TWENTY-THREE
SAWYER
I’m back at the cottage waiting for Aden. I hit the bathroom, checked my hair and makeup, and traded in my skinny jeans for a pair of baggy drawstring pants. They’re not the sexiest things in my suitcase, but I notice when I tie them loose and allow them to hang low on my hips they accentuate my backside, a part of my body that Aden seems to appreciate.
When I’m done touching up, I’m surprised to see he’s still not here. I scurry outside to make sure he didn’t dupe me and end up going back to the boat. I notice his truck is still there so I plop down on the deck assuming he’s at Cal’s catching up with his uncle.
Now that the sun has fully set, the ocean is nothing more than an endless inky pool of darkness. But in the distance there’s a sea of glowing dots, and just as the girl from the moving company said, hundreds of people have paddled out past the pier with what has to be thousands of glow sticks.
“Hey.” Aden’s word is clipped as he takes the seat next to me with a bottle of whiskey in his hand.
Other than the few beers he had tonight, I haven’t seen Aden touch liquor in days.
I eye the bottle, then him. “Everything okay with Cal?”
He grabs my hand and pulls it into his lap. “Cal? Yeah, he’s good. He’s really good.”
I squeeze to get his eyes and they’re a little wild again like earlier, but when he studies me for a few seconds he seems to calm. The pounding of music comes from all different directions, parties at neighboring homes, and there’s a group of people around Brice’s place with red Solo cups in hand, all watching the swarm of glowing surfers get bigger and bigger.
“Want to go inside?”
He leans in and presses a hurried kiss to my cheek. “No. I want you to see the show.”
“Celia!” Zoë comes skipping toward us wearing a pair of cutoff shorts and a red, white, and blue bikini top. “We were just getting ready to paddle out.” Her eyes track to Aden, who has become stiff at my side. “Hey, Aden.”
He ignores her, which immediately strikes me as rude, but when I turn toward him it’s as if he doesn’t even see her.
“Oh, ya know, I’m not a very strong swimmer so I’ll just—”
The sound of Zoë’s laughter cuts me off. “Not a strong swimmer?” She cocks a hip. “You out-paddled Brice when we went surfing at Bird Rock.”
Aden slowly turns toward me, his eyes morphing into slits of doubt.
“Yeah, well . . .” I squeeze his hand but keep my eyes on her. “That was a long time ago; besides, I want to stay dry.”
I want to stay dry? What a lame excuse.
“All right, but you’re missing out.” She turns to see a few people around Brice’s place with their surfboards making their way down to the beach. “It’s almost time!” She jogs off, calling over her shoulder, “Enjoy the show!”
My muscles ache with tension and I expect Aden to launch into questions about my surfing, but after a few minutes pass, he seems more interested in emptying that bottle than anything else.
As much as I want to talk I get the distinct feeling he’s not interested in sharing. So I remain silent, hoping my presence is enough to calm whatever battle is waging within him.
He continues to swig in rapid succession. My knee bounces with the energy it takes to keep from snagging the bottle from him and demanding answers. My phone vibrates in my pocket. With my free hand I pull it out and see it’s from my mom.
It’s almost nine o’clock at night.
I hit ACCEPT and press the phone to my ear.
“Mom?”
“Sawyer.” She sounds breathless.
Aden’s hand squeezes mine and I smile reassuringly.
“Mom, hold on.” I press the phone to my chest. “I’m going to take this inside.”
He nods and his eyes go back to scanning the horizon.
Once in the safety of the cottage, I put the phone back to my ear.
“Mom, what’s going on?”
“Honey, it’s Cece.”
I freeze mid-step. “What happened?”
“She couldn’t breathe, we . . . Honey, we had to get her help. She’s at Good Sam.”
“I’ll be home tomorrow first thing. Will I be too late?” My voice cracks as the reality of what she’s telling me constricts my throat.
“No, the doctors assured us we have some time, but Sawyer, we don’t have much.”
“No, Mom.” My eyes heat with tears.
“I know, honey.”
I push back my tears and focus on my last conversation with Celia, holding on to the health I heard in her voice. “How is she handling all this? Is she okay?”
“She hasn’t lost her spunk. When I left to call you she was shoving away all the doctors and even called one of them a . . . cockbag.” I smile and hear the first pop of fireworks from outside. “Your father was mortified.”
“Tell me the truth, Mom. What does your gut tell you?”
A few beats of loaded silence swell between us. “It’s time, baby. My gut tells me . . .” Her voice cracks. “It’s time.”
“I’ll come straight to the hospital.”
“Okay.”
“Tell her I love her.”
“I will.”
I hit END and slump into the couch. What is supposed to be the greatest fireworks show in California goes off right outside my window but I can’t even bear to look with knowledge that my sister will never see another firework again.
And something about that makes me straighten my spine. Saps the sorrow from my bones, leaving life and energy and gratitude in its place as the spirit of my sister fills me with appreciation.
This may be the last time in my life that I ever truly feel alive. Celia wouldn’t want me to waste it.
“Aden, maybe we should paddle out!” I push myself up and force my feet to the door when I hear the angry rumble of a male voice.
“Stand down, Cal, or I’ll put a fucking bullet in your head.”
ADEN
They found me.
I knew they would.
I’ve felt their eyes. Always spying.
The ocean has never been safe. It’s been their way to get at me.
No one is safe.
Mortar explosions are on repeat as incoming bombs hit too close. Close to everything I care about.
Close to her.
Too close to her.
I point my handgun into the face of the enemy.
His hands are raised. “I’m standing down. I’m not here to hurt you.”
My hand shakes but I’m a good shot. Shaking or not, I’ll blow his brains out with one bullet. “Me? You think I could give a fuck about me!”
“Aden, listen to me. You’re in San Diego—”
“Back the fuck off, you fucking liar!”
Something brushes my back.
I can’t see the threat.
Can’t move fast enough.
Gun raised, I whirl around. Muzzle of my gun shoved into the face of—
“Aden, no!”
“Aden?” Her terrified eyes are big and so . . . so green . . . and crying?
“No, no.” I lower my weapon. “Don’t cry. I won’t let anyone hurt you.” I turn back to the man at the steps, my uncle, but now, my enemy.
Another mortar explodes.
“Get down!”
I crouch and back up until she’s forced inside where I lock the door and stand guard.
“I’ll die before I’ll let anyone take her from me.”
TWENTY-FOUR
SAWYER
He has a gun!
How did he get a gun?
Aden’s pressed against the wall, his eyes darting to the window where fireworks explode out over the ocean. Every pop and bang manages to coil him tighter, closer to snapping.
“What are you doing?”
“Shh. Be quiet!”
“Aden . . .”
His gaze remains firmly set to the window.
“You’re scaring me.�
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He blinks and slowly his eyes find mine. I gasp at the torture, the war I see raging behind his glare. “I won’t let them get to you. You have my word.”
I swing my gaze from him to the window and back. “Who? Aden, there’s no one out there.”
He huffs out a breath and seems to calm a fraction before another round of fireworks goes off in a string of explosions.
He jerks away from the wall and grabs me by my biceps, dragging me to the bedroom. “Stay down.” He pushes me back on the bed.
There’s movement from the corner of my eye and I watch as Cal creeps in through the door. He puts a finger to his lips and I grip Aden’s hand before he turns around. “Wait.”
His eyebrows drop low over his eyes as he stares down at me. The Aden I’ve come to know is gone and been replaced by a soldier in a fight for his life.
“Don’t leave me alone back here.” It’s all I can think to keep him from catching Cal and accidentally shooting him.
Aden searches my face frantically. His lips are pale and there are beads of sweat on his skin. Whatever is happening inside his head his body is responding to as if it’s real. He has a moment of clarity and the look of agony slices through his face. “Celia.”
That one name carries so much pain. He has no idea, but what I wouldn’t give to hear my name on his lips. My sister’s name will always be the wall that divides us.
“I’m so sorry.” He steps between my knees and hooks me around the neck to pull me to his stomach, the gun hanging to his side.
“What’s going on, Aden?” I lean around to see Cal moving through the bedroom door.
Aden’s body locks and the muscles of his abs tense.
He whirls around, pushing me behind him as he raises his gun. It happens so fast and next thing I know Cal is on the ground and Aden’s standing over him with the weapon pointed at his uncle’s chest.
I hop off the bed and wrap myself around Aden from behind. “Stop it!”
“Son . . .” Cal’s voice is shaking. “Put the gun down. I’m not here to hurt you.”
“Aden, listen to him.” I try to pull him back but he shrugs me off with a powerful shove of his shoulder.
Cal holds a hand up. “Stand back, Sawyer.”
My eyes meet his and he cringes when he realizes what he’s done.
Thankfully Aden seems too caught up in his head to notice.
The fireworks continue to explode in a series of bursts that sound way too close.
My heart pounds in my chest.
“I just want it to stop.” Aden’s voice cracks. “The screaming, the blood, it never goes away!”
Cal pushes himself up slowly, not taking his eyes off Aden. “I know, son. I know.”
“You don’t!” He steps back, freeing Cal from his overbearing stance. “I can’t get away from it!” He brings the gun to his head and taps his temple with the barrel. “It’s in here, it’ll never go away, it’s in here! I want to die!”
A whimper slides from my lips.
He whirls around and stares at me as if seeing me for the first time. “Except when I’m with you . . .”
Locked in his eyes I take a step forward. “I can help you forget.”
His eyes flare with hunger as his wild gaze traces my face to land like they always do on my lips. “You’re scared.”
“Yes.”
I see Cal stand to his full height behind Aden and he fishes a bottle of pills from his pocket. “Aden.”
The stern sound of his name locks his progress to me and he dips his chin.
“I’m not leaving you alone with Celia with a gun.”
“I would never hurt her. I . . .” The strong soldier before me stares down at his hand and blinks at the weapon. He nods once, clicks something on the side of it, and holds it out for Cal to take.
Cal shakes out a couple pills and places them in Aden’s empty palm then mumbles something close to his ear.
Aden nods and throws back the pills, swallowing them without water.
Cal meets my eyes. “You okay?”
“Yeah.”
“You sure?”
The fireworks have stopped and that seems to relax him a little. “What did you give him?”
“Prescription from the VA to mellow him out.” He looks at Aden then to me. “Do you want me to stay?”
I study Aden, who now resembles a broken boy. “No, I’ll be okay.”
“You sure?”
Aden cringes.
“I’m sure.”
You know where I am if you need me is the unspoken message I see in his eyes.
With that, he turns and leaves me alone with the man who pointed a gun in my face.
And I can’t bear to abandon him when he needs me most.
ADEN
It’s not real.
None of it.
Fuck if my head knows that.
I thought I could handle the fireworks, that if I stayed grounded, stayed with Celia, that I wouldn’t forget where I was. That my mind wouldn’t have the power to take me back there.
I was wrong.
And I could’ve hurt the only person who has ever been able to calm the storm in my mind.
“Can I touch you?” Her soft voice calls my eyes and she holds her hands out to me.
I rush to her and wrap my arms around her waist making sure to not squeeze too hard even though all I want to do is crush her with my apology. “I’m so sorry, freckles. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“I am too.” There are tears in her voice. “I had no idea it was that bad.”
“It’s bad. It’s so bad. But with you . . .” I pull away and catch her quivering lips with mine. She tastes of tears and disappointment. My chest aches to fix what I’ve broken. “I’ve never felt better, more whole, than I do when I’m with you. I thought you’d cured me.”
She steps back and drops to the bed, taking me with her. I curl up to her side and throw my leg over her thighs as she runs a hand through my hair. “Tell me.”
“I can’t talk about it. I’m sorry, I just . . . I can’t.”
“Is this the worst?” The methodical scrape of her nails against my scalp has me relaxing even deeper into her hold.
“No.”
She sighs hard and squeezes me tighter to her. “Tell me?”
“I moved down here thinking getting away from the people I love would keep them from seeing what I’ve become. I can’t handle my anger, the paranoia. It never lets up.”
“You said . . . you want to die?”
“It’s true. I wish I’d died with my brothers. The way it should’ve been.”
My voice is sluggish and my eyelids grow heavy.
“You can’t die.” Her arms close tightly around me as if she could keep me here, keep me stable, by sheer force of will.
“No, I don’t think I can.” I’m so fucking tired. I push back the urge to sleep, to slip away and out of Celia’s arms. “Tried. Failed.”
“Is that what happened at the cliffs? Did you jump?”
“Mm-hm. Waves saved me. Brothers saved me. Can’t die no matter how much I want to.”
“I’m glad you didn’t die, Aden.”
“Mmm.” My body feels weightless and darkness closes in.
“Knowing you is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” I want to soothe the sadness I hear in her voice and reassure her that I’ll erase the ugly memories I gave her. “I’ll miss you.”
“Miss you . . .” I can’t fight it anymore and sleep pulls me under.
From the depths of unconsciousness I dream of the sound of her tears and her whispered “I love you.”
SAWYER
I wake from a deep sleep to find Cal standing at the edge of my bed.
“I hope it’s okay I let myself in. I didn’t want to wake you but,” he whispers. He nods to Aden who is sleeping in my arms. “I wanted to check on him.”
“It’s okay.” I slide out from under him and scoot off the bed and into the living room. Cal follows
behind me and I quietly close the door to the bedroom. “Do you have a second?”
He grunts and leans against a stack of boxes while I drop to the couch, tucking my legs up under me.
“You have to tell me what happened to him, Cal.”
He doesn’t need me to explain it, the look in his eyes tells me he knows what I’m asking for. “That’s not my story to tell—”
“Please. Aden says he can’t tell me, not that he doesn’t want me to know, but it’s like he can’t bring himself to relive it.”
His jaw is hard and unyielding.
“I’m leaving in six hours, Cal. I’ll never see Aden again, but I have to know what made him like this. He says he’s ‘wrecked.’ I just want to understand why.”
He huffs out a breath, turns to check on the closed door to the bedroom, then drops down on the couch next to me. He runs a hand down his face, looking as tired as I feel. “Aden was the commander of his battalion. He called the shots, his men were obligated to follow. And he was good. I’d say the best.”
This doesn’t surprise me. Aden has that natural born leader thing going on. I find it nearly impossible not to listen when he barks orders at me and I’m not a trained soldier.
“On his last deployment his Special Forces team was there to train the local Iraqi soldiers to defend themselves. They had a lot of success and when they were given an op to infiltrate a compound where ISIS members were hiding, Aden was looking forward to backing up the newly trained men.”
“He said he trusted the wrong people? What does that mean?”
Cal nods. “One of the Iraqi soldiers under his training had pissed off some of Aden’s men. They were concerned he was playing both sides. You can imagine how dangerous that could be, if there was a rat in Aden’s team who was filtering information to the enemy, well . . .”
He doesn’t have to finish the sentence. I can only imagine what that would mean for Aden and his team.
“Aden felt his guys were being unfair. He trusted this man with his life and the life of his men.”
Oh no . . .
I dream about crushing his skull with my bare hands.
A chill slides down my spine. “He was wrong.”
Cal turns his cold, hard eyes on mine. “He was wrong.”
Wrecked Page 26
