by Joanne Rock
“I mean the house.” Jennifer ran her hand over the Lucite bar lit from underneath. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“It’s nice,” he agreed. “It belonged to a former football player, so it already had a lot of the extras, and Kyle has been adding bonus features since the moment we touched down in Philly. But about tonight—”
“Professional athletes have some seriously nice digs.” She moved toward the silver saddle chairs that looked like something out of a ’50s diner. “Sorry to gawk, but I’ve never hung out with hockey stars on my jobs before. I’m usually camping in some overheated trailer and feeling guilty about all my luxuries as I film the lives of—”
“Jen, this is important.” He redirected her, on edge about the meeting tonight. Could there be a worse time for this discussion? Dragging out one of the bar stools, he motioned toward it. “Have a seat.”
She bristled but did as he asked. Her red waves flounced as she dropped into the chair, her yellow skirt printed with limes and mangoes fanning out around her.
“So why don’t you want to go to the police about the threat?” she asked, crossing slender legs so that a green suede ankle boot brushed his calf.
“It wouldn’t be enough of a threat for the authorities to take seriously.” Pointing a finger at them like a gun and pulling an imaginary trigger? That’d get him laughed out of the local precinct.
“How do you know that until you file a formal complaint?”
“I was on the sketchy side of the law long enough to know how it works.”
“But that was in a foreign country. You’re on U.S. soil now.” Uncrossing her legs, she leaned forward to emphasize her point, her white T-shirt with an iconic film-reel design stretching across her breasts.
Damn but he wished he could think about that right now instead of being scared for her safety. The sooner he put some distance between them, the better. He’d been an idiot not to send her running back to New York the first day she’d shown up at the practice rink, but he’d gotten sucked in by her impulsive charm and undeniable sex appeal.
“Right. I’m in the U.S. now, where I could be deported if I’m not careful.”
“You haven’t done anything wrong.” She pounded a fist on the bar, clearly indignant at the thought of injustice.
In that moment, he could picture her making the documentaries she enjoyed most, her zeal for her work driving the project forward. It would be nice to be worthy of a woman like that. To be a man who didn’t have a lousy past tied around his neck like an albatross.
“I know you think I should go to the cops. But first, I’m going to speak to the local branch of the Destroyers and see what they want.” His cell phone burned a hole in his pocket, the text message assuring him there would be someone watching for him to leave Kyle’s tonight. Someone keeping tabs on him.
And that meant they would likely be on the lookout for Jennifer, too. His hands fisted and his determination solidified.
Jennifer reeled from Axel’s announcement, trying to figure out if she could have possibly misunderstood him.
“Are you insane?” She gripped his shoulders and faced him head-on. “You can’t do that.”
She’d researched the Destroyers after Axel had told her about his past and they were bad eggs. Notorious for drug running and brawling with rival gangs, they were trouble on both sides of the ocean.
“I have to.” He didn’t look swayed in the least.
“No.” She shook her head, refusing to hear it. “Ax, it’s dangerous. There are other—”
“Don’t you think I know it’s dangerous?” He stood, walking away from her when she needed to hang on to him with both hands. “I rode with them for years. I know exactly how they’ll handle this situation.”
Her stomach knotted tighter while he absently rolled the eight ball around the empty billiard table.
“You do?”
“Yes.” When the ball sank in a far pocket, he reached beneath the table and pulled out two others to spin across the felt. “They’re watching the house. They’ll surround my car on the way home, insist I ride with them to their stronghold. Then, after a few bullshit moves meant to intimidate me, they’ll blackmail me with my past and name their terms for their silence. If I don’t give them what they want, they’ll go after you next.”
“Me?” she squeaked before she cleared her throat. “Isn’t that all the more reason to involve the authorities?”
“No. That’s the best incentive to keep this quiet. If I rat them out, the consequences go from dangerous to deadly.” The certainty in his voice terrified her.
Suddenly, she didn’t care about their differences. About how a future between them didn’t add up. She just wanted him safe. Whole.
Most of all, she wanted him to stay here for the night where they wouldn’t come after him.
“Then let’s wait until morning to figure out what to do. We’ll ask your brother for help. Your family has connections. You can spend the night here—”
“I can’t.” He pulled out his cell phone. Maybe he checked the time or a message, because he only glanced at it before he returned it to his pants pocket. “I don’t want them gunning for my family any more than I want them to come after you, so Kyle can’t know any more about this than he already does.”
“Of course, but—”
“Jen. This isn’t going to work.” He stalked toward her, leaving the billiard table behind.
“That’s what I’ve been saying.” She reached for him, her fingers landing on the immovable wall of his chest. “Your plan is too dangerous.”
“No. I mean you and I.” His blue eyes were icy. Resolute. “We’ve known all along this was going to be difficult and having that kiss aired on television increased the problem one-hundred-fold.”
He couldn’t be serious.
“Axel, don’t push me away just because of this.” Needing to impress her point upon him, she shackled one thick forearm with both her hands. “We can figure this out.”
“It’s not just because of this. Even if we take the Destroyers out of the equation, there’s still a huge disconnect between you living and working in New York and me based in Philadelphia and traveling the country.” He swallowed hard and for a second she thought he was going to pull her into his arms and kiss her. Tell her that he was dead wrong and she was right and that they needed to go to the police.
But then, there was silence.
“We haven’t even discussed that yet, so why borrow trouble?” Her fingers squeezed tighter even though she knew that holding him there was the worst kind of clingy. “Let’s figure this out first, then we can worry about what will happen when I go back to New York.”
Clingy or not, she realized she’d never had a man worth hanging on to until now.
“Jen, maybe if this stuff with my past hadn’t come along, I would have been content to coast through the next few weeks and just enjoy what we have. But you can’t tell me that—even without the Destroyers—we would have made this work long-term.” He spoke like a reasonable stranger, his expression so cool and remote. His accent thicker than usual. “You are a social crusader with a mission for justice and equality. You thrive on championing the underdog. How will you feel in my world where all the houses look like this?”
He made a sweeping gesture around Kyle’s extravagant game room. The scent of the indoor pool still clung in her nose.
“Those things are just superficial,” she argued, even though she’d been a little worried about that herself.
And why did he have to bring it up now, before they’d even gotten time to work through those problems?
“Right. And you’ll always see them as superficial, even when I buy another new car instead of donating to a charity.” He had hit her in a vulnerable spot, since the cars did strike her as over-the-top. “I saw the judgment in your eyes when you looked at the vehicles in my garage last night.”
“Stop.” She felt panicky, as if she’d been pushed backward and there
was no one to stop her endless fall. “I know you’re just doing this because of the danger I could be in, and that’s not going to go away even if we break up right now.”
Right? That had to be why he was doing this now. She swallowed hard, waiting for him to say that he didn’t mean it.
Carefully, he pried her fingers from his arm and collected her hands in his.
“I’m sorry, Jennifer.” He kissed the back of one hand, his distant, polite manner bearing no resemblance to the charming cretin who’d stomped into her life on skates after a sweaty practice earlier that week.
“Damn you, Axel.” She wrenched her hands away from him, hurt to the core even though she shouldn’t be. Even though there was no way a woman could care so much for a man she’d only just met.
And oh, God, who was she kidding? Not once in her life had she slept with a man she didn’t l-o-v-e. Would spelling it make it any less real, she wondered? Any less true?
“Jennifer, I have to leave.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I already talked Kyle and Marissa into giving your camera guys an at-home interview tonight, which will keep Kyle too occupied to follow me. Marissa has offered for you to stay overnight afterward so I know you’re safe.”
“Do you honestly think you can dictate where I spend the night or orchestrate my life for me when you’re willing to walk away over this?” Sure, she hadn’t wanted to be a trophy girlfriend of some wealthy NHL player. But Ax was more than that.
They could figure out something if they stayed together. Fought for a future.
“I’m trusting you not to put your life in danger for a relationship that was never going to work anyhow. But if I have to, I’ll call Kyle and he’ll make sure you stay put for the night.”
Anger and hurt fired through her, but he was so cool and distant she knew he’d made up his mind. No amount of arguing was going to change it.
“You’re making a mistake,” she told him finally, hearing the media room doors open in the hallway and the sounds of the team filtering out into the corridor.
“I’m fixing a mistake,” he told her, his square jaw flexing. “I should have done it a long time ago.”
13
“ARE YOU MAD AT ME?”
Misty’s question was the first thing Chelsea heard when she answered her cell phone shortly after midnight.
Exhausted from her last-minute volunteer shift at the shelter and even more drained from her encounter with Vinny the night before, Chelsea sank onto the futon in her tiny living room. She pulled the homemade afghan, a gift from a long-ago social worker, onto her lap.
“Hmm. That begs the question, do I have a reason to be mad at you?” Tipping her head against the futon cushion, she closed her eyes for a moment until she remembered that Misty was still in New York with her SUV. She bolted upright in her seat. “Oh, God. You didn’t get in an accident, did you? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. The car is fine.” Misty’s singsong voice assured her. “You didn’t watch the first installment of the Phantoms documentary series, did you?”
“Not yet.” Grabbing the remote, she flipped on her television and the ancient VCR player beneath it. She was happy with her tag-sale furnishings and Craigslist purchases for the most part, but one of these days she needed to update her electronics. “Although, using my ever-reliable technology from a million years ago, I did try to record it.”
She rewound the tape long enough to see footage of the game in New York. Still, she didn’t have the heart to watch the show tonight. In the end, she’d given the director permission to use the clips of her and Vinny. When she’d said yes, she’d been excited about the possibility of seeing him more. Of moving toward some kind of real relationship with a guy she already trusted.
That was before she’d been scared spitless at the thought of meeting his parents.
“Oh.” Misty paused awkwardly, an uncommon occurrence for the woman who had an answer to everything. “Well, then. I might as well prepare you.”
“For what?” Her imagination ran wild. What if Vinny denounced her on national TV? Or what if someone researched her past and revealed private things about her that she wouldn’t want other people to know? That she’d been kicked out of that one gym, for example, where she’d used a fake membership card… .
“Nothing big,” Misty rushed to reassure her, although that was too little too late. “I just…I didn’t realize they were going to show the footage where I talked about your dream of running a shelter geared toward women and children.”
“You broadcast my dreams on television?” Chelsea’s finger hit the rewind button again—she needed to find out the extent of the damage.
Was privacy so much to ask for? Yes, safety and security came first. Yet after all the homeless years, after all the nights in shelters where anyone could walk past your bed while you were sleeping…damn it, she treasured her privacy.
“I didn’t think it was secret, per se—”
“But you knew I wouldn’t be happy about it or you wouldn’t have called asking if I’m mad at you.” She came to the start and hit Play. “Damn it, Misty, you of all people know—”
“Look, Chels. Never mind. I’m not sorry and I did it on purpose, okay?” She blurted the words. “Maybe that’s half the reason I wanted to visit family, just in case you were going to freak out on me. But I’m your friend, and I love you. You deserve to have that shelter and I wanted to put it out there in the public eye where—”
“What are you thinking?” Chelsea hit Fast-forward, but stopped dead when the screen came to her and Vinny talking. Oh, God. Her chest felt as if it had caved in, and she forgot to be mad at her best friend.
“I’m thinking that it doesn’t hurt to share a dream on the most popular cable network in the world,” Misty countered. “You’re a sweet girl with a big heart and one of the sharpest, most streetwise people I know. Viewers are going to see that. And by morning, some rich philanthropist is going to want to donate a jillion dollars to make sure you have the chance to do good in the world… . Chels?” Misty cut the diatribe suddenly short.
Chelsea tried to breathe past the lump in her throat and the pain in her chest.
“Yeah?” She clutched her afghan, thumbs winding through the purple-and-blue yarn. Not even the feel of her favorite things—the sight of her spotlessly clean little apartment—could ease the ache in her chest.
“I thought you’d cut me off or yell at me.” Misty sounded thoughtful. “Are you, like, genuinely furious?”
“No.” Her VCR was paused on the image of her and Vinny. The guy whose number was the first one she’d ever tattooed on her body. “I broke things off between me and Vinny, and I’m such an idiot.”
“You are not an idiot.” Misty took on her battle-general voice and it made Chelsea smile that she could envision her friend’s pursed lips and drawn-in cheeks perfectly. They’d lifted each other up through a lot of hard times.
But she couldn’t imagine feeling uplifted now, when she’d run scared from the best—the nicest—thing to ever happen to her.
“He wanted to introduce me to his parents.” She trembled inside just thinking about it. And she knew it was stupid that she was smart enough to survive homelessness and tough enough to outfox a coked-up teenager intent on raping her, yet the thought of meeting a couple of nice, ordinary Midwesterners frightened her to death.
But there it was.
“Well, of course you’re scared.” Misty said it as if it was the most reasonable thing in the world.
She loved Misty. Loved. Her.
“Really?”
“Perfectly normal girls who are brought up in brownstones and go to private schools are scared to meet their boyfriends’ parents.”
“He’s not exactly my boyfriend.” Her gaze went to the Phantoms poster on the wall above the TV, her eyes easily finding Vinny’s face amid all his teammates.
“He wants to be,” Misty told her. The sounds of the city emanated in the background. Horns honking. Br
akes squealing. “He just put the cart ahead of the horse because he’s excited to finally spend time with you. You’re so great that of course he wants his parents to meet you and see how awesome you are.”
“Right.” Chelsea wrapped the afghan around herself and shuffled into the kitchen so she could forage in the cabinets for something to eat. “I can hear it now, ‘Mom, Dad, meet Chelsea, professional groupie and former resident of the streets.’ I’m sure his parents will be impressed.”
“I won’t dignify that with a response. You know I’m right. And didn’t we agree that when we are running our own shelter there will be positive affirmations? Opportunities for people with battered self-esteem to grow?” Misty rattled off phrases that Chelsea herself had used more than once when talking about the kind of shelter she wanted to run one day.
“This is different.” Her hand went to the place on her chest where Vinny’s number rested. Her heart ached right there.
“It’s not different. Be the change you want to see in the world, right? We’ve got to forge the path to normal so that other women can see it’s possible. You need to believe in yourself, Chelsea.” Misty’s subtle croon had talked hundreds of rich women into buying expensive makeup packages back in those days of her first job at a cosmetics counter. She could be very persuasive. “How can we spout our ideals to others unless we’ve taken the risks to back them up ourselves?”
Chelsea turned back toward the living room, her VCR still paused on the image of her and Vinny. His warm hazel eyes and easy smile called to her. She could imagine his voice tinged with good humor as he told her about rounding up the stray cow the night before a big game. Most of all, she remembered his indignant anger at the night she’d been so scared in that pool house all alone.
He was a great guy. Maybe he deserved better.
But if he really wanted her… She was going to gather her courage and ask him for another chance.
* * *
IT DIDN’T MATTER WHERE Axel drove. He knew his past would find him. And on cue, five miles outside of Philly’s Chestnut Hill neighborhood, the sound of Harley engines rumbled in his ears.
