I nodded.
‘Harriet,’ Mr Chase called. ‘Sophie’s here!’ He turned back to me. ‘She’s in her bedroom. Why don’t you go on up.’
I hurried up the staircase just as Harriet opened her bedroom door. ‘Sophie!’ she said, looking surprised. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘I had to see you,’ I said. ‘Did you really mean what you said about the quiz team?’
Harriet’s face tensed. ‘Yes.’
‘But why?’ I said, going into her bedroom. ‘You’ve been wanting to do it so much.’
‘I don’t want to talk about it,’ Harriet said, walking over to her window and staring out.
‘It’s because of Kelly and the others, isn’t it?’ I said. I didn’t wait for her to answer. ‘Harriet, you can’t turn down the quiz team because of them. They’re not worth it. What does it matter what they think?’
Harriet whirled round. ‘That’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one being picked on, Sophie!’
I was taken aback. Harriet never loses her temper. ‘But…’
‘Don’t!’ Harriet exclaimed furiously. ‘Don’t tell me to ignore them.’
I didn’t know what to say.
‘You don’t know what it’s like,’ she went on. ‘You can’t possibly understand. How can you? You do everything right. You’re popular. You know what to wear. People like you…’
‘People like you too,’ I interrupted.
‘They call me a swot and teacher’s pet!’
‘Only Kelly and her friends,’ I said. ‘Harriet, this is dumb. You can’t change yourself because of what they think. You’ve just got to be yourself.’
‘Me? What about you?’ Harriet cried.
‘What?’ I frowned.
‘Think about it, Sophie,’ she said. ‘Are you really being yourself at your rehearsals? Why don’t you just ask for help?’
I didn’t have a clue what she was talking about. ‘What are you going on about?’ I said, frowning. ‘Anyway,’ I added quickly, ‘it doesn’t matter. This isn’t about me. It’s about you. You can’t turn down the quiz team.’
‘I can,’ Harriet said.
‘But…’
She put her hands over her ears. ‘Look, just stay out of it. Leave me alone!’
There was a knock on the door. ‘Is everything OK in there?’ Mr Chase said. He sounded concerned. He wasn’t the only one. I’d never seen Harriet look so mad. She was almost trembling with rage.
She strode to the door and opened it. ‘Sophie’s going,’ she said.
Mr Chase looked very surprised. ‘Oh, right.’
I looked at Harriet. Her face was rigid. ‘Bye, Sophie.’
I didn’t have much choice but to leave. ‘Bye,’ I muttered, and I hurried past Mr Chase down the stairs.
As Mr Chase followed me, Harriet shut her bedroom door with a bang.
‘Is everything all right?’ Mr Chase asked me as he caught me up by the front door. ‘Have you and Harriet had an argument?’
‘Umm… sort of,’ I replied.
‘Oh well,’ he said comfortingly, ‘I’m sure you girls will make it up. See you soon, Sophie.’
I said goodbye and set off down their front path. As I reached the gateway, I saw Ally.
She stopped dead when she saw me.
I hesitated. There was no way I wanted another argument. Not now.
‘What are you doing here?’ Ally demanded.
‘I came to see Harriet,’ I replied. I hesitated. ‘Is… is that why you’re here?’
Ally nodded. There was a moment’s pause and then suddenly Ally’s face relaxed. ‘Look, I’m sorry about earlier,’ she blurted out.
‘Me too.’ The words rushed out of me in relief. ‘I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I know you care about Harriet.’
‘Course I do,’ Ally said. ‘You two are my best friends.’
Warm and tingling feelings coursed through me. Deep down of course I knew it, but it was good to hear Ally say it.
‘I don’t know how you could ever have doubted it,’ Ally said.
‘Well, it’s just that you’ve been spending so much time with Eve,’ I said cautiously.
‘Because we’re in the same class,’ Ally sighed. ‘And I like her; she’s really good fun to hang around with but that doesn’t stop me being best friends with you and Harriet.’ She frowned. ‘You know, it’s not been easy being in a different class from you two, seeing you go off to lessons together, hearing you talk about what you’ve been doing.’
I suddenly felt really awful. Poor Ally. I’d almost forgotten how hard it must have been for her. ‘We never meant you to feel left out,’ I said quickly.
‘I know,’ Ally said. ‘And I didn’t mean to make you feel that I wasn’t bothered about you and Harriet any more. I am — I’m really bothered — but I’ve got to make new friends and Eve’s nice.’
I nodded. I understood. ‘She is.’
Ally smiled. ‘So what’s been going on with Harriet?’ she asked.
‘Let’s go back to my house and talk about it,’ I replied. ‘I don’t think there’s any point in you trying to see Harriet now. She’s really mad.’
‘Harriet?’ Ally said in surprise. ‘But she never gets cross.’
‘She never used to,’ I corrected her. ‘She’s been acting really differently the last few weeks.’
‘Because she’s being picked on?’ Ally said.
I nodded. ‘Come on, let’s go back to mine.’
On the way home, I told Ally everything that had been happening.
‘I don’t know what to do,’ I finished.
Ally frowned. ‘I had no idea they were picking on her so much. So that’s why she got new trousers and shoes?’
‘Yes,’ I told her. ‘And why she’s stopped answering so many questions in class.’ I sighed. ‘We’ve got to make her see that she should just be herself. That it doesn’t matter what people like Kelly think.’
As Ally nodded, I suddenly remembered what Harriet had said about me. She’d said I wasn’t being myself. What had she been going on about? I pushed the thought to the back of my mind. It wasn’t important. Right now what mattered was Harriet.
‘What are we going to do?’ Ally asked.
‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘I guess we just leave it tonight and try talking to her tomorrow.’
But the next day, Harriet wouldn’t speak to us at all. She sat with Emily on the bus and that’s when I knew that she was really in a mood with us. Nothing on earth would normally persuade her to sit by her sister. And then in class she marched past me and went to an empty desk at the front of the room.
‘Look who’s got no friends,’ Kelly teased.
Harriet blushed uncomfortably and looked at the desk top.
I went over to Harriet. ‘Harriet, please can’t we —’
‘Go away,’ she muttered, turning her back on me.
I hesitated.
‘I mean it, Sophie. Go away.’ Harriet looked up at me as if reading my mind. ‘I’ll move if you sit beside me.’
Giving up, I went back to my place. She really was mad.
For the rest of the day Harriet’s bad mood continued.
‘I’ll try and talk to her tomorrow when we go riding,’ Ally promised that evening as we got off the bus and watched Harriet unhappily march away.
‘OK,’ I sighed. I hated Harriet looking so miserable. ‘Good luck.’
I found it was almost impossible to concentrate at the rehearsal the next day. Had Ally spoken to Harriet yet? Had she had made her see sense about the quiz team?
‘Sophie!’ Dizzy’s sharp voice snapped me out of my brooding. ‘Are you listening?’
‘Er… yes,’ I lied. Realizing everyone was looking at me, I felt my cheeks burn.
Dizzy frowned. ‘OK, let’s take that sequence from the top.’
The music started. I tried to follow the others but I got lost on the last few steps. I stopped in confusion.
Dizzy fixed me with a
steely glare. ‘So, you were listening were you, Sophie?’
I looked at the ground, willing it to open up and swallow me whole. ‘No,’ I muttered.
‘Well, I’ll go through it once more and this time maybe you’ll do me the courtesy of paying attention.’ Sarcasm positively dripped from Dizzy’s voice.
With my face as red as a fire engine, I watched as she went through the steps and then I performed them — luckily to Dizzy’s satisfaction.
‘That’s more like it,’ she said briefly, and then she turned to address everyone. ‘OK, guys, let’s move on.’
As she showed us the next steps in the dance I caught Samantha grinning at me. I forced myself to focus on what Dizzy was saying. I couldn’t afford to miss out bits of the dance again. Particularly not when there was just one day until the decision was going to be made as to which team was to perform on opening night. My team, I thought. Oh please, let it be my team.
‘OK, everyone take a break apart from Sophie and Justine,’ Dizzy called half an hour later. ‘You two, I want to see you go through your solos.’
My heart plummeted. Oh no. Not the ballet. Justine and I walked over, avoiding each other’s eyes as usual.
‘Justine, you first,’ Dizzy said.
I watched as Justine performed the dance. My spirits sank further. She looked perfect to me.
‘Good,’ Dizzy praised as she finished. ‘Technically that’s spot on, Justine.’
Justine flushed with pride.
However, as usual, Dizzy had criticism to follow the praise. ‘Now you need to think a little more about character. Remember, Lucy isn’t a trained ballet dancer. You need to try and evoke the feeling of a young girl dancing for sheer happiness. We need a real exuberance to shine through.’
Justine nodded.
Dizzy turned to me. ‘OK, Sophie.’
I walked slowly out to the middle of the floor and took up the first position. As I waited for Dizzy to rewind the tape, I felt myself tensing. I had to be good. By tomorrow I had to perform this for Claire and Stefan. My stomach swirled like a washing machine. Dizzy pressed play and the music started.
I moved forwards but as I began the first spin I stumbled. Recovering, I tried to carry on but my body felt stiff and tense, and the harder I tried the worse I seemed to get. I could feel my face turning into one huge blush as I stumbled again.
Suddenly the music stopped. ‘OK, stop there,’ Dizzy said abruptly.
Straightening up, she walked over to me. All my muscles tensed. What was she going to say? I looked at the floor waiting for her to explode.
But when she spoke, her voice was soft. ‘Sophie, what’s going on?’ she said quietly. ‘You can dance better than that.’
I looked at her.
‘Well?’ she said. ‘Why are you making this dance into such a big deal?’
I didn’t know what to say.
Dizzy frowned. ‘OK, we’ll leave it for now but I want to see you at the end of rehearsal today.’ She clapped her hands. ‘Right, guys, on your feet. Let’s go through Aslan’s dance.’
Everyone trooped on to the floor. I could feel people giving me curious looks but I kept my eyes on the ground.
‘Ooh,’ Samantha said mockingly as she passed me. ‘See the teacher at the end of class. That can’t be good.’
I ignored her but inside I was feeling sick to the pit of my stomach. What was Dizzy going to say to me? One thing was for sure, it wasn’t going to be anything I wanted to hear.
To my relief, Dizzy kept us busy for the rest of the afternoon and everyone quickly forgot about the mess I’d made of the ballet solo.
Everyone, that is, apart from Samantha. ‘Enjoy your talk with Dizzy,’ she smirked as the rehearsal finished and everyone fetched their bags and coats.
I looked across the room to where Dizzy was talking to Velda. Taking a deep breath, I slowly walked over. They were deep in discussion about the set. I hung around for a few moments but Dizzy didn’t come over to me. Maybe she had forgotten about talking to me. A wild thought grabbed me. There was always tomorrow. Maybe if I practised really hard at home I could get the dance right and come in and surprise her. I began to back away. Guilt gnawed at me but I ignored it. Yes, I’d practise, that’s what I’d do. I turned and hurried to the door.
Chapter Fifteen
Mum was waiting in the foyer. ‘I thought you were never coming out.’ She smiled. ‘I’d begun to think you’d been kept back for bad behaviour!’
Her joke was far too close to the truth for me to smile at it. I walked quickly out of the door.
‘So how was today?’ she asked as she followed me to the car.
‘OK,’ I muttered. I felt awful. I knew I should have stayed and spoken to Dizzy. She was going to be really mad with me. I almost wanted to turn back but I couldn’t bring myself to.
I got into the car feeling sick. What was Dizzy going to say tomorrow? And it was the day the decision was going to be made. I groaned inwardly. Had I just totally messed everything up?
Mum started the car. ‘It’s amazing to think that you’re starting proper rehearsals on Monday. The time seems to have flown by. It only seems a few weeks since you were auditioning.’
It seemed ages ago to me — a lifetime ago. Had I once really been so delighted about doing the play?
‘I can’t believe the first performance is going to be in three weeks,’ Mum went on. She looked at me. ‘It’s so exciting.’
I forced a smile and nodded.
‘It’s really wonderful to see you doing something like this,’ Mum said. ‘I know it’s hard work but it’s such a great experience.’
Suddenly I wanted to tell her everything. ‘Mum…’
She didn’t hear. ‘As soon as you know which days you’re going to be performing on I’m going to book tickets. I’m going to be so proud when I see you on that stage, Sophie. So very proud.’
The words I’d been going to say died on my tongue. I swallowed. How could I tell her how dreadful everything was now? How could I say that everything had all gone wrong?
Avoiding her eyes, I leant forwards and turned on the radio. As the music blasted out I leant back in my seat and looked out of the window. I didn’t think I’d ever felt more alone in my whole life.
As soon as I got home I went up to my bedroom and, closing the door, threw myself on my bed. I was going to be a complete failure in the show. I was going to let my team down — let everyone down. Tears sprang to my eyes. No one in my family understood. There was nobody I could talk to. I thought about e-mailing Issy. At least she knew about acting and dancing, but my stomach shrank at the thought of telling her how useless I was. She was so confident and successful. What would she think of me when she found out I was such a failure?
I could talk to Harriet. As soon as the thought formed, I knew it was true but how could I pour my heart out to Harriet when she was still not speaking to me?
Oh this is stupid, I thought suddenly. Why are we arguing? We’re best friends. So what if she wants to pull out of the quiz team because of what people think? It might be dumb but it’s her choice.
I made up my mind. I was going to sort things out with her. We’d been friends too long to argue over whether she should be in the quiz team or not.
‘Sophie! Ally’s on the phone,’ Mum called.
I hurried downstairs. Maybe Ally had managed to smooth things over with Harriet.
‘Hi,’ I said quickly, taking the phone from Mum. ‘How did it go today?’
‘Not well,’ Ally admitted. ‘She wouldn’t talk about the quiz team at all and when I told her she was stupid to drop out she got in a real mood. She’s not talking to me now, either. What are we going to do?’
‘We’re going to go round there and make up with her,’ I said. ‘I’m fed up with arguing. I want us all to be friends again and if that means accepting that she isn’t going to be on the quiz team then I guess that’s what we’ve got to do.’
‘It is?’ Ally said uncertain
ly.
‘It’s better than arguing with her,’ I told her. ‘I’ll meet you by the post office in five minutes. Let’s go and sort this out.’
‘OK,’ Ally agreed.
Five minutes later we met up. ‘What if she doesn’t want to speak to us?’ Ally said anxiously.
‘We’ll make her,’ I said, feeling filled with determination. Everything else might be going wrong in my life, but my friendship with Harriet wasn’t going to. ‘Come on!’ I marched to Harriet’s house and rang the bell.
Harriet answered the door. As soon as she saw us she frowned. ‘Go away!’ she muttered. She tried to shut the door but I stepped into the doorway, stopping her.
‘Harriet, wait,’ I said. ‘We’re sorry. We shouldn’t have tried to tell you what to do. It’s up to you if you want to pull out of the quiz team.’
‘Yeah,’ Ally said. ‘We don’t want to argue with you any more. Can’t we just be friends again?’
Harriet looked taken aback but then she nodded and her face relaxed. ‘I don’t want to argue with you either. Come in.’
We followed her up to her bedroom.
‘I’m really sorry if I upset you the other day,’ I said.
‘It’s OK,’ she said, sitting down on her bed. ‘I know you didn’t mean to.’ She sighed. ‘It’s just really hard having Kelly and the others making comments the whole time. I know they’re just messing around and I shouldn’t get upset but I do.’ She looked at her knees.
Ally joined her on the bed and I sank down on to the beanbag by the bedside table.
‘The more upset you get the more they’re going to pick on you,’ Ally advised her.
‘I know.’ Harriet rubbed her forehead. ‘I hate secondary school.’
‘It isn’t that bad,’ I said.
‘It is,’ Harriet told me. ‘It’s all about wearing the right things and about being cool enough.’
‘It isn’t,’ I protested. ‘I mean, OK, you have to try and fit in a bit if you don’t want to get picked on, but it’s not like you have to change what you’re really like.’
‘Sophie’s right,’ Ally said, backing me up. ‘Yes, it helps to wear the right kind of clothes, but that’s just on the outside; you don’t have to change what you’re like on the inside. You can still be you.’ She smiled. ‘You do look loads better with your new trousers and shoes.’
Centre Stage: A Novel Page 11
