“Sorry,” he murmurs.
I brush it off and keep my eyes forward, watching the revelers enjoying the music.
After a while, he holds out a hand towards me. My eyes trace up his long fingers and through the maze of intricate markings covering his wrists and forearms.
“Dance with me,” he whispers in my ear as he slides his other hand across the small of my back, sweeping a finger along the thin material of my dress. My skin prickles, and a shiver runs down my spine.
I turn my face towards his and catch him as he scans the daring cut of my dress and the skin that is exposed across my back and chest. I keep my eyes fixed on his face until his gaze returns to mine. He doesn’t appear embarrassed in the slightest to have been caught staring. Instead, he leans in close enough that his lips brush my ear and he offers for me again.
“Dance with me,” he says.
My heart pounds and my mouth waters at the feel of his breath across my skin. In this moment, I don’t care that he was willing to let me go. I don’t care that my feelings may not be reciprocated. I don’t care that he has avoided me all night. I just want him.
“Yes,” I whisper.
Dederic smiles wide and wicked and his eyes turn dark as he stands and offers his hand again. I slide my palm over his and he wraps his fingers around it tightly.
“Good.”
Fight
Dederic falls into the music as easily as breathing. I’m completely hypnotized as he presses my body to his and guides me through each step in the dance. The sweltering heat of the room combined with the wine-induced fog and frantic melody - all of it has me feeling like I’m floating in a wild dream.
I spin and twirl and stretch my arms up over my head while Eira sings loudly and matches the movements over to my left. Another male sidles up to us and tries to cut in, but Dederic holds out an arm to stop him. He shakes his head no, and the interloper slides back away.
I lift a questioning brow and he returns the expression.
“This is my dance,” he murmurs in my ear.
I smile and press my palm flat against the firm plane of his chest, sending a shower of sparks sliding under his skin. A low sound of pleasure vibrates through him, and I grow bold, inching my hand lower until my fingers brush across the ridged muscle of his abdomen.
My heart pounds and I forget what the rest of my body is supposed to be doing ̶ all my focus is caught up in the feel of Dederic’s body beneath my hand. I glance up at him under my lashes and find his eyes dark and glinting with desire that matches my own.
I begin to pull away, suddenly overcome with self-doubt, but his hand snaps up and clamps around my wrist. My mouth drops open slightly as he moves my hand across his body, introducing me to the feel of his waist, his arms, his shoulders. I take back control and rake my nails lightly over his back, eliciting another growl of enjoyment.
One of his hands slides into my hair, tangling his fingers at the base of my scalp and pulling my head back so that our eyes meet. That small spark of need has exploded into a full-fledged inferno. I wet my lips, and he watches in that strange, predatory way of his.
Before I can take another breath, he leans down and claims my mouth, sending jolts of pleasure zinging through my body and pulsing between my thighs. The slide of his lips over mine is the singular most erotic thing I have ever experienced. I gasp in surprise and melt into his hold, enjoying the feel of him and the commanding way he takes control of our kiss.
One of his arms goes around my waist, keeping us locked tightly together as he nudges his thigh between my legs. He moves us back in time with the music, and I am completely cradled by the noise of the room, his body and his kiss. Every subtle movement of our dance creates glorious friction between my legs that leaves me slick and panting with want.
He kisses a path along my jaw, moving from my ear to my chin and sending my heart racing. I tilt my head to the side, offering more of my throat to him in a silent plea. Dederic obliges and presses hot kisses and gentle nips with his teeth along the fluttering pulse in my neck.
I moan breathlessly, and he pulls gently on my hair, forcing my head back and my eyes to his; dark and feral in their intensity. The music changes to a deep, thudding beat that seems to mimic the lust raging through me.
“Open for me,” he murmurs.
I do and moan as his hot tongue sweeps into my mouth. Sparks of amazement and pleasure sing through my body at every point of contact, and I caress his tongue with my own. Fire races through my veins and I send sparks of heat through his skin. They clash and dance with the brilliant red fire in his own blood.
I can’t stop.
I’m completely addicted to the feel of his body and the smell of his skin ̶ like a starving animal that cannot slow the crazed frenzy once she sinks her teeth into something filling.
I need more.
I can’t let go.
Something clatters loudly to the floor in the distance, and for a moment, the spell is broken. I suddenly remember who and where I am. In the middle of a dining room. Surrounded by people who are focused on welcoming me into their home.
I jerk out of Dederic’s arms and press both of my hands over my mouth. Shock and embarrassment send heat rushing to my face and I stumble a bit as I take another step away.
Concern furrows his brow, and he slides a hand across my cheek, his other one reaching around my back to pull me towards him again.
I push his arms away and he narrows his eyes in confusion.
“Stop. We have to stop this. We can’t do this here,” I mutter and continue adjusting my clothes, backing away.
“Then let’s go somewhere else,” he says, completely serious and completely missing my point.
I pull my face away and shake my head.
“That’s not-” I squeeze my eyes shut at the way my voice breaks and try to suck in a steadying breath.
His hand slides behind my neck and he holds me tight, not letting me escape this time.
“Shhh, little fire. What’s wrong?”
People move all around us as the song comes to an end. I shake my head helplessly and glance around. A pair of knowing brown eyes meets mine across the hall. Terick smirks and lifts a brow before offering a small wave and sliding out into a hallway.
“We need to talk. In private,” I say.
Dederic nods and takes my hand.
“Come,” he says and leads me to an exit at the opposite end of the room.
We wind through a short hallway and up a flight of stairs before entering a large, comfortably furnished bedroom. I take in the walls of books and artwork and massive bed on one side. There is a small sitting area with comfortable-looking chairs and a worn-looking desk in one corner. A window so large that it spans floor to ceiling is built into the far wall and there is a separate, private bath and large closet off to one side.
“Is this yours?” I ask quietly and run my fingers across the spines of the books that are displayed next to the fireplace.
He doesn't react, only continues watching me quietly as I move through the room.
“It suits you,” I murmur.
“What did you want to talk about?” he finally asks.
He leans against the fireplace and crosses his enormous arms over his chest as he watches me. I sigh and steel myself to say what I need to say.
“What happened back there - the kissing and… touching in public. It can’t happen again,” I manage to sputter. I don’t think I’ve ever been as mortified as I am right now, at having to have this conversation out loud with a man.
“Why not? I, for one, was thoroughly enjoying the kissing. And the touching,” he teases.
I tilt my head in annoyance.
“I’m serious,” I growl.
“So am I.”
“Dederic. Imagine what people are saying right now. I can’t- I just-” I throw my palms over my eyes and moan in embarrassment.
“You’re overthinking this,” he says, moving towards me and pulling my hands away
from my face.
“No, I’m not. They’re going to think that we’re involved,” I mutter and try and tug my hands free, but he holds firm.
“Ah. You don’t want to be associated with me? You find me repulsive?” he asks.
That teasing glint sparkles in his eye, and I sigh in exasperation.
“This isn’t funny,” I hiss.
“It’s a little funny.” He smiles.
“This is my first night really belonging here. I don’t want people to think badly of me. We’re not married or mates, and the way we were…” I trail off and his smile turns wicked.
“…Kissing. It looks like I’m your whore. It’s awful!” I moan.
His smile falls away and his jaw goes tight.
“Listen to me, human. No one in this castle would shame or judge you for enjoying yourself. We are Dragon. Our views on these things are much, much different, and even if people did assume that we were involved, it’s a non-issue for you to take a lover. Dragon females do it all the time.”
“But I’m not a Dragon,” I push back.
“No. You’re not. You’re a human who walked into an assembly today and asked to live among us. You took charge of your own fate like one of us. Wore this dress-” He slides his finger over the delicate purple material, and I slap his hand away.
“You left your human city,” he continues forcefully. “So why are you still concerning yourself with human rules?” His eyes are hard, and there is an undercurrent of frustration in his voice.
“Why are you concerning yourself with what I do or don’t do?” I hiss. “You told Sarvos there was no need for me to remain here. You practically pushed me out the door!”
“I gave him the facts of the situation,” he snaps.
“And you walked me in there fully prepared to watch me leave!”
“Would it make you feel better with your choices to pretend you are trapped and sealed in this castle like you were in your human city?”
My mouth drops open and his words hit me like a slap to the face.
“It would make me feel better to know why you’re throwing yourself at me one moment and showing me the exit the next!”
“I never wanted you gone, I wanted you to have a choice!” he growls. “I’m not your jailer and I’m not going to keep you prisoner here. I’m not going to chain you up. I’m not going to take your choices from you. I’m not going to use or manipulate you. I’m not going to put restrictions on what you can and cannot do.”
Tears prick my eyes, but I hold them forcefully back.
His face softens at my expression and the anger and the fight seem to drain from him instantly. He reaches an arm around my waist and strokes a gentle hand over my back, ignoring my murderous expression.
I send a surge of angry, hot fire ripping through his skin, but he doesn’t flinch. His magic blankets mine, and I watch his eyes flicker, as if he can feel my frustration and fear and sadness wrapped in that spark.
“You think it wouldn’t have broken my heart if you left?” he asks gently. “I always hoped that you would stay, but you were right ̶ it was never my choice to make.”
“I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know what you wanted anymore,” I say, and he sighs.
“Stop worrying about what I want. It doesn’t matter what I want, or they want, or what they think.” His voice is low and rough as he leans in towards me.
“Of course it matters,” I say.
“The only thing that matters is that you do what is best for you. I told you before that if you lived here, men would clamor for your attention. They will want to serve you. Fight for you. Pleasure you. They will want the honor of being your mate. It’s normal for females to take a lover and be affectionate in front of others. It’s not uncommon for a female to have more than one male that she is involved with at the same time.”
“And you wouldn’t mind that?” I ask.
“Mind what?”
“If I took a lover. Or two. Or three. You wouldn’t mind if tomorrow night I found myself in someone else’s arms? Kissing them in the great hall?” I ask boldly.
Dederic’s jaw clenches but his voice remains relaxed.
“If you wanted another male out there… I wouldn’t want to take any happiness from you.” His hand finds its way back to the base of my scalp as he gently tangles his fingers in my hair. He holds me possessively as he gazes down into my eyes and speaks.
“But if my fire calls to yours - if you burn for me like I do for you… I would want you to myself. My Dragon is territorial. Possessive. We want all of you. Every smile. Every laugh. Every inch of skin and kiss of your magic.”
My breathing hitches and my eyes close as his breath shivers across my skin. He presses a single, fierce kiss to my lips, and suddenly releases me. He steps away, leaving me clinging to his arms and fighting for my legs to start working again and keep me upright.
“Think about what you want. You have as much time as you need.” He cups my cheek and plants one more swift, gentle kiss on my mouth.
I am wordless and confused as he opens the door and summons one of the young soldiers on duty to escort me back to my room. I glance back at him multiple times as I walk, and he stays planted in the doorway watching me carefully until I’m fully out of sight.
I thank the young man and slide into my room, practically melting into a puddle of desire, confusion, and anxiety right in the middle of the floor. My lips are chafed and swollen from his kisses. My skin feels sensitive and tingly.
Most of all, my mind races with revelations from the night. Dederic told me to take my time and think about what I want. The problem, however, is that I know exactly what I want ̶ I just need to find the courage to ask for it.
Stray
“I’m terrible at this,” I say, and send another cloud of flour floating through the air as I punch my dough down. Eira snorts with laughter and nods.
“I’m sorry to say it, but you really are.” She shakes her head, and I exhale heavily in frustration.
“How much water did you add?” Lily asks gently and continues kneading her own dough.
“I have no idea. It was too sticky, so I added more flour and now it’s falling apart.”
“Let me take a look,” Lily says and moves to stand beside me.
Ismeina woke with pain in her back and was instructed to stay off her feet today, so Eira and Lily enlisted my help to prepare the bread for the afternoon ̶ though I appear to be more of a hindrance than a help.
The day after the assembly was slow and stiff for everyone in the castle. Men were nursing headaches and none of the other women were up before noon after the drinking and dancing. I avoided Dederic completely and laid low in the library for most of the day with Ademar.
I wanted to try and make him understand that I was drawn to him as well, but that I had also been brought up to believe that women who gave in to physical pleasures - especially outside of marriage - were weak and easily discarded.
I wanted him to understand that it would be hard for me to move past that and be comfortable with a public relationship of any kind, especially the kind of casual association that he seemed to be proposing.
However, the more I avoided him, the more anxious and conflicted I became. So, when Eira invited me to come and work in the kitchens, I jumped at the chance for a welcome distraction.
Lily checks my work and sprinkles a bit of oil and some water onto the crumbly mound. Her small hands knead it expertly until life begins returning to the sorry little pile.
“I’m so sorry,” I mutter. Eira and Lily both brush it off and offer reassurance.
“It’s a matter of practice. You’re doing great.” Lily smiles. “We’re ahead of schedule anyways.”
“Why don’t you work on punching these down and we’ll put them back in to prove again.” Eira directs me to where the earlier loaves have been rising in the drawer near the oven.
“That sounds much more my speed,” I say and begin punching and kneading
the soft, elastic dough.
We work for a while longer, alternating between comfortable quiet and easy conversation. Lily is sweet and soft spoken and is a good balance for Eira’s more spirited personality.
“Good morning, ladies,” a friendly voice greets from the doorway.
I look up into the handsome brown eyes of Terick and can’t help the involuntary smile that spreads across my face.
“Well, if it isn’t Mr. Charming himself,” Eira teases lightly, and he rewards her with a flirtatious wink.
“You’re all looking especially lovely today,” he says sincerely, and Eira snorts in amusement.
I look across at all three of us, covered in flour and pieces of dried dough, hair piled into messy knots, and smile at his obvious lie.
“Well if I wasn’t suspicious before, I certainly am now,” I say, and Terick claps a hand over his heart in mock offense.
“I’m being absolutely genuine. I love an excuse to lean in and wipe off a bit of flour from a beautiful woman,” he says, and Eira and I smile and roll our eyes.
“What did you need, dear?” Lily asks, and he comes more fully into the room.
“I was just on my way out and came in to see if I could swipe a bite to eat.”
“Of course, I don’t think Ismeina would mind. Is it just you or are you wanting enough for a few others as well?” Lily asks and moves to the pantry.
“Dederic has a group of us going with him to the east to look into some movement they saw on patrol last night,” he says.
My head jerks up at the mention of his name before trying quickly to appear uninterested.
“Humans?” Eira asks, and she pauses what she’s doing, a bit of the color draining from her face. Terick notices as well and quickly shakes his head to reassure her.
“Nothing like that.”
“Here.” Lily fills a pack with soft rolls, fruit and cheese from the morning. “Hopefully there’s enough for everyone. How many of you are going?”
Song of Smoke: A Dragon Shifter Romance (The King's Series Book 1) Page 14
