She laughed out loud. "And modest to boot." Clearing her throat, she shook her head and struggled for composure. "Be welcome and blessings to you."
"And to you, High Mother."
As Ushara stepped up, the priestess narrowed her gaze on her. "Are you the one who brought him here?"
"I am, High Mother."
She smiled. "The goddess is most pleased with you, mu tina. Rare is the soul that sees the heart beneath its worldly trappings. Rarer still is the one who isn't afraid to walk her own path through the brambles that strive to prick her heels and cause her pain. For some thorny paths are well worth the agony, for the rewards they bring are beyond measure."
"Thank you."
Once she was blessed, Ushara joined Jullien on the other side of the entrance and waited for Vasili.
Ryna continued to glare a hole through her.
Irritated, she walked over to her older sister who had gone back to having white-blonde hair again. Normally, Ryna dyed it a dark brown or rich caramel to help blend with other Andarions since she tended to fly into their territory more than the rest of them.
"What?" Ushara asked in agitation.
"I'm not talking to you." She turned her back on Ushara and spoke to Vasili instead. "Did you know your matarra, my irritating little sister, introduced this male to your aunts and not me? Did you? The gaggling gander of geese, they get to meet him. What? Is she ashamed of the only sister she has with a brain?"
Vasili stood there, wide-eyed and terrified as if afraid to even attempt an answer or comment for her.
Then she turned to Jullien. "I'm Daryna or Ryna, by the way. You can't miss me as the only female sibling she has who doesn't make you wish you were headless or on another planet when I'm in a room with you."
Jullien glanced about nervously. "Um ... hi?"
"It's a pleasure." She turned back to Ushara and glared at her. "You're such a thoughtless creature. Call me later."
Ushara let out an irritated sigh as Ryna flounced off. "Have I mentioned that all my sisters are crazy?"
"No, but I'm beginning to wonder."
Smiling, she took his hand and kissed it. "I have to go sit with the chorus. You two behave."
Vasili led him to an empty bench on the left, near the back of the open temple that had a dark burgundy canvas spread across ornate, arched columns. They sat down toward the middle, and almost instantly a group of males swarmed them. One he knew. Two more he recognized from his "welcoming" party in the bay. The rest....
Well, judging by their similarity in features, he assumed they must be some of Ushara's seventy-two relatives. Strangely amused by them, Jullien leaned over toward Vas. "Let me guess ... your uncles?"
"And cousins." He glanced over his shoulder. "My gre paran and grasparan are on the pew behind us."
"Nice.... Glaring at me?"
Vasili nodded vigorously. "With a lot of hatred."
"Awesome. I'm not as paranoid as I thought." Jullien straightened and flashed his link on the icon for the liturgy so that he could review their schedule.
Vasili tugged at his sleeve. "Yet you appear amazingly calm."
"Well, they'll either gut me or they won't. No use worrying about it until happens. Although..." He scowled at the huge bastard on his left. "I do wish this lovely beast would either buy me dinner or put a bit more space between us before he publicly fondles me."
Muffled laughter erupted from the bench behind them. "You heard the boy, Kirill. Move over a bit and let him breathe."
Smoke literally came out of Kirill's nostrils before he complied.
Jullien turned around to see the elder Fyreblood seated next to Ushara's father. "Thank you for protecting my innocence, Gur Tana."
"By the gods, you are a cheeky little bastard, darkheart."
"Vidarri! Mind your tongue in temple!" Scowling at him, she softened her expression as she leaned forward, toward Jullien and extended her hand. "I'm Ushara's yaya. Nadya. It's a pleasure to meet you. Dagger, was it?"
Pressing her hand between his, he bowed over it. "Yes, Ger Tarra. And the honor is all mine. I assure you. Until this moment, I thought Ushara took all her beauty from her mother. Now, I can't tell who she favors after more. Never has any family been blessed with more amazing females than yours."
She tsked at him. "You are a handsome charmer."
"I only speak the truth."
Kirril curled his lip. "Now can I hit him, Graspa?"
Vidarri actually considered it. "I'm quickly getting there."
Vasili snickered.
"Traitor," Jullien said under his breath.
He looked up with a stricken expression.
"I was only joking." Jullien put his arm around him and hugged him. "Relax, mi tana. I'd never be upset at you. Just don't get upset at me if I have to trip you to be an obstacle for them should I be forced to make a hasty run for the door."
He laughed again.
"Shh!" Nadya snapped at them all from her seat. "Service is starting."
Sobering, they rose as the chorus procession started and began leading the priestesses toward the dais and altar. It was only then that Jullien could truly appreciate how many of his enemies surrounded him.
And how much of an odd Androkyn out he was in this massive crowd. Yeah, this might not have been best idea.
Sadly, it wasn't his worst, either. Although, it was starting to rank up there rather high on his list of, "oh shit, I shouldn't have done that."
It's not the first time you've stuck out like feces in a punch bowl. And at least none of the individuals around him were pissed-off inmates who'd been imprisoned and tortured by his grandmother without due process.
Nor was he an unarmed, untrained child.
He flinched as a bad flashback tore through him. It took him a second to control his breathing and keep his composure. To maintain himself and remember where he was.
That he was safe. In control.
He placed his hand on Vasili's shoulder to remind himself that this was real. This wasn't a dream or hallucination. The other was just a bad memory. He wasn't there anymore.
Breathe, Jullien. Breathe.
But there had been a time when he couldn't control the panic attacks. When they had rendered him useless and left him a cowering wreck of volatile emotions.
And he wasn't the only one who'd suffered because of them in the past. Talyn Batur had been taken and brutalized because he'd been too far gone with one to stop his cousins. Had he been able to think straight and to control his panic attacks then, he would have never allowed Merrell or Chrisen to arrest and exile the boy. Their stupidity wouldn't have sounded so rational to him that day. But when Talyn had violently attacked him, Jullien hadn't seen a boy coming for him, he'd gone to the darkest places of his past and had lashed out from there like a cornered dog. Talyn had paid dearly for the wrongs others had done him.
It was why Jullien didn't complain about being judged or punished for the ills of his family. Why he accepted it as his due.
He'd committed his own sins and wrongs while trying to protect himself.
And he hated himself for it.
Squeezing his eyes shut, he forced his thoughts away from the past. Away from the pain. He might have been a prince, but the whole time he'd lived in that palace, he'd lived like a feral animal, in constant survival mode. Striking out at everyone who ventured near him.
Let it go and breathe.
Jullien listened as they began to play a soft harp, electric piano, and drum, and watched as Ushara and the chorus danced and led them in song. Unlike the somber, depressing hymns he'd been taught, theirs were uplifting. They were about coming together and uniting. Standing together and defending each other. Being a family. And as they sang, Vasili hooked his arm through Jullien's.
A foreign warmth filled him, and before he could stop it, a forgotten dream sprang out the mental dungeon where he'd kept it locked down deep. It was the one where he was actually part of a real family.
He placed hi
A weird surge of protective possessiveness rose up inside him so fiercely that for a moment, he couldn't breathe. It was primal and raw. Overwhelming. He hadn't felt anything like this since the night he'd seen the guard strangling his mother. A furious need to make sure that no one and nothing came near what he loved.
Loved ...
Jullien went cold as that random thought rattled around his three existing brain cells and iced every part of his being. As much as he wanted to deny it, the truth slapped him right in the face.
I love them.
Both Vasili and Ushara. The thought humbled him and he wasn't really sure what to do with it. Honestly, it scared him and made him want to run screaming for the nearest door. He'd never really loved anyone before. No one had allowed him to.
As the song finished and Jullien grappled with his rising panic, Vas grinned at him and sat down.
Knowing it would be bad form to run out on the service at this time like a screaming lunatic on an acid high, Jullien sat down, too, and forced himself to calm down.
He'd just begun to level out his panicked breathing when Kirill hissed and jumped beside him for an annoyed little bit of fluff who pounded on the male's beefy leg with her tiny fist until Kirill moved it aside to make room so that she could squeeze past him. With angry eyes, baby Nadya glared up at Kirill as she wiggled to the other side of his legs and then she smiled at Jullien and held her arms up toward him.
It took him a second to realize that the younger Nadya wanted him to pick her up again. "You want to sit with me?" he whispered.
She nodded eagerly.
Since her mother was in the very front chorus with Ushara, he glanced over his shoulder to make sure it was all right with her grandparents. When neither moved to murder him, he slowly scooped the little girl up and awkwardly perched her on the edge of his knee beside Vasili. She put one booted foot on Vasili's thigh, then leaned back against Jullien's chest and began sucking her thumb. Within a few minutes, she was sound asleep in his arms.
Completely at a loss, Jullien had no idea what to do. He'd never had a child fall asleep on him before. For that matter, he'd never really been around children. In a family that tended to eat its young before they grew into adults, they weren't in abundant supply.
So when it came time for the sacraments, he stayed in his seat with her and allowed the others to line up for the altar.
Instead of returning to her own seat in the chorus after she'd taken hers, Oxana came and sat beside him. "Sparn said that she'd escaped him by climbing under the pews. He thought she'd gone to my parents, but I panicked when I didn't see her with them for sacraments, and then Vas told me she was with you. Are you okay?"
"Fine. She's been asleep the whole time."
"I can wake her."
"You don't have to. I can carry her home, if you want. She's really not heavy."
Nadya blinked and yawned. "Mama?"
"Right here, Naddicakes."
Rubbing her eyes, she fell forward, into Oxana's arms. "Is temple over?"
"Almost."
She frowned as she looked at Jullien. "Is Dagger my new basha?"
Laughing, she kissed her daughter's cheek. "No, honey, he's just Ushara's friend."
"Okay, but I like him. He smells nice. Can we make him my basha anysways?"
Oxana was still laughing as they stood for the final prayer and dismissal.
As the males of Ushara's family attempted to swarm him again, the females took flank positions around him as a layer of protection. That stunned him completely. The fact that it included her mother and grandmother shocked him most of all.
"Go on with all of you," her grandmother said, gently pushing the males back. "You can punch at him later. But let the boy alone for now. You've all growled at him enough for one morning."
As the males stepped away and left, Nadya the elder turned around with a pointed stare that reminded Jullien of a royal interrogator about to begin a torture session. "And what is your lineage, Ixurian?"
Jullien refused to flinch or let her know how much that question stung. Since Andarions were matriarchal, her opinion mattered and she was asking him for his own mother's opinion where he was concerned.
His shoulder itched, reminding him all too well how little his family valued him. "I'm Outcast, Ger Tarra."
"You weren't born without caste. What was it before you angered your mother and she slashed you from her lineage?"
"Does it matter?"
Her stare turned harsh and biting. "Depends on your intentions with my Ushara. What are they?"
"Yaya," Ushara chided. "What are you doing?"
"You bring him to temple, with your son. I'm doing what is my right." She faced Jullien with a ball-shriveling glare.
Ushara wanted to kill her family as she recognized the hurt in Jullien's eyes. It was subtle and unless you knew him as well as she did, you wouldn't recognize it.
To his credit, Jullien held his ground and didn't waver or show any weakness whatsoever, which was a good thing when dealing with her grandmother. If there was one thing Nadya Altaan hated, it was any kind of enervation in any creature. If she sniffed out vulnerability, she went for the throat of it.
It was what Chaz had despised most about her and it had kept them at odds the entire time Ushara had been married to him. The only reason he'd been allowed into the family at all was because they'd been pledged as small children. Years before her grandmother had discovered Chaz's dislike for fighting and weaponry.
Two things the prince had never shirked from.
When Jullien spoke, his voice was smooth and steady with its rich, noble accent. "My intentions toward her are extremely honorable, Ger Tarra. But I can give her nothing material as I have nothing left to give. That being said, I would gladly lay my life down to protect hers. And Vasili's. I would never allow anyone to do harm to either of them."
"Are you Tavali?"
"I am not."
"Then you need to go and find another female to shame. My grastiya is the vice admiral of this Nation and the well respected widow of a former admiral. I will not have her reputation tarnished by being linked to an Outcast comet slag such as you. Do you understand?"
He didn't so much as blink under the cruelty of those harsh words. But then, he'd heard worse from his own parents. "I understand, Ger Tarra. Forgive me for my dishonor to your family."
Ushara gaped as he started away. "Jullien, you stay right here." She gently took his hand in hers to keep him by her side. It was only then that she felt how rigid and tense he was. That she felt the slightest trembling in his touch.
Her grandmother glared at her.
Yet for the first time in her life, she defied their matriarch. "There are a few things he left out. He has nothing material to give because he traded his extremely valuable royal signet ring to pay for the repairs on Oxana's ship, and refused to take any repayment for the parts or labor. And in case you missed that first part, Yaya. His royal signet ring."
Her grandmother curled her lip in disgust. "You dare to bring one of them before me."
Ushara lifted her chin. "Depends. Are you going to slash my lineage, too?"
Jullien released her hand. "Shara, please. Don't fight with your family. Not over me. Stop before it's too late and you say something you can't take back." He urged her toward her grandmother. "I can't stand being the wedge that divides you from them. Take it from someone whose entire family ate itself whole. It's not worth the trauma. Don't let my blood poison yours. I'll go."
"But--"
"No," he said, sharply, cutting her off. "Mend this with them before it's too late. You've no idea how rare and valuable your family ties are. You take for granted what the rest of us would sell our souls for and I won't let you sever something that no amount of money can replace."
And with that, he was gone.
Tears welled in her eyes as she turned back toward her mother and grandmother who appeared far too satisfied with themselves.
"It's for the best."
"For whose best, Mom?" she asked.
"Everyone's."
But as Ushara saw the stricken expression on Vasili's face she knew better. It wasn't best for him. He wanted a father of his own so badly that it'd burned in her heart for years that she'd been unable to find a male tolerable before this.
And if she was honest, it definitely wasn't in her best interest.
Her grandmother frowned. "Would you really choose a darkheart over your family, Shara?"
She swallowed hard against the tears that choked her before she answered that with a question of her own. "Before you force me to that decision, Yaya, you might want to stop and think if you want to lose me and Vasili over your hatred of the Ixurians."
CHAPTER 9
Heartsick and weary, Jullien ran his hand along the outside panel of the Stormbringer. Though she was an older ship, she was a thing of absolute beauty and grace. Antique with fine, subtle lines. Unlike modern ships, she'd been custom designed by a master engineer. Not stamped out in a factory by cold mechas and drones. This one had a human touch to her. Someone had taken personal care with her construction, and left no detail overlooked.
"Should I leave you two alone?"
He scowled at the familiar voice. Turning his head, he was surprised to find the high priestess there in regular Tavali gear. Strange, the High Mother seemed much tinier now than she had in her temple garb. Her white blond hair was pulled back into a severe bun. With her entire face painted stark white over her already extremely pale skin, she still had the black Samari clan wings drawn around her white eyes, with streaks of gem blue bisecting the wings and her lips. Even as an elder female, she was strikingly beautiful and must have been incredibly breathtaking in her younger years. Yet the loveliest part of her was her compassion and kindness. The way she had of looking at others as if she actually cared about them--like a mother should look at the children she loved and cherished. Not that he had personal experience with that. He'd only seen that expression when other maternal beings had gazed at their young, or when his own mother glanced at his brother and Nykyrian's children.
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