'm so embarrassed. I should just say it.
"Something?" He's not going to make this easier for me. I'm going to have to spell it all out.
"I..I…" My head is pounding. I hope the aspirin he gave me a few minutes ago is going to curb this headache or I won't be able to drag myself out of bed tomorrow.
"Something did happen," he says it so quietly. He must know my head is about to explode.
"With you and me?" I hold my breath waiting for him to answer. I never saw his face. I just felt. It was so much.
"No." He turns the small lamp on my bedside table off. "It wasn't me, Jess."
"Bryce," I call as he stands to walk out the door. "Was he there?"
"He was there."
***
"Jessica Roth," I repeat. "It's not Ross. It's Roth." I pull my tongue between my teeth to accentuate the sound.
"Jessica Ross is here."
Bitch. Why the hell won't she say my name right?
"Jessica," he calls from the door of his office.
I curse under my breath as I walk past the receptionist towards Nathan. Why does he look extra hot today? His hair is falling onto his forehead, he hasn't shaved. Christ, why am I thinking about how great he looks when I should be thinking about how I'm going to ask him if he went down on me at that club?
"You look beautiful." He closes the door behind me. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
Pleasure. Is that a hint? Is he hinting that he rocked my world in the club last night?
"I need to ask you something?" I push past him to sit in one of his office chairs. My legs are trembling, I have to gain some emotional traction or I'm going to skid out of control.
"Anything." He leans against his desk. This isn't working. His crotch is right at my eye level.
"It's just that…" I toy with a loose thread on the seam of my jeans. How am I supposed to bring this up?
"Are you feeling better?" There's a hint of amusement in the question.
"Better?" I parrot back. "What do you mean?"
He kneels down slowly so his face is right at my level. I don't move. I can't. His icy blue eyes are staring directly into me. "You know what I mean."
"I don't." I can't look at him. His lips are so perfect. They're so soft and pliable. I wonder if he uses lip balm. Jessica, shit. Focus.
"Jessica." He leans forward to grab both arms of the chair, trapping me in place.
I look down. "What?"
"I haven't washed my face since then." His breath wafts over my neck. He's so close to me now.
"Since when?" I can't look up. I won't.
His finger glides softly over my jaw as he tilts my head up until our lips almost meet. "Since you came all over my face last night. Twice."
My breath hitches. "That was real," I whisper.
"That was real." He shifts so his lips are hovering over mine. "I ate you right there in the club. You came so hard. You wanted me so badly."
"I don't…" What don't you, Jessica? You don't know? You don't remember? You don't know how to resist him? Bingo. That's it.
"Why were you there?" I look into his eyes. He was there trolling for someone and saw me. He was there looking for a woman to fuck. He was there because he'd given up on me.
His mouth twitches slightly but his gaze never leaves mine. "I followed you there."
My brow pops up. "No." I shake my head. "You were there looking for someone and saw me."
He moves closer still and I'm locked within his arms. I can only lean back into the chair. "I was coming to your apartment and saw you getting in a taxi with your friends. I followed you to that club, I watched you grinding all over other men. I saw you trying to drink away the memory of my touch and then I took you in that room to make you come because I've been aching to taste you for days."
I swallow hard. I can't rid myself of the lump at the back of my throat. "Nathan, I can't do this."
"You can't be away from me." His lips barely touch mine. "You were begging me to fuck that sweet, tight little body right there in that room. You were clawing at my pants. You couldn’t get to my dick fast enough."
I blush at the words. I can't remember. I don't know. Did I do that? "I don't remember," I confess breathlessly. I can't think, let alone breathe, when he's this close to me.
"As badly as I wanted to fuck you right there, against that wall. As much as I wanted to hear you scream my name when my cock stretched you to your limits, I couldn't do it." His tongue glides slowly over his bottom lip.
"Why?" I have to literally hold tight to the arms of the chair to restrain myself from locking my hands around his neck and kissing him.
He exhales and his sweet breath rushes across my cheek. "When I fuck you, Jessica, every time I slide my cock into you, you're going to remember it."
My sex clenches at the words. I have to close my eyes to let the feelings course through me. I swear I could come just from listening to him talk about fucking me.
"Do you want me to fuck you now?" His lips skirt softly over mine and my eyes dart open. He's so close.
Yes, yes please. "We can't," my goddamn mouth says.
"We can't?" His finger runs a path across my collarbone before dipping into my cleavage. "Be more specific. Why can't we?"
I pull my hands up to rub my face. Maybe I'm back in my bed and this is some kind of hangover, erotic dream. Although if that were the case, he'd be telling me that he wants his cock in my mouth by now.
"I would give anything to slide my cock between those perfect pink lips." Wait. What?
"Nathan." It's less of a statement than a request.
"You're scared," he whispers into my lips. "You're scared I'm going to hurt you."
I nod. I am scared of that. I'm scared I'll let him back in and he'll fuck me over and not in a good way.
"Do you remember what I said to you at the club last night?" He runs the pad of his thumb across my lips.
"About waiting forever for me?" My voice cracks. I've replayed those words in my mind since I heard them.
"They're true. I've waited forever for you."
"You say things like that, but…" my voice stops. But what?
"I can't fuck anyone else." The words are abrasive and bold. "That isn't going to happen, Jessica."
"You don't mean it." I push back against him. I need to leave before he convinces me there's more to him than a man after a piece of ass.
"I mean every word."
Chapter 11
"So you're saying Fingers is a one woman man now?" Rebecca stares at me across the table in the crowded diner she chose to meet at for lunch.
"So he says," I try not to sound discouraged. When I left his office an hour ago I didn't stop to turn back around to look at him.
She takes a bite of the sandwich she ordered. "This is delicious. Not as good as what you make, but second best."
I smile at the awkward compliment. "There's just so much about him I don't understand." Understatement alert. That didn’t even begin to cover how confused I was about him. I had so many questions but the minute I started asking them, I'd be reinvested in the relationship and with his track record and the line of women he's been through, the effort just isn't worth it.
"So he went down on you at the club?" The words are muffled as she chews through another bite of the sandwich.
"What?" I almost drop the spoon of soup I'm holding near my mouth. "How did you know?"
"I saw him pulling you into one of the private rooms," she says it so nonchalantly as if it's an everyday occurrence in her world.
I shake my head to chase away the thought of Nathan on his knees, his face buried between my thighs. "Private room
s?"
"Did Fingers pop your private room cherry?" The fact that several people turn to look solidifies my first thought that she's talking way too loud.
"You practically screamed that." I point out. "I've never been in a private room before." I've never heard of a private room before. I feel like I lived in a cave before I landed in Manhattan.
"All club members have access."
The words hit me with the full force of a baseball bat. "Members?"
"You get special perks if you're a member of certain clubs." She stares down at the rest of her sandwich. I can tell she's having an internal dialogue about whether or not she should devour it.
"He had to be a club member to get in that room?" The gravity of that statement is sinking in slowly, coursing over my brain and seeping into my heart.
"You need a key card." She picks up her oversize purse and starts rifling through it. "See." Her face lights up as she pulls three separate cards from her wallet. "I'm a member of all three of these."
"Nathan had to be a member to get into that room last night?" Why am I asking her that? I know the answer.
"Absolutely." She picks up the sandwich. "That club just opened. I'm not even a member of it yet."
***
"Why are you such an asshole?" I ask it without any emotion. At least I don't think there's any emotion in it.
"Is this a trick question?" He swings the door of his apartment open wider so I can walk past him.
I survey the room. The last time I was in here, I felt safe, adored and special. Now I just feel like Jessica R again. "It's not a trick. You're an asshole."
He rubs his temple with his index finger. "Jessica. Do you want a drink?"
The question feels completely misplaced. "I have a hangover."
"Right." He taps the tip of my nose before he pours himself a glass of bourbon. "So you think I'm an asshole?"
"You took me into a private room last night." I'm just going to launch into this without a parachute. Bombs away, Jessica.
He takes a heavy swallow of the liquid. "Don't tell me you didn't enjoy it." The smirk that accompanies the statement pulls at the edges of my anger.
Pulse - Part Three (The Pulse Series) Page 3
