by TW Brown
“Listen…” Jon started, but his voice trailed off.
I could tell that he was trying to put something into words, but then…I saw it. Tears were welling in his eyes. They had that shiny look to them and I was pretty sure that it was a battle he would lose in a few seconds. I did what I would want him to do for me if the situation were reversed.
I turned and walked away.
***
“Billy!” a voice called from the porch of the cabin.
I turned to see a very pregnant Melissa trying to make her way down the stairs. I slung my weapon over my shoulder and rushed up to see what she needed.
“Can you help me carry a bag down to the cart?” she asked sheepishly. “I tried to pick it up and the baby started a soccer game in my uterus.”
A little more than I what needed to hear, but I nodded and ducked inside to go fetch the bag. When I got to Melissa’s sleeping area in the back, I was not surprised to find that it was still set up for her and Steve. There was a big duffel bag sitting beside the air mattress.
“Kinda surprising how much stuff we have accumulated while running for our lives,” I joked as I slung the heavier than expected bag up and over my shoulder.
“Some of the stuff should have been thrown away, but I just…” Melissa’s voice trailed off and I didn’t have to see her face to know that she was fighting back tears.
I headed towards the front of the cabin where everybody else had their stuff packed, stacked, and ready to roll out of here. As I came into the large entryway, I heard screaming. I dropped the bag and burst through the door that separated the back where most of us had our beds and the reception area of the visitor’s center-turned-dormitory.
“…voy a matar!” Thalia hissed as she stood over the prone and crying figure of Misty.
“Whoa!” I vaulted the desk and ran down the length of the table where we had all once eaten together.
Thalia spun around on me, and for just a moment, I thought that she might take a swing. I slowed to a walk, but I continued to close the distance.
“What’s the problem?” I asked, while simultaneously looking around for just one adult. Funny how they were never around when you needed one.
“She was talking bad about my daddy,” Thalia said through teeth clenched so tight that I wondered how they did not simply shatter.
“Misty?” I gave her what I hoped was a stern look. Also, I was trying to see how much of an ass kicking Thalia had dished out this time.
The girl remained silent, but I saw enough in her expression to know that Thalia was probably telling the truth. Still, that did not mean she could just beat this other girl down. I tried to channel my mother for a minute.
“Thalia, what have you been told about beating up Misty? Would you like it if somebody did that to you every time that you said something they didn’t like?” I know it was pretty lame, but for crying out loud, I am absolutely not a parent.
“She said that my daddy prob’ly deserved what he got,” Thalia said like that was absolutely the only justification that she needed.
“Misty?” I gave her the raised eyebrow that my mom always used on me when I had done something wrong.
My mom had this magic power. She could simply say your name in the form of a question and raise one eyebrow just enough. You could not help yourself. Before you knew it, you were not only telling on yourself for whatever misdeed that she was currently trying to get to the bottom of, but you would tell about stuff from weeks earlier that you didn’t get caught at.
The girl started to sniff. Her eyes immediately went to the floor and I knew that Thalia was telling me the truth. I still did not get the whole dynamic between these two. It had started almost the moment that Misty was brought to our camp. The weird thing about that is that Thalia has always been so eager and excited on those few occasions when we brought children into our fold.
“She wouldn’t stop staring at me,” Misty blurted.
Ah, to be a child again. Here we are, packing up for a journey that will take at least a week at the pace we will have to move, and these two are fighting over “regular” kid stuff. It is almost like they are oblivious to the world and the situation around them. They are living in this exact moment. The past is just that, and the present just does not show up on their radar.
“Thalia?” I turned my attention to her and used the same arched eyebrow.
Nothing.
She stared back at me like she was waiting for the rest of the question. I kept my face frozen for another several seconds, but she still just kept looking at me like she was waiting for me to do or say something.
“Were you staring at Misty?” I finally asked.
She at least had the decency to look abashed. She gave a very slight nod that could have just as easily been mistaken for a shrug or shake. I knelt down between the two of them and took their hands in mine.
“We have a long trip coming up. It is going to be dangerous and we need to help one another and work together. This will require cooperation. Do you both know what that word means?” I looked from one to the other expectantly and was relieved when I got nods from both. “Now, I don’t want to have to spend my time on this trip walking between you two girls. I need to be up front keeping my eyes open. I can’t watch you two and keep an eye out for zombies at the same time.”
There are times when you say something and are struck by how it sounds. I try to envision what my thoughts would have been if I ever considered just as recently as last year that a sentence like that was going to come out of my mouth. Now, it is the way of the world.
“Can I walk with you when we leave?” Thalia asked.
“This isn’t like before, sweetie,” I said with a shake of my head. “We have too many people and that means that we have to move differently.”
I could already tell by the look on her face that I was not making any sense to her. We had travelled as a group back when Steve was alive. Of course there had been far fewer people in our little band. The truth now was simply that we would have to move much more cautiously. We had to be ready for zombies, but we were also getting ready to march in and take something. We were, for lack of a better term, invaders.
Sure, the former occupants of the place we had our sights set on were all dead (as far as we knew), but there was no telling if anybody else had made the move yet to claim the place. We were a small army and we were about to go take something that may or may not belong to somebody else. Plus, don’t even get me started on how that camp came to be empty in the first place.
“But I like it here,” Thalia insisted. “And ever since stupid Misty came, all the bad things have happened. Why can’t she just go to this place by herself?”
I hoped that my open mouth went unnoticed. Is this what the growing animosity between these two girls is about? Is Thalia holding Misty to blame for the stuff that has gone down in the last several weeks? I shot a look at Misty. I guess I expected her to be angry or outraged at such a claim. Instead, she was just standing there, glaring at Thalia pretty much the same as she had been since I stepped in between them.
“Thalia, you can’t blame Misty for what has been going on,” I said.
The problem was, I really could not think of a good reason to give her as to why. Was it any different than the pair of socks that I wore all football season as my “lucky” socks? This was nothing more than coincidence, but to Thalia, all the bad that we had experienced in the past several weeks coincided with Misty’s arrival, therefore, she had to be the cause.
“I bet we wouldn’t be moving if Daddy Steve were here,” Thalia sniffed.
Okay, I thought, on that I have to agree. For one, I am pretty sure that there was no way he would have allowed Jon and Jake to do what they had done down in La Grande. However, Steve is not with us anymore and this entire group, which is now more than four times the size it was when he was alive, is sort of flapping whichever way the breeze takes us on any given day. I guess I was hoping that, once we get to
La Grande and settle it, things will calm down into something like it used to be.
“Can I tell you something about this new home?” I fixed on something that I had seen in my short visit. Thalia nodded her head. I noticed that Misty did as well. “This place has a great big park with a playground.”
“Just like Serenity?” Thalia asked with obvious interest.
“Yep,” I answered with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.
If I could sell her on this, maybe things would settle down for these two while we were on the road. Honestly, once we got to La Grande, there was so much room that these two could go for days without seeing each other.
“But…” I let that word hang in the air as I gathered up all my “inner-mom” channeling that I could muster, “…if you two can’t behave, well I just don’t see how you will be allowed to go to the park when we get there.”
I think I actually spotted a pair of halos appear over both girls’ heads. They both hit me with their best smiles and widest eyes that sparkled with innocence.
“I’ll behave,” they both said in unison.
Crisis averted, I headed back to the stairs where Melissa was waiting right beside her bags. A few others, most notably, Sunshine, Shelly, and Cheryl, stood in a group as well. They were all looking at me in a way that I was not comfortable with at all. I felt sort of like a bug under a microscope. It didn’t help that they all had nearly identical looks on their faces.
“You handled that well, Billy,” Melissa broke the silence as I edged around the gaggle of onlookers that did not seem to care that they were standing between me and Melissa’s bags.
“Thanks,” I said, not sure what else to say. I did my best to ignore the women who were still obviously staring as I grabbed the bag, hoisted it over my shoulder, and headed for one of the carts.
I didn’t dare look back when I heard giggling and whispering. If I lacked a basic understanding of children, I was probably in even worse shape when it came to women. All that extra room in La Grande was looking better every minute.
***
“I spotted at least five up past that second ridge and another dozen at least that are on our tail.” Jake had a drawn a very detailed map in the dust beside the road where we had currently stopped so that all the water containers could be filled from a waterfall.
“But if they have been so close for the past day, why are they keeping their distance?” I asked.
“It could be anything,” Jake said with a shrug. “They might be trying to see if we are bad guys. We do have quite a few women in our group as well as eight to ten kids. They could be seeing if we are treating them bad. Or…they could just be sizing us up to see if we are easy prey.”
“So no middle ground?” I quipped.
“I’m just offering both ends of the dog,” Jake said with his easy drawl. I noticed Carol smirk briefly.
“Maybe we should send somebody to try and make contact with them,” a short, skinny man with an accent that I could not place spoke up.
“That is an option,” Jake said, but I could tell he was dismissing it.
“If they are keeping their distance, I don’t see what the big deal is,” Sunshine said. “Are we really going to be that group that treats everybody like they are the enemy? And I for one think that it is a very good idea to send somebody to try and speak with them. It beats not knowing.”
“If they were interested in talking to us, I think they would have made some attempt,” Jon said sternly. I saw the look on Sunshine’s face and knew that he was not scoring any points with his girlfriend.
The conversation continued, but I zoned out on it as I began to form a plan in my head. I sorted through it and came up with all the arguments that I figured might come once I let this particular cat out of the bag. If this worked, just maybe it would solve a few of my problems as of late. Of course, if it failed, then I would probably end up dead…in which case, all of my problems would be solved in a manner of speaking.
“Let me try to approach them,” I spoke up as soon as I realized that there was a moment of silence.
Everybody looked at me, but each with a different kind of expression on their faces. Jon was stone, he wasn’t giving up anything; Sunshine looked confused; Jake had just a slight grin; Carol was nodding and seemed to be in agreement; the skinny guy was looking at me like I’d just interrupted the adults during an important conversation. That was the exact look I was hoping to capitalize upon.
“Look,” I explained once it was clear that nobody was going to respond to my statement, “I am the perfect choice. We don’t want to send one of the women, these could be bad folks and a woman might not come away from it in good shape. Jon and Jake are great for the job, but they could be seen as a threat if these people are on the fence…or, if we lose one, it really makes a dent in our armor. We don’t send one of the new people because we do not know them well enough.” The skinny guy made a rude remark. It was in a foreign language, but I knew a put down when I heard one. “I am just a kid…at least as far as somebody taking me based on my appearance would be concerned.”
I let it hang in the air for a moment. I saw a few nods. Jon was still keeping everything to himself, but I was pretty sure that if he were the only person to disagree—besides the skinny guy—then it would be a done deal. I kept scanning faces and waiting for somebody to speak. I was afraid to add anything else because I might say the wrong thing and undermine any progress that it looked like I had made with my explanation.
“Seems like the route we will have to take,” Jon finally spoke.
I could tell that he was holding something back. There was just a bit of tightness around his eyes. For a guy like him, that was about as much as you could hope for in the way of a tell if he was trying to hide something.
I looked around the group and saw everybody nod except for the skinny guy. I didn’t know what his problem was, but when this was all said and done, I would make it a point of pulling him up and finding out.
Then it hit me! I was about to go out alone to meet with a potential enemy…or friend. The bottom line was that they were giving me the go ahead to speak for the group. Sweet!
The meeting broke up and everybody sort of drifted off to their own little camps. We had set up in what had once been a rest area. The best part was that Sunshine had come up with the brilliant idea of having all the children spend the night up on top of the building that housed the toilets. If we got hit by zombies or anything else in the night, they would be out of the way.
I went to the cart with my stuff and started sorting through and finding what I felt I might need for my little mission. I would leave just before first light and head up to where we had seen them last before darkness fell. The fact that they were making absolutely no attempt to hide their location was pretty encouraging. That didn’t mean that I was going to head up there without being cautious…and armed.
***
“Remember, if you fire that weapon, help will be coming,” Jon said as he and I sipped some steaming hot water to take the morning chill out of our bones.
“And stop worrying so much,” I said with a smile.
That look had not left his face. I knew after just our brief exchange that he was worried that I would end up dead. I was not excited about that prospect either, and I would do all that I could to ensure that it did not happen.
“Don’t try to be a hero or anything foolish,” he lectured.
I knew it was the wrong time, but I was not able to suppress a small chuckle. His scowl got deeper and that tightness around his eyes almost looked painful.
“What’ so damn funny?”
“Just remembering a song my mom used to put on every once in a while when I was little. I think it was the first song I ever learned to sing that didn’t have something to do with Mary and her lambs, itsy-bitsy spiders, or stars that twinkle.” Just talking about it now, I could actually hear my mom’s voice in my head as she sang. “Billy, don’t be a hero…don’t be a fool
with your life…”
It took me a second to realize that I had let those words slip out—very off key. I also knew what song would be stuck in my head on a loop today.
“Crap,” Jon said with a deep sigh.
“What?”
“Now that song will be stuck in my head for who knows how long.”
“That makes two of us.”
We both smiled, and then, for the first time in I can’t remember how long…we laughed. It got worse the harder I tried to stop. Pretty soon, Jon and I were leaning on each other and cackling like lunatics. When it subsided, we both had to wipe our eyes. It was as if a dam had burst and we could not contain ourselves.
“Are you okay?” a voice made us both jump.
“Fine, darling,” Jon said, still just a little breathless.
Sunshine stepped out of the shadows. Holding her hand was Thalia with a concerned look on her face. The two came into the small circle of light that the camp fire was carving out in the perfect darkness of a dead world before the sun could come and chase it all away.
“Billy?” Thalia stepped up to me and grabbed my left hand with both of her small, dainty ones.
I was stunned at how fragile she suddenly seemed. I felt like I could crush her bones to dust with almost no effort. Yet, here was the tough little girl who had survived against the odds, fought off a zombie by herself until Steve came to her rescue…and killed her own dog when it had turned.
How could something so tough be so fragile? I thought.
“Please be careful.” Thalia pulled me down so that we were eye-to-eye. In the fire light, I could see the tears building.
“I will, I pro—” I started to answer, but she quickly put her hands on my mouth.
“Don’t promise. I don’t want any more promises,” she said with a strangled hitch in her voice.
I nodded and pulled her hands down from my mouth. “How about if I tell you that I will be as careful as I can, and try my best to come back in one piece?”
