“You aren’t serious,” I say, but he only quirks a brow and slides his hand under mine, helping me move and shape the flame there.
“Why wouldn’t I be serious?” he asks quietly.
“Because there’s no competition,” I say honestly. “I left the man I was supposed to marry. And he’s not someone who will just let that go. He won’t let me go.”
“You’re not property.”
“I am according to the man who bought me. And my father who sold me. And to the rest of the people in power who perpetuate that custom.”
“You left.”
“I did. But I still have to exist in that world. I still have to find a place to settle into when I can leave here, and I will live under the same laws and rules that say that my life is only as valuable as the man I serve.”
He studies me for a moment and then moves fully behind me. His chest presses right up against my back and he slides both arms under mine, forming my hands to his. We massage the thrashing flame, pulling it apart so that I grip some in each hand. My pulse is hammering and my magic purrs everywhere Dederic’s body touches mine.
“In our world, females are in charge of their own lives. We all serve our pride and our king, but every male is brought up to respect and cherish our females. It’s an honor to provide for them. Protect them. Bring them pleasure. It’s what we’re built for.” His voice tickles across my skin, and I try and change the subject again.
“Ademar said males are the only ones who can breathe fire. And that your skin is like armor - you can’t be killed.” He is still pressed behind me. I can’t see his expression, but he leans his face down next to my ear and continues talking softy.
“That’s true, we are very difficult to defeat in battle.”
“But females are too vulnerable to be warriors?” I use the adrenaline spiking in my blood to channel my magic out and away from my hands. Dederic’s body goes still as we watch the fire grow and spread into a large halo in the sand, circling and trapping us inside.
“Females can be whatever they wish to be,” he murmurs. I turn slowly to face him, so we’re inches apart. “There are legendary female warriors written into our histories. They are rulers. Mothers. Builders. Artists. Engineers. Hunters.”
“So, if I was a female Dragon, and I came to you and said, ‘I want to be a warrior’, you’d let me?” I ask, and he smiles at that.
“If you wanted to train as a soldier you would be free to do so. You would start from the bottom and be expected to work and drill like every other soldier ̶ and I don’t think you’d like me very much after a few weeks of conditioning. But yes.”
I swallow and try and wrap my head around the concept of a city that takes care of its people like that; that gives value to each person living in it. I want to bring this back to Illburn. I want to pull them out from under my father’s thumb and bring back hope, and trust, and honesty.
“As a human, if you lived here you would have the same opportunity,” he murmurs, and my gaze flicks up to his. “You could find something that brings you fulfillment and spend your days doing that; contributing as you are able. You would serve our king and our city, but you would be free to do as you please, live as you please; take a lover or a mate as you wish.” My cheeks heat and his rough voice sends small pulses of heat low in my belly. I shake my head.
“He won’t let me go.” I breathe the words like a shield between us, but he slices them away.
“You already left.”
“I have a price on my head. And I seem to set things on fire when I’m very upset,” I murmur, but he only chuckles.
“While the fact that you can wield flame is incredibly interesting and impressive, it’s not exactly a deterrent for anyone here. Dragon’s don’t fear fire. More than anything, you’ve lit the signal now for all those men who saw your strength in that arena.” His voice is rough-edged and deep.
I think back to the faces of the soldiers in the training arena that morning. The hunger and the heat. I wonder if Dederic is merely impressed as well or if I stir awareness and desire in him.
“We’re not human. We don’t have the same rules or customs that you do, especially regarding things like purity or marriage. Everyone up there wants the attention of a beautiful female ̶ and you are extremely beautiful. Add to that your strong heart and the fire singing in your veins. Males would rip each other apart to gain your notice.”
“I don’t like violence like that,” I say quietly, and his cheeks dimple around a crooked smile.
“Good to know. Although you could have fooled me with how quick you were to pick up a sword and challenge me. That was unexpected.” There is laugher in his voice, and I can’t help but feel relief that his light and teasing tone is back.
“My arm is still sore from swinging that thing.” I smile. The fire surrounding us flickers and sways.
“You need to work on your form,” he says.
“I think I’ll leave the fighting and the gore to you.” I shake my head.
“Well. If you change your mind, we could add it to your training here. You’re dressed for battle, after all.”
“I rather like the pants. And the shirt. Perhaps I will fly under the radar easier at the castle without the bright colors and low-cut gowns.” Dederic shakes his head.
“You’re lovely in anything you wear. Other assets are on display right now anyways, so half will prefer the gowns and half will much prefer this look.” I reach out and pinch his arm. He laughs and backs away to the edge of the circle.
“Let’s see if you can push the circle wider. Then we’ll try and grow the flame itself.”
I pause and study him for a moment. The sun is sinking low in the sky, and with the firelight dancing across his skin, he looks like some kind of ancient God of Light. His face is relaxed and handsome; that strong, square jaw framing a smile instead of a grimace. His chest is wide, and his arms are solid and muscular. My mouth goes dry and my mind goes fuzzy.
“Which look do you prefer?” I say and have to force myself not to slap my hand over my own mouth.
Dederic meets my eyes and the smile that lights his face now is downright wicked. My skin prickles and my nipples harden and scrape against the soft material of the shirt. His eyes flick down for a split second, and I fight the urge to cover my chest and draw more attention to my own heightened arousal.
“Practice growing the circle, and maybe I’ll tell you.” His eyes glitter with heat and promise and he backs up slowly. He steps back out of the circle, flame licking up over the exposed skin of his hands, his neck and face.
For an instant, my breath catches, but he doesn’t react at all. He watches me calmly, waiting for me to continue my practice. It hits me then how real his power really is. He’s a Dragon. Fire doesn’t burn him. Weapons won’t kill him.
I realize that I might be in over my head. Whatever draw he has, whatever power over my body’s reactions; I have no idea what I’m doing. Dragons might not care about remaining virtuous before marriage, but it’s my reality. Beyond flirty smiles and witty banter, I have no idea how to maneuver around asking for what I want ̶ or even what that is. I’m only here temporarily and I need to stay as neutral as possible. I already left one powerful man on bad terms; I absolutely cannot afford another.
Dederic raises a questioning brow from outside of the circle. He crosses his arms over his chest and my eyes follow the way his shirt pulls across his chiseled torso. I shake my head to clear it and try and focus on my magic. I focus on the fire and training and pushing all thoughts of Dederic’s muscled body pressed against me out of my mind.
Oath
Another three weeks go by and I settle into a comfortable and happy routine. Early mornings, I share coffee with Eira and breakfast in the great hall, followed by working with Cecily in the garden. Occasionally I will help Alina in the armory or even Ademar in the library, but I find that my offers of assistance are always met with gratitude and acceptance.
Afternoons I hav
e to myself and am free to read or walk or join a card game or listen to the men play music.
In the evenings, Dederic flies us down to the beach and I practice using my magic. And aside from that first night, when we are finished, he walks me to my room and sets a fire for me before he leaves.
Our conversations are easy and comfortable, but they never veer towards the same heated topics as that first night of my training.
The butterflies and overwhelming awareness of him don’t fade in the slightest, but he doesn’t broach the subject of my remaining in Ruarden again. There is no more gentle baiting with comments about my beauty or our attraction; he stays polite and friendly and that is it.
This morning is spent as usual. Cecily had me spend most of the day weeding a few of the larger plots, and I’m sweaty and sore from working hunched over. I had just entered the shed to rinse my hands and hang up my work apron and tools when the doorway darkens behind me. I glance over my shoulder and am surprised to see Dederic standing there.
“Hello. Cecily is still out along the east wall, I think. She was having Garit and Elias work on repairing some of the irrigation equipment,” I tell him as I rinse and dry my soil-caked hands.
“I was looking for you, actually.”
Surprise causes me to swing my gaze back around to him and apprehension knots in my stomach. His face is unreadable and shadowed with the bright sun behind him.
“Is everything alright? Did something happen?” I ask and exit the shed to stand in front of him.
“Everything is fine,” he says and gives his head a small shake, running a hand over his jaw.
He takes a deep breath, appearing to want to say more. I wait, but he doesn’t meet my gaze, flexing his jaw and keeping his mouth shut.
“What’s going on?” I ask, my palms going clammy with dread.
“You have been requested in the throne room. Sarvos wants to speak with you.” His voice is rough and low.
My mind races with what the Dragon king would need to speak with me about. Perhaps he has learned of my time spent on the beach working with my magic with his commander? Perhaps he does not approve.
“Do you know what about?” I ask, and Dederic nods slowly.
“It’s been well over a month. Human activity in the area has remained normal and unchanged. Even the scouts we have sent farther out have reported very little of interest.”
“That’s good, right?” I ask, furrowing my brow.
Dederic nods slowly and hardens his stance before responding.
“It is. I let him know that things appear stable and safe ̶ should you desire to leave Ruarden.”
My body jerks in shock at that.
I had asked occasionally about my status as a guest here, if there had been any news or any cause for concern. The longer time ticked on, the more I had assumed that perhaps Dederic was prolonging my stay here intentionally.
And I had been okay with that.
I had been okay with living in the open air, working where I found enjoyment, and building relationships with the people here. I wanted more time developing my magic ̶ and I wanted more time with him.
“Seda?” Dederic’s voice snaps me out of my trance, and I realize that he’s waiting for a response.
“Right. Yes. Do I have time to change?” I ask quietly and start moving through the courtyard, not quite able to meet his gaze.
He grabs my arm and stops me, turning me gently to face him. Something pained flickers in his eyes but he keeps his face smooth and emotionless.
“He’s asked for you immediately.”
“Oh,” I breathe, trying to calm the rising panic in my chest at the realization that I could wake up outside of these walls tomorrow, away from so much of what I have come to love here.
Dederic rests a reassuring hand on my back, but I shake him off quickly and forge on ahead towards the throne room. He marches silently behind me until we reach the beautiful, marble entrance.
A small group of uniformed soldiers huddle outside the door, snapping to attention at our arrival.
“Why are you lined up out here?” Dederic growls as we climb the steps towards the gilded doors.
A larger man outfitted in the gold armor that marks him a part of the king’s detail offers a salute and small bow of his head before answering.
“The king bid that we wait outside, sir,” he answers succinctly.
I glance between them and note that the concern in his eye is mirrored in Dederic’s furrowed brow.
“Who’s attending to him?” he growls impatiently.
“No one, sir. He asked to be alone,” the other man answers.
An uncomfortable flush heats his cheeks and he clears his throat, glancing at the white stone floor. The rest of the guard appears just as upset at being sent to wait outside.
Dederic sucks his teeth before grumbling something low under his breath.
“Open the doors and do as you were bid. We’ll only be a moment,” he says.
The two doormen jump into action and pull the large doors open, allowing us inside the cavernous room.
Just as they described, Sarvos is sitting alone on the dais. Not a single other guard or attendant appears to be occupying the room, and our footsteps reverberate in the yawning, empty space.
When we reach him, I drop into a deep curtsy at the foot of the dais, aware of my dirty and disheveled state inside of this glamorously formal room. Dederic comes up beside me and kneels before the king, bowing his head low and offering a heartfelt greeting.
“My king,” he murmurs and presses a fist to his chest in salute.
“You may leave us, brother,” Sarvos says calmly, a single nod of his head the only acknowledgment that Dederic had spoken at all.
My companion rises smoothly and his face falls in confusion. Green eyes glance back towards me and he begins to speak, but Sarvos cuts him off sharply.
“As I’m sure you were informed upon your arrival, I have requested privacy this afternoon.”
Dederic dips his head in respect and nods.
“My king, I only wi-”
“I will speak with our young guest alone, Commander. You are welcome to wait outside with the others,” Sarvos says.
The soft voice is laced with the kind of authority that decades of practice have perfected. Even in the face of this imposing man next to me, the king’s command brooks no argument.
He unfolds his spindly hands from his lap and indicates a small, gold stool that has been placed next to him.
I let loose a long breath and don’t bother looking at Dederic as I climb the steps and sit carefully where I am bid, arranging my dirt-streaked skirts around me as best I can.
“My king,” the second in command murmurs as he bows again and backs away from the dais.
I fight the urge to turn my head and watch him leave.
Sarvos keeps his pale eyes glued to mine until the sound of the large front doors sealing shut reaches our ears.
“I apologize if I have alarmed you. I only wanted to ensure that you felt as though you could speak freely here today,” he whispers.
“I’m grateful, Your Majesty. And honored to meet with you,” I reply carefully.
“The last time we spoke, I know that you had some reservations about our accommodations here. Have you found Ruarden to be acceptable during your stay?”
“Your home is lovely, and I have made use of my time here ̶ learning about some histories that are unavailable in the human cities and making myself familiar with your people and your customs.”
The ancient man’s mouth tugs up at the corners in what I assume is as close as he can come to a smile.
“I’m exceptionally pleased to hear that. And you should be pleased to learn that Dederic has reported no concerning activity outside of our lands that would make it difficult for you to proceed along your journey,” he replies.
“That’s good news for everyone involved, it seems,” I murmur, and Sarvos nods solemnly.
“Indeed
. When you are ready, we will see that you are escorted safely back to the human lands and as close to your destination as possible.”
I swallow hard and chew on my bottom lip while I process his words. Sarvos tilts his head and watches me carefully.
I left Illburn assuming that I would have to struggle and scrap for any ounce of comfort that I could find moving forward ̶ and I had come to terms with that fact. But I found this place, and I have seen with my own eyes what is possible. Dragons are not our enemy. They are fierce, loyal, protective creatures who work hard for their pride and to protect the piece of happiness that they have forged. I have lived here for over a month, in this place where all people are valued, and hope is not lost - and my heart aches at the thought of leaving.
“Thank you, Your Majesty,” I murmur and fidget nervously with my hands.
“Is that not acceptable, child?” Sarvos asks.
I inhale a shaky breath.
This is it.
Am I brave enough to ask for what I want and forge a new path for myself?
Dederic was willing to send me back so easily, and the reality of that stings, but regardless of what he wants or what his feelings for me are, what I want will not be found if I leave here.
“Is that my only option?” I ask and meet the king’s pale, watery gaze.
“Is what your only option, young one?” he murmurs and narrows his eyes on me.
“Leaving. Is leaving Ruarden my only option?”
“What did you have in mind?” Sarvos asks.
“I would like to stay, if you’ll have me,” I say, hating the nervous tremor in my voice.
“Do you mean that you would like to extend your stay as a guest until proper arrangements are made elsewhere?”
I shake my head.
“I would like to stay. To live here and labor and be a part of the city. I know it is a lot to ask-”
“It is a very big decision to make for someone so young. And someone so new to our world,” he whispers, twining his long fingers together in his lap.
I nod in defeat and press my eyes closed. I knew that it was possible that he would say no, especially with having just abandoned Illburn a month ago, but the rejection still burns in my chest.
Song of Smoke: A Dragon Shifter Romance (The King's Series Book 1) Page 12
