Centre Stage: A Novel

by Linda Chapman

  ‘They haven’t stopped Kelly picking on me,’ Harriet said with a sigh.

  ‘She only picks on you because you react,’ Ally commented. ‘If you ignored her —’

  ‘But it’s so hard,’ Harriet interrupted.

  ‘It’s not,’ Ally told her. ‘You’ve got to just tell yourself that it doesn’t matter what she thinks.’

  It was my turn to back Ally up. ‘It’s the only way to stop her. It doesn’t matter how much you change yourself, she’ll keep finding something to tease you about.’ I took a deep breath. I didn’t want to start an argument again but I had to say something about the quiz team. ‘It’s like the quiz team. You can turn it down but it won’t stop her picking on you.’

  ‘In fact it’ll probably make her pick on you worse,’ Ally said.

  ‘So I might as well just do it?’ Harriet said slowly.

  Ally and I nodded.

  ‘You’d be really good at it,’ I said.

  ‘And you’d really enjoy it,’ Ally agreed.

  ‘You know you love things like that,’ I added. ‘So trying to pretend you don’t is pointless. I mean, how long are you going to pretend for? One year? Two years? All the way through school? If you go around pretending to be something you’re not, you’ll miss out on all the things you want to do.’

  ‘I guess you’re right,’ Harriet admitted.

  She actually seemed to be seeing sense! ‘It’s stupid trying to be something you’re not just because of what other people expect,’ I declared.

  ‘It is,’ Harriet agreed. She looked at me. ‘So are you going to practise what you preach?’

  ‘What?’ I said, taken aback.

  ‘Are you going to follow your own advice?’

  ‘What are you talking about?’ I asked.

  ‘Sophie!’ Harriet shook her head in disbelief. ‘You keep going on about how stressful your rehearsals are. Have you stopped to think it’s maybe because you’re trying to be like other people want you to be?’

  ‘I don’t know what you mean,’ I stammered.

  ‘Well, from what you’ve said you seem to think that everyone expects you to be perfect,’ Harriet went on. ‘And you’re trying to live up to that. Surely if you just admitted that you’re not perfect at dancing and asked for help then the rehearsals might start getting better. You say I’ve been trying to fit in with what Kelly expects, but can’t you see that you’ve sort of been doing the same thing?’

  I stared at her. I wanted to argue but as her words sank into my brain I realized I couldn’t. She was right. I had been trying so hard to live up to the image everyone had of me — Sophie the film star — that I’d been making myself miserable over the dancing. I wasn’t a dancer. I should have just ignored what everyone might think and asked for as much extra help as Dizzy could give me right from the start. If I’d done that I might have actually been able to do the dances by now.

  ‘Well?’ Harriet said, looking at me.

  ‘I guess you’re right,’ I said slowly. Reality began to sink in. ‘I-I’ve been really dumb, haven’t I?’

  ‘I think we both have,’ Harriet said softly.

  Ally grinned at us. ‘Well, what’s new? Now me, of course, I never do anything stupid. But then I can’t help being beautiful and popular and clever…’

  Harriet glanced at me.

  ‘Get her!’ we both said at the same time.

  I leapt off the beanbag — not the easiest thing in the world to do — and threw myself on to the bed. Together Harriet and I tickled Ally while she gasped and squealed.

  ‘Get off!’ she shrieked. ‘I take it back. I said I take it back!’

  At last Harriet and I relented. Giggling, we all sat up. Ally’s hair was sticking up on end and she was pink in the face.

  ‘You’re looking very beautiful now, Ally,’ I teased.

  ‘Stunning,’ Harriet put in.

  ‘You’re both idiots,’ Ally said, but she was grinning.

  Harriet got off the bed. ‘Do you two want to stay for supper?’ she said, looking much happier. ‘I could ask Dad. We’re having fish and chips.’

  ‘Count me in,’ I said. ‘Can I ring my mum, though?’

  Harriet nodded. ‘Ally?’

  Ally had gasped and jumped up, her hands over her mouth. ‘I can’t! It’s Claire’s party tonight. I’d almost forgotten. I’ve got to go. I’m supposed to be going round to Eve’s to get ready.’ She hurried to the door. ‘I’d better go.’

  ‘Good luck with Nathan!’ I told her. ‘Ring me in the morning before I go to rehearsal and tell me everything.’

  ‘Remember, if you kiss him, we want to know,’ Harriet said.

  ‘All the details,’ I reminded her.

  Ally grinned. ‘Keep your fingers crossed!’

  I didn’t sleep well that night. The portion of fish and chips I’d had at Harriet’s house, plus the enormous tub of ice cream we’d demolished afterwards as we watched the video of Scooby Doo, seemed to sit like a boulder in my stomach. I tossed and turned, my mind whirling with thoughts.

  How had Ally got on at the party? Had she and. Nathan kissed? What was Dizzy going to say to me the next day? Something told me she wasn’t going to be too pleased with me for disappearing after rehearsal without talking to her. What was I going to say to her? I needed to ask for her help. But if she was really mad with me…

  And what about the rehearsal? The next day, Claire was going to decide which team would perform on the opening night. There was no way my dancing was good enough. My team weren’t going to get chosen and it would be all my fault.

  I finally fell asleep about three o’clock in the morning. When my alarm went at seven thirty I woke up feeling bleary-eyed. My head ached and all I wanted to do was crawl back under the covers and go back to sleep.

  I didn’t want to face Dizzy. I didn’t want to go to the rehearsals. I was going to have to do my ballet solo in front of everyone. Oh no… My stomach did a loop the loop at the thought.

  ‘Sophie!’ Mum banged on my door. ‘Are you awake? We need to leave in an hour.’

  ‘I’m awake,’ I said. ‘Mum,’ I called quickly before she could go downstairs. ‘Could we go a bit earlier to rehearsals today?’ I went to the door and opened it.

  Mum was looking surprised. ‘Go earlier? I thought the rehearsal didn’t start until nine.’

  ‘It doesn’t, but I need to talk to Dizzy before the rehearsal starts,’ I said. ‘She’s always there early.’

  Mum shrugged. ‘OK, we can go as soon as you want to. I’ll go and get your packed lunch ready.’ She set off down the stairs.

  Closing my door, I quickly got dressed. I had to talk to Dizzy. I needed to ask for her help. I knew there was no way she could wave a magic wand and get me dancing perfectly by the rehearsal that morning. But really, how much did that matter? Don’t get me wrong. I wanted my team to be chosen for the first night, of course I did — but I could see that I had to be realistic. Surely what really mattered was that I could dance well enough when the show started. Maybe with Dizzy’s help, I could improve sufficiently so that I didn’t make a complete fool of myself when I was actually on the stage.

  I was just about to leave the house when I remembered Ally. I checked my watch. Eight o’clock. She would kill me if I rang her so early. I’d have to call her when I got home that evening.

  ‘Are you ready to go, then?’ Mum said, picking up her car keys.

  I took a deep breath. ‘Yes, I’m ready,’ I said.

  When we reached Clawson Academy, I waved Mum off and then headed into the school. As I reached the foyer of the theatre, my feet slowed down. I felt sick. What was Dizzy going to say to me?

  I walked nervously into the theatre. There was no one there. It all seemed very quiet. My heart beat quickly. When would Dizzy arrive? I felt like turning and running away. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe I should just wait until everyone arrived.

  I heard the sound of voices. Velda and Dizzy. As they came into the theatre, my s
tomach lurched. Oh no, what was Dizzy going to say?

  Dizzy stopped in surprise when she saw me. ‘Sophie!’

  ‘You’re here early,’ Velda said. ‘Did you think the rehearsal started at half eight or something?’

  ‘No, I, er… just wanted to see Dizzy,’ I stammered. I looked at Dizzy. Her face had creased into a frown that looked seriously scary.

  ‘Well, I’m glad you’re here. I want a word with you. Why did you dash off like that last night?’ she said, coming over to me. ‘I told you I wanted to speak to you.’

  ‘I-I’m sorry,’ I said, hanging my head.

  ‘This isn’t a school play, Sophie,’ Dizzy went on. ‘It’s a professional production. When you’re asked to do something, you must do it. Disappearing like you did last night is not acceptable.’

  I felt awful. ‘I know. I should have stayed.’

  ‘Yes,’ Dizzy said seriously. ‘You should have. I wanted to talk about your solo. I can’t understand why you’re finding it so difficult.’

  ‘It’s because I’m useless!’ I exclaimed, the words spilling out of me. ‘I’ve been trying to pretend I can dance but I can’t. I get everything wrong. I can’t do the solo. I can’t do any of the dances!’

  My outburst seemed to startle Dizzy. She put a hand on my arm and as she did, she looked into my face. ‘Hey, calm down, Sophie. What’s brought this on? What’s all this about you being useless?’

  ‘I am,’ I said miserably. ‘I should have asked for help but I thought people would think I was stupid, so I didn’t. I keep making mistakes and getting things wrong.’

  ‘But it’s normal to make mistakes when you’re learning a new dance,’ Dizzy said. ‘All the others get things wrong too.’

  I looked at her. What did she mean? The others hardly ever seemed to get things wrong.

  ‘You don’t see it because you’re dancing with them,’ Dizzy went on. ‘But they all make mistakes. Have you been really worried about this?’

  I nodded. ‘I thought I was the only one.’

  ‘Oh, Sophie.’ Dizzy shook her head. ‘You should have said something to me. OK, so maybe you’re not the quickest at picking up new dances but you’re certainly not useless. The only dance you’re really having problems with is your solo and I’m sure we can sort out your problems with that. But you’ve got to let me help you.’ Her eyes bored into mine. ‘And you’ve got to let me help you even when the others are watching. Do you understand?’

  ‘Yes,’ I said.

  ‘Good.’ Dizzy smiled. ‘Go and get changed and we’ll go through it before the others get here.’

  It only took me two minutes to pull on my dance things and then I hurried back to Dizzy.

  ‘We’ll go through it from the beginning step by step,’ Dizzy said, ‘just to make sure that it’s clear in your mind.’

  We started working slowly through the dance. We were just finishing the end sequence when the rest of the cast started to arrive.

  ‘Good,’ Dizzy said as I finished the last spin. ‘And now I want you to dance the whole thing. I don’t want you to worry if you make mistakes. I just want you to imagine you’re Lucy. Show me her dancing for happiness, really believe that you’re her.’

  I glanced round. People were taking off their coats and looking at me curiously.

  ‘Ignore everyone else,’ Dizzy said softly. ‘What they think doesn’t matter. So you make some mistakes; I help you through them. It’s nothing to do with anyone else. All that matters is that you get this dance right.’

  I knew she was right. Trying to block out the rest of the cast, I took up my starting position.

  ‘Try and imagine you’re Lucy,’ Dizzy said. ‘In fact —’ she paused as if she’d had a sudden idea — ‘do you know the lines in this scene?’

  I nodded.

  ‘Well, let’s go from about ten lines before the dance. I’ll get my script and read Mr Tumnus’s part.’

  She fetched her script and a chair. ‘OK, let’s go from line twelve where Lucy says, “That was a lovely tea, Mr Tumnus.” ’

  I thought for a moment and got the lines clear in my head, then I sat down on the chair — just like I would if I was Lucy — and I started. ‘That was a lovely tea, Mr Tumnus.’ As I said the lines I started to forget I was me and began to believe I was Lucy and I was really happy.

  Suddenly the music began and I started to dance. It felt so much better. I didn’t get everything right. I missed at least two turns but I remembered what Dizzy had said. A few mistakes didn’t matter. I just had to really concentrate on being Lucy.

  As I finished the final spin, Dizzy clapped. ‘That was much better, Sophie. Well done!’

  I glowed with pride and happiness. OK, it hadn’t been perfect but I’d felt like I was dancing — really dancing. ‘Take a quick break now,’ Dizzy said. ‘We’ll be starting in five minutes. I’ll just go and find out where Stefan and Claire are.’

  I headed over to my bag, wishing I’d asked for help sooner. Maybe if I had, I’d have been able to do all the dances really well by now. I tried to remember what I’d thought that morning. Being chosen today to do the first performance wasn’t really important. What mattered was being good enough by the time I got to perform on stage in three weeks’ time — whether that was for the first performance or not.

  I tried very hard to believe it.

  ‘Sophie.’

  I glanced round. It was Justine.

  ‘You… you danced that solo really well,’ she said.

  She was being nice to me! Why? We’d hardly said a word to each other for the last three weeks. I stared at her warily.

  The silence lengthened and a faint blush spread across her cheeks. ‘I… er, better go.’ She looked genuinely uncomfortable.

  ‘Wait,’ I said, as she turned. ‘Thanks,’ I told her.

  I smiled tentatively and she smiled back.

  ‘Justine!’ Samantha came stalking over. ‘What are you doing talking to her? Come on. Let’s go and get our shoes on.’

  Justine shot me an almost apologetic look and hurried off. I stared after her. Why had she come over to me? Had she really meant it when she said I’d danced well? I remembered the way she had smiled at me. It had seemed like a real smile. But then she was good at acting…

  Oh, this was stupid. Suddenly I realized I was fed up with having to be suspicious, fed up with all the ignoring and staying on different sides of the room. I wanted to be friends. And not just Justine and me. I wanted everyone in the two teams to get on. I hated feeling we were always in a competition against each other.

  ‘OK, guys,’ Dizzy called. ‘Time for a warm-up.’

  After the warm-up Claire sat us down and explained that we were going to run through the play, doing all the dances and songs and acting out the scenes that we had rehearsed with her.

  ‘It’ll give Dizzy, Stefan and I a chance to evaluate your progress so far,’ she explained. ‘And, of course, to choose the team that will be performing on the first night. Principals, you’ll be acting alternate scenes for me, apart from the scene at Mr Tumnus’s house. I want to see both Sophie and Justine do that. Justine first and then Sophie. OK.’ She clapped her hands. ‘We’ve got a lot to get through so let’s have you into your positions for the first dance.’

  As the rest of the cast started the first dance I saw Colette whispering something to Mark and Jack. She glanced over at me and, seeing me watching, beckoned me over.

  ‘We’ve got a plan,’ she hissed when I joined them. ‘We’re going to play a trick on Justine in the scene at Mr Tumnus’s house. It should be funny.’

  ‘And hopefully it will put her off so she makes a mess of the scene,’ Mark said. ‘She’s not that great at remembering the lines from that scene anyway. It should make you look even better.’

  ‘What are you going to do?’ I asked, feeling worried. I wasn’t sure I wanted them to play a trick on Justine now.

  ‘Well, you know you have to sit down and have tea with Mr Tumnus?’
Colette said.

  ‘Yes,’ I replied slowly. Part of the scene involved Lucy sitting down and drinking a cup of tea and eating sandwiches with Mr Tumnus.

  ‘And over the last few weeks you’ve been practising with real food?’ Colette continued.

  I nodded.

  ‘Well, we thought we could change the food on the tea table to put Justine off. So we’re going to swap the plain ham sandwiches you normally eat, for ham and —’ she grinned at Jack and Mark — ‘mustard sandwiches. Jack brought some for his lunch.’

  ‘It’s really strong mustard,’ Jack put in. ‘The type that makes your eyes water. We’ll swap them back before you have to do the scene of course, Sophie.’

  ‘It will be so funny to see Justine’s face,’ Colette giggled. ‘She’ll have to try and keep acting and she’ll have a mouthful of mustard!’

  ‘But that’s mean!’ I burst out. It was a horrible trick. ‘Don’t do it. Please. It’s not fair.’

  ‘Whose side are you on?’ Colette said in surprise. ‘Don’t you want our team to look good?’

  ‘Yeah, but not by making Justine eat mustard,’ I protested.

  ‘It’s not that bad,’ Jack said. ‘It’s not like we’re poisoning her or anything.’ He looked at the others. ‘Come on, let’s go and swap the food now while Velda’s out of the theatre.’

  ‘No!’ I protested, but they took no notice.

  Getting up, they went to Jack’s bag and then to the table at the side of the room where all the props were kept. They checked around. Dizzy, Stefan and Claire were all watching the dancing, and Justine’s team were sitting in their usual huddle. No one saw them quickly remove the sandwiches Velda had made and swap them for Jack’s extra-strong mustard ones.

  I felt awful. Poor Justine — and she’d even tried to be nice to me that morning. I bit my fingernails. What could I do? I could swap them back but Colette and the others were bound to see me and try and stop me.

  The dance finished and it was time for the first scene. I headed on to the stage. Worry jumped around inside me and then I remembered. There was one scene when Lucy was off stage for ages while her brothers and sisters were on stage. It was while they were playing hide-and-seek. Lucy had gone through the wardrobe into Narnia and they were looking for her. Maybe I can get to the table then. Yes, that’s what I’d do.