Stepping closer to him, she reached up to trace the chiseled line of his smooth cheek. He looked so different without his light beard and new haircut. Refined and elegant. Perfect, and even angelic. He was absolute masculine beauty. More akin to a Fyreblood's leaner, sculpted features than the rugged ones of the Ixurians.
Her sisters had said that this was what had sent him over the edge. When he'd seen himself clean-shaven and stylishly dressed. Which made a lot of sense to her. In all the photos of him before he'd been disinherited, he'd been immaculately groomed, in the latest fashions. No hair out of place. No trace of a single stray whisker. It was as if a valet and fashion consultant had traveled with him to keep every fiber of clothing and hair in line at all times. As if it'd been beaten into him that he must never appear in public unless he was perfectly coifed, and regally composed.
Rigid and imposing. Commanding and arrogant.
There were times when he still bore traces of that. But for the most part, he'd shed his aristocratic persona for that of a wary, watchful predator. One who was ever vigilant and on guard. Even now, when they were alone.
He'd still positioned himself so that his back was to the wall and he was facing the door. No one could see him from any window. And his holster was open, with his coat pulled back to clear it so that he could draw his weapon if he had to.
Yet he was more relaxed with her and Vas than anyone else. In their presence, he would cross his arms over his chest. Even put his hands in his pockets. Around others, he kept his left hand hovered near his blaster at all times. Either on the blaster's grip, or his thumb hitched in the belt near it.
It made her feel incredibly special to know that she and Vasili, alone, held his trust.
And as she moved closer to him, his breathing turned ragged. He dipped his gaze to glance down her shirt. Still, he didn't move to touch her in anyway.
But the sudden bulge in his pants gave away the line of his thoughts. More than that, it shoved away any desire she had for dinner.
She smoothed the scarf around his neck. "How long has it been since you've slept with a female?"
"I don't remember," he said hoarsely.
She gaped. "Seriously?"
His gaze didn't move from her breasts as he swallowed hard. "Four, six ... thousand years."
"Jullien!" She splayed her hand on his chest.
Grimacing, he pressed his thumb against his brow as he thought it over. "Mmmm ... last time I was under contract. Edrinius '60 ... I think."
Aghast, she gaped at him. "That is literally five years ago."
"Yes," he said slowly. "Well aware of that fact. Hell, I probably don't even remember how to be with anyone else. For all I know, Androkyn aren't even doing it the same way anymore. They might even be using bells. Springs. I don't know. How would I know? At this point, I should cut things off and join the priesthood."
She laughed. "You poor baby. And here I thought I had it bad." She paused. "Wait ... I do have it that bad. Ah, crap. I have it worse. Yeah, I haven't been near a male since I lost my husband."
"Ah good, I won't feel so bad, then, when I screw it up. You won't remember, either."
Laughing, she kissed him lightly on his lips. "Has it really been that long for you?"
He brushed his hand through her hair and lifted a lock of it so that he could twirl it between his fingers. "Trust me, you'll find out all too soon that I'm not lying. I'm sure my ineptitude will be stellar and embarrassing. I'm just putting it out here early to prepare you not to expect much. Please, try to refrain from laughing as it will devastate what tiny, little ego I possess."
"Hmmm..." Ushara pushed herself away from him. She rooted through the bag to find the small box of condoms and wine. Passing the wine to Jullien, she put the groceries in the fridge and grabbed a light snack and glasses.
Jullien wasn't sure what was going on until she hooked her finger in his belt loop and pulled him after her. His heart began to race as she led him down the beige hallway to the most bizarrely feminine bedroom he'd ever seen in his life.
Yeah, this was not what he would have expected from the tough, serious-minded tadara of the Tavali Gorturnum Nation. It was so incredibly frilly and p-i-n-k.
And flowery.
Painfully so.
Not just pink. Bright, dark pink. Like if pink could bleed pink, it would bleed this particular shade of pink. He had to suppress a shudder over it. The only good thing about the room was the size of the bed. It had four posters that were carved into the shapes of white columns wrapped with winding vines of ivy and even pinker flowers. A smaller white and pink settee was placed in front of the bed with more pink planters of flowers on the floor. The room reminded him of a garden that had thrown up all over the place.
Ushara let go of him to deposit the food, glasses, and wine on the white nightstand before she headed to the corner where a collection of large, scented candles were set on the floor in front of a rustic arched mirror so that she could light them to bathe the entire area in a cheerful, warm glow.
Jullien paused in the center of the room to look up at the ornate white chandelier that had been carved into spiraling vines and glass flowers that cast more shadows on the ceiling. It gave the room a fairytale appearance and went with the pink garden motif.
"You okay?"
He scratched uncomfortably at his whiskers. "Yeah, just feeling the sudden need to do something extremely masculine."
She laughed before she blew out the match and placed it in a tiny bucket of sand. "You sound like Vas."
Once she had all the candles lit, she came up behind him and pulled his coat from his shoulders. She tossed it over the settee.
Jullien cupped her face in his hands as she unbuckled his holster. Her features were so delicate and fragile. And as he stared into those clear pale eyes, he lost what little was left of his battered soul to her. Slowly, he lowered his head, waiting for her to turn away and deny his kiss.
She didn't.
Instead, she sank her hand into his hair and held him close. At least until she broke from the kiss long enough to pull his shirt over his head and toss it to rest on top of his weapons. He flinched as she bared his scarred body. But she didn't seem to notice as she ran her hands over his skin and pulled him into her arms.
Even more nervous, Jullien swallowed as he gently undid her shirt, and slid his hand inside to touch her supple skin for the very first time.
Honestly, he expected her to slap him for it. But as he gently cupped her, she sucked her breath in sharply and covered his hand with hers, urging him on. He growled at the satiny feel of her flesh.
His senses reeled as every part of him burned for her, especially when he felt her undoing his pants so that she could stroke him. As soon as her fingers brushed against his cock, he almost came.
The intensity was so fierce, he had to pull away. Fast.
"Jullien?"
Unable to catch his breath, he bent over and raked his hand through his hair. Cursing, he struggled for control. "Sorry. I warned you it's been awhile. I just need a second to quit seeing stars."
Instead of being angry, she smiled at him and then slowly stripped the rest of her clothes off before she turned on a low, soft tune and lowered the lights to a gentle glow. "It's fine, handsome. Take your time."
That put him right back in business.
With interest.
Jullien was pretty sure his tongue was on the floor as he watched her slide sensuously over the bed. Rising up on her knees, she sat back with her thighs spread while she gently gyrated to the music and rolled her arms and shoulders in time to the beat.
Ushara smiled as she saw how fast Jullien removed the rest of his clothes and launched himself into the bed beside her. He playfully tackled her and rolled so that she was sprawled on top of his muscular body.
"Hi gorgeous," she teased.
"Where did you learn that dance?"
"Oh ... we need to talk. Fyrebloods have a very special kind of fertility dance we do. D
"No. Damn..." He ran his hand slowly over her breasts before he lowered his head to tease them with is tongue and lips.
And speaking of ... Ushara gasped as he tasted her with an unbelievable skill. Oh dear heavens! The things he could do with his tongue! He moved from one side to the other with a sensuous rhythm unlike anything she'd ever felt. It was so intense and incredible, so sensual and powerful that she actually came from it.
Unable to believe what he'd done, she stared in awe. "Jullien? What was that?"
Smiling as he laid her back on the bed, he slowly and methodically licked and teased his way down her stomach. "Did I forget to mention that I have a slight oral fixation? Hence my adolescent weight problem?"
She didn't know what he meant until he went a bit lower and lower still. Yeah ... that was not a slight nothing.
That was a major set of skills and an incredible fixation her prince possessed.
Crying out in pleasure, she buried her hand in his thick dark hair as he licked and teased her without mercy. She lost count of how many times he brought her to climax before he finally took mercy and rolled away to reach for the condoms.
No one had ever been that thorough with her. Her entire body was shaking and weak. He'd left no part of her untasted.
But there was a strange somberness to him now that she didn't quite understand as he quickly, and quietly secured the condom without her help. He wouldn't even meet her gaze. Rather he reached out and gently brushed his hand through her hair with a great sadness that didn't make sense.
When she tried to roll to embrace him, he kept her back to him and entered her that way. Jullien nuzzled his face against her hair as he held himself rigidly over her, with as little weight against her body as possible. He very carefully and slowly thrust against her hips--as if he was terrified of crushing or hurting her.
He was so tense around her, that she wasn't even sure if he was enjoying himself. Honestly, she didn't see how he could be. For that matter, she was surprised he wasn't cramping from the effort of holding his weight off her. Rather, he seemed more focused on touching her as little as possible, and on keeping the condom secured.
Then the instant he came, he carefully pulled out of her--again so quickly she wasn't sure he'd climaxed completely. Making sure to keep everything in place, he was off the bed so fast that she was stunned by it.
What the hell?
And when he returned to her room a few minutes later, fully dressed to reach for his coat, she was pissed off totally. "What are you doing?"
With a baffled expression, he glanced at the bed and floor. "Did I spill some or hurt you? I tried to be as clean and gentle as possible."
She gaped at him. "You don't just get up and leave."
Now he looked even more confused. "You don't?"
And it was her turn to be shocked. "Do you?"
"Don't you?"
"No, Jullien. You don't. Ever." Scooting out of bed, she went to him and pulled the coat out of his hands. She returned it to the settee. "Have you always had sex like that?"
He nodded.
She scowled at him. "Are you telling me that all your girlfriends treated you this way?"
His frown deepened. "I never had a girlfriend. Only paid companions. Their contracts were always standard, and very rigid with how much physical contact was permitted between us during sex, and what positions I was allowed so that I didn't cause them harm from my size. And how long I was permitted to stay after I finished."
"Let me guess. Get out immediately?"
Again, he nodded.
She pulled his shirt off and ran her hand over his scarred ribs. "I'm not with an agency. And I'm not a paid booty call. Now get back in bed and let me show you what it's like to be with someone who actually likes you, and wants to be with you."
There was a strange hint of reservation in his eyes as he peeled his boots and pants off, and obeyed her.
Once back in her bed, she realized just how bad it truly was. He really had no idea how to cuddle or hold someone in his arms. It would be funny if it didn't break her heart.
"Jules? Relax and stop being so tense. I'm not going to bite you."
He turned even more stiff and rigid. "What did you call me?"
She froze. "Jules. Does it bother you?"
"No. No one's ever used that one before." He looked so awkward, leaning back on her pillows as he struggled to get comfortable.
Shaking her head, she handed him a glass of wine. "I'm thinking we should have bought something stronger to relax you. I would have thought a prince would have spent a great deal of time lounging about in bed."
All the humor went out of his eyes.
Her stomach tightened immediately as she realized she'd pissed him off. "What'd I say?"
"Nothing. You just a hit a sore topic for me. And no, though I was oft accused of it, I was never allowed to lie about in my bed. Or anyone else's."
"Obviously." She brushed her hand over his brow as she watched the haunted demons dance behind his hazel eyes. How she wished she could banish them from him. But as she skimmed her hand over the harsh, multitude of scars on his body, she knew it was impossible. They were a pittance compared to the ones that marred his bloodied soul.
How could they have been so cruel?
She paused at the mark by his heart where his grandmother had come so close to killing him. Wanting to soothe his pain, she dipped her head to gently lave the scar.
Jullien ground his teeth as he felt the heat of Ushara's tongue on his flesh, and he shivered. No female had ever touched him like this. His past companions had all been disgusted by his body. Revolted by his touch, they'd barely tolerated him in their bed. Seldom had they looked at him.
None had ever wanted to explore him the way she did. Never mind cuddle or hold him once it was over.
His breathing ragged, he cupped her pale head in his hand and marveled at the silken texture of her white, wavy hair. He'd never seen or felt anything like it. Or her skin either, for that matter. It was so pale and beautiful. Unblemished and perfect.
There wasn't a single mark on her.
It was as if the gods themselves profaned harming something so delicately pure and precious. He still couldn't believe she allowed him to touch her without conditions or restrictions. No female had ever granted him such an honor.
Smiling at him, she took the wine from his hand and set it aside, then slowly nibbled his scarred fingers. Chills spread over his body and sent a wave of searing heat straight to his groin, making him instantly hard again. And when she began to suck and tongue his thumb, he growled in pleasure.
Then cursed as he realized what else it was doing to him.
Ushara scowled as Jullien abruptly pulled away. "What's wrong?"
Cupping himself, he looked around her room and moved uncomfortably. "Do you have a towel?"
"For what?"
He gave her a strange look. "I assume you would know since you were married and have a child."
"You came again already?"
Offended, he shook his head. "No. But I am starting to leak."
"Yeah..." she dragged the word out, still confounded by his actions. "Males do that."
He gave her a confused stare. "Which is why I need a towel so as not to soil your bed sheets."
Ushara gaped as she finally understood. "Keramon, I don't expect you to be tidy in bed with me. It's okay." She pulled him back into bed and forced him to uncover himself so that she could stroke him and prove that she didn't care in the least whether or not he soiled her sheets. "I don't mind. They will wash."
Jullien couldn't fathom her tolerance for him. No female had ever treated him this way. The others he'd been with had been so repulsed by his body that they'd always acted as if every part of him was onerous and disgusting.
Biting his lip, he groaned as Ushara gently cupped and stroked him. And when she bent down to take him into her mouth, he found a whole new level of paradise he'd never known. His entire body shook from it.
Unable to believe this was real, he gently ran his hand through her hair and marveled at the miracle he'd been granted. He finally understood what Trajen had meant about finding peace in her arms. Right here. Right now, he was completely bare to her. And not just physically. Emotionally. He'd never been more honest with anyone else. She knew things about him that he'd never shared before.
And still she accepted him.
She was his Darling.
While he had no understanding or concept of love, he suspected that what he felt for her might be that. Or maybe it was cold-blooded terror.
He honestly had no way of distinguishing between the two. All he knew was that right now, she owned a part of him that no one ever had. For her, alone, he would kill or die.
Until this moment, he'd never once been touched by a kind hand. Never knew what it felt like to be wanted or desired.
And while he watched her tasting him, something inside him shattered wide open. Searing and hot, it flooded his blood with emotions he couldn't even begin to explain or sort through. With an audible gasp, he arched his back as she brought him to climax. He fully expected her to pull away and curse him for the lack of control.
Instead, she gently teased and wrung every last bit from his body until he was panting and weak. Only then did she slowly kiss her way up his abdomen and chest to lay herself over him like a soft, warm blanket.
Jullien held her against him as his head spun. He buried his hand in her soft hair and kissed her forehead while he savored this one moment of pure bliss. He wanted to say something profound, but words failed him. There was nothing that could convey the true depth of what he felt, and the last thing he wanted was to trivialize it.
Ushara looked up to catch the most open and unguarded expression on Jullien's face. His heart and soul were bared to her. Reaching up, she smiled as she brushed her fingers over his lips. "You are so handsome."
He shook his head. "I wish I still had something to give you."
"I don't need things, Jullien. Things have never mattered to me."
"I know." Rolling with her, he lay on his side so that he could reverently toy with her breasts.
Ushara bit back a smile as she watched him tentatively explore her body, as if terrified she was going to slap him or pull away at any second. "Don't worry. I'm not going to take it away from you."
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