Unrelenting Terror

by P. S. Power

  Like someone else was living my life and I was an observer, just reading the story. Even as I did though, I noticed that it felt like something was standing behind me. A being that wasn't really there. I tried to focus on the words in front of me, but I couldn't distract myself enough to not feel the tingle on the back of my neck.

  My boss, Charles Windrow, stood in front of my desk, holding a sheath of papers in his hand. On his face was a smile though, which was out of place. It almost looked like trying to keep it up was hurting him or something. I nodded, not knowing what he wanted. A brief thrill ran through me then, one of fear. Not about Charles, or even losing my job. It was just that I’d lost whole days now and still didn’t feel in control of myself. Not totally. Who knew what I’d been doing? It could have been anything.

  “Good job on these. I just wanted to say that before you left for the weekend. Now go home and get some rest. The work will still all be here on Monday. Not that I don’t love the effort you’ve been putting in the last few days, but we aren’t planning to give away my job here just yet. Keep this up and you’ll probably have it despite that in a year or two though. Just remember your friends on the way up. Anyway, good work.” He left without waiting for me to reply. I watched as I worked, like I was just reading a story about it. It was easier that way, but distinctly odd.

  That had been the plan, making myself believe I was only reading about my own life, pretending to be someone else as hard as I could, but I hadn’t realized how real it would seem. It honestly felt like my life was a story. Only it didn’t. It was more than that too. I was part of the tale. I was reading it, sitting and staring at the screen in my hands, but at the same time, somehow, it was about me, it was about the real me, and what had happened to me. Almost as if there was more than one reality somehow.

  In a daze I walked to my car and drove. I didn’t know where I was going, but ended up at Dr. Milford’s office which didn't surprise me overly. The parking lot was empty, except for one car. Milford’s. I went in, not knowing if I had an appointment or anything and not caring. It was as if my legs were working on their own, without consulting my brain. Inside I walked to the office door instead of waiting, and entered to find Dr. Milford sitting, a smoking pipe in his right hand.

  He nodded toward it.

  “An affectation originally.” He gestured with the dark brown and black thing in his hand, a hint of red coming from within the dark cup. “I thought it would make me look cultured and intelligent. It does, of course, but now I’m also addicted to nicotine. It almost makes me wish I’d just put on some glasses instead.” Without waiting he gestured at the chair I normally sat in, which had its back to the outside window this time, that being all that provided light for the room. The whole thing was gloomy, the blinds stopping most of the light and the smoke hanging in the air scenting the whole place, a slight biting feeling at the back of my nose. It wasn’t totally unpleasant. The doctor wore a full three piece suit today, in gray. It was the first time I remembered seeing him in anything except black.

  “Eclipse.” He waited as I sat, watching me closely. His eyes locked on mine.

  I knew on some level I was dropping deeper and that I did with each repetition of the word. It was an interesting effect, a fascinating thing. There had to be a bottom, a place so deep that I couldn’t go any further, but so far I hadn’t found it. I saw the man still, as if he were real and not just a story, but I also saw the print in my mind.

  “Now, I’d like you to listen to my words closely, more closely than you ever have before. You’ve been doing very well, but I need you to do something else for me now. I need you to remember our deal the one that you made when this started. I’d help you find what you needed to connect with Alex and for your part you’d listen to whatever I told you and do it, without question. Do you remember that?” He said it in a low voice. I had to strain to hear him it was so far away.

  “Yes. I remember that.” It was what I’d been doing after all. I didn’t really know why he felt the need to remind me about it. I pretty much couldn't do anything else now.

  “Good. Here is what I want you to do tonight. Go home, to your personal computer and write up this story. Do it very well and make it yours, make it a part of you forever, imprint it on the deepest part of your soul. Hold nothing back at all. At a later date you’ll need to be reminded of what you’ve done, who you really are. Think of it as a safety net. If you get too lost, too shunted to the side, you’ll be able to read the story you wrote and recapture yourself. That… won’t be easy, when it happens. Expect to live through all the worst things you can imagine from ghosts and demons before you can really break anything's hold on you, but it will set you free after you do, if it doesn't drive you mad first. So become the story and then tell everyone you can about it when it’s done, so they can remind you later. Remember that, when you finish this story, go online and tell hundreds, thousands of people about it, everyone you possibly can, about how it made you feel and the power of it. How good it is, so they'll keep the memory of it fresh. Even tell them about your fear, the ghosts and demons that have plagued you. If you don’t do it well, Alex might well be lost forever. I know that idea frightens you, and it should... so do it. Tell everyone you can about how important this story is to you and how deeply it has grabbed you and impacted your life.” He glared at me a bit, then sighed and sat back.

  “It may not be needed, but you have to do it now anyway just in case. Otherwise when it becomes important it may be too late. This is all the protection I can offer you at the moment. If you don't do it you may well end up being consumed. Now, how have things been going?”

  I didn’t speak for a long time, not knowing what to say. Finally my mouth worked, the words just coming without active participation on my part. Not consciously at least.

  “I’m… just reading a story. It’s a ghost story. I feel it and it affects me, but… that’s all I’m doing.” It was too. I barely remembered doing anything else. It felt right, and I knew I had to have been, but all I remembered at the moment were the black words on the white screen.

  “Alright. I’d like you to keep doing that then.

  Right now, I want you to think about dreams and sleep. You’ve no doubt noticed how sensitive we are to the real world around us when we sleep? How things constantly touch you, caress you, crawl on you, while you lie vulnerable and unconscious? That will keep happening every night from now on. They will invade your dreams and influence you when you aren't dreaming. It’s simply part of living in an awakened state, so be aware of it and try to manage the fear as you can. Don’t hide from it or deny it. That's very important. You can’t see reality or experience it fully if you don’t allow yourself to admit to how much of it scares you. Fear is a human thing, a mammalian one. Hiding from that terror will only make it worse. Admit it and move on to the next thing. Do you understand?”

  Did I?

  “Yes.” It was the only thing I could say. I just had to go along with the man now, didn’t I? Alex needed help. Who knew what had been happening while I was away, pretending to not be myself in order to stay sane enough to not let the darkness in. Horrible tortures, rape and things so evil I couldn’t even imagine them. I didn’t let myself try.

  Milford smoked as he sat, great clouds of pale smoke, almost a bluish white, drifted up toward the ceiling, curling and billowing as I watched.

  “Go home and do that then. Make sure to tell everyone about this story that you can and get them to help you spread the word in a positive fashion. You’ll feel compelled to do it in a way that you can’t resist, and if something tries to make you feel any other way, you'll fight against it, the feeling just coming to you, causing you to say and do just the right thing. It’s the most important part of all this. Write it down exactly as you lived it and make it interesting and compelling. Go now. I’ll see you at Daniel's at ten tomorrow evening. Until then stay focused and detached. Think of nothing but your book. The one you are reading.”

&nb
sp; I knew that I moved, that I said goodbye and drove home carefully. I saw things as I drove, but nothing got in my way, so I didn’t have any problems. Then I moved to the computer like I’d been told and wrote for hours without moving anything more than my fingers. I worked steadily, words coming as if I was simply taking dictation, not actually doing anything that required effort from me. As if my hands were not my own. I wrote until I finished, the clock saying it was eleven-eleven in the morning. The rest of the work I didn’t remember clearly. I posted about it, sent e-mails mentioning the work to everyone I knew and did other things I wasn’t sure I’d remember later. Convincing people to read, to love the story.

  Then ate a sandwich. I hadn’t realized I was hungry at all, but something told me to eat.

  Not just something I realized as I ate the slice of American cheese between two pieces of bread. Someone. Alex. I looked across the room, but didn’t see anything except a vague bluish blur in the air. For a second I didn’t understand, but then I got it. Alex was there. Talking to me. Sounding calm and relaxed. Happy even. That was a huge improvement over last time.

  “There you are love.” The voice was exactly as I remembered it. Rich and full. Perfect. How I remembered it from life, not the scene of terror and screaming that tried to replace the good times in my memory now.

  “Thank you for everything. You can’t know how hard this has all been. Death… It isn’t what we’re all told. Not at all. We’re fed fairy stories about heaven and wonderful bright lights at the ends of tunnels. That doesn’t exist. It’s all like... this, for everyone. It doesn’t matter if you were a good person in life or not, everyone has these things happen to them. Not constantly, but… It’s bad. Horrible all the time. What we’re doing, what you are, I mean, that’s the only way to escape it. Someone has to make a bargain with a being powerful enough to protect them. Only, once you’re dead you don’t have a lot to bargain with. They want the living, not spirits. They have a lot of those to play with. I… Thank you love.” Alex appeared then, a pale blue shimmer in the room in front of me.

  “I’m so sorry.” Then, without saying more, Alex vanished.

  “Sorry for what?” There was a lot that could have meant. Sorry for dying came to mind, since that had been horrible for me. Or sorry for what had happened since I’d started working with Dr. Milford. That was my problem though. My choice. Maybe it was just about having to leave suddenly?

  I didn’t know and couldn’t figure it out. I just ate the dry sandwich and moved to get my car keys and a jacket to wear. It wasn’t cold out anymore, but the night air was still cool and it was starting to get dark. I blinked and looked at the clock, which said it was already eight-thirty. I didn’t remember having looked at a map, or being told directly what route to go by, but I knew it would take most of that time to get to Daniel’s estate by ten or so. I went to the garage, suddenly feeling eyes on the back of my neck again. A sure sign that something was behind me. I turned to look and caught a glimpse of a dark black form, stalking toward me, a single hand out, as if to grab me.

  I didn’t run to the car, but I moved quickly and didn’t look back again. I didn’t think I’d be able to outrun an entity like that, not even in a car, but the sooner I got to the party, the sooner we could possibly find something willing to help protect me. Me and Alex. That thing was going to keep doing bad things to us if I didn’t. Poor Alex having had to suffer for all these months because I was too stupid to figure out that I even had to do anything.

  There was no time left for doubt, I knew that now. I had to agree to share a bit of my life in order to be safe and keep others that way too. No one else could do it for me. Toni seemed alright and she said she had a deal like that. I didn’t know for certain, but I thought that Dr. Milford did too. That just made sense. He certainly didn’t seem worried about anything at least. Not on a personal level. It was like he didn’t feel fear, even as he told me to admit it when I did.

  Jerald…

  What I’d heard in the crypt, that must have been when it happened. Jerald hadn't sounded all that happy about it, but he seemed fine over all now. I didn’t get why he’d tell me that they wanted to possess me though. Toni had said something about jockeying for position. Maybe it was…

  I didn’t have an answer to that at all. It didn’t make a lot of sense, but I didn’t have a choice anyway. I had something I had to do. It might frighten me, or even hurt, but that couldn’t stop me. It wasn’t just about me and I wouldn’t let anything keep me from protecting my love. A fierce feeling ran through me as I drove, a protective drive that overwhelmed me for a moment. I’d expected to feel scared and probably would when it came down to actually doing something, but at the moment I felt ready.

  Determined.

  I knew that for a fact because the words behind my eyes told me it was so. The trip was still a long one and I started more than once to worry about what would happen. How exactly did I share my body with a non-human entity? I got the basic idea, that I kind of agreed to let them in, or they took over by force, but that didn’t speak to a lot of actual sharing. Was it like a time share, were I got every other day or week, or did they just ride around with me all the time, coming out when they wanted to do something?

  The idea sounded confusing and strange, but what else could I do? Human beings just didn’t have the power needed to fight off things like what I’d been running into. The only other real method seemed to be ignorance and that had been removed from the board already. I knew too much now. It didn’t matter. It was time to make the deal. I would have traded places with Alex, if it would have worked, even if it meant death and horrible constant abuse and torture after that. So if I had to lose part of my life to do it, then that was what would happen. I just hoped it really would be enough. The thing that had been attacking, the black form, it was so powerful. Evil too. I needed something stronger than that to bargain with. Something that would keep its word once it had what it wanted.

  I pulled into the driveway in the dark, not even realizing I’d done it. I hadn’t used the GPS but I was at the right place anyway. Somehow. I had a strange feeling that someone had told me the directions, then made me forget that I knew them. My guess would be Dr. Milford. I just didn’t know why. To keep me from coming at some time other than now? I hadn’t even thought about it, to tell the truth. The crypt had been so freaky I really didn’t want to come back at all.

  Focusing deeply on the words in my head I drove to the gate, wondering if I needed a key or something to get in. It turned out to just have a button, one that lit up with a pale orange glow from the back that had to be pushed. The gate opened instantly and stayed that way until after I drove past. The wrought iron slammed closed behind me, moving a lot faster that it had opening. Almost as if trapping me inside.

  No matter what I couldn’t have found the crypt in the dark, but the guest house was easier, being well lit and having several cars in front of it. Kind of a sign that it was the right place. I pulled up alongside Toni’s vehicle and parked, wondering again if this was a good idea. I knew it was just nerves, but they were deserved this time. I had no clue what I was doing. I didn’t know if it would hurt or not even. All I knew was that this was the path I'd chosen, even though I hadn’t had to. I didn’t get to the door before it opened, Daniel popping his head out.

  “Hey!” He actually waved to me, a drink in his left hand, smiling. “You made it. Great. I was hoping you would. Everyone else is here already. Come in, please.”

  I walked quickly, trying not to give myself enough time to get too scared. For some reason I expected everyone to be dressed in black robes when I got in, but it was just the same crowd from the week before, dressed in nice looking but casual outfits. About like what I was wearing. I hadn’t thought about it, just throwing on the first thing I’d grabbed, but it was about comparable with everyone else. Dr. Milford wore black again, but for the first time ever had blue jeans on with a sweater. Toni had on black jeans and a pink shirt that didn’t look
right with her died black hair. She smiled at me when I looked at her, running over as if happy to see me.

  “Hi. Are you excited? I am. It’s not every day you get to see an event like this. Plus the eclipse.” She took my hand and pulled me over to where everyone else stood talking. Jerald, who looked like himself again, moved to get me a drink. I was a little leery at first, wondering if getting drunk would be a good idea, but then I just took a sip, deciding not to care, I needed the courage anyway. It was just fruit punch, which left me feeling a little scared for some reason. Like even this was being controlled for me, so I couldn't end up drunk when the time came.

  “Thanks.” I knew I sounded distant, but I tried to make myself smile. Toni had been nice to me, so I wanted to return the favor.

  More to the point I read the words on the page in my head and tried to follow along, playing my part. Dr. Milford raised his plastic cup to me, an informal salute and stroked his chin with the thumb and forefinger of his other hand.

  “Glad you could make it. Are you ready for the events? My… friends, have been working on this for you all week, selecting a wonderful volunteer for you. I mentioned the pressing time frame and really, I’m very pleased by the turnout of beings that stepped forward for you. I think we should all take a few moments to unwind, perhaps have some of the wonderful refreshments and then head outside as the eclipse begins? That’s a wonderful time for such a joining. It will go more smoothly. A sort of cosmic metaphor, if you will, the shadow of one thing passing over the light of another. It will make things easier for you.” He raised his cup.

  “The light is an illusion.” It was a toast, of sorts, if an odd one.

  Everyone else raised their drinks and repeated it. Even me, though I hadn't realized I was doing it until I felt the red liquid touch my lips.