While they walked, Ethan listened to the hostess attempt to whisper to Alaina.
“Are you sure Brandon has never visited here before?” the girl murmured. “He looks kind of familiar.”
“Nope, never been here in his life,” Alaina said quickly.
“Well, you need to bring him around more often. He is hot.”
Alaina giggled and Ethan looked away, pretending he hadn’t heard.
When they reached the end of the dock, Ethan found that the gazebo contained a single table set for two. The ceiling was lit with twinkling white lights and greenery, just like the light poles in the town. The lights reflected and danced on the ocean water below. A tall white candle lit the table. Crystal place settings lay placed at each of the two seats.
Ethan unwillingly released Alaina’s hand and reached for her chair. He pulled it out, allowing her to be seated. Then he took the remaining seat, directly across from her.
“Tina told me to go ahead and get your drink and food orders while I’m out here,” Gabby said, pulling a small notepad and pen from her apron pocket. “What can I get for you guys?”
Ethan and Alaina placed their orders and Gabby retreated back down the dock to the main dining room.
It could not have been a more pleasant evening. The sky was completely clear, every single star visible. Ethan couldn’t remember the last time he had seen stars. The wind blew slightly over the calm ocean waves and the fresh smell of salty sea air surrounded them.
Once Gabby was safely indoors, and out of earshot, Alaina gave Ethan an apologetic look. “Okay, so I’m totally embarrassed.”
Ethan gulped down a big bite of the complimentary loaf of bread Gabby had brought out with the menus. “Why?”
“Because I told Ben this was not a date, but thanks to Tina, this is looking remarkably like a date.” Her cheeks flushed a little and she averted her eyes from his. “I’m sorry if you’re uncomfortable. I didn’t plan any of this and I’m sure Vanessa would have a thing or two to say if she saw you out here like this with some other girl.”
Ethan almost spit out the sip of water he'd just taken. “Vanessa? How did you . . . oh you found that on the internet too, huh?”
Alaina gave a guilty grin.
Ethan thought for a brief moment, choosing his words carefully. He hadn’t even considered the fact that Alaina thought he had a girlfriend. “Alaina, if the past couple of days have taught me anything, it’s that Vanessa has a thing or two to say about everything, and I could care less about any of it. We got in a fight before I left and I haven’t heard from her since. All she cares about is the publicity being part of a celebrity couple can bring her. I’ve known it for a while. I just haven’t done anything about it. As far as I’m concerned, there is no ‘me and Vanessa’. There is only Vanessa, doing who knows what, and me sitting here with you about to have an awesome dinner. Date or not, I’m having a blast and I’m just glad that you came.”
Alaina’s eyes gleamed. Was she excited? Ethan couldn’t tell. He wished he knew what she was thinking. Was she as happy to be with him as he was with her? He knew that he was probably jumping the gun—honestly, who in their right mind falls for a person in only a day—but he couldn’t help it. He was mesmerized by Alaina. If his mom called that very second and told him it was okay to go back to his tour, he wasn’t sure what he would say. Fairhope was starting to grow on him. The black hole was swirling right in front of him and he was running toward it at full speed. He didn’t want to leave yet. He wanted to stay right in that moment with Alaina. He wanted more time to get to know her and show her that he was more than just a famous kid with a guitar. He was a person with his own thoughts and feelings, and right now, his feelings were all centered around her. Alaina wasn’t worried about his fame or his money. She looked at him and talked to him like he was a regular person. Like she held expectations for him that other people let fall in hopes to gain his approval. He wanted to meet all of those expectations.
“So what was that between you and Ted earlier?” Alaina asked once their food had arrived. “What did he mean by ‘bring the car back in one piece’?”
Ethan’s stomach churned. He hoped Alaina hadn’t caught on to that particular comment. What should he say? He couldn’t tell her what really happened with his last vehicle. Her parents were killed by a drunk driver. If Alaina knew he wrecked his car because he’d been drinking, there’s no way she would ever look at him the same again. The last thing he wanted to see in those huge brown eyes of hers was disappointment.
No, somehow, Bruce had kept the accident out of the tabloids because Ethan had Googled himself that morning and there was no news except for some speculation as to why he had postponed his tour dates. Rumors would begin to fly soon—of that he was certain—but so far, nothing about the accident. Alaina couldn’t find out. That’s just all there was to it.
“I . . . uh . . .” Ethan began slowly. “I had a wreck recently. Went around a curve too fast, hit some water, and hydroplaned. Totaled out my car. Ted’s been giving me grief about it ever since. That’s one of the reasons I’m here. Mom got worried about me and wanted me to slow down for a while. Take a breather. Plus, I haven’t seen Granny Mae in almost five years so I was overdue for a visit.”
There, that was mostly the truth.
“That’s terrible,” she said softly. “You’re really lucky you weren’t hurt.”
Ethan knew that. In fact, if it hadn’t been for all of the alcohol in his system, he probably would have been injured. The paramedic even told him that if he had tensed his muscles, it could have broken his legs, but since he had been so numb, he just kind of flopped around. The more Ethan thought about that night, the stupider he felt. At the time, he'd felt on top of the world—like he owned it. What was it about alcohol that gave a person a false sense of confidence? Ethan was certain Alaina would have found his performance that night to be utterly pathetic.
“Yeah,” he said finally. He couldn't bring himself to tell her the truth.
“God must have big plans for you.”
Ethan paused. “What?”
“God protected you during your wreck. Think about it. If you totaled your car, it must have been a pretty bad wreck, but here you sit without a scratch. There’s a reason He saved you. He has a purpose for you. You just don’t’ know what it is yet.”
That thought had never once entered Ethan’s mind. Why would God, the guy who wanted everybody to act right all the time, protect a stupid teenage boy who had intoxicated himself half to death? Although he hated to admit it, Ethan knew that wreck was entirely his fault. Why would God save him?
“I don’t know about all that,” Ethan said cautiously, “but I do know that I was very lucky.”
Alaina gazed directly into his eyes, digging down deep into his very soul. What was she searching for in there? He couldn’t hold her gaze. He had to look away.
After a moment, she spoke. “You don’t believe, do you?”
“Believe? Like, in God?” Ethan stuttered. “I honestly haven’t ever put much thought into it.”
“But don’t you ever wonder where we came from? How we got here?” Alaina pressed. Ethan wanted to stop her, to tell her to please not start rambling on about religious nonsense before she ruined their evening, but something in her expression sealed his lips. Something in her tone. A deep passion that Ethan had never noticed in, well, anybody. He was intrigued; all he wanted was to hear more.
“Look around you,” she continued. “Look at the moon and the stars. This massive ocean. He created all of this for us. Can you not feel it? In the wind? In the air around you? His presence is everywhere.”
Alaina closed her eyes for a moment and inhaled deeply. Ethan didn’t know what she was talking about. He’d never been taught about God and the things He had created. Ethan had always just lived without asking questions. He couldn’t feel what Alaina felt, but the way she sat there across from him, her arms wrapped around her chest, a glowing light in the scene aroun
d her, Ethan knew that he wanted to feel what she felt. He had traveled the world and done things most people had only dreamed of doing, but never once, in all his experiences, had Ethan ever felt as alive as Alaina looked at that very moment.
Ethan reached out and, once again, took Alaina’s hand in his. This time without the slightest bit of hesitation. He didn’t know the God Alaina spoke of, but if He was willing to grant him this one wish, it was worth asking. So Ethan opened a little piece of his heart, and for the first time, he spoke to his Creator. He knew he didn’t deserve it but he hoped Alaina’s God would grant him this one request.
Please don’t let her let go.
Chapter 11
Alaina
Dinner with Ethan was going much differently than Alaina originally expected. She was curious as to what was happening between her and Ethan. They had only met the previous night, but she was beginning to feel as though she had known him forever. Was it possible to lose her heart in such a quick period of time? Amazingly, the thought didn’t have the affect normally expected in these situations. It didn’t cause cute little butterflies to swarm in her stomach. It didn’t leave a cheesy grin plastered on her face. It didn’t make her feel like dancing around her room when no one was watching.
It made her feel sick.
Alaina had lost the majority of her working heart to the death of her parents, and she was currently in the process of trying to hang on to what was left. She was afraid she would never have enough love left to share with anyone other than Ben. But there was Ethan with his smooth voice; his beautiful bright blue eyes that burned holes into her when he stared; his old fashioned gentleman tendencies. What was she supposed to do with that? She didn’t want goose bumps to form on her arms every time Ethan flashed that goofy dimpled grin. They just did. She didn’t want to feel the fire that ignited between them every time he took her hand in his. But there was nothing she could do about it.
Alaina couldn’t figure out which emotion was holding dominance at that point. She was terrified that she was going to be hurt. Seriously, Ethan was a worldwide rock star! That alone should’ve been enough to make her run for the door! But to top that off, she was currently going through a crisis that she wasn’t quite sure Ethan would be comfortable with. Alaina wasn’t a normal teenage girl. She couldn’t offer Ethan a stress free relationship. The loss of her parents had left her with baggage and there weren’t many boys that were willing to deal with baggage, especially not the ones who bounced from one state to the next every other day.
Alaina could tell that Ethan was interested in her, but to what extent, she wasn’t certain. How interested could he possibly be? What did she possibly have to offer him that he couldn’t find in any other girl? He was Ethan Carter for crying out loud. He could have any girl he wanted.
And then there was that sobering fact that hung over their heads like a rain cloud waiting for the perfect time to let loose.
He would be leaving soon.
The entire situation made absolutely no sense. It was irrational. It was irresponsible. It was an impossible scenario.
Then why could Alaina not bring herself to walk away?
Tina had given them their privacy throughout the entire dinner, only interrupting long enough to deliver their food and a ticket marked with a zero balance and a little note saying that their meal was “on the house”.
Alaina and Ethan had talked throughout the entire meal. There were no uncomfortable moments. No awkward silences. Conversation flowed smoothly as if they were old friends. They countered each other’s remarks, finished each other’s sentences, and told stories of their pasts; each realizing they had more in common than either could have expected.
Alaina easily forgot the status that the entire rest of the world held Ethan at. As they walked hand in hand along the breezy Alabama coastline, she saw him as nothing more than the vibrant boy who had a passion for music and who could take her mind off of everything but him with only the slightest grin.
The drive home was surreal. Alaina wondered how, after such a perfect evening together, they were to end it by entering the same house and walking the same staircase to their separate rooms.
When Ethan pulled the car slowly into the driveway, he cut the lights and flicked off the engine, but neither of them budged an inch. Alaina wasn’t sure about Ethan, but she was not ready for the night to end. She hadn’t felt that carefree in so long, it almost felt like the first time. All of her cares and worries had been washed away with the slightest touches of Ethan’s hand in hers. His arm wrapped around her shoulder as they had walked along the beach. He hadn’t been pushy. He hadn’t been disrespectful. He’d been cautious and sweet. Alaina didn’t feel like Ethan expected anything out of her. She just felt like he wanted to spend time with her and get to know her, which made for an amazing night.
But all good things must come to an end, and there Ethan and Alaina sat, at the end, neither knowing what to say or do next.
Finally, after a few seconds of irresolute silence, Ethan finally spoke. His words were slow and deliberate as if he wanted them to come out perfectly.
“I had a really good time tonight.”
“Me too,” she replied.
He laughed to himself. “No, you don’t understand. I started singing when I was so young. I don’t think I’ve actually been on a normal date that didn’t involve reporters and paparazzi . . . well . . . ever.”
Alaina glanced down at their intertwined fingers. Ethan ran his thumb slowly over her knuckles. She looked back up, meeting his gaze instantly. “Was this a date?”
Ethan only hesitated for a split second, but he looked a bit nervous, which she thought was kind of cute. When he spoke, his had a slight grin. “Could it be?”
Alaina didn’t even think. “Yeah. I think it could be.”
Ethan’s eyes never veered from hers. He bore deeper and deeper as though he was trying to find something within her that he didn’t quite understand. Usually, she could break his gaze after this long, but not this time. He was holding strong.
He leaned closer, reached out a hand, and pulled a piece of stray hair from in front of her eyes, and ran it down behind her ear. His fingers stopped at her chin where he felt of her skin. His face was so close now.
Alaina’s heart beat like a bass drum inside her chest. He was going to kiss her! How had this happened so quickly? Was she ready for this?
He shifted and drew even closer. She could smell the faint aroma of his cologne. His hot breaths bounced off her cheek as his lips parted. Her eyes closed. So close now. She could imagine the feel of his lips on hers . . .
What was she thinking! She couldn’t do this. She wasn’t even being honest with Ethan. He knew what she had been through . . . but not what she was going through. He didn’t know what he was getting himself into. She wasn’t being fair to him.
The soft feel of his lips grazed across hers . . .
She pulled away and sighed.
“I can’t.”
Ethan didn’t protest. He didn’t push. He pulled away, gave her an understanding shrug, and said, “I’m sorry.”
That stupid lump rose in Alaina’s throat, but she swallowed it back down. She was getting good at that lately. “No, I’m sorry. I’m . . . I’m just not ready.”
“It’s okay, Alaina. I understand.”
“Why don’t you call me Ali?”
Ethan’s eyes widened and he understood perfectly what she meant. He held the back of her hand to his lips and gave it a soft, tender kiss.
“We better get inside.”
“Okay.”
Ethan reluctantly released her hand and exited the vehicle. He walked to her side of the car, opened her door, and reached to help her out. They walked in silence up the little walk lined in perennials, then up the three white painted stairs to the front porch. They reached the doorway.
Alaina paused.
In a split second decision, she turned quickly, rose to her tip toes, and planted the swiftest
of kisses on Ethan’s smooth cheek. She turned the door knob and entered the living room before Ethan had the chance to say a single word.
Alaina bolted for her room ignoring the sleeping tall man on the couch and the light he must have left on in the kitchen. When she didn’t hear the door open behind her, she thought it safe and took a second to check in on Ben.
Her little brother lay comfortably on the top bunk, sleeping peacefully as if all was wonderful in his world. Alaina climbed high enough to kiss his forehead, analyzing that his fever had diminished throughout the night. She readjusted his hat so that it rested properly on his head, and ran from the room before Ethan had the chance to make it up the stairs.
When Alaina was in her room, safely alone behind her closed door, she collapsed onto her bed, attempting to slow the dizzying spin in her mind. She was a mixed up mess of emotions. She ran over and over the events of the night, as if watching a black and white picture show in her mind. Ethan’s broad smile swarmed in her memory. The safe feeling she felt every time he held her hand in his. Then, that moment when their lips had almost touched . . .
There it was, when Alaina had thought it would never be possible for her again.
Little butterflies and a cheesy grin.
Chapter 12
Ethan
Ethan stood frozen on the porch.
Alaina liked him. She was obviously a little freaked out, but she’d kissed him; that had to mean something.
Ethan had never felt for a girl what he felt for Alaina. Things with Vanessa were always so complicated. No matter what they were doing, it was an inevitable fact that it would contain some sort of pointless drama. He’d just assumed all girls were that way.
But Alaina was different.
Her lips still burned on his cheek as he finally opened the door and entered the house. Ted’s snoring gave away his position on the couch, but Ethan noticed a light still on in the kitchen. He made his way across the room to turn it off, but when he reached the switch, he was startled by the voice coming from a stool by the island.
Redemption Song Page 8