Brazil (Portuguese)
Do those fish have teeth?
Aqueles peixes têm dentes?
a-KEH-les PEH-shehs teng DEHN-ch.
Kenya and other parts of Africa (Swahili)
Excuse me, there seems to be a large lion behind me.
Kubwa simba nyuma mimi.
CUB-wuh SIHM-buh NYOO-muh ME-ME.
Norway (Norwegian)
I’m sure that ice is safe to walk on.
Jeg er sikker på at den isen er trygg å gå på.
Yay ehr SEEK-er poh at dehn EE-sen ehr treeg oh goh poh.
Indonesia (Indonesian)
Look out! There’s an orangutan behind that tree—maybe he wants your banana!
Awas! Ada orangutan* di belakang pohon itu—mungkin dia mau pisang kamu!
Ah-WAHS! Ah-dah ore-AHNG-oo-tahn dee beh-LAH-kahng poe-hone EE-too—MOONG-kin DEE-ah mao PEE-song KAH-moo!
*The Indonesian word orangutan means “person of the forest” (orang = person; hutan = forest).
About the Experts
These experts reviewed all the tips in this handbook and offered their extremely good advice. Consider them the coaches of Team Extreme!
“Mountain Mel” Deweese has more than 30 years of worldwide experience teaching survival skills. His work has spanned the globe, from the Arctic to the tropics, and he has dealt with animals of all sorts. He has shared wilderness survival skill knowledge with more than 100,000 students around the world and continues to do so through his Web site, www.youwillsurvive.com.
John Lindner is the director of the “Wilderness Survival School” for The Colorado Mountain Club, and he runs the “Snow Survival School” for Safety-One International, Inc. A former instructor for Denver Public Schools and the Community College of Denver, John has taught mountaineering and survival training for almost 30 years.
Charles Maciejewski has a degree in Adventure Education and has worked at Outward Bound, the Bronx Expeditionary Learning High School, and the Kurt Hahn Expeditionary Learning School. He has planned numerous urban and wilderness expeditions with students and trained teachers on doing work in nature. He loves the natural world, cycling, and snowboarding.
About the Authors
David Borgenicht is a writer, editor, publisher, and the coauthor of all the books in the Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook series. He has been known to float on quicksand, over-pack while on safari, and employ “the standard squat”. He lives in Philadelphia.
Justin Heimberg defines the word extreme. He is extremely cautious and wary. He is an extreme sleeper and an extreme television watcher. On the rare occasion when Justin is not being extreme, he writes books and films. He lives in an extreme suburb in Maryland.
About the Illustrator
Chuck Gonzales is a New York City–based illustrator who was raised in South Dakota. He’s no stranger to worst cases, having illustrated The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Junior Edition. Growing up in the Dakotas, he is very familiar with surviving on the tundra.
A WORD OF WARNING: It’s always important to keep safety in mind. If you’re careless, even the tamest activities can result in injury. As such, all readers are urged to act with caution, ask for adult advice, obey all laws, and respect the rights of others when handling any Worst-Case Scenario.
Copyright © 2008 by Quirk Productions, Inc.
A QUIRK PACKAGING BOOK.
All rights reserved.
Worst-Case Scenario and The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook are trademarks of Quirk Productions, Inc.
Illustrations by Chuck Gonzales.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Borgenicht, David.
The worst-case scenario survival handbook : extreme junior edition / by David Borgenicht and Justin Heimberg ; Illustrated by Chuck Gonzales.
p. cm.
eISBN 978-0-8118-7293-5
Bundle eISBN: 978-1-4521-0269-6
1. Social skills in children—Juvenile literature. 2. Socialization—Juvenile literature. 3.
Children—Humor—Juvenile literature. I. Heimberg, Justin. II. Gonzales, Chuck. III. Title.
HQ783.B663 2008
613.6’9—dc22
2008014580
Chronicle Books LLC
680 Second Street, San Francisco, California 94107
www.chroniclekids.com
The publisher, packager, and authors disclaim any liability from any injury that may result from the use, proper or improper, of the information contained in this book.
The
Worst-Case Scenario
Survival Handbook:
Weird
Junior Edition
By David Borgenicht and Justin Heimberg
Illustrated by Chuck Gonzales
Contents
Welcome to Weird
CHAPTER 1
Aliens and Other Outer-Space Oddities
How to Handle a UFO Sighting
How to Survive an Alien Abduction
How to Survive Landing on Mars
How to Deal with a Long Space Voyage
How to Avoid a Black Hole
CHAPTER 2
Monsters, Mummies, and More
How to Survive a Vampire Attack
How to Win a Zombie Showdown
How to Make the Most of a Bigfoot Sighting
How to Manage a Mummy Encounter
How to Survive a Werewolf Run-In
CHAPTER 3
Hauntings and Other Mysteries
How to Navigate a Haunted House
How to Evict a Ghost
How to Enhance Your ESP Powers
How to Control Your Dreams
How to Investigate a Crop Circle
CHAPTER 4
Time Travel
How to Pack for Time Travel
How to Survive a Trip to the Past
How to Survive in Prehistoric Times
How to Survive in Ancient Rome
How to Survive in Ancient Egypt
How to Survive in Medieval Times
How to Make the Most of a Trip to the Future
CHAPTER 5
Magic and Myth
How to Run with a Unicorn
How to Tame and Train a Dragon
How to Find and Befriend a Fairy
How to Defeat Medusa
How to Be a Sorcerer’s Apprentice
How to Get What You Want from a Genie
How to Swim with a Mermaid
How to Outwit a Leprechaun
How Not to Get Crushed by a Giant
Appendix
Field Guide to Magical Woodland Creatures
Form for Documenting a UFO Sighting
Form for Documenting a Bizarre-Creature Sighting
About the Experts
About the Authors and Illustrator
Welcome to Weird
Your life may already have some “weird” in it—that neighbor who dresses her dog in a fuzzy pink sweater, that kid at school who picks his nose with his thumb—but there’s a whole other level of weird out there. (Cue eerie music.) Werewolves, dragons, Bigfoot, UFOs, zombies, ghosts: These are the norm in the world of the weird.
Navigating this weird world can be a dangerous proposition. One run-in with a giant could be your last. One encounter with a zombie, and you may become one, too. One sneak peek at Medusa, and you may never sneak
But fear not. This handy guide will prepare you for encounters with all sorts of monsters and mayhem and fantastic phenomena. You’ll know just what to do if you find yourself face-to-fanged-face with a hungry vampire. You’ll learn how to survive if you crash-land on Mars. You’ll discover how to make the most of a time-travel journey, how to get through the night in a haunted house, how to outwit a leprechaun, and much more. By the time you’re done with this book, you’ll know how to pull off a whole host of feats that put the “super” in supernatural.
And although many of these strange scenarios are the stuff of science fiction and fantasy, there are facts in
this book. You’ll find plenty of real science. (Did you know that Mars has a volcano three times the size of Mount Everest?) You’ll also delve into folklore, literature, and history. (Do you know what ancient Romans used instead of toilet paper? You will soon!)
In fact, sometimes, fact is stranger than fiction—like the fact that there is a real organization called the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence, or SETI Institute, currently scanning space for signs of alien life. Even weirder, a real-life unicorn exists in Italy. (Well, something pretty close to one, anyway.)
So grab a candle and tiptoe down the dark corridor of the strange and scary. Expect the unexpected. Imagine the unimaginable. Open your mind to the impossible. Things are about to get weird.
—David Borgenicht
and Justin Heimberg
CHAPTER 1
Aliens and Other Outer-Space Oddities
How to Handle a UFO Sighting
It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s a…wait—no, it isn’t. What is it? You know that it’s flying, and you know that it’s some sort of object. Could it be…? Are you really witnessing an unidentified flying object, otherwise known as a UFO? Here’s how to know.
1 Clock it.
Look at your watch or cell phone and note the exact time of your sighting. This step is super important because you’ll want to see if other people reported seeing the same thing at the same time.
2 Observe and document.
If you have a device that takes pictures or video, start shooting. Otherwise, fetch a pen and paper. Spare no detail—write it all down and make a sketch of what you saw. Ask yourself:
• What was the shape and color of the UFO?
• Was the object moving? Vertically, horizontally, or both? Was it landing or taking off?
• Did anything unusual happen during the sighting (electricity flickering on and off, animals acting strangely, etc.)?
• Any noise? What did it sound like?
• Am I nuts?
BE AWARE • UFOs have turned out to be meteors, new military planes on test flights, weather balloons, and the work of pranksters playing with video cameras.
3 Report.
If you really think you’ve seen a UFO, work with an adult to report your sighting to local police and an agency that specializes in UFO sightings, like the National UFO Reporting Center in Davenport, Washington.
Interview with an Alien Hunter
Seth Shostak is a senior astronomer at SETI Institute (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence), an organization of scientists and educators who are scanning deep space for signs of life.
Q: What type of signals is SETI Institute listening for?
A: We listen for radio signals that are produced by a transmitter. Many things in the sky also make radio noise—the sun, for example. Strange objects like pulsars, quasars, and big black holes also produce natural radio static. But in our SETI experiments, we look for a signal that only a transmitter could make—a signal that’s at only one spot on the radio dial. This signal would tell us there’s someone out there who’s intelligent enough to invent radio.
Q: Is there a specific area of space you’re focusing on?
A: Most of the time, we point our antennas at nearby stars. We hope that at least some of the stars will have planets like Earth with intelligent life. Our antennas are very sensitive. They could pick up a transmitter with the power of a cell phone if it were on Jupiter. An extraterrestrial’s broadcast could be found even if it comes from hundreds of trillions of miles away, which is the distance of the nearest stars.
Q: Have you pictured the extraterrestrials you’re looking for?
A: In movies and on television, most aliens look like us—with two eyes, two arms, and two legs. There’s no reason to think that real extraterrestrials would resemble Earthlings—after all, they’ve developed on an entirely different planet. It’s possible that we might even detect aliens that aren’t living but are some sort of thinking machines.
Q: Why is SETI Institute’s research important?
A: Science is all about curiosity. We just want to know how the universe works. In a universe with ten thousand billion billion visible stars, could it be that this is the only world where intelligent life exists? Wouldn’t you want to know if others are out there?
Q: If you ever have the chance to meet extraterrestrial life, what’s the first thing you’d ask?
A: I would ask, “Do you have music?”
How to Survive an Alien Abduction
You’re taking out the trash, minding your own business, when you’re suddenly blinded by a bright light. Hovering above you is a flying saucer, and the aliens inside have their eyes on you. Before you can say “E.T., go home,” you’re being sucked into their spaceship! Here’s how to handle those uninvited visitors from space when they try to get their tentacles on you.
1 Stay calm.
No need to freak (just yet). If the aliens think you’re a threat, they might zap you with electric lances, phasers, or some alien technology that can toast an Earthling in nanoseconds. Be agreeable and remember that aliens probably don’t have the same customs as you and your friends. If you reach out to shake their hands, the gesture may mean “Hello, I want to destroy you!” in Zorzootzese, so follow their lead when it comes to greetings. (Or just don’t move at all.)
2 Show your chill skills.
It’s possible that the aliens only want to check you out, boast about the size of their catch to their buddies back home, take a picture with you, and then let you go. Your best bet? Wait it out before breaking out your alien-busting moves and trying to make a Great Escape.
What’ s Your Worst Case?
Being captured and put in a zoo for alien entertainment?
or
Being used as a lab rat for the advancement of alien science?
3 Get to know ’em.
It’s not every day that you get to hang out with alien-kind. So, make it your mission to find out all the deets. Use pictures, pantomime, whatever it takes to communicate. Which galaxy are they from? What does their planet look like? What tunes do they have on their alien iPods?
4 Be a secret apprentice.
If it becomes clear that the aliens don’t plan on throwing you back into Earth’s pond, your only chance to get back home is to fly there yourself. But before you go conking two aliens’ big-brained heads together to knock them out, study their piloting techniques and understand how to operate the UFO’s navigation system. Otherwise, you’ll be stranded in space. Forever.
What I Did on My Alien Vacation
People claiming to have been abducted by aliens often tell similar stories. Here’s what you might expect from a flying-saucer escapade:
• Capture. You are removed from your earthly surroundings.
• Examination. Your body is scanned by a strange contraption.
• Conference. The aliens speak to you.
• Tour. You’re given a guided tour of the spacecraft.
• Journey. You go for a joyride around the solar system.
• Return. You are taken back to the place where you were captured, or sometimes to a different place.
How to Survive Landing on Mars
You’re zipping by Mars for an up-close look at the Red Planet when—wham!—a rogue space rock slams into your ship. Your navigation functions are wiped out, but you still manage to touch down on the planet’s surface. Now you just need to stay alive, Martian style.
1 Stay inside.
Because of its thin atmosphere, Mars offers little protection from radiation from space. Mars is also known for sandstorms that can cover the entire planet. Your best bet is to remain in your spaceship to stay protected from the elements. You don’t want to end up as a sand sculpture. But if you must venture out…
2 Suit up.
Always wear your airtight space suit. The Martian atmosphere is 96 percent carbon dioxide, so your space suit will provide the oxygen you need to breathe.
3 Head to the poles.
If you run out of water, travel in your spaceship (assuming you’re able to get your navigation functions up and running) to one of Mars’s poles. Water has been discovered there (in the form of ice), and you won’t have to dig very deep to reach it. You’ll need to bring the Mars-cicles back to your ship to melt, unless you’re in the mood for a Martian snow cone.
FAST FACT • The tallest volcano on Mars, Olympus Mons, is three times as tall as Mount Everest. It’s the tallest mountain in the solar system.
4 Consider the caves.
So you’re out and about, taking in the Mars scenery, when sand starts swirling around. Before you know it, you’re caught in the middle of a massive sandstorm! If your ship isn’t close by, duck into a cave for extra protection. If you happen to be near Olympus Mons, you’ll find seven caves (known as the “Seven Sisters”) nearby. Just remember to stay in that suit!
5 Grow your own oxygen.
Running low on oxygen during your extended stay on Mars? Make oxygen from the Red Planet’s dirt. In 1976, NASA’s Viking lander poured water on Martian soil to see if plants would grow, and oxygen gas sprung up instead. Chemicals in the dirt called peroxides break down and release oxygen when they come into contact with good ol’ H2O. So, bring some Martian dirt into your spacecraft and see if you can refill your supply!
No Crash Zones
In case of spaceship malfunction, avoid landing on these planets…
• Neptune. This is the windiest place in the solar system, so your spacecraft would not fare well here!
• Saturn. Its rings might be cool to look at, but landing on this planet is far from pretty. Don’t expect to land on any surface—there isn’t one.
• Mercury. The planet nearest to the sun, Mercury has daytime temps as high as 840 degrees Fahrenheit (450 degrees Celsius), and lows of –275 degrees Fahrenheit (–170 degrees Celsius).
Junior Edition Bundle Page 10
