by Holly Hart
The female EMT gave her colleague a reproachful, disapproving look and he shrank back, stung. If I could have moved without suffering severe pain, I'd have given her a fist bump for standing up for the sisterhood. As it was, I had to settle for shooting her a look of thanks.
"How far along are you, Miss Hudson?" she asked gently. She was a whole heck of a lot more pleasant to deal with than her partner, that was for sure.
"Not sure," I grunted. "Maybe six weeks, or just a bit longer? I've got a gyno visit scheduled, just haven't been yet."
She tried to disguise her anxious glance towards her colleague, but I spotted it. I was searching both of their faces desperately for any clue as to whether there was something seriously wrong with me – or worse, the child I was carrying within me.
"What's wrong?" I asked anxiously, fear clouding all the sensations of pain that were flooding through my body. "Please, tell me."
"We're not sure, Miss Hudson, we just need to get you to the hospital – okay?"
"Please, tell me – is there something wrong with my baby?"
The female EMT gave me a pitying look that hurt more than any of the stabbing pains in my stomach. "We don't know anything for sure," she tried to reassure me, but by then it was too late.
They transferred me to a stretcher and carried me into the back of the ambulance. It wasn't a long drive to the hospital, but it felt like a lifetime as I cradled my stomach in my hands, tears dripping down my soaking face and catching on the rim of the oxygen mask the EMTs had placed over my mouth.
"I'm going to give you a shot to help with the pain, okay?" the woman asked.
I grabbed her hand. "No!" I hissed. "No pain meds."
"The chances that it'll hurt the baby are almost non-existent, and you look like you're in agony," she said, trying to convince me.
"But there's a chance?" I asked penetratingly.
"A small one," she allowed.
"Then no pain medicine," I insisted. "I can take the pain. Whatever you do, don't do anything that could hurt my child. I can't have another…"
She gave me a sad look, as though she suspected that I wouldn't be able to have this one, either, and it broke my heart. I bit down on my lip to avoid descending into a full on sobbing fit.
The last thing I heard before we pulled up at the emergency department was the other EMT's deep voice from the front of the ambulance.
"Unit two-niner coming in fast. We've got a pregnant lady, six to eight weeks along, suspected ectopic."
I knew then and there that I was going to lose my child.
25
Clay
I didn't bother locking the car, or even taking the keys with me. Hell, that piece of metal was the last thing on my mind. I threw the door open and sprinted directly to the awning that covered the emergency department's entrance. I was fit, but I pushed myself beyond every limit I ever knew I had to get into the hospital as quickly as I could. I didn't stop until I had reached the reception desk.
"You need to help me!" I begged, chest heaving. The nurse seated behind reception gave me a quick, dismissive look before locking her eyes back on her computer screen. I was about to scream for help when she looked back up, her eyes widening.
"Clay Hunt?" she said, the redness of flushed surprise sweeping over her face. I knew in that moment that using my fame would be the best way to get what I needed right now – much as I hated to do it.
"There's a woman here, Liss. No – I mean Alicia."
"Mr. Hunt, I mean, sir – are you a relative?"
"I'm her fiancée," I said desperately. "Please, tell me that she's okay."
A look of disappointment crossed the nurse's face this time, but she covered it up professionally and still seemed eager to help a man as famous as me. I caught a couple of irritated looks from the busy waiting room as people realized that I was getting preferential treatment, but right now I didn't care. If I had to donate a million dollars to the hospital in penance, I would – as long as they saved my lover and my child.
"What's her surname, sir?"
I cast around in my mind desperately – to me she'd always be Liss. "Hudson," I gasped, "it's Hudson."
A look of concern crossed her face. "What's wrong?" I asked. "Is she okay?"
"She's in room nine, Mr. Hunt, but it's not visiting times…"
I didn't care. "What's wrong with her?"
"I'm afraid I can only discuss that with family," she replied, looking concerned at my wild-eyed expression.
"I'm her damn fiancée!" I screamed in frustration. No one here had any idea that my relationship with Alicia was the fraud that it had started out as, and I couldn't understand why they wouldn't help me.
"But you're not on her visitation list, I'm afraid," the nurse said sadly. "I'm afraid you're going to have to come back tomorrow morning. We simply can't—"
I pushed myself away from the desk, done with this pointless conversation – it wasn't getting anywhere. The nurse looked affronted, but just shook her head and went back to her computer, rather than calling security. Good – because I had no intention of leaving and coming back in the morning.
I looked up at the blue and white signs that hung from the ceiling. The one which read ‘Rooms 1-9’ pointed to my right and I followed it without hesitation. I sprinted down the long corridor, passing treatment rooms on either side until I finally reached number nine – the last. I saw a familiar face sitting on a bench outside the room, his foot tapping erratically and uncontrollably on the linoleum floor.
"Mike!" I greeted emotionally. "Tell me what's wrong. Is it the kid?"
"Your kid's fine," he grinned back broadly, "both—" He caught himself, biting down on his lip in the process.
"Both of them?" I asked. "So Alicia's okay, too?" I needed him to say yes, because if he didn't, then I had no idea what I’d do. The bottle in the car would be high on my list of priorities. Logically, if the kid was fine, I should have known that Alicia would have been okay – but my mind wasn’t working anywhere close to logically right now.
"She's… doing okay. She had appendicitis – it was nothing to do with the babies. Baby, I mean," he caught himself. "They’ve already taken out the appendix."
I felt like shit. I'd been wallowing in a grief that I should have put behind me almost a decade ago, while Alicia had been alone, in pain in the hospital. Hell, she'd been under the knife when I'd been considering downing a bottle of bourbon. She was way too good to me.
"What do you mean, she had surgery?" I asked.
"Keyhole surgery," he nodded, "not open. They didn't even put her under general anesthetic. She'll have the stitches out in a week."
"Can I see her?" I asked tentatively. I didn't know whether I deserved to, or whether she'd even want to see me, and I'd understand it if she said no.
"Go ahead," Mike said encouragingly, gesturing at the closed white door to Liss's private hospital room. "She's a bit sleepy."
"Mike – thank you," I said, gripping his hand powerfully. "I know it can't have been easy for you to come back here, to this place…" My voice broke. "Seriously, thank you for everything you've done."
"Don't worry about it," he smiled, "you'd do it for me. Now go and see your girl!"
My fingers closed around the door handle nervously, but I pushed through the worry and strode in. Mike seemed confident that Alicia wasn't about to end things with me, but I needed to see her at least one last time, just in case she did.
"Clay!" she exclaimed the moment I stepped inside. She looked beautiful. Even dressed in a hospital robe with a plastic tube coming out of the back of her right hand, she looked sexier to me than any other woman I'd ever seen in my life.
"Liss," I said breathlessly, "are you okay? Mike told me everything. Is the baby okay?"
"Come here, Clay." She smiled tiredly, gesturing towards me with her unentangled left hand. "I've got something to tell you."
My stomach was gripped with fear as my mind jumped to the worst-case option – she was a
bout to break up with me. I walked towards her with leaden feet, gulping.
"Why do you look so white?" she asked with concern. "You look like you've seen a ghost…"
"Just scared, I guess." I gulped.
"Sit down," she said, patting the bed beside her.
Hell, she'll even break up with me more kindly than any other girl in the world…
"Just tell me," I said, gritting my teeth for the worst.
"Okay," she agreed, shooting me a confused look. "Clay, you're going to be a daddy. Twice."
"Twice?" I echoed stupidly. "What do you mean, you're pregnant again?"
The moment I said it, I realized how stupid I sounded.
"No, silly – we're having twins!"
The news bowled me over. The way Alicia had discussed it with me, I'd thought I'd only ever have one child. I was okay with it – because I was having it with Alicia, and I couldn't imagine the beautiful woman recovering next to me not being in my life. I'd come to terms with it and resolved to give that kid the best damn life I could.
But this was incredible.
"Twins?" I said under my breath. "Liss, tell me you're not joking. You can't do this to me…"
She grinned. "I wouldn't. Clay, we are having twins!"
I leaned in and kissed her on the mouth, careful not to touch anywhere else on her body in case I hurt her. Alicia didn't have the same reservations; she hooked her arms around my back and pulled me in hard.
"Careful!" I said, briefly breaking away from the kiss for some air. "You'll hurt yourself."
She looked at me seriously. "Clay, you're being overprotective. It's my body and I think I’d know if I was hurting myself…"
"Sorry," I whispered, "I just couldn't bear it if something happened to you. Not after this."
"Clay, I'm fine." She grinned. "And you can't wrap me in cotton wool for the next seven months."
"I can try," I said defensively. "As far as I'm concerned, you should be!"
She rested her hand on mine. "How are you, Clay? I know coming back here must be hard…"
"You know?" I asked, looking at her eyes. I knew before she confirmed.
"I do," she nodded sadly. "I'm sorry, Clay – I really am."
"I'm sorry for running off today, Liss."
"You don't need to apologize—"
I stopped her. "I do. You need to know what kind of man I am, Liss. You know where I was before I got Mike's text?"
She shook her head.
"Sitting in the parking lot of this damn hospital staring at a bottle of bourbon. I was going to drink the whole damn thing—"
This time it was Liss’s turn to interrupt me. "Did you?"
"No, but—"
She cut me off again. "No buts, Clay. You’re a hell of a lot stronger than you think you are. You'd have stumbled in here three sheets to the wind if you weren't. So why didn't you?" she asked piercingly.
I lowered my eyes from hers, searching for the right answer. "Because of you," I said, the truth rising to the surface like cream. It was a simple answer, but it was also the correct one – not because it was what she wanted to hear, but because it came from my heart.
"See, Clay. That's what I mean – you're stronger than you think."
"I'm not—"
She shot me a hard look. "Are you really going to sit there and tell a pregnant woman she is wrong?"
I flushed. "I guess not." I rested my hand on my upper thigh, and the heel of my palm came in to contact with something hard in my pocket. My forehead creased as I tried to figure out what the tiny item was. When I did, I knew it was destiny. I reached into the pocket and extracted the necklace, hiding it in my hand so that Liss couldn't see a thing.
"Where are you going?" she asked as I slipped off the bed. I silenced her by placing one finger on my lips.
"Nowhere, if you'll have me," I said, slipping onto one knee. I'd never seen anything quite as adorable, or sexy, as the way Liss’s eyes widened as she realized what I was doing.
"Clay…" she whispered, her eyes alive with wonder.
"Alicia Hudson, you mean everything to me, and I want to be the best dad to our child – our children," I quickly corrected myself, "that I can. I want to give you all the best life I can, and I can't imagine ever being anywhere but by your side.
"Liss, will you marry me?"
I slowly opened my hand, revealing the simple gold band resting on my open palm, surrounded by loops of the delicate silver chain it was mounted on.
"Yes."
It was all she needed to say, and she said it without hesitation. "Of course I will," she said, a tear springing from her eye.
I unclasped the necklace and threaded the chain out. I took Liss’s soft chocolate hand in mine and slipped the gold ring onto her extended ring finger.
"Alicia Hunt," she said, grinning. "I like it. How long have you been carrying around that ring?"
"Not long," I said honestly, "but I've had it forever. It was Sarah's."
Her mouth formed into a little ‘O’ of wonder. "Clay, you shouldn't…"
"If you'd have met her," I said honestly, "she'd have loved you. And, Liss, you're the only person that ever managed to get me out of the deep hole of grief I've been buried in the last decade. She'd want you to have it."
Alicia's eyes were bright with tears. "Thank you, Clay," she whispered. "Do you think we could call our daughter Sarah, to remember her?"
I grinned rampantly. "I'm having a daughter?"
"Both." Alicia grinned. "I know how much you were looking forward to having a son, and I didn't want to disappoint you…"
I kissed her fiercely. "Believe me," I said honestly, "you never could."
Epilogue - Alicia
11 months later.
I'd never been the kind of girl who needed a man to make her deliriously happy, and I still wasn’t. I'd just… fallen into a man who made me feel that way. I was one of the lucky ones. Sure, Clay and I didn't have what I might class as a conventional relationship, but it worked for us. And sure, it got tiring from time to time to see our lives played out in the media, but that's what I got for wanting to be a superstar, I guess.
The compact plane’s powerful engines began to spool up, and I looked over at Clay with a smile. He was wearing glasses – which I found all kinds of sexy, but which had taken me months to convince him to wear. "That eyestrain's feeling better, huh?" I teased.
He fixed me with an unimpressed look, the kind of look that indicated he knew I was right but didn't want to admit it. "I really can't tell," he lied, "but if you think so, honey."
It was my turn to look at him disbelievingly. "You can't really be arguing with me about this, can you?"
He harrumphed. "Liss, how am I supposed to be an international superstar when you make me wear these stupid things? I'm supposed to be a damn sex icon, not a librarian!"
"But your eyes feel better, don't they?" I said tenaciously. It wasn't in my nature to back down from an argument – especially not one where I was clearly right."
"They wouldn't feel bad at all if you and Mike would stop teaming up on me and making me read all this crap," he grumbled, indicating the sheaves of paper covering the table between us.
"You said you wanted to be more involved!"
"Hmmm," he replied.
I bit down on a smile. The truth was, I was impressed at how hard-working and dedicated Clay had become over the past few months. He was a completely different man from the one I'd met – but only the bad aspects had changed. His work ethic, previously tenuous at best, was now unrivaled – and not just on the things he liked doing, either. I didn't need to get into this argument because he was already winning it through his actions.
I leaned back in my comfortable leather chair and cast my mind back over the past eleven months, thinking about everything that had changed my life – and there were a lot. In fact, if I'd stepped into a time machine a couple of years before to see my future, I wouldn't have believed my eyes. Not only had I had a kid – tw
o kids, for that matter – but I was an international superstar whose debut album had gone platinum.
The other thing I definitely wouldn't have believed was that giving birth to twins wasn't the hardest bit at all. No, the hardest bit was trying to organize a national tour when you had to be home by bedtime to tuck them in…
I had everything I had ever dreamed of, and more. Clay was a whole hell of a lot more than just more. He was the sexy, ripped, caring icing on the top of the tastiest cake I'd ever tried. And he was all mine.
Just thinking about him got me hot under the collar, and I started ticking the months off in my head. Sarah and Mike Junior had been born just under twelve weeks ago. It had been a whirlwind three-month period, because as soon as the kids were born, the new label started talking about a tour to capitalize on the success of our debut album.
I couldn't exactly say no because this was all I'd ever wanted, but it had taken quite a few conversations with the old white men in the boardroom before they completely understood the toll that childbirth took on a woman's body. Especially when you had to pop two of them out!
Luckily for me, Mike Junior's namesake was one hell of a negotiator, and we ended up getting everything we asked for – including the Gulfstream private plane we were sitting on. I felt a lot, lot less guilty about taking time away from the kids once Mike explained to me we could be on our own plane within half an hour of the concert, and home from anywhere in the country within two hours, three at the outside.
Still, even being away from the twins for a couple of hours this soon after I'd given birth to them was… a challenge. Especially as Clay and I hadn't exactly been able to be intimate for the past two or three months. Until, I decided, now.
I kicked off my heels and breathed a sigh of relief as my feet began to unclench. I'd never been much of a heels girl before, but when you had the world's best shoe companies clamoring to you to wear their products, it was hard to resist. I still wasn't completely accustomed to it, though.
