It took her a moment to compose herself. “Are you serious?” Tilly asked from behind her hand.
Eva nodded.
Tilly dropped her hand. “You don’t even know if you’re kinky or not, do you?”
Eva shrugged. “I read those books a couple of months ago. You know, the Fi—”
“Don’t even.” Tilly pointed a finger at her. “Please, I am waaay too exhausted to deal with that topic with any degree of tact or patience right now.” Tilly sighed, exhaustion returning with a vengeance. “Let’s get you guys through this first. Then you and I will sit down and talk. A long talk. And we’ll see what we can do. I have a feeling I’ll be handing you off to June and Eliza because of my schedule. But we take care of our own. And if you want to be part of our ‘family’”—she used air quotes—“then yes, we’ll take you under our collective wing and help you out.”
Then Tilly’s gaze swiveled onto Jesse, her eyes narrowing. “Waaaait a minute—”
“Sorry,” he said, guessing where she was going with that. “I only swing one way, and that’s guys.”
Tilly snapped her fingers. “Dammit. That would have been the simplest answer.”
“Besides, I’m not poly, and neither is Leo.”
“Oh, well.” Tilly shrugged. “Can’t blame a Domme for trying.”
* * * *
After morning rounds, a doctor came to talk with them and update them on Leo’s condition. There was no change, which was expected. They would do a series of tests on him later in the afternoon to measure brain function and see if there was any neurological damage.
He advised them to go home and get some sleep.
Landry and Cris, with Leah, had returned to the hospital. The last thing Jesse wanted to do was leave Leo there alone, but he had started nodding off sitting up, and knew Tilly couldn’t be much better off.
Which Landry had foreseen. Leah had driven the men. Landry ordered Tilly and Eva both to hand over their car keys. Leah, who’d come prepared for an all-day vigil, would stay and get medical updates and pass them along if there were any changes. Other friends would be coming throughout the day to sit shifts with her, so that Leo was never alone at the hospital.
Eva, Jesse, and Laurel went back in to visit and say good-bye until later. Jesse was so tired, he couldn’t even carry Laurel, so she walked next to him, tightly squeezing his hand.
Eva leaned in first, kissing Leo’s forehead. Then Jesse. He did manage the strength to lift Laurel so she could kiss her daddy’s hand.
They filed back out to the parking lot.
“Cris, you drive Eva’s car. We’ll drop Jesse off first, then we’ll take Eva and Laurel home.”
Eva turned to Jesse, tears in her eyes. “Can you please come back with us to our house? You can take the guest room. Please?”
Laurel tugged on his hand. “Please, Uncle Jesse?”
All he wanted to do was curl up around Leo’s pillow and cry himself to sleep in their bed. While he might be immune to Eva’s charms, he wasn’t to Laurel’s.
“I need clothes and stuff to take a shower. And my phone charger.”
After Jesse made Eva call Laurel’s school to explain why Laurel wasn’t there today, they loaded up and drove off. Everyone waited in the cars as he trudged upstairs to their apartment.
How will I get him home?
There had been mentions of a rehab center. Jesse wasn’t even sure if insurance would pay for all of that. That, right there, was a massive problem. With the hit in income, Jesse knew he couldn’t afford the apartment on his own. Kel still had his apartment vacant. Maybe they could rent from him, but…the stairs.
If Leo had trouble with stairs, it’d be a serious problem.
Fuck.
He grabbed some stuff, clean clothes, a couple of days’ worth, and then his leather play collar. No, he couldn’t wear it around Laurel, but he could tuck it into his pillowcase and have it close for comfort.
He grabbed Leo’s pillow and forced himself not to stand there smelling it, or he knew he’d start crying.
Once he had everything, including his laptop and stuff for his schoolwork, he locked the door and trudged back downstairs.
He didn’t realize he’d dozed off until Laurel, who was riding in the backseat with him, reached over and poked his arm. “Uncle Jesse, we’re home.”
Home. Well, home to her. The only home she’d ever really known, except Leo’s old apartment and now the new one.
At least Laurel will always have a home.
He couldn’t even form a jumbled to-do list in his brain. He’d need to talk to Ed today and find out what was going on. Make sure he’d heard everything correctly the night before. Something-something filings, something-something…whatever.
Landry and Cris helped him get his stuff inside, but Jesse carried Leo’s pillow. After a quick round of hugs, Landry, Cris, and Tilly departed. They would drop Tilly off at home and then return to the hospital to sit with Leah for at least part of the day.
Laurel, subdued but wide awake with a few hours of sleep under her belt, was settled in the living room with the remote control and a bowl of cereal and a sincere promise not to go outside, and especially not to go out onto the lanai near the pool.
Eva turned the light on in the guest room for him. “You know where the bathroom and towels are,” she said. “Please, make yourself at home.” She didn’t move.
He wasn’t all too sure she hadn’t just fallen asleep standing up. He reached out and touched her shoulder. “Eva?”
She looked up at him and, with her voice so low it couldn’t be heard by eagle-eared Laurel in the living room, she said, “Promise me something, please?”
“I’d have to hear it first.”
“If…just…if. If…he doesn’t…promise me you’ll move in here and stay a part of our lives. Please?”
He could barely process much past the point that she meant if Leo didn’t make it. “Eva, you’re her mother. I don’t care what papers are filed, I will not take her away from you if he…if.”
“No. That’s not what I meant. I want you to be her guardian. She loves you. If…I know that Leo wouldn’t want me to keep you out of her life, because she loves you. You could still go to school and work and not worry about where to live. I wouldn’t have to worry as much about my schedule. It would be—”
He finally cradled her chin in his hands just to shut her up. “Eva,” he quietly said, “he’s still alive. He’s going to make it. We don’t have to plan anything beyond that right now.”
“But what if he doesn’t make it?” Her voice broke. She sounded more like Laurel than a woman of thirty-eight. Defeated, lost. Vulnerable.
WWLD—What Would Leo Do?
He kissed her forehead and pulled her in for a long, strong hug. Hoping he didn’t regret this, and that it wasn’t allowing her to transfer her emotional dependence from Leo onto him, he said, “If. I will always be a part of your lives. Hers and yours. I promise. We’ll deal with that only…if. But I need you to do something for me.”
He felt her nod against his chest.
“I need you to help me be strong, too. We have to stay strong for Laurel. I know you’re hurting right now, in more than one way. I’m hurting, too. You and I have to be a united front for Laurel right now. She needs to see us working together so she doesn’t have to worry about there being any tension. I refuse to think in any terms other than Leo is going to make it. But you have to help me with this. Okay?”
“Yes, Sir.”
Sleep left his system. Yes, during their pillow talk, Leo had mused that he suspected Eva was submissive. That, sometimes, she’d jokingly call him “sir” in the course of trying to get something done, if he asked her to do something.
Jesse didn’t know if he should be giving more weight to this than was intended. But now that she knew about the kinky stuff, he couldn’t ignore it, either. He was hurting because he risked losing Leo.
She’d already lost Leo, not once, but now possibly
twice. She also faced the loss of her fantasies of him maybe one day coming back to her. Reality had set in. She was officially divorced.
And she’d handed custody of Laurel over to him.
He squeezed her a little harder, his chin resting on the top of her head. “Good girl.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jesse didn’t even get a shower. He plugged his cell phone—and Leo’s—into chargers on the bedside table, stripped down to his briefs, pulled the covers back, crawled under them, cradled Leo’s pillow in his arms, and…
That was the last conscious thought he had until he awakened to someone poking him in the center of his forehead.
“Uncle. Jesse.”
He opened his eyes to find Laurel lying next to him on the bed, on top of the covers. She wore different clothes than she had been wearing when they got home—clothes that absolutely didn’t match—and her hair was wet and stringy.
“Did you go swimming?” It was the only thought his brain could process, that if she’d disobeyed them and gone into the pool alone, he would have to discipline her for that.
Eye roll. “No. I took a bath.”
Duh.
His brain didn’t want to engage. “Where’s your mom?”
“Her door’s locked. I think she’s still asleep. I heard something break a while ago but she didn’t answer when I knocked. I think her TV is on.”
His eyes dropped closed, sleep swirling around him until she poked his forehead again. “Uncle. Jesse.”
He peeled his eyes open again. “Sweetheart, what time is it?”
She climbed over him, managing to nail him both in the gut and the nuts, to reach his cell phone on the side table. “1:17.”
Now he was wide awake and in pain. At least he still had the covers over him, but her bony knees and elbows had driven the breath right out of him.
When he finally managed to suck in a pained breath, he asked, “What did you need, sweetheart?”
“I’m hungry. Can I have lunch?”
“Yes.”
Despite his pain, his eyelids started to droop again when she asked, “Can you fix me something? Please?”
Right. He didn’t know what was in Eva’s kitchen. At their house, they always kept sandwich fixings where Laurel could easily access them and make her own. Leo was big on making sure she was as independent as possible, teaching her how to do things so she didn’t need to rely on them for everything.
“Okay.” He sat up, taking care to hold the covers strategically in place. “Let me get some shorts on and I’ll be right there. Go on.”
“Thank you.” She kissed him on the cheek before climbing over him again—only nailing him in the legs with her bony appendages this time—instead of just climbing out of bed on that side and walking all the way around. She left the room and he sat there, still trying to process.
He checked his phone—he found a text from Leah that she’d sent twenty minutes earlier saying Leo’s parents had both arrived and were there, but no change in Leo’s condition. And then various texts and missed calls from other Suncoast Society friends asking how Leo was doing.
Jesse grabbed a pair of shorts from his bag and pulled them on. He hit the bathroom first—yep, one post-bath Typhoon Laurel disaster going on in there—then groggily managed to stumble his way out to the kitchen where Laurel had seated herself at the counter.
“What do you want me to make for you, sweetheart?” he asked on his way to the fridge.
“May I have a sandwich, please?”
He stopped and turned to her. “Seriously?” He regretted his tone and immediately gentled it. “Honey, you make yourself sandwiches all the time at our place. Why couldn’t you have made yourself a sandwich?”
“Mommy said I’m not allowed. That I’ll make a mess.”
He was not nearly awake enough for this but knew he couldn’t go back to sleep now, either. Not with Typhoon Laurel wide awake and on the prowl and Eva…not.
He’d deal with their differing parenting styles later. If Eva was serious about wanting him to stay, she would have to make some changes of her own. Laurel needed consistency and it was blatantly obvious she wasn’t getting it.
Then again, if he hadn’t been dropped into the Twilight Zone last night, technically he supposed he was the one who could dictate that now.
He headed to the fridge, just past two open upper cabinet doors. He reached out and closed them along the way, glancing in to see one filled with wine and other liquor glasses, the other holding liquor bottles and some serving pitchers, sugar bowls and gravy boats, and other assorted useless crap only used on holidays.
“Honey, don’t leave cabinet doors open. You know better than that. If you open it, close it.”
“I didn’t open those. I’m not allowed to. And I can’t reach them. One’s Mommy’s cabinet and the other has the breakable stuff. Mommy keeps my Hello Kitty cup in the drainer by the sink. I can reach it without a chair.”
He wasn’t going to get into an argument with her about it now. He’d deal with the lying later, when he was more awake and had some coffee in him.
Wasn’t there something about kids acting out when there was turmoil? The poor kid had a shit-ton of turmoil going on right now.
I’ll ask June and Scrye about it. Or Eliza and Rusty.
Of all their friends, they were the first who came to mind as experienced parents he could go to for advice about raising a little girl.
His first job, actually, was to clean the coffeepot and get a fresh batch of really strong brew going. He’d need it.
In the fridge he found most of what he needed, except for bread, which Laurel directed him to in the pantry cupboard. With her guidance, he found paper plates and utensils and her cup. He could probably grab his shower while she was eating. They’d have to discuss getting her back in school tomorrow or Wednesday. There was nothing she could do but sit at the hospital, and the routine would be good for her and keep her mind off Leo’s condition.
As he fixed Laurel a turkey and cheese sandwich, he struggled to shove back his growing resentment.
He felt sorry for Eva. He did. He got it.
But there were multiple ways she would have to step up and help him. She couldn’t just abdicate all her adult and parental responsibilities and dump them onto him because Leo was—literally—not available.
And dammit, who was going to be his Dominant for the duration? If he had to suck it up and adult and parent and deal, so would Eva.
After getting Laurel settled in the living room in front of the TV with a glass of iced tea, her sandwich, and a bowl of fresh fruit, he extracted another promise from her not to go outside. Then he fixed himself a mug of coffee and headed down the hall to wake Eva. He’d have to straighten up the bathroom before he could get his shower. Typhoon Laurel had left a disaster behind, including what looked like half her damn toy box.
He stopped by Laurel’s room. She had, at least, attempted to make her bed. She got points for that. Several dresser drawers stood open, looking like a crackhead had rummaged through them for clothes. He started to straighten things up then caught himself.
This was Eva’s house. She could wake up and do disaster recovery in the wake of Typhoon Laurel while he got his shower.
It surprised him, actually. At their house, Laurel was very neat and tidy, and he’d never seen her room here looking this messy before. And it hadn’t been messy just Friday when they’d picked her up. She must have done that since they’d returned to the house that morning.
He trudged down the hall to the end, to Eva’s door, and knocked. “Eva, Laurel’s awake and I need to get a shower. I just fed her lunch.” He started to turn away before he realized he hadn’t heard a reply yet.
He paused, waited, then knocked again. “Eva?”
Damn, she’s a sound sleeper.
He took a deep breath and sipped his coffee.
Patience, dude. She’s in crisis mode, too.
He pulled a little Dom-tone of h
is own as he knocked again. “Eva. I need you to wake up.”
Nothing.
Dammit.
He tried the door and found the knob locked.
That’s right. Laurel had mentioned something about that being why she’d awakened him instead of her mom.
Fuck it. He turned and was heading toward his bedroom to get his cell phone and call Eva’s cell when several thoughts finally clicked home at once.
Now wide awake, he slipped back into the kitchen without Laurel noticing him and examined the two cabinet’s contents more carefully.
There was an empty space in the liquor cabinet, and what looked like a missing highball glass from a set of them in the other cabinet.
He left his coffee mug on the counter and ran back down the hall, where he pounded on her bedroom door. “Eva. Open up. Right now.”
Nothing.
Laurel appeared at the end of the hallway. “Is everything okay, Uncle Jesse?”
“Everything’s fine, sweetheart. Go finish your lunch and sit there and watch TV until Mommy and I come back out.”
“Okay.”
Miracle of miracles, she disappeared without having to be told twice.
Trying the knob one more time, he thought fast. It had a little hole in it, on the outside. Hadn’t Leo said something once about Laurel locking herself in the guest bath when she was four?
He looked, then reached up and felt along the top of the door trim. No key, but when he searched the doorframe over the guest bathroom, he found one there and went back to try it, his pulse feeling more like a vibrator set to high than an actual heartbeat in his chest.
He immediately noticed the empty bed and instinctively closed and locked the bedroom door behind him.
The last thing he needed was Laurel walking in on something bad.
“Eva?” He checked around the far side of the bed. Nope.
He found her in the bathroom, on the floor. She wore nothing but an old T-shirt of Leo’s. On the floor next to her, an empty rum bottle, along with a puddle of rum and some broken glass where she’d dropped the highball glass. A little dried blood, but it looked like from her foot, maybe where she’d stepped on a shard.
Vulnerable Page 19
