Since she’d been in the refuge, she found that this was quite a common pattern.
‘It’s the universal language of abuse,’ Betty said, tossing back her glossy mane of hair, her features hardening. ‘It’s men wanting power over their partners and to control them and manipulate them.’
Sometimes she said it was mental and emotional abuse without the physical side and that was just as painful and unendurable.
With a sigh, Alice got up from the seat and left the garden, hands stuck in the pockets of her blue gilet. In an effort to take her mind off these sad thoughts, she concentrated on admiring everything as she walked along. The extensive woodland and greenery was alive and cheerful with robins, blue tits, chaffinches and wrens. In one pond she passed, she saw water fowl. There was a heron near another. In yet another, there were mute swans, coots, moorhen, mallards, little grebe and tufted ducks nesting in the islands. She sighted a roe deer. Soon she found herself in a clearing called the ‘kickabout area’. There was a football match going on and quite a crowd had gathered to watch it and cheer on their side.
Suddenly, to her horror, Alice caught sight of a familiar face. It was Mr Clarke, their next-door neighbour from Pollokshaws. He had seen her, was actually waving to her. Often he chatted to Paul over the garden fence. He was a widower and, she guessed, a bit lonely and glad of a talk while both he and Paul were out working in their gardens. She used to take a cold beer out for each of them. But of course she knew she daren’t relax and stand and talk with them.
Mr Clarke was coming eagerly towards her. She turned away as if she hadn’t noticed him and began retracing her steps, quickly, until she was running through the trees and on to the Balgray Hill and across to her building. Her heart was hammering in her chest. Her mind was in a chaos of panic. She didn’t know how she got into the lift, up to the twenty-third floor and out onto the landing. The dismal graffiti-covered landing looked threatening now. Her fingers fumbled frantically in her jacket for the door key. When she found it, it slipped through her violently shaking fingers and clattered on to the floor. Sobbing now, she hammered on the door.
‘It’s me, Rita. Open the door.’
The door opened cautiously but Alice pushed at it and almost knocked Rita over in her haste to get inside, bang the door shut again and put on the chain.
‘What’s wrong,’ Rita cried out, ‘and where’s your key?’
‘Oh God, I’ve dropped it outside.’
‘On the street?’
‘No, just outside the door.’
‘Go and sit down. I’ll get it and bring it through to you.’
Weakly Alice did as she was told and was collapsed back in one of the easy chairs when Rita came into the room and dropped the key on to her lap.
‘I’ve just made a pot of tea and you look as if you need a cup.’
‘Thanks, Rita.’
Rita had been washing her black hair and it clung wetly to her scalp, making her face look not just thin but gaunt. In a matter of minutes, she had brought the cups and poured out the tea. After they each had a few sips, Rita said, ‘What on earth got you into such a state? Did you see your husband? Did he see you?’
‘Just as bad. Our next-door neighbour. He’s sure to tell Paul.’
‘Where? Inside the building?’
‘No, in the park.’
‘Well, that doesn’t mean he knows where you live. He didn’t follow you, did he?’
Alice’s face twisted with anxiety. ‘I don’t think so. I ran in among the trees and I didn’t look back. He might have. Oh God, I hope not.’
‘The chances are you’d know the park better than him. Within a couple of minutes, you’d be out of his sight among the trees. You’d be away from the park, across the road and into the building before he’d even got his bearings. Don’t worry, Alice. Relax and drink up your tea. Take one of your sleeping tablets and have an early night. Then in the morning you can talk to Betty about it. I’m sure she’ll say the same. Nobody’s going to find you up here. And they’d never let any man into the house, that’s for sure.’
Alice nodded. Rita thought again how young Alice looked and how pretty she was, with her crown of blonde curls. In this state, she seemed even prettier with her gaze wide and appealing and her skin flushed rosy pink. She hoped for both their sakes that what she’d just said was true. That no men would be allowed in the house and they’d be safe.
‘The children asleep?’
‘Yes, I managed to get them down early, thank goodness. They were tired out wandering about all day with Dorothy. They’ve got me exhausted now. We borrowed a ball from the playroom and went over to the park for a so-called game of football earlier on.’
The mention of football brought the scene of the football match vividly into Alice’s mind again. She wished with all her heart that she’d looked back to see if Mr Clarke had followed her. Even if he hadn’t, Paul would very soon know that she must live in the Balgray Hill area. Admittedly, the Balgray Hill wasn’t the only side of the park. It was also bounded by Broomfield Road and Balornock Road. He would know, however, that she couldn’t afford to live in those other roads. It was common knowledge that some high-rise buildings were favourite places for the Housing Department to put people like herself. In her particular building, there certainly were plenty of people who had some problem or another. Some were unemployed and on the dole. Some were immigrants. Some were known as ‘problem families’. From what she could see of the youths hanging about the place, they were problems all right. Then of course there were the refuges, or ‘safe houses’. She didn’t feel very safe right now.
‘Forget it,’ Rita urged. ‘Will I switch on the TV? Maybe that would help take your mind off it.’
‘What did we do,’ Alice asked, ‘to deserve the life we had, Rita?’
‘We didn’t do anything. How many times do the girls have to tell you? You mustn’t blame yourself. Your husband was a selfish, power-mad control freak. A right manipulative bastard. He would have acted the same to you even if you had been an angel straight from heaven. It wasn’t your fault, Alice. Any more than what my dirty pervert of a husband did to me was my fault.’
Alice sighed.
‘It’s just, I wish it could have been different. I loved him and, before we were married, he was so nice …’
‘I’ll bet. So was mine. A good laugh as well. The life and soul of the party. All the women thought he was great. Still do, I expect. If only they knew.’
‘Do you know the best thing about here?’ Alice suddenly asked.
‘We’re safe.’
‘That too but it’s the fact that people like Betty and Dorothy believe us, are one hundred per cent on our side. It’s being believed!’
Rita had begun to blow-dry her wet hair.
‘How about if I ask Dorothy if she’ll look after the kids tomorrow and you and I give ourselves a treat to cheer ourselves up? Go to the pictures maybe? Or a wander round the shops and a cup of tea in a nice restaurant. I’ve never been to that Willow Tearoom above the jeweller’s in Sauchiehall Street. Have you?’
‘No but I’m all unnerved.’
‘I don’t blame you but I was just thinking, it would help us both if we could get out and keep our minds occupied with other things. We’re not helping ourselves sitting cooped up here in misery. That’s letting the bastards win.’
‘But will you be all right, Rita?’ Alice knew only too well that Rita was also afraid to venture far from the safe house.
Rita said, ‘Hopefully, if we stick together, we should be all right. Even if, God forbid, one or other of the bastards did see us, they wouldn’t give themselves a showing up in front of anyone else.’
Rita had a point. That and the hot sweet cup of tea were beginning to make Alice feel more optimistic.
‘Right enough. Mr Clarke wouldn’t know what direction I’d taken once I was in among the trees. And there’s so many houses for miles all around the park.’
‘And people from all ov
er Glasgow visit Springburn Park. Even people from further away than Glasgow. You could have been living in Edinburgh or anywhere and just through in Glasgow for the day.’
As usual, when any of the women tried to support each other, they began to get quite carried away.
Hope sprang eternal.
10
‘This is your new flatmate, Mrs Sandra Elliot,’ Betty announced to Janet and Mary.
Janet said, ‘How do you do’ and proffered her hand to the apprehensive-looking girl with brown hair and wide eyes staring up from a fringe of hair hanging over her brow.
Mary said, ‘Hello, hen. Don’t worry. You’ll be aw right wi’us. And Betty’s a wee gem.’
‘Not very wee,’ Betty laughed. ‘But who cares?’
‘No’ us anyway, hen. You can look the size of an elephant and you’ll still be a wee angel to us. Isn’t that right, Janet?’
Janet smiled. Mary’s common speech and manners still embarrassed her but she’d come to realise that Mary was, nevertheless, a good-hearted person and had certainly been kind to her.
‘Yes, Betty is very supportive to us all.’
‘Here, I’m away before my head gets too big for my hat.’ Betty laughed again. ‘The pair of you make yourselves useful and show Sandra around. I’ll see you tomorrow morning when I come back on duty, Sandra. Don’t worry, you’re going to be fine.’
After Betty left, Mary said, ‘Sit down, hen. Make yourself at home.’
‘Perhaps we should show Sandra her room first,’ Janet ventured.
‘Oh aye, right enough. Well, you do that, Janet, and I’ll make us a bite to eat. OK?’
‘Very well, just follow me, Sandra. Is it all right if we call you Sandra?’
Sandra nodded. She looked very young, in her early twenties at most.
‘Here we are. As you can see, it is a pleasant, comfortable room. And do please have a look at the view. Isn’t that magnificent?’
Sandra nodded again.
‘Where is your luggage, dear?’ Janet enquired, adding gently, ‘Or did you not manage to bring any?’
Suddenly Sandra’s young face overflowed with tears. Janet took her into her arms and patted the girl’s heaving shoulders.
‘Now, now, it doesn’t matter. Betty will see to all that. We look after each other here. You’ll get used to it. It’s very different for me too, being in such a place. I came from a lovely villa in Bearsden but I have settled in now and so will you. Indeed, I’m grateful to have found the place. It’s so helpful. Every other Friday, for instance, Betty and Dorothy organise a get-together for a cup of tea and a chat with the other women across the landing and also some women who have left here and are happily settled in a house of their own. They were safe here and were able to grow stronger and then move on. It is so reassuring to meet them and talk with them. This place is well named, believe me, as a refuge.’
‘Is it really safe?’
‘Absolutely, rest assured. I personally would have preferred the flat to have been situated in a quieter, more respectable building. Nevertheless, one gets used to the riff-raff element outside and one just ignores what’s happening on the other floors. In here, we are all right, we understand each other’s problems. We help each other and we are safe.’
‘Thank you, thank you for being so kind.’
‘Tuts, I have done nothing. Come now and enjoy a cup of tea with us. You’ll begin to feel a bit better after that. By the way, Mary always has her own pot of tea at her elbow. She’s a terrible tea jenny. She stews tea and drinks it all day.’ Janet shuddered. ‘It must taste vile.’
As Janet thought, the tea helped Sandra to calm down.
‘Fancy the bastard battering a frail wee lassie like you!’ Mary said, topping up her cup from her brown striped teapot. ‘See men!’
‘He was so different before we were married. I really loved him and I thought he loved me.’ Her brown eyes widened. ‘I wonder if I disappointed him in some way and that’s why he changed.’
Mary said, ‘He did batter you, didn’t he?’
Sandra nodded. ‘I had to hide in cupboards or up in the loft. It was the drugs, you see. He started taking drugs. Then after a while, if he couldn’t get any, he went absolutely mad.’
‘Aw, a druggie?’ Mary groaned. ‘They’d batter their granny to get enough cash to feed their habit.’
‘I believed everything he said at first but now I can’t trust anything he says and I never know what crazy thing he might do. He’s got worse and worse and the last time, I sent for the police. He was arrested. He’ll never forgive me for that. If he finds me, he’ll kill me.’
She was beginning to tense up again and stare apprehensively up from under her fringe.
‘He won’t find you, don’t worry. But I can understand how you feel,’ Janet said. ‘We all go through the same, feeling frightened we’ll be found, I mean. But it’s never happened. Betty says she’s been in the job for many years and it’s only happened once, ages and ages ago, and it wasn’t here. It was up in Luss, I think she said. Some little village anyway, years and years ago. They got rid of the man without any problem. The police saw to that and the woman got an interdict – I think that’s some sort of restraining order – put on him. They moved the woman to another place as well. But that was just one case in years and it wasn’t here. Nothing ever happens here, Betty says.’
‘I hope she’s right.’
‘Try and relax,’ Janet soothed. ‘You’re perfectly safe now. Have a piece of cake. It’s from Marks & Spencer’s. They have such good quality food, I always say.’
‘It’s so sad because before he started on drugs, you couldn’t meet a nicer man.’
‘Och aye,’ Mary’s tone was sarcastic, ‘I’ll believe you, hen.’
They had another cup of tea and Sandra began to visibly relax as they chatted together. Later she helped set the table for supper once she was shown where everything was kept.
‘We all do our own shopping and make our own meals, usually,’ Janet explained. ‘We each have our own food cupboard and shelf in the fridge-freezer. It’s a big fridge-freezer so there’s plenty of room. And don’t worry, you can have a share of my macaroni cheese tonight.’
‘And my porridge in the morning, hen. And if you don’t feel able, I’ll get your messages tomorrow. Have you got any cash at all?’
‘Yes, the Women’s Help office advised me to put money aside and have my marriage certificate and birth certificate and health insurance and medical card, all that kind of thing, kept handy. That was before I plucked up courage to leave but I knew I would have to make the decision eventually. I got so frightened.’
‘You haven’t a Glasgow accent, Sandra. Do I detect an Edinburgh one?’
‘Yes, I originally belonged to Edinburgh.’
‘Such a lovely city.’
‘Since my father and mother were killed in a road accident, I’ve never felt the same about the place. Of course, I realise the traffic and the roads are just as bad everywhere else.’
‘Fancy you losing your mammy and daddy,’ Mary said. ‘As if that wasn’t enough without that bastard making your life hell.’
‘Have you no relations?’ Janet asked.
‘I have a married sister in Edinburgh. Happily married, thank goodness. I didn’t want her to be worried by my problems or put in any danger from my husband. So I’ve never told her. She lived abroad with her husband for a while, of course, so I never had the chance. I’ll have to write or phone before long, though, or she’ll begin to wonder what’s happened.’
‘She can come and visit you if you want her to but her man won’t be allowed in, hen. It’s a strict rule here. No men, not even daddies or grandpas, are allowed over the door. Boys are allowed to stay with their mammies if they’re under sixteen but older weans like that aren’t allowed any pals in. We’ve got to know who’s who, y’see. There’s got to be rules. Everything’s for being on the safe side, y’see.’
‘Obviously everything’s b
een thought of. That makes me feel a lot better.’
‘Oh aye. See Betty and Dorothy. They think of everything. Born for the job, so they are.’
‘They have their own problems, of course,’ Janet said. ‘That is why they are so understanding and sympathetic. They are both divorced, they told me.’
‘Aye, that’s true. But aw the same, no’ everybody with a divorce is as good and hard-working as them two. They haven’t even a cleaner. They do everything themselves, so they do. We think oursels lucky, don’t we, Janet?’
‘Oh yes, indeed we do,’ Janet agreed.
‘And no’ everybody would have bothered about me with my drink problem.’
Sandra looked taken aback.
‘You have a drink problem?’
‘I’m getting to grips with it. I’ve never had a drink since you’ve been here, have I, Janet?’
‘No, indeed. You have been very good, Mary. We are all proud of you.’
‘Every time I crave a drink now, I just have a wee cup of tea instead.’
‘Have you met Alice Donaldson and Rita Jamieson, Sandra?’ Janet asked. ‘They share the other safe house.’
‘No.’
‘I expect Betty will introduce you tomorrow. She would want you to get settled in first.’
‘Do you think I could borrow some notepaper and an envelope? I’d feel better if I wrote to Patricia right away. Patricia’s my sister.’
‘I think I might have a notelet left.’ Janet rose and went through to her room. In a minute or two she returned. ‘I’m afraid it’s only a small one. Will that do?’
‘Yes, thank you. It’s just to let her know where I am. I’ll explain everything when I see her.’
A Deadly Deception Page 6
