So I did what I do best.
I drank until the pain went away.
Then I came back to my boat and passed out only to wake up sober enough to get it back to my slip at the marina and head to the bar to pick up where I left off.
The thought of calling Celia passed through my head once or twice, but when it did I chalked it up to being too sober and took three shots to drown out reason. Worked too. Until I stumbled home to find her fucking waiting for me with those big coaxing eyes and those damn lips that even the sanest man would sell his soul to taste, I fucking lost it.
And now she’s on her knees looking up at me as if I have the power to fix this. As if I’m the hero she’s been waiting for rather than the coward who’s perfected the art of hiding in the bottom of a bottle.
“Fuck.” I hold my hand out to help her up. This woman doesn’t deserve to feel the cold hard ground beneath her perfect skin, let alone sit out here in the dark alone waiting for an asshole like me. “Come on. I’ll walk you to your car.”
She takes my hand and once her warm palm hits mine I can’t help but tug her in and crush her to my chest. Her arms come around my waist and her body shakes with a silent sob as she leans on me for comfort.
“I’m not a good guy.” It kills me to say it, but she needs to know.
“You lost a friend, Aden.” Her fists grip the back of my tee and her breath skates along my skin. “You’re hurting. Don’t shut me out.”
I pull back knowing if I keep her close for a second longer I’ll take her to my boat and beg to get lost in her body. “You shouldn’t have come here.”
The soft mounds of her breasts press against my ribcage and I hiss as blood roars through my veins. “I tried to stay away.”
“I should let you go.” My fingers dig into the soft flesh of her hips going against the words that tumble from my lips.
“Or maybe you should hold on.”
I fork my hands into her hair and lift her lips to mine. The second they touch I know I’m not walking to her car. No force of will or military trained obedience can get me to release her.
I’m drowning in her.
In her touch, her effect, the way she looks at me as if she sees past the darkness in my soul to the man I was meant to be. The honorable man I was before. God, how I want to be that man again.
When I rip my mouth from hers, I punch in the five-digit code and grab her hand, leading her through the gate and down the dock to the boat.
She doesn’t speak or try to get away, but succumbs to my control as I help her aboard and usher her through the back door. I hold her hips from behind and steer her to my bed, the sheets balled up from a restless night’s sleep. Her thighs hit the mattress and I skate my hands up her sides, pulling her shirt up. She lifts her arms so I can tug it off and toss it to the ground. The moonlight casts her pale skin in an ethereal glow that makes her look otherworldly—an angel sent just for me.
I kiss a path from her shoulder to her earlobe, melting against the comforting warmth of her skin. “If you want to leave at any time, I won’t stop you.”
“I’m staying. As long as you’ll have me.”
I groan as her words soak through the drunken haze. “Always,” I whisper, and hook my thumbs into the waistband of her shorts to push them to the floor. “It hurts.” The weakness in my voice is humiliating, but I can’t help it. Being around Celia is disabling in the best way.
Nuzzling her neck, she tilts her head to allow me full access to the velvety skin of her throat. “I know.”
After I cover every inch with brushes of my lips I move to the other side. Goose bumps race across her skin and she goes weak in my hold.
Needing to feel her against me, I pull my tee off before wrapping a forearm around her chest and pressing her back to my front. “You feel so good.” With a hand in her hair I tug her head aside to get back to her neck, playing with her breasts until she’s arching and rubbing her round ass against me. Every stroke is like hitting a new button that lights her up even more.
Who needs booze when I have this responsive woman writhing with want in my arms?
I press between her shoulder blades, bending her over my bed. Following her down, I stretch her arms up over her head. “Stay like this. Don’t move.”
She sighs as I kiss a path down her spine, her skin like the sweetest silk on my lips. I move to her side and nip at the creamy mound of her breast that’s pressed to the bed. She arches her back, her ass teasing me until I’m painfully hard. All it would take is one slide of her panties to be buried deep inside, but I want to explore every inch of her body and bring her to the brink until she’s begging me to finish it. I want to be the man she thinks I am, strong and heroic, and hers.
With a frustrated grunt I flex my hips into her backside in a not so subtle request for her to be still. She whimpers and fists at the sheets as I move to her other side, nipping and licking until I’m bathed in the guttural sounds of her desire.
“You want this?” Another flex of my hips and she’s pushing back into me.
Beautiful.
“Never felt anything like this . . . Aden, it . . .” She sighs when I rotate my hips against her. “Aches.”
“Mmm . . .” I hum against her skin and kiss her lower back before sliding her panties down to her knees. My breath catches in my throat at the view of her before me and run my tongue up the backs of her thighs until her legs almost give out. “I want to take my time—”
“Please, don’t.” She rocks back into me. “I can’t take any more.”
“Shhh . . .” I cover her in worshipful swipes of my lips and tongue, making sure to linger on the spots that make her crazy. I remember telling myself one day I’d kiss every freckle and I intend to do just that.
I fantasized about feasting on her for hours and that’s exactly what I do until I can’t take another second of not being inside her.
I reach into a drawer at the side of my bed and pull out a condom, rolling it on quickly. I then push her panties to her ankles. “Keep these here.” She nods and I move her to her back before I nudge my way through the gap in her panty-restrained legs. Her thighs cradle my hips and she gasps at the feel of my hard-on resting between us. Her legs surround me like the warmest blanket and with her ankles locked behind my knees we’re fused together. “Want to feel you wrapped around me the entire time.”
Her hands lock behind my neck and she pulls me to her lips and kisses me softly once, twice, then slides her tongue along mine in a tentative stroke. I pull back as far as I can with her shackled ankles, and as I slide my tongue into her mouth I inch my way inside her body.
She rips her mouth from mine to groan in pleasure just as a long hiss escapes my lips.
“You’re so sweet, freckles. Every part of you, so fucking sweet.”
Her nails dig into my back and I thrust forward in response. Her neck arches and opens enough for me to bury my face as I rock in and out of her in a slow and deliberate rhythm. Entranced by every sound she makes I lean to one elbow to watch as her body writhes and rolls with every stroke.
Hungry for more, I reach behind her knee with one arm and her back with the other rolling us so that she’s on top, her ankles still locked behind my legs. Cocking my knees, she pushes up and—“Fuuuck, you’re gonna wreck me.”
She bites her lip and with her body towering over mine she grinds her hips against me. I slide my hands up to cup her breasts and toy with them until she throws her head back with a breathless gasp. Her pace quickens.
“Yeah, baby. Don’t stop.”
She doesn’t.
“Gorgeous.” My teeth grind together to hold back my impending orgasm.
“Aden.” Her voice hitches on a quick breath and I know she’s close.
“Right here.” I grip her hips and hold her down while rolling in time with her, and that’s it.
Her fingers dig into my pecs and she cries out my name.
“Dammit, fuck.” I spit through my teeth as an orgas
m bigger and more intense than I’ve ever felt shreds through me. My toes curl, my thighs constrict and bolts of pleasure shoot up my spine. My head gets light and I continue to move with her as every touch seems to extend the ecstasy.
She drops down on top of me, giving me all her weight, and I wrap her in my arms and try to get my head out of the clouds and back on stable ground.
“I’ve . . . that’s never happened to me before.”
I run my fingers up and down her back, her skin sticky from exertion and her sweet scent settles my soul. “It was new for me too.”
A long and drawn-out sigh falls from her lips and she wiggles to free her ankles from her panties before pushing off of me and dropping to my side.
I trash the condom, then pull her to me, thinking it’s been years since I’ve felt this sated, this totally and completely satisfied. Not just sexually, but down to my bones. She tames the monster inside.
She traces a pattern on my abdomen. “Aden?”
“Hm.”
“That woman, the one who was with you . . .”
I pinch my eyes closed.
“Was she the owner of the earring?”
“Yes.”
Her tiny frame seems to get even smaller at my side. I roll her over and position myself between her thighs, pinning her hips with mine. Cupping her face between my hands I lock eyes with hers. “One thing I will never do is lie to you, freckles.”
Her gaze drops to my chin.
“Look at me.”
Reluctantly, she does.
“Sydney is a waitress at the Office. Yes, it was her earring and yes, in the past, she and I have hooked up, but I haven’t even entertained the idea of Syd since you.”
“But tonight, she—”
“She knew Jenkins, hell, everyone in that bar knew him. We were all hurting, she brought up the idea of coming back to the boat but I told her no.” I drop a kiss to the tip of her nose. “I told her about you, fuck . . . I couldn’t shut up about you.”
Her expression turns sour. “You didn’t hurt her feelings, did you?”
The corner of my mouth ticks up. “I don’t know many women who would genuinely be concerned about another woman’s feelings.”
She shrugs. “Well . . . that’s because until now, you never knew me.”
I groan and bury my nose into her neck. “Fuck, you’re something else.”
“Thank you for not sending me home.”
Afraid I’m crushing her, I drop to my back and pull her to my side. “Sorry for bein’ a dick.”
“You were drunk and grieving.”
“Still am.”
She tilts her head up to look at me. “Which one? Drunk or grieving?”
I search my feelings for a split second, not wanting to lie. “Maybe a little-a-both.”
Snuggling back into me, she kisses my chest. “Understandable. You feel like talking about it?”
Sex then talk?
I’ve never confided in a woman I’ve slept with.
But everything about this is different. Everything about Celia is different.
What that all means, I have no fucking clue.
NINETEEN
SAWYER
We stayed naked and twisted together for the next day.
I waited for him to tell me I should leave, expected at any minute he’d remind me that we swore we wouldn’t spend the night together. He never did. Instead, he held me to him tighter than he ever has without even the whisper of a night terror. I suppose that might be because we seldom slept for any substantial period of time.
Between dozing off to rest we ate and showered, but everything would lead us back to the bed. I checked my phone to make sure my family wasn’t trying to reach me and Aden would peek at his every now and then, but everything else we ignored.
In those glorious hours we focused on nothing but each other.
There were quiet times where we’d talk about Jenkins. Aden would tell me stories that would have me laughing hard enough to draw tears, and he shared with me that the old man had a fractured relationship with his family. He hadn’t spoken to his children in a long time and didn’t expect to be missed once he passed on.
When our conversation would become too much Aden would get quiet and I would do my best to distract him, which was always easy seeing as we wore little to no clothes.
I had moments in the dark of night when his breathing would even out that I thought to tell him about Celia, but lost my nerve knowing the truth would burst the delicate bubble we’d created. I’m here because Aden needs me, but acting as some kind of salve to his pain is a double-edged sword because every second that passes with him is one more that I fall deeper in love.
I’ve made my mental lists. All the reasons we won’t work, the obvious being that he doesn’t even know who I really am. There’s the geography, we live in two different states. I’d never expect him to give up the boat and his fishing to be with me. But when I start to convince myself to get up and walk away he’ll smile at me, or touch me in a way that erases all rational thought.
I may not need him.
He may be the worst possible person for me.
But I want him in a way I can’t even begin to understand.
And it goes well beyond what he can do with my body that makes everything outside of us seem insignificant. It’s the way he makes me feel like I’m the only woman in the world. He responds to every word I say, every sound that slips unabashed from my lips, as if I’m giving him a secret he’s been desperate to discover. When we’re together it’s as if I’m the air and he’s begging for his next breath.
I’ve played second string to my twin sister my entire life. She was the funny one, the talented one, popular, artistic, smart, and sexy. I was average, awkward, ordinary, and even though I got decent grades that’s where my credentials ended.
But Aden erases all that. To him I’m everything I’m not and so much more.
Especially now, in these moments, when he’s looking down at me, his big hands framing my face as he moves inside me, his eyebrows dropped low in concentration like I’m speaking to him in a special language only he can understand. Whatever he hears makes the corner of his mouth tick up.
I wrap my legs around his hips and kiss him so deeply he moans and—barks?
“What was that?” The concern in my voice dissolves with my breathlessness.
He drops his forehead to my shoulder. “Ignore it.”
Another bark, then another followed by a thump on the backside of the boat. “It sounds like a seal?”
He sighs long and hard, then pulls back to look down at me. “It’s Morpheus.”
My eyes pop wide. “What is Morpheus?”
He drops a kiss to the tip of my nose. “I’ll show you, but we’re coming back to this afterwards.” He rolls off me just as another bark comes from the back of the boat. “I hear you! Shut the fuck up now!”
I scramble to throw on one of Aden’s T-shirts and he tosses me a pair of boxers that I have to roll up a few times to keep them from falling down my legs. He puts on a pair of swim trunks and with a little maneuvering and effort, laces them up over his erection. I pat my heated cheeks, hoping they’ll die down and that the effect of seeing Aden aroused after a day of sex would wear off. We move through the small cabin and out to the back of the boat.
“It’s a little early for a wake-up call, man.”
I peek around Aden’s big back to see a dark gray sea lion the size of a small couch perched on the back deck. “Oh my gosh, Aden . . . he’s huge,” I whisper to keep from spooking the animal. He has to weigh five hundred pounds and his teeth are as long as my fingers.
“Huge pain in the ass.” He pops open the live bait box and reaches in to grab a handful of sardines, then tosses them to the animal. “There. Happy?”
Morpheus swallows them whole and barks for more, which makes Aden chuckle.
“This isn’t SeaWorld.” He tosses him a few more. “And you’re being rude.” Aden nods toward
me. “Can’t you see I have company?”
It’s almost as if the sea lion understands him because his big black eyes track to me.
“Here.” Aden hands me a live sardine and I hold it tight to keep it from slipping from my fingers. “Toss it in the air. He’ll catch it.”
I do and sure enough he catches it on the fly. “Wow, he’s good.”
“Last one.” Aden hands it to me and I do the same, watching how quickly the animal moves to get the fish. “Now go!”
Morpheus grunts and barks one more time before lumbering his big body down the dock where he stops at Jenkins’s boat. He barks.
“Oh no . . . Aden.” The animal barks again and again and I feel each one like a blow to the chest. “That’s so sad.”
He turns to head back inside the cabin and I meet him in the kitchen where he’s washing his hands. “He’ll get over it.” He dries his hands on a towel and moves aside so I can wash mine. “In time, everyone will.”
I tilt my head to peek up at him. His jaw is hard and his gaze is cast out toward the bay. “Including you?”
“Yeah.” He squints out the small window. “Jenkins wasn’t a young man, he—” Aden clears his throat. “There are worse ways to go.”
“I’m sure there are.” I move to a stool across from him feeling his need for space.
“Thanks for being here.”
The seriousness of his voice calls my eyes to his. He doesn’t look away and I watch as genuine appreciation shines back at me.
His lips tick with a tiny grin that has my belly fluttering. “If we don’t get outside and in public I’ll end up holding you hostage in my bed.”
My belly flips at the promise behind his words. “What do you suggest?”
“Let’s take the boat across the bay for breakfast.”
“All I have is what I had on last night. I don’t even have a hairbrush.” I tug on the T-shirt I’m wearing self-consciously.
He comes around the counter and turns my stool before pushing his thick thigh between my knees and cupping my face. His dark eyes trace the line of my jaw, my eyes, then slide down to my lips. “Flushed cheeks, eyes always bright but they’re shining now, thick dark pink lips from being sucked and bitten, freckles . . . never seen a woman wear the morning-after look as well as you.” He licks his lower lip and I’m practically panting. “Matter of fact, lookin’ at you now . . .” He slides his hand up my thigh to my ass and pulls my leg up so I’m forced to lean back against the bar. “I changed my mind about leaving.”
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