by Lexy Timms
She smiled, relaxing slightly. “I’m totally cool with you helping out. Kayla says you’ve got your CPA and I’ve seen your photos. Really, you can have multiple jobs with us if you want. We can’t pay much right now, but… We’ll be making good money soon.”
“Whose the primary provider for your start up?” I wondered aloud.
“Mostly Bethany,” Kayla answered. “We’re both putting in our own money, hers’ more than mine. We have a decent amount. We’ll have a lot to play with.”
“Cool, did you bring your numbers?” I asked.
They both laughed.
“We just wanted to have dinner with you tonight,” Bethany said. “We wanted to talk business, not actually do business. You shouldn’t do that at the dinner table, or booth in this case.
Our waitress returned with our beverages. We handed her our menus and ordered.
“I’ll have the bacon cheeseburger with a baked potato,” I said. “Medium-well, thanks.”
“I’ll have the grilled salmon,” Kayla said. “And, I’ll have the salad with it.”
“I’ll have just the chicken chopped salad,” said Bethany. “Could we have an order of bread for the table?”
Our waitress walked off, leaving us to our drinks. I took a wedge of lime and emptied its contents into my beer.
“So Bethany,” I said, hoping I might be able to ease her nerves somewhat. “Are you the real brains behind the operation? Are you the company’s CEO? CFO?”
“I think if you took the job, you’d be closer to becoming the CFO, honestly!” Bethany said with a laugh. “You have a Master’s degree. I’m not sure where I would fit, but my big thing is marketing. I’m the one who’s going to make sure Kayla’s product sells.”
“Well then, you’re the boss,” I said. “And, you’re paying for my dinner. You’re definitely in charge.”
“What can I say?” Bethany shrugged. “I rule, I guess.”
“We’re not looking for a solid yes or no, but do you think you’d be interested in working with us?” Kayla asked me.
I was interested and eager to help Kayla on a short, uncommitted basis, but I knew working as an accountant on a normal, routine basis was something I was not interested in. I wasn’t sure how to convey that without sounding harsh, so I settled for indifference.
“I do want to help you,” I said honestly. “And, I do want to help your company become a reality. But, actually working as an accountant…” I sipped my beer. “I want to help in any way that I can. Honestly, I wasn’t even looking to get paid. I was going to help for free. But…”
“Do you work with Donnie T. full-time?” Bethany asked.
“I don’t work with anyone full-time, that’s the thing,” I said. “I’ve always been an independent contractor. I think I work best that way and it helps take a lot of the pressure off, you know?”
“I totally get it,” Bethany said. “You can be your own boss.”
“Exactly,” I agreed. “I only have to answer to myself.”
“We can hire you part-time,” Bethany suggested. “You name your schedule. Work whenever you can. It’s the twenty-first century, man. You can still answer to yourself. We’ll be your boss whenever you want to relinquish control.”
I chuckled, pondering the idea. “That would be awesome.”
“We can’t offer health or dental yet, but we’ll pay you whatever the rate is that Donnie T. pays you to take pictures,” said Kayla. “As far as the accounting portion goes, we can’t offer you what you deserve right now, but we will do our absolute best.”
“Plus, unlimited sex breaks,” Bethany added.
“Beth!” Kayla exclaimed with shock in her eyes.
“What?” she said. “I was talking about for him and me.”
She threw a playful wink at me, which I returned. She giggled.
“So,” Kayla said as she stared at me with her intense eyes. “Do you want to think about it while we eat?”
“We’re going to keep pitching to you, just to warn you,” Bethany said.
“What’re you thinking?” Kayla asked me. “I want to know what’s on your mind.”
I didn’t have nearly enough time to process everything they said. I felt like saying yes, but I could tell it was merely to please the intense eyes locked on me. I couldn’t tell if Kayla was using her beauty as a tactic to win me over or if it was she emanated sexual energy simply by existing.
I didn’t have the will to lie to Kayla, even though I knew it would be easy.
“That’s… It’s kind of a lot to throw at me all at once, you know? It’s a big step and I’m finally making good money doing something I enjoy. I want to help you ladies get things moving, because I know that isn’t easy. But, as far as being an employee… I’ll have to get back to you on that. I want to think about my answer.”
Kayla was deflated, but understanding. “Of course. Take your time.”
“But, don’t take too long,” Bethany warned. “I kinda quit my job this morning, so I’m ready to become the next big thing in ladies’ undergarments. You’d become a big thing too, Mr. Justin.”
Our waitress brought over our bread basket. As we tore into it, I couldn’t help but feel somewhat deflated myself. I only grew more disappointed as the night progressed.
I expected our meeting to be just that: a meeting. However, I still wanted something more, even though I wasn’t sure what it was. Throughout the meal, I wondered if she would, at any point, put her hand on my lap. We were seated only inches apart, after all. But, her hands were always active elsewhere. During our time together, I speculated that there would be flirting. Yet, her friend was flirting with me more than she was. In fact, save for an occasional look, Kayla never showed or exhibited any signs of interest in me. I began to fear that she was more literal than I ever imagined she could be when it came to ‘keeping it professional.’
After we finished eating and once I left the tip, I took my leave quickly. I said my goodbyes, thanked them for the meal, and made my exit.
I got to my car, but before I could get in, I heard the sound of rapid footsteps approaching. I turned around to see Kayla walking toward me. She had her purse over her shoulder and a bag of leftovers in her right hand. Even then, I not having my camera with me.
“Hey, listen…” she started.
“I’ll get back to you soon about the jobs, I promise,” I interrupted. “Trust me, I know that it’s only business with you, I got it.”
“What does that mean?” she asked perplexed.
“What?” I asked. “Nothing, I’m not judging or anything. I know you want to get this business up and running. I don’t want anything to stand in the way.”
“What’re you saying?”
I had no idea what I was saying and yet, I continued. “I don’t know, Kayla… I’m really attracted to you. I’ve made that clear from the moment we met. And I know… I know how this thing goes with us. But… I don’t know, I’ve mixed feelings about it.”
She said nothing.
“I just need time,” I said. “Just give me a little time.”
“Are you sure you’re not drunk?” she asked.
I only had drunk two beers, so I wasn’t even tipsy. The alcohol wasn’t what was intoxicating me at the moment.
“I’m fine, I promise,” I said. “And forget everything I just said. I know, its only business. We keep it professional.”
I couldn’t read her and I wanted time to figure it out. Unsure of how she’d react, I decided to succumb to my need.
I took out my cell phone and took a picture of her. She didn’t move or change her expression. She kept her pose without me having to utter a word.
“I’ll talk to you soon,” I told her sadly.
Before she could ask why I took her picture or before she could tell me why she came outside in the first place, I leapt into my car and drove off without looking back.
I remained flustered until I passed out later that night, having put several shots of whi
skey on top of the beers I had at dinner. I turned TV on, but my eyes were focused on my cell phone and the single photo I took of Kayla outside Teddy’s Grill.
Chapter 18
Kayla
I didn’t have to return to work at Donnie T. until Thursday, where I was treated to another half day. I was asked to return to work early the next morning for a long shoot with the girls at a nearby studio. We were short staffed and Donnie felt less guilty about asking for the extra work because I had most of the week off. I was happy to do it anyway.
I wasn’t just happy because I knew the weekend was rapidly approaching. I was happy because every day, I was planning my unnamed company with Bethany. Our energy was palpable and it certainly felt like we were on an appropriate trajectory for success.
The only thing that bothered was how I left things with Justin. He texted me the day after our dinner meeting and said he wanted us to get back together and ‘discuss business again soon,’ but he was vague. He hadn’t texted me back since Wednesday.
During a break on the photoshoot, I texted Justin and asked if he wanted to get together sometime during the weekend. I wanted to discuss business, but I was also hoping he would give himself to me again. I wanted to feel his body against mine.
He usually texted back in less than an hour, but I worked the entire shoot and received no reply. I wondered if he was working or just busy. Since I knew him to be a focused man, I didn’t think much of it at first. But, the longer I heard nothing from him, the more stressed out I became. I tried to focus on the shoot, but my mind constantly drifted away to thoughts of him.
I was lucky, because I finally managed to make a friend within the group. When Stephanie wasn’t in front of the camera, she was talking with me. She was good at knowing when I needed to pay close attention and when I could juggle a conversation with work. She helped maintain my sanity. She didn’t know she was helping in that way, but I wasn’t keen on filling her in. We were having a good day together and I didn’t want to bring her down.
“Why did you never try to model?” she asked while I helped her try on outfits. “You’re plus-size, but who cares? You’re gorgeous and you should flaunt it!”
“Thank you for saying that,” I said sincerely. “That means something coming from a woman who looks like you. But, I’m not sure I would fit in.”
“I know they make sexy outfits for bigger girls,” she said. “You can fit in something, sweetie.”
I let out a hearty laugh. “That’s not what I meant. I mean, I’m not sure how well I’d get along with other models.”
“Damn,” Stephanie said sarcastically. “I thought we were chill. We don’t have to hang.”
I laughed again. “That’s not what I mean, either. Come on, Stephanie, let’s be real. I might be able to flaunt what I have, but that doesn’t mean anyone would take me seriously. Do you think I could compete with someone who looks like you?”
“Yes, I do,” she said. “I think you’re more disciplined, strong, and wise than any other girl in this building. When I came here, I had no idea I would learn more about modeling from my coordinator than my fellow models.”
I felt my cheeks flush red yet again. I thought the heat emitting from my cheeks was enough to boil away any petty jealousies I felt for Stephanie. I kept expecting her to show a different side, but she remained true. It was normally easy for me to hate the models I worked with. Stephanie made me struggle to find anything at all to dislike about her. I didn’t just have these feelings due to the excessive number of compliments I received from her throughout the day. She was nice. Kind. Funny.
“I sort of look up to you around here,” she continued. “You’re confident. You should hear what these chicks say when they think no one’s listening. They constantly want to get work done. They’ll go an entire day without eating if they feel even the slightest bit insecure. They’re truly pathetic.”
“I try not to judge,” I laughed.
* * *
Once our photoshoot wrapped, Stephanie and I found ourselves standing beside our cars again, just like we had each day since we officially met. Instead of salty snacks, we were drinking fruit smoothies.
I wasn’t sure if it was because work was over or if I just needed to finally start talking about him, but I thought of an easy way to discuss Justin without having to really discuss Justin.
“So, did that photographer you mentioned ever call you?” I asked.
She shook her head. “Nope, he sure didn’t. I guess he really just wasn’t interested. I thought we clicked when we met, but… I don’t know. Boys suck.”
I knew I should have felt sorry for her, but I couldn’t help but feel relieved. I wasn’t happy because he hadn’t called Stephanie, but I did take a certain joy in knowing he chose to talk to me over a model. My joy faded after I remembered it had been two days since I had any contact with him. He wasn’t talking to either of us.
“You shouldn’t look for boys, you should look for men,” I told her. “Not all guys are bad.”
“I’m not looking for anything, to tell you the truth,” she said. “I just want something good, you know? I know not all guys are bad. I’m not even saying this guy is bad. I’m just a little bummed. I fantasized about fucking his brains out all day when I saw him. We only had one day, but… I guess I’ll never know.”
My glee returned briefly. I knew… I knew what it was like to actually fuck her fantasy man.
“I thought about texting him or calling him,” she said. “He gave me his number too. I don’t know. I just haven’t been able to go through with it. I know it probably sounds weird or shallow or something, but I don’t like making the first call. I may be pushy, but I can get really nervous if I feel the least bit vulnerable. I’m a model, so I know vulnerability shouldn’t be an issue. It doesn’t happen to me a lot, but it does happen.”
“It happens to everyone,” I nodded. “It’s okay.”
“I don’t take any drugs or pills like…”
She stopped herself, pushing whatever names were at the front of her brain into the back. She cleared her throat.
“I don’t mess around,” she amended. “But, if you told me there was a pill that could magically make all my imperfections go away, I would take it every day.”
“You don’t have any imperfections,” I said.
“You’re just saying that because you’re Donnie’s head bitch,” she jested. “My hair goes insane all the time and my eyes are so annoying. They can barely open. Half the time, I look stoned and the rest of the time, I just have perpetual squinty eyes.”
I laughed, unsure of how serious her self-critique was. “I would kill to have your eyes. I hate how mine look. When mine are open, they look huge. I’m like an alien.”
She rolled her eyes, sucking out the remainder of her smoothie through her straw.
“So, tell me about this underwear line you’re starting!” she queried.
* * *
I decided later that night that, rather than dwelling, I would put myself out there again. I knew it was unwise to come across as even remotely desperate, but I felt like I could get away with it. He said too many wonderful things to me since we met for me to think he would be turned off by a little persistence.
I considered sending a text, but I decided to risk it and go for the phone call. I called him. It only rang for a few seconds before he answered.
“Hey there, entrepreneur!” he said after accepting the call. “How are you?”
“Hey,” I replied. “I’m pretty good, how about yourself?”
“I’m pretty good too.”
Right then, I understood precisely what Stephanie had meant by ‘nervous vulnerability.’ I decided against small talk.
“I’m not going to keep you long,” I said, pausing.
“Okay,” he said.
“…I was wondering if I could cook you dinner tomorrow night. How does Shepherd’s Pie sound?”
“Never heard of it,” he answered.
&n
bsp; “Well, we’re definitely having that then, it’s decided,” I said. “You don’t even know what you’ve been missing. And, you’ll be having my Shepherd’s Pie. You’re in for a treat, sir.”
“Isn’t that like a meat pie?” he wondered with obvious reluctance in his voice.
“Calling it a meat pie would be a disservice to the recipe,” I assured him. “Really, it’s incredible. You won’t want to eat anything else.”
“Sounds good,” he said.
We weren’t speaking, but it was okay. I could hear little noises in his background, but I couldn’t make out exactly what they were. I wondered if he was trying to discern any noises he heard in my background.
“Have you been working a lot?” I asked him.
“Yeah, for the most part,” he replied. “I’ve driven around New York a bit and been taking pictures too. It’s been awesome.”
“Cool,” I replied.
“Yeah.”
“…So, do you want to come over to my place tomorrow around six?”
“Sounds good,” he repeated. “I’ll be at your place at 5:55.”
“Don’t be late,” I said. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“I’ll be there at 5:55 on the dot,” he promised.
* * *
I started to change into pajams, but I decided to try on my newest bra and panty design before I settled into bed.
I stood naked in front of my mirror, but only for a few seconds. I put on the new underwear, admiring my choice of fabric. The material was soft and the color blended well with my skin and hair. I was content and ready for Bethany to try them on next.
Next, I put on one of my original bra and panty creations. I became upset quickly. They still looked good, yet they felt subtly, but noticeably, tighter.
I became even more upset when I realized that it wasn’t the underwear that had failed me. I gained weight since I designed this lingerie.
