WE SPENT THE ENTIRE DAY on the beach soaking up the sun. I could tell that was exactly where Lennie needed to be, but at the same time, I needed to get home. Chad sent me a few texts telling me Jodi had been asking about Lennie.
Lennie still hasn’t told me exactly why she wanted to suddenly up and leave, but I’m guessing whatever the reason, Jodi knows, which is why I told her we need to go back to Dallas. She needs to face whatever scared her, and I have clients who are depending on me. When I told her it was time for us to leave, I was expecting her to be upset, but instead she smiled and started packing her bag.
She was quiet for most of the drive, and I would have given anything to know what she was thinking. By the time we arrived at my door, she was no longer my Lennie—or at least the Lennie I’ve spent the last five days with. Instead, it was like I was meeting a totally different person.
“Here, let me take that.” I reach out for her bag but she steps away from me.
“Actually, I should check in with Jodi. I didn’t tell her I was leaving. I can only imagine how pissed she is at me.” She laughs off her comment as dread starts to take over. I have a sinking feeling that Lennie is trying to escape me.
“You’re not going to leave Dallas, are you?”
Her eyes flash. “No...I mean, yes.” She groans. “I’m not going to leave today, but you know I don’t plan to stay here forever.”
I reach out for her hand. “I know, and I’m willing to accept that, just please don’t leave without telling me goodbye.”
Her eyes soften as she gives me a small smile. “I won’t. I promise.” My racing heart starts to slow. Lennie might be a lot of things, but she’s never given me a reason not to trust her.
“Okay, I should get going. I need to catch up on some clients.” Before I open my door, I take her face in my hands and I attack her mouth. Instantly, Lennie sags into my arms. My tongue pushes past her lips as our kiss deepens. Lennie presses her body tighter against mine with a deep groan. All too soon I pull back, knowing if I don’t we’ll end up in my bed together, and Lennie made it clear she needs to check in with Jodi.
“Tomorrow. If I don’t see you tonight, make sure you come over tomorrow.”
Lennie nods her head before disappearing behind Jodi’s door. My heart starts to speed up again as the sensation that Lennie might actually disappear from my life takes over.
***
“WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU been?” Chad questions after I have my things unpacked.
“I went on a trip with Lennie. Why?”
Chad shakes his head, acting annoyed by my answer. “For starters, you never leave the damn apartment let alone go on an actual vacation.” Leaving when I did wasn’t actually the best timing. Last week, I signed a new contract with a company and promised them a full report in less than a week. I have less than two days to come up with something. I work great under pressure, but I’ve never worked with this tight of a schedule before, but telling Lennie no wasn’t an option.
“You know Lennie. She’s unpredictable. She walked into the apartment and was ready to leave, so I went with her.”
“Why? Why did she suddenly want to take a trip?”
I shrug instead of answering. I’m not about to say anything that Lennie doesn’t want repeated.
“I saw Jodi a few times while you were gone. She wasn’t very happy that Lennie took off.”
“You do know that Lennie is twenty-five years old? Last I knew she didn’t need her sister’s permission to leave town.” I had more bite in my tone than I intended, which causes Chad to put his hands up.
“Hey, I couldn’t care less. I only meant it sounds like there’s more going on than she’s let on, that’s all.”
“Look, I’m tired and I need to get some work done.”
“All right. I can take a hint.” Chad gives me a grim smile before leaving my room.
Jodi called Lennie unpredictable from the moment I met her, so why is she shocked that Lennie up and left town without telling her? That sinking feeling is back and I’m not sure why.
***
I END UP WORKING UNTIL the middle of the night. I thought I would be tired enough that I wouldn’t miss Lennie when I finally crashed, but it didn’t work. I tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable without her. We were only gone for a few days but it felt longer, and it was definitely long enough to get used to having her in bed with me.
When I started to finally doze off, my phone buzzed with a text message. After three in the morning, Lennie is the only person I’d think would text me. Hoping like hell she’s texting because she can’t sleep without me, I grab my phone. Only it’s not Lennie. It’s Brandon.
Brandon: We need to talk.
I’m shocked that Brandon would text me at all, but I’m really taken aback that he’d reach out to me at this hour. He’s married with two small children. What in the world is he doing on his phone this late at night?
I haven’t kept up with Brandon, but I’ve heard a few rumors. Rumors that make me wonder if he’s lying next to his wife or another woman at this time of night. But I’m past the point of caring. If Amber and I had pleasantly split up and years later she ended up with my brother, I would be pissed on her behalf but I can’t find it in me to give a damn. The old saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” was coined for a reason.
If I had to make a guess, I would say that our mother put him up to contacting me. She probably demanded that he apologize, and it’s hard to ignore our mother when she demands something. For our family’s sake, I’ll listen, and thanks to having Lennie in my life, I might even be ready to forgive Brandon. But hell will freeze over before I trust my brother again.
“I’M SURPRISED YOU CAME BACK.” Jodi’s icy voice fills the living room as I step inside. I set my suitcase down and look her direction.
She’s sitting in the dark. I can barely see her, but I can see enough to know she’s not wearing any makeup. Her hair is a mess and she looks like she’s still wearing her pajamas. None of that describes my normally perfect sister.
“I just needed to get away for a few days.”
Her eyes narrow. “And you didn’t think I deserved to know that you were coming back?”
At the moment, Jodi reminds me of our father, and I’ll be honest, I’ve never mastered the correct thing to say to him.
“I’m sorry.” Silence fills the room as she stares at me. “I’m sorry I left. I—”
“You did what you do best, which is leave.” Her words pierce part of the shield I’ve been wearing for ten long years. I left to protect Jodi and the opposite happened.
“I wasn’t going to leave for good.”
“I didn’t know that,” she immediately snaps. “You show up at my door, lying about why you returned to Dallas in the first place, you skate in and out of my apartment for over a month, acting like life is fucking great, then you drop a bomb on me and take off. Sorry if I wasn’t counting on seeing you again.”
The urge to grab my suitcase and walk out her door is strong. I could leave Dallas and pretend my life is great for as long as possible, but the idea of leaving Tyler behind doesn’t sit well. Not to mention, I can’t leave things like this with Jodi. She deserves closure more than anyone.
“I’m going to call tomorrow and make an appointment. I’d like to stay here with you for however long I can.” Jodi’s face doesn’t change in the slightest. I think it’s possible I’ve already ruined what little relationship we had left.
“I’m sorry I left. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I’d be back, and if you want the truth, I wasn’t thinking about you when I left. I couldn’t listen to them again.” My voice cracks. “Never once during my years of treatments did they ask me what I wanted. If Dad thought it was a good idea, then I did it. If there was even the smallest chance the treatment would work, Dad signed me up. He didn’t care what the consequences were. He didn’t care if I spent six months of my life throwing up and losing my hair or ingesting things no human being sh
ould ever have to.” Jodi’s face finally softens. “I can’t go back to that, Jodi.” Her eyes start to water as she sniffles. “There were days when I begged to die. The treatments seemed a thousand times worse than the actual disease.” Jodi wipes at her eyes. “And he had a cure the whole time.”
The times in my life before I got sick are memories paired with dreams, and I can’t tell the difference. What I do remember is always looking up to my big sister. She couldn’t do anything wrong, and apparently my father thought the same thing. So much so that he was more worried about harming Jodi then he was saving me.
“I can’t tell you why Dad didn’t tell anyone about me being a match. I can’t make an excuse for him, but that was ten years ago, Lennie.”
“I know exactly how long ago it was, but I’m not ready for whatever those two have in store for me. What I do or don’t do this time is up to me and me alone.”
Jodi nods her head. I can tell she doesn’t agree with me, but thankfully, it doesn’t appear she’s going to push me, at least not for now.
“I need to get some rest. I have to be in court in the morning. Would you please let me know when you make your appointment?”
I nod my head as I pick up my bag off the floor.
“Goodnight.”
Jodi clears her throat. “Goodnight, Lennie.”
Once I’m in her guest room, I let go of the tears I’ve held in. I don’t know what the future holds. I just know that no matter how hard I’ve tried, my future is about to impact the people I care the most about.
***
I CALLED MY ONCOLOGIST, AND due to evading their questions, the earliest appointment I could get was over three weeks away. No matter how many questions I was asked, I couldn’t make myself admit that I was sick and that I needed to make an emergency appointment. This is my ten-year checkup and nothing more, but now I have three weeks to pretend everything is fine.
I wait until I know Jodi is gone before I come out of my room. After I find something to eat, I take a shower and get dressed. I need to get down to the shelter and check in with Carla. For all I know—like everyone else—she’s even given up on me. After all, I left without telling her I planned to return. When I step out of Jodi’s apartment, I stop to stare at Tyler’s door. I want more than anything to open it and walk in like everything is normal, but it’s not. Normal is a word that doesn’t belong in my vocabulary. I need to distance myself from Tyler. I need to do everything in my power to ensure he’s not hurt when my fate is finally delivered, but the idea of making him hate me causes my heart to race. I can’t treat him the way Amber did, but what else can I do to protect him?
After a deep breath, I turn and make my way out to my car. The drive to the shelter isn’t long enough and before I know it, I’m walking inside.
“Sugar, you’re back.”
Carla lights up when she sees me. She should be pissed that I left her high and dry. I can handle anger. What I can’t handle is the amount of happiness Carla always seems to have towards me. I know that speaks more about me than it does Carla, but it only adds to my urge to leave Dallas.
“I took a short trip with Tyler. It was last minute. I’m sorry I didn’t call you.”
“Nonsense, honey. I’d leave in a moment’s notice with that beefcake if I were you, too. I will say it’s nice to see you back.”
“It’s good to be back.” That’s probably the closest thing to the truth I’ve said in weeks. I like to be needed. I need to be needed, but only on my terms. The idea that Jodi and Tyler might need me sickens me to my core, but the idea that Carla and the animals here need me gives me a purpose in life because when I leave—no matter how that ends up being—I know that I helped them for as long as I could.
***
I MADE THE MISTAKE OF texting my mother and telling her when my appointment is. I thought Jodi would have told them I took off but she didn’t, and that only adds to my guilt. Jodi’s had my back since I was little, and this only proves that she still does. Then again, no one, and that includes Jodi, wants to deal with my father when he’s on a mission, but I’m not positive the reaction he’d have this time. I’m already a huge disappointment to him. Maybe it would be best if I’m no longer able to cause him and Mom problems.
Like normal, I ignore my mother’s text and return to Jodi’s. The moment I walk into the room, I know something isn’t right. The hair on my arms stands up the second I hear his voice, and again the urge to run overwhelms me.
“There you are,” my mother purrs when she sees me.
“Yep. Here I am.” Mom grabs my arm and tugs me into Jodi’s living room.
“James, she’s here.”
My father looks from Jodi and locks eyes with me. “Where have you been?”
“I told you, Dad, she was at the animal shelter. She’s a volunteer there,” Jodi says on my behalf, but if anything, it only adds to my father’s annoyed expression.
“I’m sure Lennie is capable of speaking for herself.”
Dad puts his hands in his pockets and rocks back on his feet, waiting for me to say something.
“I was at the animal shelter. I didn’t check my phone after I sent Mom a text,” I lie. I don’t usually make a habit out of lying, but where my father is concerned, anything goes.
“Your account is at an all-time low, Lennie. Don’t you think you should focus on a job that might actually pay you something?” My account that he’s referring to has more money in it than most people make in a lifetime.
“Maybe we should talk about why you’re nosing around my bank account. I transferred my money to another bank for a reason. I guess with your power, it shouldn’t surprise me that you know the right people to stick your nose in where it doesn’t belong.”
Both my mother and Jodi gasp. Dad’s eyes narrow. “Watch how you speak to me. I’m your father and you will treat me with respect.”
I should have felt some remorse but I don’t. “You’re my father but you don’t really love me, not the way a father should, and you haven’t done anything to earn my respect. If I don’t act like you, if I don’t act like Jodi, then I’m the outcast and I’m okay with that. I’ve learned to be okay with that, but that doesn’t mean you get a say in my life anymore.”
He shakes his head in disgust. “You’re always the first one to tell everyone how much you don’t need them but without your family how would you have survived the last ten years? Huh? It sure as hell wasn’t because you went out and learned how to support yourself. You should be a disappointment to yourself, Lennie, and the fact that you’re not is unnerving.”
“Daddy,” Jodi whispers.
My eyes unwillingly water. Believing I’m a disappointment and hearing it are completely different things. “When the doctors warned you about possible side effects, did you listen?” Instead of answering me, his face hardens even more. “Did you listen when the doctors told you those were life alternating drugs they were giving me? You were so willing to save my life, but at what cost? Do you ever wonder if I am who I am today because of the treatments you forced on me?” My mom sniffles and wipes at her eyes. “Sometimes...it feels like I’m being punished for your mistakes.”
I turn around and walk right back out the door. Again, I want to open Tyler’s door and walk straight into his arms, but I stop myself. Instead, I run out to my car and get the hell out of the retirement village. I need a night at a bar where I might find a way to completely numb myself.
MY SIBLING FROM HELL CONTINUES to text me, but I’ve yet to answer him. I might be willing to accept his forced apology, but that doesn’t mean I’m eager to talk to him. On some level, I’ll be relieved when I can finally put this behind me, but I don’t think Brandon is sincere, therefore this will probably always hang over us.
“No Lennie tonight?” Chad questions as he walks into the living room, which is noticeably quiet without Lennie around.
“I was going to give her an hour or two then I was going to check on her.” Chad nods his head but he
acts almost upset by my answer, which I don’t understand. He’s urged me for years to go out and live life again, and now that I actually have a relationship, he suddenly doesn’t seem the least bit happy for me.
“I was going to ask you if you wanted to go out for a beer. Just you and me, you know, like old times?”
I’ve been a shitty friend to Chad since Lennie crashed into my life. If I’m being honest, I’ve been a shitty friend for years. Chad has all but dragged me out of this apartment trying to get me to move forward with my life, and I’ve always held a piece of myself back.
“That sounds like a good idea, but let me at least check in with Lennie.”
Chad gives me a quick head nod as I jump to my feet and cross the hall to Jodi’s apartment. As much as I want to grab Lennie and take her with me, I’ll settle for at least knowing she’s okay. I haven’t seen her since yesterday when we got back and my nerves are on edge.
I knock and several long moments pass before Jodi finally answers. “Tyler, what are you doing here?”
I try my best to look past her shoulder, but I don’t see Lennie. “I stopped by to see Lennie.”
Jodi’s face scrunches up. “Oh, I thought she was with you.”
Immediately, my heart starts racing. She promised...she promised she wouldn’t leave without telling me. “I haven’t seen her since yesterday morning.” I curl my fingers into a fist as my anger starts to surface.
“Oh, she left about an hour ago.”
“Did she take her stuff?” My voice was harsher than I intended.
“Oh, heavens no. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to scare you. Our parents were here and Lennie doesn’t interact that well with them.” Jodi breathes out a long sigh. “My dad and her did what they do best, which is butt heads. Lennie grabbed her purse and left. Honestly, I thought she walked over to your apartment.”
I nod, unable to come up with something to say. Lennie was upset and instead of turning to me, she left to be by herself. I thought I finally made it through to her, but I’m guessing I’ve yet to discover the many layers of Lennie Jacobs.
Meeting The Unpredictable Page 15
