by P. S. Power
I thought about it for a minute, I kind of got the idea, that I was supposed to imagine what he said as well as I could and pretend it was real and if he suggested it, make whatever it was actually happen. Even if that meant playing make believe or something like that. I’d listen to him and do what was asked of me, without fighting against it or trying to act like I was the one in charge, since I didn’t know what I was doing and he did. It didn’t seem like magic, but I could do that. Maybe just being willing to let go of what I thought I knew was the point of all this?
“It doesn’t sound too hard.” I spoke, hoping it wouldn’t insult the man. Most people didn’t like to hear that others thought that what they were doing was easy after all. I didn’t mean it that way, just that I could follow instructions and do what was asked without questioning. Anyone could do that.
He just nodded.
“It really isn’t. Just remember that in this space I’m in charge and that you already gave yourself permission to do what I ask. Do that and you’ll find that the power you seek is in reach within moments.” He clapped again, a shocking sound that set my nerves on edge just a little in the quiet of the room.
“Let’s begin then. Sit back and listen to what I say as closely as possible. First I’d like you to notice your breath. Breathe in a way that you find comfortable, in and out. The first breath you take will be your total agreement to go along with what I ask of you. Think of it as a promise that cannot be broken, a thing you will never let yourself break. When you’re ready, I’d like you to take a breath in and pay attention to it as you exhale. Do it in your own time. Inhale and notice yourself doing it as well as you can. Feel the air in your nose or mouth, your lungs… Then exhale and feel the whole process reverse. The air might feel a little cool going in and warmer going out. Try to notice these things.” He went quiet for a few seconds, waiting for me to do it seemed.
Finally I let the breath I’d taken go, hissing out gently in the nearly silent room.
“Good. Now, since you like to read and it’s well known that the written word holds more power in the mind than the spoken, I’d like you to imagine your tablet in front of you. Remember how it feels in our hands, the weight of it, the texture. Remember the color of it and pretend you’re holding it right now. Look at it… can you see the words in front of you? The word on the screen is the most important part. When you see it, you will be ready to follow my other instructions perfectly.”
I focused as hard as I could, trying to see the print on the screen. Using my imagination and memory to feel it, to make it real. After a bit I could. I felt weight certainly, along with a sense of it being there. Finally I worked to imagine the words, though I couldn’t make out what they meant yet. I could see the lines there though.
“Yes. I see it.” I felt excited at the realization, a tickling in my middle that came from success that caused me to tighten my stomach muscles just a little, but I didn’t let it show in my voice. I was too focused for that. Plus it was just using my imagination. Little kids did that all the time. I had the same ability that they did after all. It wasn’t a superpower or even that difficult. Just make believe that I made real by trying to.
“Very good. Now, as I speak, imagine my words being on the screen in front of you. Each word I say is there, as your eyes track them, moving from left to right, starting a new line when it’s time to do so. Keep putting the words in place and remember the feeling of the weight in your hands. The warmth of contact. Each word I say right in front of your eyes.” Silence filled the room for a few seconds, so I focused on my hands, the feeling growing more real as I sat and waited.
“Now, as you watch the words, feel them sink deeply into your subconscious mind, recording them permanently as you see them. Imagine what it must feel like for information to move that deeply inside your brain. The deepest parts of yourself will remember these words totally and completely and will follow the instructions exactly, without hesitation. Do you understand this?”
I did. The words were so clear to me that they had to be having long term effects, didn’t they? Anything written and read held power. Everyone that thought about it could see that. Just putting something into print made it more real. That was what I basically did at the advertising agency I worked for. Making ideas into words that people could read and make part of themselves.
“Yes.” The answer was short, because I didn’t need to say more. It sounded a bit dreamy and slow but I felt fine. Normal really.
“Fine then. Record these words. Tonight, as you sit reading in a darkened room, alone or with others, you’ll notice the world around you, the dark that surrounds you, the hums and buzzes of the modern world. The tweets and chirps of the natural one. As you notice these things, you’ll find yourself paying attention to the beating of your own heart. The feeling in your chest that you normally ignore will become stronger to you, more real. That will be a signal to your deeper self to notice what’s really happening around you. You will drop the cloud over your eyes and mind and see, feel and hear what’s really happening.
You see, we, as humans, do not need to learn how to see the supernatural, we need to unlearn the constant blocking of that part of reality we’ve all been taught our entire lives. You will do this now and keep doing it from this point on. With each moment, with each breath, with each thought that triggers a fear of death, you will notice the reality around you. You will see the ghosts, feel them. You will know what they want, though this may come without words to your mind. You do not need sounds to know what they mean now.
Do you understand all of this? Do you agree to let it happen to you fully without reservation?”
He waited again, my signal to answer. I was still seeing the words on the screen in my mind each time he spoke, the black letters on the white behind it. I felt them burning themselves deeply into my thoughts. It wasn’t some vast thing, but it was real enough.
“I understand.” I was supposed to just pay attention and not block myself from experiencing the supernatural? It seemed almost too easy, but it also sounded about right. It made sense that I’d stop myself from experiencing things like that, since they were unknown to me and hit that fear of death I had. The unknown was scary and always would be. It was simply part of being human, something I had to adjust to and deal with.
The Doctor started to speak again, the words on the screen so clear now that I saw what was said, rather than heard it. The words he used had a sound in my head, but it was closer to my own voice, as if I was really just reading a story about what I was doing. I worked to make it all real, trying not to lose what was being said. I could feel myself relaxing when I paid attention to it, my mind becoming sharper and more concentrated on what I was doing. In the moment it felt like I was reading a book on my tablet, so I put all the effort I could into doing it well, seeing each word and feeling it sink deeply into my mind. I’d already agreed to it, so doing less than that was cheating.
“Very good. What I want to do now is explain what’s going to be happening to you, so that you know what to expect as the hours and days pass. Understand this now, this will be happening to you, you will notice and feel all of these things fully and completely, each aspect you notice will increase the strength of all the others greatly. First, as you read later on your tablet, when this session is done, you’ll notice the feeling of being watched. You will notice it even now. Can you remember what that feels like? That sense of someone being behind you? Looming and observing… The slight tingling on the back of your neck, or between your shoulder blades as someone, or something, stares at you? That feeling of being regarded from afar? It’s a primal thing. A sense that we all have to alert us to scrutiny and danger. By being alert to it, you will be able to tap into the most primary of psychic abilities. Can you imagine that feeling now?”
I nodded at the man across from me, the words describing it showing up on the screen in my mind, followed by what I was going to say.
“I remember.” It was nearly eerie, the
way the words came before I said them.
“It will be stronger now than ever before. A deeper thing increased through your attention and will. At the same time you’ll also notice the sounds of the world around you. The dead, and other things, try to speak to us all the time, waiting only to be heard. It isn’t always in words, normally they come across as small clicks, raps against the walls, the settling of a house and a thousand other things. At least that’s what you used to think they were. Now you will listen and accept the sounds, paying attention to them, knowing that many of them are more than they seem. Communications from someplace else. Messages from things that want your attention. This is important. You must disregard nothing, no matter how familiar you think it is. Everything is potentially relevant.”
I sat, breathing for a few seconds. I noticed it a lot more clearly than I normally did for some reason. Probably because I was intelligent enough to do it and the idea had just been mentioned. It took processing power to do a task and to notice things outside it at the same time, and only very smart people could really do more than one thing at a time. Everyone else that tried suffered for it, usually failing, even if they didn't realize it.
“At the same time you’ll be able to feel them, the ghosts, spirits and other entities, all around you. A sense of presence, of movement and being. Perhaps it will be your loved one, the one you lost. At this stage you may not get words from them, but you can feel them touch you, hold you, caress your skin gently. Faintly at first, but with greater contact and weight each time it happens. Imagine that now, what it feels like to be touched. A soft hand against the skin of your arm, the warmth and movement, the tingle and joy of it. You’ll also notice the warm and cold spots they create in the air all the time. That’s a sure sign that they’re around you, those uneven energies caused by their passing. These are there all the time, but again people ignore them. You used to, but now these things are easily noticed, important and powerful.”
I tried to pay attention to that as I sat, waiting for something to hit my skin, a cool breeze on my face, a tickle on my skin that shouldn’t be there. I felt things, mainly a subtle movement of the air, but it didn’t keep me from listening and following along.
“This is what will happen to you tonight, as soon as you sit holding your tablet, reading something, you will remember these words on a deep level and live them. It doesn’t matter what it is you read, it will fascinate you without end. At the same time you'll notice all of these things and more. It may frighten you, these feelings and contact with things you don’t understand, in fact it will be very scary, but remember, you are not a coward, so you won’t flee from it in panic or turn away from it in denial. You’re here to embrace the unknown and you will. Even as fear claws at you inside, you won’t let go of your focus. You can’t help but see these things now. In each moment you will begin to experience them more and more.” There was a clap, but this time it didn’t jar me at all. I was too deep in whatever state he’d asked me to go into. It was my choice I remembered, but it was clearly real.
“Do you understand what will be happening to you?” His voice had a silky quality to it, almost like a person performing on a stage.
“Yes. I see and feel the supernatural, because I pay attention to it.”
“Exactly. Now, to make everything easier the next time we meet, I want you to really focus on the mental screen in front of you and see the word I say very clearly. This word will be important to you and hold weight and power for you from this point onward. This is the most important single word in the world to you now. Feel it press itself into your mind as I say it.” The pause was longer than the others had been and Dr. Milford almost whispered the word, having moved much closer suddenly, almost close enough to touch. I hadn’t notice him moving at all, but didn’t startle from it when he spoke.
“Eclipse.”
He settled back as I saw the word on the screen in my hands.
“Eclipse… Each time you hear this word, you will instantly return to the state of mind that you are in now and go into an even deeper state of focused concentration than ever before, becoming more open to the supernatural and the reality around you. Eclipse. See the word. Feel the shape of it in your mind. Remember how you feel right now and that each time you hear that word, you will come back to this mental state and listen to the words I’m saying, seeing them on the mental screen in front of you. Each time you hear the word you will work as hard as possible to go into a more focused and concentrated state, being relaxed and alert, deeply interested in what you are doing, fascinated, perceptive and most of all, follow directions perfectly.” He smiled.
I thought he did at least. It was far away and a bit too dark in the room for me to notice for certain.
“Eclipse.”
He just sat and waited for a long time then, at least it felt like it to me. I felt myself sink more deeply into a focused state, just as interested in what I was reading as he’d said I would be. Fascinated by the flow of words that washed over and through me.
“Now, I want you to go home, driving safely and following all traffic laws. When you get there, you’ll turn the lights off or down, diming them, and read from your tablet, and when you do, you will instantly come back to this state of mind, then go several times deeper. You will let yourself notice the world around you and experience it exactly as I described it, it will be real to you and call the supernatural to you with your complete attention on it. Do you understand?”
“Yes.” It was a plan at least. It was Friday, so what else was I going to do?
“Then, after you experience those things, you’ll return here tomorrow at four in the afternoon for our next session, where you’ll learn to take the next step in contacting the other side. Returning here, even thinking about returning here, will make all of this far more real for you. It will aid you in learning to go deeper and not block out what is really around you. Remember, the fear you feel is natural when doing something new. It won’t stop you. Embrace the fear and don’t hide from it. Go now.” He stood and I felt a hand on my arm, helping me to my feet.
“Go now and follow those instructions perfectly. I’ll see you next time.”
I felt myself moved toward the door. It wasn’t fast, but I felt a little abstract as it happened. Like I was being guided by someone else, even though the man next to me had let go already. Dr. Milford didn’t say anything else, but I narrated everything onto the screen in my mind, still feeling the weight of it in my hands. It was strange, but not unpleasant. It was nearly like I’d become a person reading the story of my life, rather than the one living it. Almost as if I were the observer rather than myself. The orders still impacted me, as did the wonder of what I read, but it was easier to let them since I was holding a part of myself at a remove for now.
I drove like that, using the instructions on the screen to guide me, until I got home, about half an hour later. It wasn’t a hard trip, but I normally remembered driving. This time I didn’t. It was like I’d just gotten into the car and read for a bit, then found myself at home. I didn’t let it worry me, since it had worked out, just walking, getting my keys out of my front pocket as I got to the door. It was a good door, made of polished wood, varnished to a deep shine, light colored wood. Blond Alex used to call it. I didn’t focus on anything but the door though, until it was opened. Thinking of Alex would just make me sad. It was why I needed to learn to communicate with the dead.
So I wouldn’t have to be sad anymore.
The Doctor had been right about that one. I really was afraid of death. Not my own overly, or if I was, I hid it from myself pretty well. The death of others though, that always got to me. Especially if I loved them. Was that just me lying to myself though? Was it really just my own fear of not being that did it? Of the unknown?
Probably. I didn’t wait to do anything else, just moving into the house, the door shutting behind me with a soft thump. I picked up my book reader and settled on the sofa, it was a comfortable dark blue thing
that Alex had picked out years before. Not my favorite color, but sitting on it reminded me of better times, so I couldn’t get rid of it. I turned the power on and waited, picking something to read from the list of things that I had waiting. It didn’t matter what after all. That wasn’t important right now. Just touching the reader was, that and seeing the words in front of me. A strange feeling washed over me as I focused more deeply, dropping into a much deeper mental state than I’d even been in before. I tried to remember if I’d ever been in a deeper state... but I couldn’t. For a few seconds I just felt myself sinking into my own mind.
That’s when something strange happened. The mental pad in my head matched up with the one in my hands as I sat, the words on the screen suddenly snapped together with the ones of the book I was looking at. A horror story about a ghost. It wasn’t a coincidence, since I’d been thinking a lot about the subject lately. The words were spookier than normal in the dark, more interesting and visceral. I read for a bit, letting myself relax, noticing the feeling as I moved from one page to the next.
Someone was watching me. From behind.
I could feel it. As I noticed it the feeling intensified a lot. The sofa had its back facing a wall, but the feeling was coming from behind me anyway. It couldn’t be, I knew. No one could be standing there. After a few seconds of this, the sense of being observed getting stronger I turned and looked anyway. The wall was white and looked gray in the dim light, the reader being the only thing illuminating the space and my head casting a shadow on the wall. A dim shadow.
Was it really a shadow though? I couldn’t really see it, only from the corner of my eye when I tried to look away. What if it was a ghost or spirit trying to get my attention? Looking to the front I tried to remember what I was going to feel. Someone watching me, with a tingle on my neck, or maybe between my shoulder blades? That was going to come first, I though. I really could feel it. Not just a tingle either, but like something crawling on the delicate flesh there, almost like a spider was on me. First it was the barest tingle, then a slight itch that kept growing, moving just a bit. I couldn’t help myself, thinking about it, I had to rub at it. The feeling faded for a bit, then came back seconds later, stronger than before. Almost like someone was touching me, a steady pressure that didn’t go away immediately.
