by C. A. Harms
There really was no reason to continue arguing. We would just have to agree that we disagree and move on from it.
“How was your day?” I don’t miss the way he flinches by my question. Something unreadable passes over him, and then he shrugs almost to cover up the reaction he just had.
“It was just long is all,” he say looking down at my legs instead of at me directly. “Glad to be home where I can relax with my girls.” When he says my girls, he softly grazes my stomach with his palm and I watch his movement with a feeling of awe.
“You seem stressed,” I tell him as I lift my hand to his face and trail them along his jaw feeling the stubble beneath. “Like something’s still on your mind and it’s troubling you.”
I watch him closely still noticing the way he was avoiding direct eye contact with me.
“Just thought I had a certain deal settled and done, then today I realized that it may just be the kind of deal that is never truly settled.” He begins working his hand up my thigh, working the tension away as he goes. “I just find things frustrating when I can’t make things go my way.” It’s then he smiles at me, and I still notice the troubled look in his eyes.
“That need for control,” I say and he nods. “Oh powerful one,” he chuckles at my choice of words, “there are times when you just need to accept that you are not a super hero, nor godly.”
“Is that so?”
I notice the playful gleam in his eyes as he turns his body toward me, moving in every so slow. I nod in response and he glides his hand that was just firmly planted on my thigh higher and higher, before sliding it between my legs.
“Where’s Katelynn?”
“Her room,” I say breathlessly, “homework.”
He looks up in the direction of her bedroom just as his finger slips beneath the hem of my shorts and then my panties. “I do know one thing that could lighten my mood,” I close my eyes as he continues to tease me. His voice low and husky as he leans in just a little closer to whisper near my ear. “The one thing that no matter what is going on in my day, can always make me feel better.”
“And, what’s that?” I gasp when he slides his finger inside me. For a few seconds he chooses to say nothing, only continues the movements of his skillful fingers. Suddenly I felt needy and desperate for more. “What makes you feel better?”
I swear the moment the words leave his mouth I’m gonna attack him right then and there.
“Taking my girls out for a nice dinner.” My eyes fly open and I gawk at him. It was sweet, but definitely not what I need or expect to hear him say.
Then he chuckles and pulls his hand back, immediately bringing it to his lips and tracing his lower one with the tip of the finger that he just had inside me. “I am hungry,” I glare at him just as his tongue glides over his lip seductively.
“What’s wrong?”
Crossing my arms over my chest I still stare up at him, unable to form words. Actually I take that back, I had a lot of words, just none of them felt appropriate. There were a lot of vulgarities rolling around in my mind, things that I want to shout, yet I hold back.
“You wanna tell me again that I’m not a super hero or godly?” He smirks when my mouth gapes as if I forget how to speak. “Because at this point I do believe I have a whole hell of a lot of power over you.”
He rises up, presses a kiss to my forehead and walks away with more skip to his step than he had when he entered the penthouse. At least there was one thing accomplished by this very unfair display of power, his mood had shifted to that playful man I adore.
“Well, hello, pretty ladies,” Katelynn and I look up from the table we were just directed to and find Aric standing at the side. “This selfish brother of mine decided to give me some time with my two favorite girls.”
I look to my right to see Alec smiling as if he’s just done something great, and in a way he had. Aric and I were friends, we developed that friendship during a time when I needed it most. It was never anything more, just the support of a friend that even in the saddest of times had managed to make me smile and laugh. Aric was also an amazing addition to Katelynn’s life. He was now like that crazy, silly trouble-finding uncle that she absolutely adored, though she tries to play it off like he is annoying. We haven’t seen as much of him as we used to since moving in with Alec. I always hate bringing it up, because I know even though Alec tries to play it off like he isn’t jealous of the friendship we share, he is.
“I got tired of the daily phone calls from this dumb ass begging for some family time,” Alec grins and I lean in and press a kiss to his jaw. “Thank you,” I whisper. “Have I told you yet today just how much I love you?” He shakes his head. “Because I do, very much.”
“Love you too, beautiful.” His lips graze mine, “and I always will,” then he kisses me softly before we turn our attention back to Aric and Katelynn. They had already fallen into the pattern they’re into. That crazy banter and silly debates over things that really truly meant nothing to them they just love to battle it out with each other.
Like two old ladies nagging back and forth refusing to let the other one be right.
It was comfortable, like we’d always been apart of this little group. Even Alec and Aric began hassling each other, and it was nice to hear the two of them laughing and enjoying the company of the other.
On our drive home I sit back and listen to the duet performed by Alec and Katelynn. It still amazes me how she can get him to relax and do things I never imagined him doing. Video games, those that involve dance moves were the best. Those are the times I love the most because he is so relaxed.
We arrive home and Katelynn gives me a hug telling me good night before moving toward Alec and doing the same. Seeing her held in his arms, with such care almost as if she is the most delicate thing, it pulls at something inside of me. He may not be her father, but he was quickly becoming a man she trusts and relies on. She looks up to Alec, because he makes her feel safe, I know because he does the same for me.
“She’s a good kid,” He says as we walk toward our own room.
“She is, and she adores you.” I turn to face him just as he closes our door behind us. “You’ve given her so much, and seeing how she looks at you, it gets me every time.” I place my hand over my heart as if to ease the ache that lies there.
“I love her too.” He moves in closer, placing his hands on my hips. “And I love you.”
“Every single time you say that to me, it makes my heart race.”
My confession seems to please him as he moves one hand higher to cup the back of my neck and pull my lips to his. He deepens the kiss almost immediately and I welcome the advance. His tongue rolling with my own, him tasting me and mimicking the movements of his hips as he pushes forward. He was hard and the desire I felt for him earlier comes back to my in a rush.
He did this to me. Managing to make me want him so bad my head feels as if it is spinning.
“Get undressed,” he whispers against the corner of my lips. “Crawl up on the bed and hold on to the headboard.” Excitement rushes through me, because the man he was then, the one that was demanding it was the version of him I needed. I was desperate to be controlled. I love his sweet side, and there are times when I just need him to go slow and express the love he feels in his movements, but now wasn’t one of those times.
I step back and stand before him and begin to undress. The way he watches me, with that conquering look in his eyes like he’s one step away from devouring me is so sexy. When my dress pools onto the floor at my feet I step out of it and reach for the strap of my bra. Skillfully I remove each strap and unhook the clap as it slowly falls away. My breast were much fuller than before and by the look in his eyes every time he sees them, I would have to say he appreciates the change.
I hook my thumbs under both side of my panties and that is the moment he begins to undress himself. There I stood before him, practically panting in anticipation as he removes one piece at a time.
Within seconds we’re standing before one another, nothing separating us any longer as we appreciatively take in the other.
“On the bed, baby,” he directs and I move to the position he requests.
My hands shook as I grip the headboard and my legs tremble when I feel him move in behind me. He reaches around and slowly begins to roam over my body. His palm gliding over my hip while his other kneads my breast. I bite my lip to keep from gasping as his fingers find the spot I need them most. Quickly he picks up right were he left off before dinner and I fall into that blissful state again.
He seems to know just how to touch me, how to build me up to the point of breaking.
“Don’t let go.” The heat of breath covers my right shoulder just before he presses a kiss in the very same spot.
Then suddenly he is there, slamming inside me and letting out a long groan of pleasure. “Damn,” he says as he begins to move. Nothing about the way he moves is slow and steady. It’s demanding and aggressive, and I love it. I throw my head back gripping the headboard tighter to keep from letting go. The way the bed shifts beneath us with each powerful thrust only brings out the erotic sensations of our union.
He manages to make me feel treasured and loved, even when he fucks me.
The sounds of our bodies, mixed with the deep pleased moans are the only sounds that fill our room.
When we both reach our peak my body sags forward, as I still manage to hold my body upright, and his remains pressed in behind me. The slick feel of his skin from his exertion feels wet against my back. The deep exhale of breath, one after another as he tried to calm himself feels cold against damp skin.
“You make me feel whole, Brynn.” Alec whispers in the darkness and suddenly I feel as a knot has formed in my throat. “I don’t want to ever again feel what life is like without you. I love you so much.”
I feel the tears forming in my eyes as I fight them and attempt to swallow past the thickness in my throat. “I love you and I’m not going anywhere.”
He seems pleased by my words and he reaches up and places his hands over my own, carefully pulling them away from he headboard. Carefully he moves me around on the bed and helps me lie down, before moving his body in behind mine. “I just wanna hold you like this,” he curls his body in lovingly to mine, his palm resting over my stomach while his other arm is curled beneath my neck and shoulders. “All night.”
I take in a deep breath as I settle in and draw from him the comfort his embrace supplies. Because in his arms everything seems right.
Chapter 31
Alec
I sat in the backseat of the car, staring out the tinted glass at the front entrance of the medical center. My legs vibrates with the nervous energy I feel flowing through me rapidly. I held a glass of whisky in my hand, half gone. I was drinking before ten a.m., and that in itself should be alarming, but I need something to keep me relaxed.
This was wrong, I knew it was. The guilty feeling inside me should be all I need to confirm that. But each time I feel the need to leave, I would remember Caden and his sweet smile and it would keep me here where I sat. Waiting, watching and fearing the outcome of this day, for more reasons than one.
I lift my glass to my lips and finish off the contents as I place it on the holder before me. That’s when I see her, and him, walking hand in hand toward the entrance. I remain seated as I watch her pause near the blue awning and bend down in front of the little boy wearing a dark baseball hat. I recognize it immediately as it was the Yankees hat I’d bought shortly after he was born when I bought myself one to match. Dreams of taking my son to all the home games where we’d build memories that would last us both a lifetime.
Mandy looks different, her hair is no longer long and full, but cut short instead. Straight bobbed at her chin, sleek even, and very unlike the woman I remember. She wore tight fitted pants and a cropped coat with high boots. She didn’t look like she was hurting in any way for money.
I take in a deep breath and square my shoulders as I climb out of the car. “I’ll call you when I’m finished here.” I tell Warren and he nods, looking back over my shoulder. I’ve known him for years, and seeing a displeased look fall over his face only making me feel worse for what I’m doing.
“It’s for him, not her.”
“Are you telling me that or asking yourself a question?” Warren is usually very tight lipped. Never normally voicing an opinion one way or the other in regard to what I may or may not doing. “Stating a fact,” I tell him as I step back and close the door.
When I turn around I find Mandy standing tall once more, still holding the hand of Caden in hers. She offers me a smile, but the only thing I see is him.
As I move across the street I watch him tuck himself behind her legs shyly.
“Hello Alec,” Mandy says cautiously. I offer her a nod, looking back toward the little guy who was still looking at me with caution. “This is Alec,” Mandy tells him as she moves Caden out from behind her leg and kneels at his side. “He’s the friend I was telling you about.”
Friend. Seems strange considering his first word was dada and it was me he was saying it to when he was barely one.
“Hello Caden,” I say kneeling too, in order to bring myself more at eye level. “That’s a really cool hat. Do you like baseball?” He nods, his fingers in his mouth and he sucks on them then same as he always did before. “Me too,” I tell him as I reach up to touch his finger with my cheek. “Your mommy tells me that you don’t like going in here,” I point toward the entrance behind him. “But I thought we could make a deal. If you go in here, with us, and listen to the things the doctors have to say, afterward we’ll go get ice cream.”
His eyes light up and he looks over at Mandy, and she nods her head.
“Does that sound like a deal?” Caden agrees as he reaches out and takes my hand. The moment I feel his little fingers wrap around mine, my heart feels like it lurches in my chest. The sound of my phone ringing in my pocket as we walk through the front entrance breaks through the tension I feel and I search for it in the inside pocket of my jacket.
When I see that it’s Aric, I silence the call and turn the ringer off. I’d call him later, after this was all done.
“Hows that taste, bud?” I ask as I lean in closer and watch in amazement as this little guy devours the bowl of vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup and sprinkles. When he looks up I laugh at the mess surrounding his mouth. “Looks like you’re enjoying it.”
“He loves ice cream,” Mandy replies with a laugh. “And cake, and cookies, anything sweet really. I have to limit him or he gets a little wild.”
“So uh, what happened with you know who?” I purposely keep the conversation vague, for Caden’s benefit.
“I guess it just became too much,” Mandy shrugs. “We were basically two people coexisting in the same place to raise a child. It was a mess from the start, but I couldn’t keep lying like I was.”
“Why didn’t you just come clean in the beginning?” It was something I often wondered, not that it would change anything now.
“I think I just thought that if I ignored the truth I could somehow make it disappear. Looking back at that choice, the one to stray, it was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. I know nothing I could ever say or do, can change anything about were we are now. But at that time, I guess I just wished that you were his father.”
I swallow passed the lump in my throat and look away from Mandy, feeling like what we shared was already too much.
“One day I know you’ll make an amazing father, Alec,” Mandy adds. “You were always so perfect with him.”
“I have a daughter,” I say then wonder why I even gave her that much.
“Really?”
“Actually she’ll be here sometime in March,” I correct.
“Are you married?” I look up to find her looking back at me with curiosity and something about it makes me feel sickened. So instead of sharing any more of my life with her, I turn back to Caden and
let it die there.
Soon he and I are lost in conversations about dinosaurs and super heroes. He was so animated and it was impossible to hold back that laughter he caused. I ignore Mandy, each time she makes an unnecessary comments or asks a question. Like I said earlier and I still meant it now, today had nothing to do with Mandy. I wasn’t here for her. I wasn’t here to take a trip down memory lane or talk over what ifs.
There was no us, there never would be.
Chapter 32
Brynn
“Aric is on his way,” Rose tells me as she holds my hand. “Everything is gonna be okay.”
I want to believe her, I want to let go of this fear inside of me, only I can’t. The pain is too much and nothing that would be okay felt this bad. My stomach tightens over and over as the medical team shift me on the gurney I lay. The sounds of directions from nurses lead them away from the ambulance and toward the double doors the open to the emergency room.
“Where’s Alec?” I ask through the pain, my voice sounding strained.
“Aric is calling him, sweetheart,” she assures me as she hurries along the side of the fast moving gurney. “He’ll get him here.” I nod, just as another round of pain rips through my abdomen. I close my eyes tightly as I try with everything inside of me to remain calm.
Everything happens so fast, the medical team steps in and begins to evaluate me. Words that terrified me are spoken as if I’m not even there. Baby is in distress, heart rate dropping, and a cry escapes me only this time it’s because I fear the worst.
I should have listened to Alec. I should have taken off work and stayed at home instead. But I had to be stubborn, I had go to work and think I could do it all. Strenuous activity wasn’t enough, I had to climb up and down a ladder gathering extra materials off higher shelves and prove that I could do it all.
