by Claire Adams
"I'm so sorry, babe," he whispered. He kissed me again. "None of that can touch you now."
"But they know," I protested.
"They are going to leave at some point and without proof, it's just a story from two wackos who wanted to start a rumor." I leaned my head against his shoulder.
"What if they won't leave me alone? When he said it, I remembered everything like I was there again."
"I'll take care of them," he said.
"How?" I asked, turning to look at him.
"Let me do this for you, Abby," he said, not answering my question. "Come on. You can't spend the whole day here. The sun is going to go down soon.”
"Just a little while longer?" I asked. We sat there twenty more minutes before he walked me to the car he came in and drove us back to the hotel.
He peeled my clothes off and put me in my bed when we got to my house. He made me tea and sat with me until I fell asleep, talking to me and letting me talk.
I wasn’t a freak when I was with him. My past didn’t exist. It had shaken me, what had happened but I needed this. He’d help me get over it.
Chapter Thirty-One
Nate
"What's been your worst experience with a guest here at the hotel?" I asked.
"Worst experience? The people who come here are usually pretty tame," Makani said. She and Abby were behind their desk. It was early, and they had just come in. Abby from my suite and Makani from her place – or Keno's place, if I had to guess, judging how happy the two of them had been since the night we had met at Abby's house.
She had been Abby's friend and the other front desk girl to me for most of the summer. I'd only ever been around her with Abby or talked about her with Keno, but since that night at Abby's, things had changed. The four of us had hung out a few more times and I had gotten to know Makani.
She was such an important person in Abby's life, it only made sense that I got to know her, too. That was where I was, doing shit because I knew it would be important to Abby. Getting to know her friends, her life, her plans – everything I could get her to tell me.
The thing about her dad... It still sort of surprised me whenever I remembered it. I knew there was still so much stuff I wanted to know about her and so much I didn't know, but some stuff you never expected to hear. Abby had seen some shit.
Since she had told me, I had looked the story up, really because I had just wanted to see whether it jogged my memory at all. I got about two articles deep before I stopped searching.
There was a lot of stuff, not just news stories. There were forums and threads discussing it, crime scene pictures, audio of the police negotiations with Abby's dad when he had her and her mother hostage. Sick shit like conspiracy theories about where Abby was now and what she was doing, the daughter of this monster who had killed a bunch of people.
It made me mad. I knew how people were. They weren't interested in the case and what had happened to Abby because she'd just been a kid when it had happened and they wanted to hear she was doing okay. They wanted to track her. They wanted to watch her because she was interesting to them now.
I had made a rule a long time ago that I would never, ever try to see what people were saying about me and the band. I avoided news and rumors about us because the opinions of thousands of people who knew nothing real about me meant jack shit.
It wasn't a compliment that people wanted to know what you were up to – it was stupid. It was empty because, at the end of the day, they got their shits and giggles at your expense and moved the fuck along. All you got was thousands of people judging you.
They were different, Abby's situation and mine, but there were enough similarities there to make me feel like I could relate. Being recognized had really fucked her up for a couple days. I couldn't imagine being that kid, having to watch your father murder your mother in front of you, and then try to murder you, too.
If she had turned out fucked up somehow, shit, no one would have blamed her. But she hadn't. She was the sweetest girl I knew and she didn't deserve any of that shit happening to her. Any of it.
She was doing a lot better now. Makani and I hadn't really left her alone much. She had made a couple more trips out to Polihua Beach and now seemed like she was back to her regular self again.
"You have to have some stories," I insisted.
"This is a five-star resort. We don't really get backpackers coming through with drugs and parties," Abby quipped.
"The worst debauchery in the world happens at places like this. What's worse than a creep with money?" I asked. They laughed.
"I don't really see it," Makani said, shrugging.
"Oh, you know who has the real horror stories? Housekeeping," Abby said.
"Oh yeah, the honeymooners?" Makani said.
"What about them?" I asked.
"What usually happens on a wedding night?" she said, smirking.
"Aolani, our friend who works housekeeping, told me she found the mother lode of sex toys in one couple's suite. They were everywhere with lube all over the linen and the furniture was all skewed. They didn't bother to hide anything. She didn't know what to do, so she just lined them all up on the bed like pillows," Abby said.
"This is like a real vacation spot, though, you know? Like there aren't enough strip clubs here to really see how fucked up people can get," I said.
"Discretion is important. You're kind of paying for it when you pay for the hotel," Makani said.
Didn't I know it? Everybody who had been in my suite knew I was an addict. They had to know. I hadn't taken that many steps to hide it. I threw used needles in the trash with everything else. I had left my kit lying out so often, anybody who had really wanted to know what was in there would have been welcome to take a look. I had gotten rid of everything. Even the bag I used to stash it all in, gone.
"Do you get old, married business guys who are here on vacation with women who are obviously not their wives?" I asked. The girls laughed.
"Ugh, it's so upsetting. You should see the guys we run into when we go out in the city. They can't keep their eyes off your girl here," Makani said. Abby smiled shyly. Any guy who could had to be blind.
"Next time, I should join you guys," I said.
"Why? You're looking for a little friendly competition?" Abby teased.
"There's no competition, babe; I already won," I said smirking. Makani laughed and Abby rolled her eyes, smiling.
I heard the door behind their desk open and looked up, seeing the manager walk through it. He looked at me and it seemed like something clicked in his head as he did. He glanced at the girls before walking around the desk to stand near me.
"Mr. Stone," he greeted me. "Everything is well, I hope?"
"Everything's great," I said.
"Do you have anything planned today?"
"Nothing really," I said, looking over at Abby.
"There is a luau tonight," she mentioned.
"About that," Joseph said, pausing. "Something happened. We're down two performers. That shaves almost twenty minutes off the event run time."
"How did that happen?" Abby asked.
"One canceled. The other had double booked. The point is they're not coming."
"Couldn't it just run shorter?" Makani asked.
"Ideally? Yeah, it could if I had found this out earlier. There is no way we would be able to get someone booked today for a performance tonight," he said.
"Would you have to cancel the luau?" Abby asked.
"I don't want it to come to that," he said, looking stressed.
Sounded rough. Running a hotel must have been a pretty shitty job, now that I thought about it. Maybe he liked it, there had to be people that did. He hadn't said anything after that. Had he come to make the announcement or had he actually wanted us to tell him what to do?
I looked at Abby and noticed her looking at me. Makani and Joseph were, too. They all were. I looked between each of their faces and realized what the fuck they wanted.
"No."<
br />
"Please, Nate," Abby said.
"No. I'm not doing a show."
"Nate, it's one of the last luaus of the season; we can't cancel it," she insisted.
"It would be a huge favor," Joseph said. I looked over at Abby who was looking up at me, making this face I wished she'd stop making. Her eyes were big and blue, and I didn't stand a chance.
"Don't look at me like that, Abby," I said.
"Please?" she asked coyly. Shit.
"This isn't fair," I sighed. I looked between the three of them again before nodding. The girls cheered. Joseph exhaled looking really relieved.
"Thank you, Nate. Of course, I don't expect you to do anything without compensation," he said. I didn't care about being compensated. I cared about not doing this shit in the first place because I didn't fucking want to.
I told him it was fine. He asked me to go with him to talk to the event coordinator about set up and what I would need for the performance. I couldn't believe I was doing this again.
I had done all this before already. When I had gotten myself in the last luau, I had had to come to Joseph and basically beg for a four-minute block to do my thing. That had been different, though. It had been four minutes and it had been for Abby because I was out of options to get her attention. This was almost twenty minutes. This was an entire set, and they thought I had enough to do it alone.
I ended up back at my suite when Joseph was done with me. As good a place as any. I mean, I had to practice now, I had a show.
Abby didn't come back up until her shift was over and the luau was just a couple hours away. During that time, I'd put together a set list, mostly things I had written on the island since the summer had begun and just one or two Remus throwbacks.
I wasn't worried about what I would play; I was worried about playing at all. Once Abby arrived, it was like she was enough of an audience to make me start freaking out about performing. The anxiety had been slowly building the whole day, but we were just a few hours out now and I had never in my life been this nervous to get on a stage.
I had always banked on my music as the one thing I was good at. Not today, though. I was shitting myself. She was sitting on my bed, waiting for me to get ready so we could leave.
"Babe?" I asked.
"Hmm?"
"Do you think Joseph would kick me out if I refused to do the performance?" I asked lightly, looking back at her from the closet.
"He would probably kick a few people out. Are you still nervous?"
"I haven't performed since I was with the band, Abby."
"What about the last time you sang, with the guitar?"
"That was different. I wasn’t performing, I was trying to get you back. That was one song, this is a set, and I am alone. I joined a fucking band in the first place so I wouldn't have to do that."
"You have this, Nate; you're a musical genius," she said.
"This can't be my first performance after leaving Remus. I can't choke the first time I get on a stage. Everyone who told me I was an idiot for leaving is going to be right."
"No, they aren't," she said, standing and walking up to me. "You're a fantastic musician. You don't have to prove that to anybody because there is no question. All you have to do is go up there and do what you can do with your eyes closed already."
"I can't do this, Abby," I sighed.
"Yes, you can. If you're nervous about the crowd, just watch me. Pretend it's just me out there."
I looked down at her. She really wanted me to do it. Part of me wanted to, as well, but I also didn't want to deal with fucking up.
Oddly, I believed her. I felt comforted by how much faith she had in the fact that I could do it. She believed in me. She was supporting me. So many people had no idea how important support was. It was literally the difference between me doing this shit and not. Having someone on your side who believed in you? That was fucking priceless.
"Doing it alone makes it feel like the band's really gone, you know? Like there was a chance we would get back together, but now that's gone."
"Maybe doing this tonight will help you decide whether being with your band is something you want in your life again, after all," she suggested. I shrugged. She had a point. We left the room together, early because I had to go get ready, and stayed together until I had to go backstage.
Everything I saw, heard, and felt blurred into one big cloud of background noise that was buzzing in the back of my head. I wasn't going first. The lineup had been shuffled around so that I was going second to last. At least I wasn't closing out the show, I thought.
This could have been worse. I hadn't really gotten many notes or restrictions as far as what they'd let me do. It just had to be acoustic because the backing band couldn't learn everything they needed in one day in order to back me up, which was fine. I wasn't nervous enough to have to take a shot of something first, but I was getting there.
When it came time for me to take the stage, the audience clapped me on pretty strong. Some of them might have remembered me from the first performance.
It was weird being the only one, at least I was doing something familiar: playing. I started easy, with something I had played to death already: the first song I ever wrote for Remus. It was about the only thing I could write about when I was that young: my mom.
Being behind the piano was easy for me. My hands knew what to play. I'd sung the words so many times there was no way I'd forget them. The crowd wasn't lit like the stage, and we weren't inside so there were no house lights. I couldn't see Abby any of the times I looked out into the crowd for her. I knew she was there, it wasn't that. I just wanted to see her. I wanted to watch her again when I sang the song I had written for her.
The crowd went wild when I was finished. I nodded and waved. This was never the reason I had gotten into music, but I wasn't going to lie, it felt good to get immediate feedback like that from an audience about your music. The nerves had died at some point between the first and second songs and now I just wanted to see what Abby thought.
I went backstage, walking down the steps. Abby's beaming face was looking up at me. I smiled seeing her. So that was why I hadn't seen her in the crowd.
"Did you watch the set?"
"You were amazing," she said. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me. We were together most of the time, but I didn't know whether anyone really knew we were together, besides Makani and Keno. A few people came up to say they liked the performance and shake my hand.
I hadn't realized it before, but I had sort of missed performing. I liked this feeling. Not being in a huge stadium, performing for thousands of people, but something like this where everyone could see the stage and if they wanted to, could come talk to you after. I heard someone call my name and saw Joseph walking over to us.
"Another fantastic show," he said, grinning.
"Thanks. It’s a great crowd you guys have here," I said. I didn't know whether or not I should have taken my arms off of Abby. If it was a problem, I didn't want to be the reason why she got in trouble.
"If you're ever looking for a job, you're welcome to perform, whenever you want." I laughed a little.
"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind," I said.
"Will you really?" Abby asked looking up at me. I winked at her, smiling. The more I thought about it, the more it sounded like a great idea.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Abby
It was getting hard to name things that I enjoyed more than waking up next to Nate.
I had never felt like such a chick in all my life. Nobody had ever made me feel so happy about being close to them. This was different from regular friendship. Nate was someone I was beginning to doubt that I could live without. I was doing my best not to think about the end that was coming, whether or not we wanted it, and it was getting easier.
Taking it a day at a time, concentrating on what we were doing and not wondering when it was going to end was the only thing I could do. Stopping this again was completely off
the table. I wasn't going to be the reason why our days together were cut shorter than they had to be.
I was going to treat this like what I felt it was: a new relationship that had completely changed my life. I was going to let myself be excited and happy because, damn it, I was.
I loved his company. I loved doing things with him and if I was spending all my time with him wondering when it was that I would have to be without him, then neither of us were going to have a good time.
I balanced the tray of food I had brought up from downstairs precariously against one hip as I opened his door. I could have called to have the food brought up, but I still had a job I had to report for daily.
Every day I got to spend with Nate was like an unofficial day off. I knew most of the reason why was because Joseph was so sweet on him, but I was taking full advantage of that. Anything that let me spend as much time with him as possible was a good thing as far as I was concerned.
I walked into the suite and took the tray with me to the bedroom instead of leaving it in the dining area. Who didn't love breakfast in bed? He was still asleep. He had gotten better about getting up earlier now, but I was still up before he was nine times out of ten. He was asleep on his stomach, and I knew underneath the covers he was naked, the way I had been when I had been under there with him.
He was so gorgeous, sometimes I found myself staring. How many people wished they had this view every morning? I could have watched him longer, but we had things to do. We were going snorkeling. All this time on the island, and he still hadn't gone.
I pulled the drapes open and got his swimsuit and a t-shirt out, then came back to the bed jumping onto it. I yanked the covers off his sleeping body.
"Nate... Nate... Nate?"
"Huh?" he grunted, waking up.
"Wake up, it's morning," I said excitedly. He opened his eyes and squinted up at me.
"What time is it?"
"Time to eat; I brought you breakfast," I said, swatting his ass. I crawled over his body to get the tray. "Drink this before it gets cold," I told him, holding the cup of coffee out to him. He rolled over so he was sitting and took the cup.
